A.N: Sequel my other one shot 'Dreaming Dreams with Happy Endings' - so I'd give that a wee read first.
Beth watches as Daryl sits on the end of the bed and tenderly wraps the little girl in his arms, looking down at her in quiet wonder.
"You're gonna spoil her." Beth smiles. In the week since their daughter's birth, Daryl has barely let the child out of his sight.
"Don't care." He murmurs, rocking the baby gently. "She still needs a name."
"You mean you don't like Lil Dixon?" Beth teases and crawls down the bed to rest her chin on his shoulder. He casts a sidelong glance at her with narrowed eyes. It had been Carl who'd taken to calling her that, claiming she had to be 'Lil something' and 'Asskicker' was taken.
Beth turns her gaze to the baby. "I like Eleanor." She grins down at her daughter. Daryl turns to look properly at her then. Beth tilts her head and looks at him, "I know it's maybe a little old fashioned but...little Ellie Dixon has a nice ring to it, don't you think?"
"Eleanor Ann." He chews his lip and nods. "For your momma."
Beth's breath hitches slightly at that and she meets his steady gaze with overbright eyes.
"Our lil Dixon girl." She reaches up to brush the hair out of his eyes and press a kiss to his cheek.
The group decide to stay in that boarding house for the winter. They dig pits and build makeshift fences and fortify it the best they can. Long term it's not ideal but to ride out the season with a newborn it's the closest to a haven Beth thinks they'll ever find.
Beth falls into mothering the same way she did with Judy, and Daryl is proved wrong in his thinking that he couldn't love her more than he already did.
A change comes over Daryl that he feels all the way in his bones. He knows he'll go to the ends of the Earth for this child, do whatever necessary to keep her safe. He finally understands what Rick would do for Carl, for Judith, because he would do the same for Ellie.
There's less struggle than they thought there would be. Beth can feed Ellie and there's no need to go on runs far out for formula. They eat what they catch in the snares and what they can scavenge from anywhere nearby.
Daryl is bone tired and soaked through after several hours on watch. He wants nothing more than to curl himself around Beth and steal some of her heat under the blankets for a few hours before dawn when he and Michonne have agreed to go and check the snares. He stops short at the sight of her pacing their small room with Ellie nestled to her chest.
He'd seen Beth walking the halls of the prison singing to Judith, but the sight of her here, holding their baby, knowing that for the time being that both his girls are safe and warm, he can do nothing but stare.
She has that effect on him when she sings. He remembers the funeral home and coming upon her singing softly by the piano. Even now he's captivated by her ability to find enough light inside her to sing in a world where songs don't belong anymore.
Beth notes his entrance and keeps her eyes on him as she paces, singing some old country number, her voice eventually dropping to a whisper as she eases Ellie into her little cardboard crib.
She'd asked him once if her singing annoyed him and he'd avoided answering with a joke. He never has told her that her singing fills him with a strange sort of peace that even he can't describe. Because if Beth is singing, then Beth is happy. And that's all Daryl really needs.
"You gonna just stand there and freeze?" Beth tilts her head and regards him with a warm smile. He shrugs, waiting for her to come to him. And she does.
Even after all this time, he still hasn't really gotten used to being cared for. But he lets her help him out of his wet clothes and into something dry, let's her pull him under the blankets, let's her plant a kiss on his forehead. Because Daryl is happy too.
They decide they need to move on from the boarding house when the weather starts turning warmer and walkers stumble more frequently across their little home. Travelling on the road with a baby that's only months old and a small child isn't ideal but Rick believes they can find somewhere again. They all have to believe it because they don't know how else to go on.
In the end they decide to keep heading north towards DC, because Eugene may have lied about a cure but Abraham had talked sense when trying to convince them that if anywhere survived, it'd be Washington.
Beth is teaching Judith how to read and write every day - she guesses Judith's around three years old now and figures why not? They draw letters in the dirt and count with pebbles, all the while keeping Ellie close to her chest in a sling. She thinks that if the world was different she could have been a teacher.
Progress on the road is slow and repetitive.
Beth draws a hand across her brow and heaves a sigh. A few moments later Daryl nudges her with a bottle of water.
"You alright?" He asks. She nods and takes the water. Ellie starts to fuss in her sling and Beth drops a soothing kiss to her head.
"Mama's here." She whispers. She's taken to saying it so much that Daryl had teased it had become her catchphrase. She had swatted his arm and ignored him.
"Give her here." Daryl swings his crossbow over his other shoulder and holds his hands out. Beth unwraps Ellie carefully and delivers her to Daryl's waiting hands.
"That's it, sweetheart. You let me show Mama how it's done." He throws a smirk Beth's way as the baby quiets immediately.
"Daddy's Lil Princess, right enough." Beth rolls her eyes and takes a gulp of water. "She's getting to look like Maggie, I think."
"Nah." Daryl squints down at the baby. "That's all you."
Ellie starts to fuss again and Daryl sighs. "Got Maggie's sass though, I'll give ye that."
The tell tale rattling breath of a walker reaches their ears and they both turn at the sound of the single walker stumbling out of the tree line.
"Shit." Daryl mutters. The others are a little way ahead of them but long gone are the days when a single walker is cause for panic out on the road. As are the days when Beth would have admonished him for swearing in front of a baby - it was just his way.
"You got it?" Daryl asks, shifting Ellie in case he has to pass her back to Beth and raise his crossbow.
"I got it." Beth assures him, unsheathing the knife at her hip and striding towards the walker. When she reaches it, she aims a kick at its stomach and it falls on its back. It would have driven the wind out of a human but this isn't a human. Pressing her knee to its chest, Beth sinks her blade into its skull and puts the walker down with a grunt, her teeth bared. All the while Daryl watches with pride, thinking of the skinny girl he first met who trembled at the sight of a walker, now here she was a warrior and a mother.
As Beth climbs up the embankment back to the road there is a whistle up ahead - it's Glenn checking they're okay. Daryl raises a hand to signal they are then offers it to Beth. She grips it tight and he helps haul her back onto the road, Ellie secure in his other arm.
A few miles up the road they come across a country club. Beth reaches for Daryl's hand and he can't help the quirk of his lips at her excited grin.
They decide to camp there for the night after finding some stock in the restaurant kitchen. When everyone is asleep, Daryl is shaken awake. His eyes snap open immediately to find Beth close to his face, eyes wide and full of mischief.
"Think they've got any booze?" She whispers and he can't help but snort.
"Only one way t'find out." He grumbles and eases himself to his feet, grabbing his crossbow. Beth follows, looking back to make sure Ellie still sleeps soundly in the nest of blankets they've made up for her between Beth and Maggie's bed rolls.
They tiptoe in silence through the halls of the country club, already cleared of walkers from before. There hadn't been many - no where near as infested as the club Daryl and Beth had found themselves in a lifetime ago. She remembers it clearly as she follows in Daryl's footsteps now. How far they had come since then.
The bar is significantly better stocked than the other club too. The shelves are dusty and Daryl pulls his torch from his pocket to inspect them.
She isn't planning on drinking anything; being on the road and taking care of Ellie has ensured they haven't spent much time alone, and that's all she wants right now. Time for her and Daryl that's all theirs - even if it is on a hunt to find booze she won't even drink.
"Should take the vodka at least." Daryl notices Beth's raised eyebrow and continues, "for antiseptic." She nods and slips behind the bar to grab the bottle. Her eyes catch something else and she grins. Holding up a bottle of peach schnapps she can't help but giggle.
"Never did get to try it." She says, looking down at the bottle in her hand.
"Go ahead," Daryl nods. She watches him carefully and her smile fades.
"What?"
"Nothing I...I guess I must be around twenty one now..." She's almost whispering. There's a niggle in the back of his mind (a niggle sounding suspiciously like Merle) that suddenly reminds him that he's closer to forty now than twenty one. He swallows, eyes drifting to the bottles of whiskey behind the bar, almost jumps when Beth places the bottle of peach schnapps down with perhaps a little more force than necessary.
"Let's get back." She says and when he meets her gaze, there's not a trace of the sadness that was there a few minutes before. She grabs the bottle of vodka and heads towards the door.
"It's shit anyway." Daryl mutters as they head back to where everyone sleeps. Beth snorts at that and takes his hand.
Everything is as they left it and Beth looks towards Ellie, making sure the little girl is still asleep, before sinking to the floor where Daryl has made his bed. He had taken the spot by the door, volunteering to take watch in the few hours before dawn and relieve Glenn. Beth props herself up against the wall and pats the spot next to her to signal Daryl. He joins her on the floor and she pulls his blanket up to cover them, curling herself into his chest and breathing out a sigh of contentment. Daryl props his chin atop her head and closes his eyes.
"I love you." She whispers and he presses a kiss into her hair.
"I don't remember Judith being such a handful." Carl snorts but his laugh is silenced by a glare shot his way by Beth. She is rocking Ellie, trying to soothe her as the child wails. There isn't a lot of concern from the rest of the group about the noise; they're holed up in a basement and there's a storm raging outside.
"Lil Asskicker ain't a Dixon." Daryl commented, running a hand across Ellie's back as she whimpers against Beth's shoulder. "And Dixons can holler plenty." Beth meets his eyes and he quirks his lips.
"And I seem to remember Judy hollering plenty when she was teething too." Beth tells Carl. Judith is sound asleep, nestled against her father's side and Beth smiles fondly at the sleeping child - she'd gotten so big. Rick catches her eye and nods.
When day breaks and the storm breaks with it, a man called Aaron reveals himself and tells them of a sanctuary.
Alexandria is everything they could have asked for.
It takes time for them to adjust; living in houses rather than scoping them out and boarding them up, not hunting for food and picking empty houses clean. Daryl finds himself standing in a sitting room - an honest to god sitting room with a coffee table and pictures on the wall and curtains framing the window. Beth comes up behind him and wraps her arms around his middle, pressing a kiss to the spot on his vest between the stitched on wings.
"You don't have to look so worried." Beth tells him quietly. He sighs, ready to tell her she's wrong. They've let their guard down too many times in the past and Alexandria seems too good to be true. Just like the farm, just like the prison, just like that damn funeral home. He's ready to argue with her when his attention is drawn to the street outside, to the delighted laughter of a small group of children playing. It's a sight he hasn't seen since the prison, and a sight he'd convinced himself he wouldn't see again. Without realising he takes a step towards the window and out of Beth's arms.
She watches him patiently.
"We have to believe in this place, Daryl. We have to. For Ellie's sake."
He turns to face her at that.
"Y' can't ask me to let my guard down." Daryl meets Beth's gaze with such intensity that it makes her heart stutter. "Ain't nothin' gonna stop me from keepin' you both safe."
Beth steps closer to him and places a gentle hand on his arm.
"And I'm not asking you to." She curls her fingers tighter into the sleeve of his jacket. "Just...believe that this can be somewhere good. Please."
Alexandria is everything they could have asked for, and Daryl hates it.
He tries, really for Beth's sake more than his. But something has being gnawing at his insides for weeks and it's only when he sees Beth chatting with young and handsome Spencer Munroe in the distance when he's walking the wall, that he identifies what it is.
He's not been happy here in Alexandria because out in the world it makes sense for him to be with Beth. He feels right when he's with her. But here, he notices people stare, wondering why a girl like that would settle for a man like him. She's taken on teaching at the school and has become popular in the community. Daryl, on the other hand, still looks too wild and dangerous and out of place. Daryl sees them look at him and Beth together, look at Ellie, and imagines them thinking the worst of him - saddling a girl with a baby in this harsh world because he couldn't keep it in his pants.
He doesn't belong with Beth in a town like this with their picket fences and houses and everyday life. It's too much like before the turn and in that world Beth would have been told to cross the street to avoid men like him.
Beth can tell something is different when he comes home from patrolling the parameter. His shoulders are tense and he barely looks at her the whole evening.
She tries to keep her chat light as she fixes them dinner, tells him about how the kids are doing in her lessons, tells him she's wanting to trim his hair.
"Fine." Is all he says and she attempts a joke about it getting in his eyes when he's trying to shoot straight but he doesn't crack a smile. Doesn't even look up from his plate.
He plays with Ellie on the floor when she reaches out for him and smiles but she knows he's distracted and when she takes the little girl to put her to bed, he's out the back door immediately to have a cigarette.
Beth's cleaning up toys when he comes back in.
"You wanna tell me what's going on with you?" Beth raises an eyebrow and straightens up.
"Nothin'" He snaps.
He doesn't know how to tell her without sounding like a child. What is he supposed to say? He got jealous of some kid with a crush? They're better than that - he's better than that - but this place has been messing with his head. He glances around the room, details like the pattern of the wallpaper and the material of the curtains jumping out at him bizarrely.
Too clean, too perfect.
There is a flash of anger in Beth's eyes and she places her hands on her hips.
"Don't lie to me." She frowns.
"I said it was nothin'!" His hands twitch, itching for another cigarette. He doesn't know why he's getting so pissed off but can't help it. He starts to pace.
"Be quiet!" She hisses at him, closing the door of their little sitting room and rounding on him.
"What? Worried I'll wake the neighbours?" He scoffs. It's so utterly domestic that he feels like he's suffocating. He paces the small room like a caged animal as Beth's face turns almost murderous.
"You're gonna wake your daughter."
He comes to an abrupt stop at that, the muscle in his jaw working. It hits him painfully, taking him by surprise.
He remembers lying awake and listening to his parents argue, he remembers the neighbours shooting him glances the next day, noticing his running nose from tears shed and the fresh bruises he'd tried to cover with his oversized shirt. He remembers his daddy getting wound so tight he'd strike out. First at is momma, then at Merle, and when Merle was gone it was Daryl's turn.
He turns away from Beth suddenly, faced with the corner of the room and he can feel his chest seizing up.
"Now are you gonna tell me what's got you so wound up?" Beth still sounds angry, unaware of Daryl's shift in mood.
The patterned wallpaper, the picket fences, the god damned curtains - it's all too domestic and his thoughts about where he and Beth might have fit together in the old world (in a world that needed wallpaper and picket fences and curtains) feel like they're pressing in from all sides. A world where he could easily have become his father - a fear that hasn't plagued him for years.
His silence has Beth concerned. Her frown smoothes to a look of confusion and she takes a few steps towards him, placing a hand gently on his back. He jumps under her touch and her heart jerks uncomfortably.
"Daryl..." she says, her voice low. When he doesn't respond she tries again. "Daryl, talk to me. Please."
It's been a long time since he's shut her out, but then it's also been a long time since he's felt like this.
There's something about Beth that makes him let go of the darkness. She'd helped him burn away his demons in a fire fuelled by moonshine and now she does it every day with every look and touch she sends his way.
He's still never told her everything that's happened to him. She's figured out enough from the little he has said and the scars that mark his body. He's never had the words and she's never wanted to hear them because she knows he's done everything he can to put it behind him. Part of him is glad, but there's another part of him that wishes he could tell her everything and have her burn away that darkness still left inside him.
You have to put it away or it kills you.
He turns and without warning, pulls her roughly into his arms. She lets out a surprised gasp as he tightens his hold, like he's afraid she'll disappear if he lets go.
"What happened?" Beth whispers against his shoulder, gripping him back.
"M' sorry." He rasps into her hair. She pulls back to study his face, frowning ever so slightly.
"I know you haven't been happy."
He wants to tell her he has been happy. Happy that they're alive and they're together, that they don't have to live in constant fear, that Ellie has somewhere she can grow up safely. He wants to tell her, but he can't. He can't because he hasn't been able to shake the fear that they're all getting too comfortable, too complacent. He's lost too much to feel like that ever again, no matter how safe they are in the moment.
"Please just...talk to me. Say something."
So he does.
He pulls her onto the couch and tells her everything. He mumbles his fears against her skin and she reassures him between gasps and he finds that all that talk about make up sex wasn't bullshit after all.
It's after when they're lying facing each other (somehow having ended up on the floor) that Beth watches him closely again.
"You should talk to Rick." She tells him, brushing the hair from his eyes.
"'N say what?" He sighs. "I got a bad feeling?" He says it as though he's mocking himself and Beth shakes her head.
She props herself up on her elbow and looks down at him. "No. You tell him you think we're lettin' our guard down. Maybe we can work something out. More fence patrols and fortification or somthin'?"
Daryl chews his lip and eventually nods.
The warm lamplight casts a golden glow across Beth's bare skin and he can't help but let his eyes wander. She watches him, a small smile tugging at her lips until he finally raises his gaze to meet hers.
"What?" She asks.
"Saw you talkin' to that Monroe kid earlier..."
Beth snorts. "He's hardly a kid, Daryl."
"Hmph."
"You jealous?" Her smile grows and she shuffles closer to him, lowering herself back to the floor to face him.
"Nah." And he realises he's not anymore. Not really. That perhaps he never was. He tugs on her elbow then and she obliges by manoeuvring on top of him, sighing at the feel of his body pressed against hers.
"You sure?" She teases. "Not even a little bit?"
"You're mine, Greene."
"And you're mine, Dixon."
She lowers her head to kiss him but stops short when there is a cry upstairs from Ellie. They breathe out a laugh and Beth's head falls forward onto his shoulder.
"Lil Miss is awake." Daryl grunts, unable to stop the smile on his face.
"I'll go." Beth sighs, sliding off him and glancing around for her shirt. It's Daryl who hands it to her as he sits up. He doesn't release it from his grip right away and she raises her gaze to meet his.
"'M sorry...'bout before." He tells her.
"I know. It's okay." Beth smiles. "I'm still givin' you that haircut though."
A.N: I had most of this written almost as soon as I'd uploaded the first one then just never got around to finishing it properly. I'm finally back in the right headspace to write Bethyl again so hopefully I can now finish all my other unfinished projects (including an AU series that I'm super excited about).
We will not discuss season 5. Ever. I kept the timeline quite vague with this one just like the first one. All you need to know is that Beth lives and that's all that matters.
Special mention to Mollie (bethgreenesgirlgang on Tumblr) for reading this over and forever being the sweetest.