"Flowers In The Window". By RavenAK.
Hiya! n.n How is everyone doing in my abscence? xD I hope you're doing good. I know I've disappeared for quite some time but now I've returned with a new story. This one is a songfic titled "Flowers in the window", a song by Travis. I chose to make a fic using this song because it always reminds me of Yoh, Anna and Hana-chan. You know, since Hana means flower and all that... and if you think of "flowers in the window" as having kids (named as a flower xD) it makes sense :P
On additional notes, I'd like to add this fic consists mostly in a bunch of flashbacks, so I won't put the word "Flashback" every time one happens. I'll just type ----------- and you'll get the point n.n
By the way, the lyrics are the ones in italic, although you can probably figure it out easily n.n
Disclaimer: All I own is the computer I typed this in and the sudden inspiration for this fic. Like I said, the song "Flowers in the Window" belongs to Travis and we all know SK (and FNU) belongs to Takei-sama and some other people, don't we?
---------- (Ok this one doesn't count xD)
What time was it? He didn't know. How did he get there? He didn't care. In that specific moment, all that Asakura Yoh cared about was where was he going. And he wasn't actually quite sure that it was true. Right then, he could swear he was dreaming.
But no, not this time. This was the real moment he had been waiting for... years, he couldn't calculate just how long he had been away from the place he used to call home.
In that specific moment, he was filled with emotions he couldn't describe. He was walking in line, not fully believing he was finally returning. He was moved by the excitement that produced, and at the same time by some kind of fear, something that impulsed him to get the hell out of wherever he was.
He looked up at the sky, for the first time as a free person. All this time, he had seen the morning become night and vice versa. Right then, he could appreciate the sky just for what it was, as he liked doing in the old days, when nothing mattered to him. Lost in his thoughts, still not tasting the reality, he could feel himself falling. And hitting the ground, hurt. Well, at least he was tasting reality then.
"Yoh!" He heard a voice call him, the only familiar voice then. He wasn't even sure if he could recognize any of his friends if they stood right in front of him. Then her lovely face appeared in front of him with a worried expression. He always thought Anna looked cute when she was worried.
"I'm fine." He answered smiling, trying to get back up. "I think I forgot I was already tired."
"Maybe we should rest for tonight." She said still looking at him with the same expression.
"No." He answered, this time making a big effort to stand up. "We should start going already."
"Yoh..." She put a hand on his chest, stopping him. "You're injured, remember? I don't want you to have an internal bleeding and die on me, after all we've been through."
"I said I'm fine." He smiled again, taking her hand off his chest. However, she wouldn't give up.
"How many fingers do you see here?" She asked clearly showing him three fingers of her now free hand. 'Three beautiful fingers', he thought.
Ignoring her question, he proceeded to literally kiss each of the fingers she was showing him and then, as a response to her shocked expression, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly.
"Thank you." He whispered in her ear, apparently for no particular reason. But before she could answer, or pull away from him, or whatever she had in mind, he continued. "For never leaving me."
He seemed very grateful at the fact that she had been with him during all these years, although she knew in her mind she hadn't been very nice most of the time. Then why all of a sudden...?
"What are you talking about?" She asked holding him back; after all, they were alone in the middle of nowhere, and plus, it looked like it was one of those moments when he felt truly vulnerable. "I'm your wife, after all."
"I know, but still..." He didn't feel like finishing that sentence. He just placed his head on her shoulder and he knew she would get it. After all, she was the only one left. And he knew that if she hadn't left him in all those years, she would probably never do so.
----------
It was a wonderful New Year's Eve at Aomori. Well, at least it was a couple of hours earlier, but at that moment, it was a disaster. Yoh found himself hiding in some sort of improvised cave to cover himself from the cold snowstorm of the outside.
Why did it always have to snow in New Year's Eve? And it was all her fault. It was always about her. After he had defeated the Oni a year ago for her, he thought he would never have to see her again until their wedding day, or if he ever had to see her, he thought she would be at least a little nicer, but no. Apparently, he would see her every New Year's Eve, and she would scare him every time. He had woken up in a happy mood, since it was a special occasion, but then she had to appear to make his day miserable. And as cute as she was, he had had it. She was Evil. She had absolutely no reason to boss him around, insult him AND beat him up.
So, since he couldn't defend himself because 1: He was afraid of her, and 2: He would never hit a woman; he had done what he could do better: run. And he had run like the scared little chicken he was until the snowstorm had started and he, simply got lost. If only she wasn't such a horrible person, none of that would have happened.
Well... She wasn't a horrible person. He got rid of the thought when he found himself blushing. Damn it. Why, if she was so evil, and horrible, and mean, he still liked her? He hated that. Because he couldn't understand it. He brought his knees to his chest as he watched the snowstorm go on and on. Then, a few minutes later, he could swear he heard his name being called out. Maybe it was just his mind tricking him... Or, his grandmother was looking for him? Well, she wasn't the kind of person who would do that, but who knew? She was his grandmother after all...
He got out from his hiding spot to the cold outside, still blurry from the snowstorm. And there, she was, her hair covered in snow and her lips blue from the cold.
"Ah. There you are." She told him, dissimulating her concern perfectly. And in that exact moment, he understood. It was not her fault, it was his. He was the one who had run away from her, instead of facing her and standing by her like he had promised.
Now she had come to find him, because he, in his infinite cowardy, had literally run away from his fiancée. And in that second he remained frozen, contemplating her, he realized she was actually a beautiful person, despite all of her flaws. And even if she still scared him, even if she was evil, he didn't care, because he liked -no, that was a very small word- he loved her.
When all of those things came to his mind in that short amount of time, there was only one thing he wanted to do, and he wouldn't hold it back.
"Anna..." He pronounced with his unusual serious expression.
When I first held you I was cold,
a melting snowman I was told...
And with that, he walked straight to her and wrapped his arms around her in a hug. He had never, ever, held anyone like that, and he didn't think he would ever hold someone else like that. He was shaking with the cold, and so was she, even though they were supposedly trained to stand extreme conditions.
Then there was no one there to hold,
before I swore that I would be alone forever more.
Looking at the snow, and nothing else but snow around them, he realized just how lonely they both were. Nobody else would ever go to find him under a snowstorm like that, and nobody else would have ever saved her from her own darkness. It's not like they were even, but...
He smiled. She wasn't holding him back, but he didn't care, he knew she had a lifetime to get used to it. Matamune had been right all along, they would never feel lonely again. And when he had to return to his hometown and leave her that year, he ended up crying again, but this time, for a very different reason.
----------
Now things hadn't changed so much. They were alone again, in the middle of nowhere, heading somewhere only they knew. Somewhere they liked calling home, where the most important treasure was hidden. Now the 'vulnerable Yoh' moment had passed and they were walking again, after he insisted he was alright. He had forgotten about his injuries as soon as he knew they were both alive and free. All he had in mind was his son. Their son. The one he had never seen in person, but couldn't wait to. Well, he was sure Hana was in good hands, but he also knew he would be better with his own family. He wondered what he would look like now?, who did he look like?, what did he like doing?, how was his personality?, and most importantly: how was he doing? Was he a happy child? Was he insecure? Was he lonely?
At this point, Hana was about 6 years-old, and Yoh didn't know anything about him. But if there was anything he remembered completely, it was the day he found out about his existence.
----------
Yoh wasn't having a very good day. He was frustrated at the fact things weren't as he expected them to, he had already considered the idea of giving up on his dream. No. He shivered. If he did, Anna would surely kill him. In a bloody and violent way. He was at the kitchen table on the place they were staying at while they were in America, his eyes focused on a basket with fruits on it. Not that he wanted to eat right then, he was just lost in his thoughts. He was in a state he never thought he'd be in, he was worried. Then, he heard a voice coming out of one of the rooms.
"Well, I'm not an expert on the matter, but apparently, everything's ok."
Yoh moved his eyes from the basket to the direction where the voice came from. It was Faust's voice, and after he left the room, Anna came behind him.
"Yes. Thank you." She said slightly blushing and leaving quickly to go to the room she was staying at.
Well, that was strange. Those two usually didn't talk unless it was something about the Tournament, but, now that he thought about it... Faust was a doctor, so maybe something had happened to her? Ok, now he was worried. He got up from his seat and went to her room, then he knocked at her door.
"Come in." He heard and he did as told. He found her sitting on a corner reading a magazine. She didn't even move her eyes from it, she knew it was him, who else? He came a little closer to her and just stood there. He didn't even know how to start, or what to say at all.
"What?" She asked finally looking at him instead of the magazine.
"Um... Is everything ok?" He asked awkwardly.
"Yes..." She looked around like trying to find the answer. "Why do you ask?"
"I... I saw you talking to Faust a few seconds ago and..."
"Oh... That..." She said looking away, pretending it wasn't important.
"So... Was it anything about the Tournament?" He tried to go straight to topic.
"No. Not really." She looked down and occupied her hands by closing the magazine and putting it on a table at her side.
"Then..." He didn't want to ask 'What were you talking about?' because he didn't want it to look like he was invading her privacy, but he was concerned, and she wasn't a very talkative person, so if something was wrong with her, probably no one would know. "Then everything's ok, right?"
She didn't even answer him, she just looked at her now empty hands, let out a sigh and nodded. He didn't buy her nod for a second. She was hiding something, and she wasn't good at it.
"Are you sure?" He inquired clearly showing his concern. Even though she had already said she was ok, he wanted something that would assure him that, although he didn't know exactly what that would be.
He then saw her close her eyes, as she started to get tense and got up, walking from a side to the other. He wasn't following her, and didn't understand her behavior. Then, he stood in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders, looking into her eyes with his 'serious Yoh' expression.
"What is it?" He asked remaining calm but at the same time just a little bit demanding.
"Well..." She looked down hesitating for a moment. She was not like this at all. She never hesitated, she never looked down, she never let him ask the same thing twice without slapping him. What had happened to her? "Everything indicates that... I... We... We..."
We? What did someone else have to do with whatever she was suffering from?
"Everything indicates that we... we are..." She started to blush and then cleared her throat. "Expecting." And with that she finished her sentence and looked up at his still serious yet confused face.
"Expecting? Who's expecting what?" And then he returned to the 'stupid Yoh' trademark expression. Now her face had totally changed. She was back to her usual, not blushing anymore and with that vein almost popping out of her forehead.
"You idiot! You never understand anything!" She yelled making him let go of her and step back, puzzled and preparing for the pain. "We're pregnant, get it? We. You and me. The two of us. Having a baby."
She finished her yelling and then calmed down. He was still there, he hadn't even blinked. It was like he had frozen in the exact moment she said 'the P word'. And she wasn't sure if it was because he didn't get it or because he actually did.
"What?" She asked after a few seconds of watching him completely blank. "Should I make you a graphic?"
"No." He finally spoke. And blinked. "Are you completely sure?"
"Yeah, I'm almost three months." She answered looking away and blushing just a little bit.
"I know." He nodded.
"You know? How come you know?"
"We... um... it only happened once, about three months ago." Yeah, maybe he wasn't very good at getting hints, but he sure knew where babies came from. "But... everything's ok, right?"
"How can you ask that? Do you know what this means? We're practically at war! How are we supposed to give birth to a child in the middle of this chaos? God, what were we thinking?" She brought her hands to her face in frustration, and then continued softly. "What was I thinking?"
"But... We're going to keep it, aren't we?" He asked like a child would ask if they could have a dog. She looked very upset at the fact that he didn't seem to be taking it seriously, while she was the only one thinking of the problem.
"Of course we're keeping it. Him. Let's not call him 'it'. My child is not an object." She said with her usual demanding tone. "We have to take responsibility for our actions, and-" And then her tone went down. She didn't know what else to say.
And then he knew it. She was already calling him 'my child' and being strong and protective of him. At the time, 'him' was just a pronoum, now it was a reality. They didn't need to worry, having her as a mom, that kid would never have a reason to be scared of anything. Then Yoh smiled, took a step forward and held her, just like the first time. And even though she was carrying his child, she still wouldn't hug him back.
"Thank you..." He whispered in their embrace. "This is actually the happiest day of my life."
Wow, look at you now,
flowers in the window.
"But-" She started and cut her own words. She put a hand on his back, her idea of hugging him back. She was too scared to continue.
"Don't be scared. Everything's gonna be fine, I mean it."
"I'm not scared."
"You are." He said as he moved his hands to her belly, which was just a little bit bunky at the moment, smiling as happily as ever. "But that's gonna change. This is going to end sooner than expected and when we go back home, things will be great for the three of us."
It's such a lovely day,
and I'm glad you feel the same.
"Yeah... Maybe you're right." She answered after hesitating and then smiling, finally convinced. "I think this is the happiest day of my life, too."
And then she held him tight, hugging him like he always expected, as she cried on his shoulder, tears of both fear and joy.
He kept his hands on her belly, imagining the future, but he wasn't scared. He told himself he shouldn't be scared about things that hadn't happened yet. He had grown up. He was still the same idiotic naïve Yoh, but he was more of a man, he had responsibilities, and strangely, he wasn't freaking out about them.
'cause to stand up, out in the crowd,
you are one in a million.
"Yoh..." She started after she had calmed down. "Aren't you scared yet?"
"I am, but, it's a good fear... I always feared this would have to happen some day... You know, being a parent and all that, but... We have each other, and things always work out when we're together." He then moved his hands and embraced her again, careful not to hold her too tight. She was carrying his child, everything was alright. What was there to worry about? Nothing else mattered more than that. Nothing. Even the SF was in a second plane. Meaningless, compared to the idea of having a family of his own, and he knew Anna felt the same, though she might not have said it.
And I love you so
let's watch the flowers grow.
"Things always work out when we're together..." She repeated his words slowly, as she got emotional yet again. "I... I love you, Yoh."
"I love you too... Both of you."
----------
After hours of walking, Yoh suddenly stopped in his tracks. Noticing his wife's intention to run to him and help him, he made a stop sign with his hand and turned to see her.
"It's alright." He smiled hardly. He was tired, after all. "I was just remembering things and... I bumped into Faust for some reason."
(A/N: He found him in his memories unexpectedly, you know what I mean... Yeah, I know, my dialogues are weird...)
She looked down. Their good friend Faust had left the world shortly after that, and they had never talked about it properly.
He had been one of the first ones to leave, and though Yoh knew each one of them had their own reasons to abandon their 'cause', he wondered almost on a daily basis if he should have done the same.
Maybe if he was a selfish person, or the moron he was taken for, he would. He could have left everything he had fought for and retire to be a normal guy with a normal life, thus letting everyone else deal with his problems. But no, he was not that kind of guy. No matter how inmature, lazy, and childish he was, he would always take responsability for the things he had to assume. It was his war and nobody else's, he didn't even want Anna to come along, but she did anyway. She always did.
"Yoh?" Speaking of the queen, said person's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Do you, by chance expect us to walk all the way home?"
"No. We need to find some transportation." He answered like the most natural thing in the world and kept on walking just like that.
"We don't even have money." She stated firmly, walking up to him until they were side by side.
"You don't need money for everything, honey." He answered her smiling and leaving her two steps behind again. He could feel the stare in the back of his head, although she hadn't said anything. If she did, he would respond, they would have an amusing discussion, she would slap him, he would complain, they would go quiet and then a couple hours later, they would go back to normal.
It was always the same with them, but he never got bored. They had been like that ever since they met about 12 years ago...
Twelve years... Sometimes it looked like a whole century, sometimes like one year, but one thing was sure: he would never grow tired of having her around. She was beautiful, strong, smart, determined, and sometimes even amusing. No matter how many people he met, how many friends he had, how many fights he won, being around her was the only thing that made him feel complete.
Yoh smiled. Now he was complete, and yet, he felt like there were so many things left to accomplish. With time, he had learned that you could never say you fulfilled your dreams and you would just lay back. No, actually, every time a dream came true, another dream came with it. And now his current dream was to meet his son, tell him a long, long story and get prepared to be the good father he hadn't been in all the past years. And to think that, back then, when Hana wasn't even born, Yoh thought he had everything under control...
----------
Three more months had passed since Yoh had found out he was going to have a child. He was already prepared psychologically and emotionally for what was about to come, he was still scared, but controlled. At that moment, everyone knew what was going on. It was obvious, maybe two and a half months of pregnancy weren't so easy to see, but six, well, that was a different story. Yet no one wanted to talk about it, for it made Yoh uncomfortable, and because it was only his and Anna's business.
But as days went by, Yoh slowly started to lose his full-time optimism. He knew in his heart that one day, his life would go back to 'normal'. But when, exactly? How long could he wait? How long could she wait? How long would their still unborn child wait? He was sure he didn't want their baby to be born in the middle of that chaos they were going through. How could they take care of a kid if they were practically at war? Sure, at the beginning it seemed easy, but then there were only three months left until they had to receive their little unplanned but adored bundle of joy, and when the moment came, what the hell were they supposed to do? They had to feed him, cloth him, educate him, play with him, protect him and lots of other things, and they couldn't do any of that if they had a constant threat over them. What if Hao tried to hurt him, or take him to manipulate them, or God knows what? He couldn't allow himself to take that risk, no matter how much of a positive person he was.
Yoh had made his mind. He was going to win, he knew he was, but he wasn't going to let his beloved ones have to share the pain of the process with him. He had made a decision, and even though she had refused and protested, he finally convinced her it was for the best.
"Is everything ready?" Yoh asked his wife with a serious expression, standing in front of her as she held a bag with a few things she would take for the trip home in one hand, and the Futsu no mitama in the other, which she had strongly refused to take, for she considered he was overacting, and he would regret it later. But again, he had convinced her, that just in case, it would be better if she had it.
She nodded, looking down, her hair covering her face and possibly her tears. She was furious, and at the same time terribly sad; he could tell by the way she was shaking. Tamao and Ryu stood behind her, ready to go as well. They had agreed to stay with Anna to help her with the house and the baby in case he was born before Yoh could go back as well. He had promised he would do what he could to go back as soon as possible, but there were only three months left, so he wasn't so sure.
Again, he was facing the same problem he had every time they had to go separate ways. He didn't know how to say goodbye, he didn't want to, he knew he would probably cry if he did, but he had to. She was still there, head down in silence, probably cursing him for taking his decision instead of listening to her, and at the same time, feeling miserable and alone. He didn't want her to feel miserable and alone, he wanted to make her happy, but what else could he do? How could he make her feel better if he felt miserable?
"Well..." He started not so sure, but he filled himself with courage to let her - them go and pretend it didn't hurt him. He had to be strong and even a little cold, or else he could never save the ones he loved the most, and he would never forgive himself. "I guess you can go now."
His tone was strangely cold when he spoke, he didn't want to keep her there, no matter how lost he felt without her. Even if he died, he just wanted to make sure both she and their child were ok, and then he would die in peace, although... he hoped that would never happen.
She finally looked up, straight at his eyes, and without even saying a thing, she turned around to start walking in the opposite direction from him. Tamao took a bow and Ryu gave him a thumb up to cheer him up a little before doing the same, but Yoh wasn't really paying attention to them. He was lost in a dark see of sadness, impotence, confusion and... yes, fear.
Before she had turned around to leave him, in that brief second when her eyes met his, he had seen her hate and her fear. Her hate, though, was not against him, not against herself either, it was against the whole situation. If only things had happened at a different time, or in a different situation, it would have been a lot easier.
He felt guilty. They were not in the situation where people would usually think 'Yes, this is just the right time to start having kids'. They didn't really think of having one, and at the time he didn't know what the hell they were thinking, actually. He felt that it was his fault, that he should have never...
No. He didn't really regret it. He already loved their unborn child. He adored that little bundle of love that made Anna want to eat oranges every day, and he was more than happy to give them to her. Yoh smiled. He was filled with hope and energy again, like when the clouds suddenly disappear after the rain and the sun comes out. He was Asakura Yoh, he couldn't lose his hope, he just couldn't. He lived to make her happy, and he had more reasons to smile than to cry about.
"Wait!" He called out to the figures that were walking away from him, causing two of them to turn around, while the other, the one that really mattered, just stopped and stood there. He walked up to her as Ryu gestured Tamao to follow him and leave them alone for a minute.
Then she turned around to face him one more time, her cold mask somehow unable to cover the sadness in her eyes, and there he was, looking back at her, with a stupid smile on his face. Wasn't he acting all cold just a minute ago?
There is no reason to feel bad,
but there are many seasons to feel glad, sad, mad…
"It's gonna be ok." He told her all Yoh-ish. Her expression changed to an angry one. She definitely didn't like him changing topics and opinions from one second to the next. It was frustrating to her, he had seen. "I mean it. When I go back home, you'll be there already, so when we meet again, everything will be easier. This will work out."
And then he held her hands in his and kept on smiling childishly. She looked a little bored by his same old same speech, so she sighed and tried to get her hands back. Apparently she was still reluctant to talk, so he held her hands a little bit tighter and took one step closer to her.
It's just a bunch of feelings that we have to hold,
but I am here to help you with the load.
"I mean it." He spoke sincerely. "I know right now it looks all messed up, but when all of this ends, you'll see how happy we'll all be, we'll even forget how much pain we went through. This is gonna be ok."
Her eyes started to fill with tears again, so she looked down one more time. "Fine." She said almost as a whisper. He let go of her hands and hugged her carefully, for he didn't intend to squeeze the baby out of her.
"Come on, don't feel bad. This is not goodbye."
And that was probably the only way he could say that word without giving it a meaning...
----------
Just like Yoh had assured, they had found transportation that would take them to their destiny. It was a wonderful night, nothing could go wrong. He smiled as he contemplated the stars and realized how cool it felt to know that while he just did that, he was at the same time being taken to the place he wanted. Home. It felt so surreal. To think that he had longed to return home for so many years that he had already forgotten many things about it... Now he was going to return. Finally! They were just a few hours away from it, but that didn't really matter much. The most important thing was that he was finally going to be able to see his son in person, in front of him, to hear his voice, to watch his moves, to live with him...
He was excited but nervous at the same time. What if Hana didn't accept him? What if he didn't like him? What if he never saw him as a father figure? What if he hated him for leaving him during so many years? What if he failed and his life stopped having any meaning? He couldn't just live like that. He would die alone and sad and would never rest in peace. But... what if it was the other way around? What if he did accept him, and learned to like him with time? He didn't know, but he was dying to. Yoh knew that, no matter what was the opinion his son had about him, he would do his best to improve it, because, after all, he loved him. He didn't care if he hadn't met him, he treasured every memory he had about the whole pregnancy and...
Then, almost mechanically he got something out of the (bag?) he carried with him and stared at it. An old, yellowish picture was being held and observed by the brunette as he smiled. It was the only tangible memory he had of his child, a six year-old picture which he looked at every day since it was brought to him, and this day was not the exception. The only thing that was truly different about this day was the fact he could practically feel the moment when that picture wasn't his most beloved belonging, but, that person himself.
(A/N: I don't know the name of that thing Yoh is carrying at the end of Funbari no Uta, so I called it bag, but you can just insert the right name in your imagination n.nU)
----------
'Where am I?' Yoh asked himself mentally as he woke up to another endless, painful and meaningless day. He had fought so much, he had lost so many times, he was so tired, that instead of seeing every day as a new opportunity, it was just another reason to want to give up and just let happen whatever was going to happen. He slowly got up from the spot he was at, and he looked around. As usual, there was nothing. He didn't know where he was, or where he was going, he didn't even know if he had been walking in circles all along. He was tired and injured, both physically and mentally. He took a deep breath before collapsing on the floor again. He couldn't remember when had he fallen asleep, so it was probable he had just fainted again. Bringing his knees to his chest like a little child, he started crying his heart out.
He had had it, he couldn't take it anymore. They had left, all of them, they just left him, alone and powerless. All of them, except for Amidamaru, his most loyal spirit friend. He was the one who would always cheer him up and give him the strength he needed, by reminding him the things that were more important to him. Although right then, not even he could do anything about it. Yoh was, in one word, broken, and he would need a miracle to get fixed again.
"Yoh-dono..." He din't even know what to say next. What was he supposed to add then? It always worked before, he would remind him why he had to go through all that, he would make him picture a beautiful future, and then Yoh would just smile again.
But right then, it seemed impossible to cheer him up. Again, he was broken. He was shattered and destroyed. Every day, he would fight until his body wouldn't respond, and until his mind was a senseless mess. He was dead tired, he didn't have any hope in himself, and he had almost been convinced that he would never make it. So what could his friend say to him? What could possibly bring him any kind of hope, or at least an excuse to smile a little? Just one thing. "What would Anna-dono say if she saw you like this?"
Yoh's flow of sorrow suddenly stopped as he heard his wife's name. It had been a long while since the day she had left him to protect herself and their unborn baby. He couldn't tell how long it had been, since he had already lost the sense of time, but he knew it had been so long that he was already going crazy without her around.
"Yeah..." He stopped for a moment to dry his tears. "If she was here, she'd be beating me up for sure."
He laughed shyly and awkwardly. He was still sad, but he never thought he would need a slap so badly. And like a chain reaction, he started to connect the thoughts to the last memory he had of his family. His kid... He hadn't seen him yet. He had felt his little kicks inside of his mother's belly when he touched it, he had seen how much it had grown day by day, he had obeyed when she asked him for specifical meals claiming that the baby wanted them, even if they were at war... but he had never seen him. He didn't even know if he was born already, for he had no idea of what day it was or how long had been since the last time he had seen her walk away from him.
"Yoh-dono." He was taken out from his thoughts by his friend's voice. "Someone's coming."
He looked into the direction the ghost was looking at, and he could actually divise a blurry figure coming towards them. He got up as fast as he could, pulling out his sword, although he was so damn tired that he didn't think he had any chance of winning. And then, a few seconds later, the figure became quite clear. He slowly put down his sword as he blinked twice to make sure his mind wasn't tricking him. Probably it was. He was going crazy, that was for sure.
"There you are." Anna said when she was just about two meters away from him, with such naturality that one would think she had been right around the corner two minutes ago. "What's the sword for?"
"Uh... I... I..." He stammered, gulped and then put the sword back in its place. "Um, hi."
Amidamaru sighed. No matter how many years they had together, not even the fact that they had a child in common, they would always dissimulate their excitement about seeing each other. But, it was one of the things that made their relationship so special. He smiled and decided to disappear, leaving them alone for a while.
"So... Long time no see, huh?" He told her, never taking his eyes away from her. Her pregnant belly was gone, her hair was a little longer, and she was carrying a little bag. It had certainly been a long time, but she was still beautiful in his eyes.
She just nodded as she came a few steps closer, preparing to speak. But before she could, he spoke, this time his eyes focused on her now flat stomach. "How is he or she doing?"
"Oh..." His question seemed to take her by surprise. "He is doing just fine."
Yoh inmediately noticed the change of her expression, as her face seemed to light up when she said that sentence. If she was trying to hide her feelings for their son, well, she was just plain bad at it. If she was not, well, great. He, on the other hand, was jumping of joy on the inside. Since Faust had died and they didn't have the proper equipment, they couldn't really know anything about the baby. They didn't know the gender, or his health state. They called him 'he' to just use a pronoum instead of 'it', but they knew they would have to wait until his arrival to know those things. So when he knew it was a boy, and he was doing 'just fine', he couldn't ask for anything else in his life at that moment.
"Great." He smiled widely, hesitating for a while, and then decided to just go ahead and hug her. Hug her like he had longed to do for so long... He didn't care why she was there, she was fine and so was their son, and that was all he ever wanted.
"Yoh..." She said after a few seconds, making him break the embrace and look at her after apologizing quickly. She took a good look at him from head to toe and then finally got something out of her mysterious bag.
Clothes.
"Uh... what's that?" He asked the obvious, though he already knew the answer.
"Just like I guessed, your clothes are all dirty and messy. That's why I brought you these." She said as she put the clothes in front of him, like a vendor from a boutique would. "Yeah, I think this will fit."
He couldn't help to laugh a little. She hadn't changed at all, Her attitude towards him wasn't different although they hadn't seen each other in a while. No matter how much time passed, Anna always had the power to make his day brighter, just by being herself. Ah, it felt so strange to know that she was a mother then, and he... he was a father, even though he didn't know his child.
"So... how old is he right now?"
"He is nine months, Yoh." She answered taken back by his question, but then again, he had probably lost the sense of time.
"Nine months?!" Surprise and then sadness took over him. He had missed nine months of his son's life plus the last three months of pregnancy. That sum made... a year. He hadn't seen her in a whole year, and the fact that she had appeared at that exact moment, well, it didn't seem like a coincidence.
"Yeah. Look." She put the clothes back in the bag and got a picture out of it, which she showed to him. "This was taken a month ago."
Wow, look at you now,
flowers in the window.
Yoh went like catatonic while contemplating that picture. In it was portrayed a visibly tired but smiling Anna holding in her arms a beautiful, healthy baby with a sleepy expression. The two of them so alike, both so blonde and their skin so white...
He felt like his heart, his breath, the time, the world itself, stopped in the moment his eyes met that image. An image that represented everything to him. He knew it was just a picture, but it meant much more than any other possession he ever had. It was the closest he could be to his child, the one he loved and cherished from afar.
"How... did... you decide to call him?" He asked after he came out of his trance, although his sight was not off the picture yet. They hadn't had much spare time to talk about things such as the baby's name, so when she left, that was still undecided.
"Oh, I called him Hana."
"You called him Hana?" He asked finally looking at her, a nervous tic on one of his eyes.
"Yes, I did." She answered naturally.
"But... he's a boy." He defended his point not very aggressively, for the last thing he wanted was to start a discussion. With her. After a year of not seeing each other.
"So? Hana works for both..." She defended her own point, giving him that 'what are you implying' look.
"But... but... It means flower!" And... the discussion became unstoppable at that moment.
"So what? It's a beautiful name!"
"It's… kind of girlish."
"It's NOT!"
"Yes, it is!"
"It's not! It's a beautiful name and it fits him perfectly! Now just shut the hell up and deal with it!" As always, she had the final word. The final yell, actually. Although he still couldn't understand why in the world she chose that name, he could never win. That was his son's name.
He turned around to avoid her stare and kept on contemplating the picture. It was strange that they had only been together for 5 minutes and they had already argued. But it was not so strange for them. Fighting about anything was as natural to them as breathing.
Hana... He was so damn cute. It wasn't the fact that he was his child, but he had to admit he was the cutest kid out there. And he was their kid. He belonged to them, though he couldn't really feel him. He didn't know anything about him, except what he looked like. And hell, he looked a lot like both of them, at the same time. He had to admit it: together, they had made the most beautiful human being.
After a while of not talking nor looking at her, and focusing his whole attention on the picture, he decided to let go of his momentary anger and just let it be. Well, yeah, their baby boy would have a girl's name but... he was sure Anna had a good reason for it. Plus, he just couldn't be mad at her. He had missed her so much and felt so miserable without her that right then all he wanted was to hug her again, kiss her and cry in her arms. So he turned around to face her and went back to his natural yet tired expression.
"Anna..." He said as his eyes met hers and he noticed she wasn't mad either. "Why are you here?"
"Ah, I thought you would never ask!"
"Sorry... It's just that... I'm feeling so many different things that... I didn't know what to say first... I'm not even sure if this is a dream or not..." Yes, it was too good to be true. It definitely had to be a hallucination or a dream. He didn't know how much he had actually slept, he didn't remember when was the last time he ate and he was badly injured. So he could be easily tricked by his mind...
"Is that so?" She asked and he nodded. "In that case, could a dream do this?"
He didn't even see it coming... The Legendary Left. A while ago, he even missed that slap, but then... it was way more painful than he remembered. All he knew was he flew on air and landed on his back, his resistance insufficient to even complain.
"Yoh..." He heard her call with a calm voice, but what could he do? He couldn't even move, and his eyes were closing by themselves. "Yoh." She repeated walking closer to his seemingly lifeless body. "Yoh!"
She kneeled next to him as she watched him with frustration. "Sorry..." He managed to say.
"No, I am! Y-You should have told me, you should have warned me!" She yelled as she held his hand in hers, but he somehow managed to make a smile form in his lips.
"It's ok. I'm fine. I'm used to."
"Yoh... This is what I came for..." His smile disappeared and was replaced by a questioning face. Well, at least he could still control his facial moves. "It's been a whole year since the last time we saw each other, and... You had said it would all end soon."
He opened his mouth to say something, but she continued. "I… We have been waiting, and waiting, and since you didn't come back, I figured... you may need me. And now that I'm here, you have no excuse, so we'll just finish this and go back home with Hana."
The way she said all that made it sound so simple, that for a moment he felt confused. Maybe he wasn't trying hard enough, maybe he just needed some help, maybe he just needed her. Her sole presence to keep him calm and focused. Or that picture of Hana-chan to encourage him. Yeah, that was it. His son was his new motivation. How could he not be? He was a living person who was made out of the best of himself and the woman he loved. He existed thanks to them, and he belonged to them. He wanted to meet him, know him, raise him. He simply wanted to be a good father.
"Ok." He smiled childishly as he tried to get up again, receiving help from Anna. He thought it was funny that she only said 'to finish this and go back to Hana', and didn't mention anything about getting a luxurious and comfortable life. It was obvious she already knew what she wanted, and it didn't have anything to do with money. She had become so transparent with time... "So... Where did you get the name from?"
"Are you going to keep on with that?!" She asked clearly upset.
"No, I'm just curious. Why did you choose that name among all others?" He asked as he got back on his feet, and so did she.
"You haven't noticed yet, have you?" He blinked twice and it was all the answer she needed. She sighed and turned around to find something she could use to write. A stick and a piece of ground was all she needed to write some kanji characters and show them to him.
"It says 'Yoh' over there and 'Anna' right here." He pointed at them stating the obvious, not getting it just yet.
(A/N: I think it's actually read 'You' but I'll stick with 'Yoh')
"Right... And when you take this part, and this part, and put them together..." She separated the characters like they were some chemical formula and wrote something under all that.
"Hana..." He read out loud. How could he have missed that? It was so simple and obvious... "Hana..." He repeated, this time smiling lovingly.
"Is it clear now?"
"Yeah, it is. I get it now." He smiled wider as she erased her 'formula' by sweeping the dust with her feet. "Nothing will do us part. Not even death."
"Mm?" She looked at him questioningly.
"That's what it means. Hana is the result of our togetherness. As long as he exists, we'll never be apart. Even if I died, a part of me will always exist in him, and so will a part of you."
"I..." She blushed a little. "I think 'togetherness' is not a real word."
"Yeah... But you know what I meant."
"I just-" She tried to say something, still blushing.
"You can say what you want. I know you. I know that's what you meant."
She crossed her arms and looked to a side, still blushing a little. No matter what she tried to make up, he always saw through it. But she did it anyway, and that was what made her so cute for him. Yoh then took the picture in his hands and contemplated it again. Hana's name fit him perfectly now that he understood it. It felt so weird knowing that baby on the picture was his and Anna's child, that little human being that seemed so 'huggable', so blonde, so white, so cute.
He looked a lot like her, but like himself, too. It was strange, but it felt good. He was dying to see if he looked like them in his personality as well, so he had to return home quickly and safely.
It's such a lovely day,
and I'm glad you feel the same…
"Well... Let's get going." He spoke finally, after minutes absort in his observation. She looked at him trying to figure out what he meant, and he continued. "This is a really good day to finish things and start over, don't you agree?"
She nodded and he smiled. Now that she was there, he didn't have to worry. She wouldn't let anything happen to him, and he wouldn't have time to feel sad. Plus, everytime he would look at that picture, his hopes would be renewed.
"Come on." His smile grew wider as he extended his hand at her. She hesitated before taking it, but he seemed so insisting.
"This is the day when it will all end. I can feel it."
She had to smile at him, he always did his best to make her happy, and she knew that now he meant it more than ever. For her and Hana, he would do anything. "Ok. Let's go then."
'cause to stand up, out in the crowd,
you are one in a million.
"Amidamaru." He called out to the spirit and he appeared. "Let's go back to work."
"Not so fast." Anna stopped them, making both the young father and the ghost look back at her in confusion. "You don't look too well. Take a break."
"But-" Yoh tried to protest, but as always, he couldn't win.
"I will do the 'surveillance', you just try to eat something and get some sleep."
"But-"
"Yoh. Do you want to die just now?"
"No." He stated seriously, and a little scared.
"Then take a break. If anything happens, I'll call you."
"Ok." He smiled. She was right, he looked like hell and felt even worse. A break could do good to him, but he couldn't give himself that privilege when she wasn't around. Now it was a different story. His Anna was there for him, and she wouldn't leave without him. She wasn't going to leave him out of the picture. They were a family of three, and that was how it should be, that was why she would keep him going, even if she had to traumatize him in the process.
It was not like it disturbed him, he actually enjoyed the special way she had to show him her preoccupation and love. It was annoying sometimes, but he had missed her so much that he would even re-start training if she asked him to. Because he knew her, and she knew him, better than anyone else ever could.
And I love you so
let's watch the flowers grow.
"Are you sure you'll be fine?" He asked her before letting go of her hand to go and get some rest.
"Yes, Yoh. I can take care of myself." She answered almost annoyed at her husband's overprotection.
"Good." He said smiling happily. "By the way..."
He gently placed a hand on her back and brought her closer to him, pulling her into a long and sweet kiss. It was definitely not a dream. It felt like her and tasted like her. He found it hard to believe that just an hour earlier she wasn't even there, and he didn't expect her to. Amidamaru just turned his head and blushed. Why did he always have to witness those things if he didn't even want to? One thing was that they trusted him enough to not hide anything from him, but another thing was that they forgot about him to the point that they ignored his presence.
"I love you." Yoh said softly after breaking the kiss. "I hope you have told Hana-chan I love him too."
"I have." She answered with a small smile.
"Well, maybe today I'll tell him in person." He said excitedly. "I can't wait for him to finally meet his dad."
And with that, he left to take a break, to recover some strength and get ready for what was still to come. He had a son now, and that was his main priority. Little did he suspect that it would take other five and a half years for him to finally meet the person he had longed to be with so much... He didn't even care about anything anymore, if he was King or not couldn't matter if it didn't guarantee him what he wished for. He didn't want anything for himself, he just wanted his wife and son to be happy, but he knew that, to achieve that goal, he had to be present. They wouldn't be happy if he wasn't with them, and that made him feel way more special than any title would. And with that idea in mind, Yoh kept working hard day after day, until that moment was finally a few meters away from him...
----------
So now we're here and now it's fine,
so far away from there and there is time, time, time.
There it was. En Inn. Their home. Despite the buildings around it, it was still the same. It looked so small and insignificant between all those modern constructions, but it was still home. And more important than the place itself, was what it contained. Their most beloved treasure, their Hana, hidden and protected from any possible chance of damage.
"Here we are... Finally." Yoh spoke as happy as ever. He was sure he had never been more excited before, or more scared, indeed. He knew there was a lot to do now, but he was prepared. Six years were a lot of time, but he had a whole life to spend with his son, and he had already promised himself that he wouldn't leave him again, no matter what. Finally, everything was alright.
To plant new seeds and watch them grow,
so there'll be flowers in the window when we go...
"I told you this would be the day." He told her turning around to see her.
"You've been saying the same thing for the past six years, Yoh..."
"Yes, but this time it was for real! Are you ready?" He asked his wife still in excitement, and she nodded smiling. He looked at that picture once again, trying to imagine how that baby would look like now, and holding onto it he didn't hesitate as he walked straight to the Inn…
Wow, look at you now,
flowers in the window.
It's such a lovely day,
and I'm glad you feel the same,
'cause to stand up out in the crowd,
you are one in a million.
And I love you so
let's watch the flowers grow.
Among all the people in the world, they had found each other. Together, they had planted the seeds. Now, they were finally ready to watch them grow.
Let's watch the flowers grow...
-The End-
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Yay! It's done! Oh, I'm so glad I finally finished... This fic was a joy to write for me, and I think I got what I wanted. You know, Funbari no uta is kind of depressing, it's really sad... So I thought about making it a little brighter, with a happy song (oh by the way, it's country o.O I'm not much into country but Travis makes good music hehe) and Yoh's perspective. Although it wasn't POV, I think it had his perspective. He always has to look for the bright side of things to survive, if he doesn't he would just crumble down and break. So I thought he should have kept a happy attitude during most of those years, with its few downs of course.
I didn't feel like writing a plot, or a filler. I just wanted to express some of the feelings that Yoh may have had. If the rumor about a Shaman King continuation or at least a new story that will serve as such is true, then I may write a real fic with a plot. That is, if it's not a depressing continuation T.T Anyway, if you read the whole fic, a thousand thank yous! n.n Please tell me what you thought of it, whatever you thought of it, by leaving a review.
Also, if you have any questions, if there's any part that wasn't clear enough, if I expressed myself with weird dialogues that no one but my inner mind understood, ask me! I'll be happy to clear any of your doubts, and make efforts to be clearer in the upcoming fic(s?).
Well, I'd like to thank whoever is reading this, thank you thank you thank you for reading through such a long fic! I know it's not something anyone likes to do xD I'd also like to thank my FF friend Smart Angel for all the philosophical, ethical, historical and moral discussions and speculations we shared about Funbari no uta through the whole realization of this fic (and the ones we still share) XDDD, which were very helpful )
Well, with that, I say goodbye. Again, thanks for reading this fic, I'll wait for your review(s) n.n
P.S: Yes, Hana IS Yoh's son!
See ya soon, bye!