PROLOGUE
My life is one complicated mess. Things are never as they seem. Of course, there have been good moments, but they are over-shadowed by the bad ones, the sad ones and the scary ones. My life is one complicated mess, and it just got more complicated. When I try to find someone to blame, I always come back to one person, the one I will never get away from, the one who is always there. That person is the one I get up with, work with and go to sleep with. That person is the one who, when I look into the mirror, stares right back at me. That person, that bringer of bad times, sad times and scary times, that person I hate with all my heart, my soul, but the one I'm stuck with for as long as I walk this world, and maybe longer, that person is me.
Typical Monday morning in Forks, WA; it's raining. Nothing new there, it's always raining, but something is different. What it is; is unknown, but something is definitely different. The room is the same; small, crammed full of books and papers, two piles of washing waiting to be taken away, the bed pushed up against the wall, the curtains drawn but letting light seep in. The reflection in the mirror is the same; pale, ordinary, nothing spectacular. The feelings and emotions are as they always are; indifferent, tired, unexcited. But the phone is ringing; the phone never rings on a Monday morning. At the other end of the phone is the opposite of this end; it's Alice. Alice; the exuberant, fun, fashionista who takes things as they come and turns them positive, is talking with emotion and enthusiasm that is unknown at this time in the morning, or at any time, in this place. Alice talks of a party, but this means nothing, parties are never held or seen here. Not anymore. It's just not appealing. The phone-line goes dead and the doorbell rings. Alice stands there, in the threshold, waiting to be invited in. When she is, she sits down and asks for tea. Tea is made, tea is drunk and tea is finished with. Stories are listened to, bag is packed and clothes are put on before work is attended with Alice.
At work, copies of files are made, tea is poured, emails are sent, phone-calls taken and meetings attended. Notes are taken, notes are typed up, notes are filed and files returned to cabinet. Lunch is not eaten, but is thrown in the bin, water is sipped then also thrown in the bin and work is done. At the end of the day; desk is tidied, necessary files are taken back and the others put away in the cabinet. Alice leaves and soon after, the car is driven back.
The car is parked, shoes removed cleaning begins. Cleaning is finished, dinner is made and not eaten and shower is taken. After shower, clothes are hung up, and bed is used, but little sleep takes place. Reading is done, nightmares occur, and then the cycle begins again.
Typical Tuesday morning in Forks, WA, it's raining.
Typical Wednesday morning in Forks, WA it's
Typical Thursday morning in Fork's WA
Typical Friday morning in Forks
Typical Saturday morning in
Typical Sunday morning
Typical Monday
Typical
Typical
Typical
It wasn't always like this, you must understand that. The days didn't always feel robotic, on an endless cycle, so predictable, so emotionless. Years ago, when actions were made carefree and consequences meant nothing, there was no cycle, there was emotion, and there was life. But that has been drained and the cycle must commence. Nothing can break the cycle, can it?