Thirty days hath September, April June and November. All the rest have thirty one except for February which has twenty eight and twenty nine each leap year.
Son Goku's diary
Okay, okay. I have finally decided to keep a diary. Today is my nineteenth birthday and Hakkai bought me a diary, so I'm going to use it. Hopefully I can keep up with it and write every day. I have decided that after this entry, my first shall real entry will be on the first of January.
'Till then, let's hope I can stay alive.
January 1
I said that I'd write in my diary today. I almost forgot, but Hakkai was kind enough to remind me. Nothing much has happened today. We fought some more demons and continued to travel west. We couldn't reach a town before nightfall, so we had to make camp. Hakkai cooked us some fish from the nearby stream. I really envy him, I wish I could cook. Maybe I'll ask him for lessons.
Yeah, I'll do that tomorrow.
January 2
I asked Hakkai for cooking lessons this morning, and he promised to teach me as soon as we reach a town. We're still in the middle of the desert and the sun is burning all my skin. Sanzo says that if Gojyo and I don't stop arguing, he'll shoot us both. I can't wait to get to a town. This heat is killing me and I'm hungry.
January 3
Still no town in sight, and we're running low on water. It seems that if we don't reach a town soon, we'll all die of thirst. We were attacked by demons again today. This time there were thirty or so of them. We still beat them, no worries. I swear, they get weaker and weaker every time we face them. I killed one with just one hit! It's getting really boring and tiresome. I wish we would reach India soon.
January 4
Sanzo got sick today. He had a temperature and he was too weak to get out of bed. Hakkai said that he'll be fine in a couple of days, but it's worrying to see Sanzo bedridden like this. I'm really scared. What if he doesn't get better? What will I do then? Sanzo is the world to me, I don't wanna lose him. I have decided that weather he likes it or not, I'm gonna sit by his bed and wait for him to get better.
January 5
I sat by Sanzo's bed all day yesterday and all night last night. I fell asleep with my head on his bed and he woke up. I don't know what exactly he was thinking, but when I woke up, he was stroking my hair. As soon as he saw me awake, however, he yelled at me, saying that he needed his privacy. Although he was yelling and hitting me with his paper fan, I could tell that he was still weak. When he tried to hit me again, I did something I had never done before. I caught his hand and stopped him from hitting me. I looked him in the eyes and told him that it hurt. He looked at me strangely then, I still don't know why he looked at me like that. Anyway, I turned to leave like he had asked me to, but before I got to the door, Sanzo called out to me. "Thank you." He said softly. When I turned to ask what he meant, he was asleep again. I decided that I would go and eat something then I'd return and sit by him again.
January 6
Sanzo finally got better. We began travelling again today. I fought with Gojyo sometimes, but my heart wasn't in it. I was thinking about something else, or more accurately some one else. Sanzo had thanked me, but what for? Why? I don't think I'll ever understand Sanzo. He's really confusing.
January 7
We found this really awesome waterfall today. It was huge! Gojyo said I should climb to the top then jump. I wonder why he wants me dead… Anyway, we sat and ate near the waterfall when something amazing happened. I had finished eating my share, and I was trying to steal Gojyo's when Sanzo gave me some of his! I was surprised but I ate it. Hakkai and Gojyo were staring at Sanzo who just informed them that he had a headache and he couldn't stand our arguing anymore. Unfortunately, this made Gojyo begin to argue with Sanzo about why I got his food and not him. The argument was quickly stopped when Sanzo shot his gun into the air.
After we had all eaten, I went to play in the waterfall. Or at least, that's what I told them. I went and sat in the cave behind the waterfall and thought about things. Sanzo was being really weird to me, ever since he was sick. Maybe he was still sick! Maybe that's why he was being so nice. I don't know, but it's scaring me. Sanzo isn't supposed to be so nice.
January 8
I got injured today in a fight with some demons. I have a big wound in my stomach and I've been told I'm not to get out of bed for a couple of days. Sanzo says we don't have a couple of days. I hope he doesn't leave me behind. But I'm just slowing them down, so maybe they should go without me. I don't want them to, but it would be better for them if they didn't have a stupid monkey making them stop at every town for food. Maybe when I get better I should eat less. That would be better, right? Then they wouldn't be so pissed at me all the time.
Yeah, I'll eat less, starting from tomorrow.
January 9
Change in plan, I'll eat less starting tomorrow. Today I was still to weak to protest them giving me food. Tomorrow I shall eat less.
January 10
Okay okay, I'll eat less tomorrow…
Today I woke up with Sanzo sitting beside my bed. I looked at him for a while before he realized that I was awake.
"I'm just making sure you don't slow us down anymore by being attacked again." He said and I grinned.
"You were worried about me?" I asked. I knew he must have been, but I also knew that he wouldn't admit it out loud.
"Hell no. If you get injured again, you'll just slow us down, dumb monkey."
"I knew it!" I exclaimed. I smiled up at Sanzo then struggled to sit up. He helped me. Putting his hand on my shoulder, he pushed me into an upright position. It hurt like hell, but I didn't tell him that, but he could probably tell because of the tears that were building up in my eyes.
We sat in silence for a while before Sanzo got bored and decided to leave. Just as he was at the door, I called after him, much like he had to me days ago. "Thank you." He nodded and left. I wonder why he had sat with me.
January 11
I finally made good on my promise not to eat so much, and now I'm starving. Sanzo smiled at me today. I had gotten really bored just sitting alone in my room and I decided to make a paper plane. I hadn't done that in a while, so I thought it might be fun. By the time I had finished, Sanzo was stood at my door. He was staring at me. I held the plane up to show him. It was the first time I had made one without his help and without error. He came into the room and took the plane. He looked it over before handing it back to me and that was when he smiled. I grinned back at him as he sat down. The smiled faded somewhat, but it was still there when he left some hours later.
I wonder what this feeling is. When he smiled at me, I felt like everything was right in the world, I felt at piece. Now all I want to do is make him smile again. It makes me feel happy.
Also, I have decided that eating less hurts. I'm really hungry, but I'm sure I'll get used to it.
January 12
Hakkai scolded me today. He said that eating less was bad for me in my current condition. He said that it could kill me. When I told him I was doing it for Sanzo, he smiled slightly and said that I shouldn't hurt myself for him.
I didn't see Sanzo today, but Hakkai said that I can get out of bed and walk around a little tomorrow.
January 13
The first thing I did when I got out of bed was go and see Sanzo. He was surprised to see me out of bed and the first thing he did was send me back. I told him that Hakkai said that I could be up and he relaxed. I don't think he knew that I could tell, but I could. When he was telling me off, he was more tense than usual. I think he was worried that I'd strain myself and not get well soon and slow them down even further. I went to bed as I was told.
I ate less again today. I don't care what Hakkai says, this is for Sanzo.
January 14
I was allowed up again today. I went to talk with Sanzo again. This time I told him that he could continue on with out me if he wanted to. I said that I was just a burden to him anyway and that he should just leave me behind.
"You'd be better off without me," I said.
Sanzo took forever to respond, and when he did it was unexpected. He laughed. An honest to god laugh. I just told him to leave me behind, and all the bastard did was laugh then leave the room. On his way out, he called me a baka. I guess I shouldn't expect them to still be here tomorrow.
January 15
When I woke up this morning, I was surprised to see Sanzo was asleep next to me. His head was on my mattress and he was sat in a chair. I mimicked his actions from when our positions were reversed and stroked his hair. It was soft and silky. I didn't stop even when I saw him open his eyes. He lay looking at me for a while and I kept stroking his hair. Only when he finally sat up did I take my hand from his hair.
"I thought you would've gone already." I said. Was he going to leave and make me watch?
"Why would I? One of my party is injured. I can't leave without him." He said looking at me.
He wasn't going to leave me behind? But I'm just a burden, right? When I said that out loud, Sanzo smiled at me again. My heart began to beat funny and I found it difficult to breathe. He told me that I wasn't a burden and that if I was, would he have spent the last six years with me?
What the hell is wrong with me? I asked Hakkai what it meant when you just want to see someone smile, when you would give all you had, just to make them happy. He told me it was love.
Am I in love with Sanzo?
January 16
I couldn't sleep last night. Every time I tried, I heard Hakkai's voice. "Sounds to me like love," Maybe he was right, maybe it was love. But, it's Sanzo… can I really be in love with Sanzo? Is it even possible to love him?
Even if I do, it doesn't matter. He doesn't love me back, I'm just a stupid monkey, a pet. And I'm a guy.
Shit this is messed up.
January 17
We were finally able to leave the town today. We continued out journey west throughout the entire day. When we finally made it to the next town, my stomach was really really sore. It hurt like hell.
Unfortunatly, there were only two rooms available. I have to sleep with Gojyo again. I'm not looking forward to this.
Maybe in the morning my stomach will feel better.
January 18
I had a nightmare last night and I moved about too much. Because of that, my stomach wound opened up again and started to bleed. I didn't know this until Hakkai told me today.
He told me that I woke up Gojyo and Gojyo smelt the blood. Apparently so did Sanzo and he came to see what was happening. He also brought along Hakkai. Hakkai healed me, but I'm not allowed to get out of bed for another day.
This sucks. I'm so fucking bored.
January 19
I got Sanzo to smile again! All I did was tell him that I was sorry for slowing them down even more. Then he smiled at me and sat down beside me.
"Would you stop saying that?" He asked, a small smile on his face. "Look, if you keep stressing yourself like that, you will never get better."
So he was worried about me? I grinned at him but said nothing. After a while he glared at me. "What?"
"Nothing." I told him, still grinning.
"Whatever." He said before leaving. Just as he was at the door, I called him back.
"I think I have to tell you something." My voice was quiet, and part of me was hoping that he wouldn't hear me, but he did.
"What?" He asked without turning around.
"I… I… I… I don't know… It-it doesn't matter." I couldn't bring myself to tell him. Why couldn't I tell him what I had just figured out? Why was it so hard for me to tell him that I love him?
"Pft." Sanzo left.
I'm so stupid.
January 20
Hakkai asked me what was wrong today. He knew that I didn't want to eat as much as usual, but he said that I was really worrying him by not eating anything at all. I was too depressed. I realized that there was no way in hell that I could ever tell Sanzo what I mean to him. I knew that he didn't feel the same way about me as I did him.
I'm an idiot to even think it for a few seconds.
January 21
OMFG, I saw something I hope I never see again. Gojyo kissed Hakkai!!!! OMFG!!! AND HAKKAI ENJOYED IT! I am scared for life! I told them to get a room and Gojyo said that I was just jealous because Sanzo wouldn't do that to me. Then I made a fatal mistake. I responded without thinking. I yelled, and I quote, "How the hell did you know about that?" They stared at me for a second and I felt my face go red. I ran from the room, passing Sanzo in the doorway.
Shit, did he hear me? Fuck fuck fuckity fuck!
January 22
Nothing much happened to me today. I locked myself in my room and refused to open the door. Gojyo said that I was acting like a spoiled teenager, then I pointed out that I am a teenager. He shut up and went away. Some time later, Sanzo knocked on my door.
"Goku, let me in." he ordered softly.
"No." I refused. The last thing I wanted right now was to talk to him.
"Look, I heard what you said. I think we should talk." He sounded grumpy and tired. Had he lost sleep over this too?
Goddamn it, why can't I learn to keep my stupid mouth shut?
"Go away." I yelled. "I don't need to hear you yelling at me right now, so leave me alone!"
"No I wont! Talk to me Goku! Open this fucking door, or I'll shoot it down." Well, I'll give him one thing, he's persistent.
"Fine." I got off my bed and walked to the door. When I opened it, Sanzo surprised me by forcing me back into the room. He kicked the door closed and pushed me back into a wall. His hand was on my chest and the other was on the wall beside my head.
"What the-" I whispered. The rest of my words were cut off as Sanzo placed his lips against mine. "mumph" I groaned in surprise. My hands moved on their own and wrapped themselves around his neck and pulled him closer. His arms moved slowly to encircle my waist. We pulled back after a while, panting for some much needed oxygen. I stared up into his purple eyes in wonder.
So that's what a kiss felt like? I'd never been kissed before, so I didn't know what to expect. It felt weird, but I liked it.
Anyway, after we broke apart, Sanzo left the room and didn't say anything. He hasn't talked to me since and I think I must've pissed him off somehow. Am I a crap kisser or something? I hope he'll talk to me tomorrow. I really don't like him being mad at me when I don't know what I've done.
January 23
Sanzo acted as if nothing happened yesterday. I think that it would be best if I did the same for a while. I'll try and talk to him about it tomorrow. Instead, I started to write a story. It's really sad, about a dream I had last night. I can't let anyone read it though, I used our names in it. I called it 'His words' and it was about Sanzo's last words as he lay dying in my arms. I can't believe that I had a dream about that. I feel really depressed now.
January 24
I talked to Sanzo last night. I tried to get him to explain his behaviour of the day before. He told me that it was because he knew that I wanted him to do it. He only did it to stop me from being so annoying. This hurt me. He didn't like me at all. He was just stopping me from locking myself in my room. I didn't say anything to him, I just turned and left, tears falling from my eyes.
I ran into Gojyo in the corridor. I completely ignored him as I ran passed. I ran straight to my room and locked the door behind me. I fell onto my bed and hugged the pillow as I cried.
Now, two hours later, I'm sitting on my bed writing in this diary. I don't want to go out there and face Sanzo. I can't believe that I actually thought that I meant something to him. Now, my heart is officially broken.
January 25
I stayed in my room all morning. Then, at about lunch time, Sanzo knocked on my door and told me that he would leave without me if I didn't get a move on and meet them outside. Twenty minutes later, the door was knocked down by a very pissed Sanzo.
"What the hell do you think you're playing at!?" He yelled. I made no response. This angered him more. "Just because you've decided to be childish, doesn't mean the mission gets put on hold! Now get a move on."
"Leave without me." I said, keeping all emotion from my voice. "I know you want to, so just do it. Its not like I can't be replaced easily." I still kept my voice flat and emotionless.
Sanzo stood staring at me for a moment before he asked, "What the hell are you going on about?"
"It's obvious that you don't want me with you." I told him. "The one time you make me think other wise, and I actually believed you, but then you told me that you just wanted to shut me up."
Sanzo took a while in responding. "You mean the kiss? Is that what this is all about?" Silently I nodded. There was a sigh, then Sanzo sat next to me. "If it makes you feel any better, I'd never done it before."
"You mean, I was your first kiss?" I asked, surprised. Sanzo nodded. "But…. Seriously?"
"Think about it baka, I grew up in a male only convent full of priests." I thought about it for a few seconds then grinned. A very Gojyo-like thought came into my head. If he'd grown up in a male only convent and never so much as kissed anybody… Is Sanzo a virgin? Is that one thing that I beat him at? The thought made me look at him more closely and I realized how sexy he looked.
Ah…hem… Perhapse I have been spending too much time with Gojyo…
Anyway, I sat stearing at him for several minutes before he scowled. "What, do I have a bug on my face or something?"
"No."
"Then quit looking at me like that." I smiled softly and looked directly into his eyes.
I then said something I probably shouldn't have. "You look hot when you blush." As soon as I said it, I clapped my hands over my mouth. Sanzo went even redder and left the room without another word. I think I'll act as if I'd never said that…. Yeah, that'd be a good idea.
January 26
We continued our journey today. Sanzo and I didn't say a word to eachother and the silence was getting thick. Hakkai is always quiet, and I didn't feel like arguing with Gojyo. When we stopped for lunch, I didn't eat anything. I wasn't hungry. So I decided to have a look around.
We had left the desert behind and were now travelling through dense bushes. The clearing in which we had stopped for lunch was the only one we had passed while in these woods.
Sighing, I found a suitable tree and climbed up it. If they were going to call me a monkey, I would act like one. I sat up the tree and watched the day go by. I could've stayed up there all day, if it were not for Sanzo climbing and sitting next to me.
"Are you talking to me now?" I asked without looking at him.
"I didn't exactly stop."
"But you haven't said a word to me since last night." I turned to look at him. He was looking directly ahead of himself and not at me.
"I didn't know how to respond to what you told me." I had never heard Sanzo say that sort of thing out loud. I simply stared at him for a moment. "Again with the staring." Sanzo said, beginning to get irritated. Sheepishly, I looked away.
"Sorry."
We sat like that for a while, silently enjoying eachothers company. Then, Sanzo began to climb down. "We should get going." He said. With a brief nod of agreement, I followed him down the tree.
I keep thinking about what he told me yesterday, about him loosing his first kiss to me. I keep wondering if he said that for a reason, maybe he was hinting something. Does he want me to make the next move? Does he even want me?
I'm so confused.
And I'm pissed off because I have to share a room with Gojyo again.
January 27
The bastard. The nerve of the fucking bastard. Gojyo read my diary, then he had a good laugh at me. I am so pissed off right now that even Sanzo is afraid to go near me now.
What's even worse, is that he gave it to Hakkai, and Hakkai spellchecked it!
Is there no such thing as privacy anymore. If this happens one more time, I'll stop writing in it.
January 28
Yesterday I made another move. I don't know if it was a good idea or not, but I went to Sanzo's room and knocked on the door. When he said I cold go in, I walked right up to him and placed my lips on his. He was real surprised and his eyes went wide before they fluttered shut. But before he could react any further, I pulled back. "You stole one from me, now I stole one from you. Now we're even." After saying that, I kissed him again. Like before, I pulled back before too long. "And now you owe me one." Without waiting for him to say anything, I left the room.
I don't know if it was a good idea or not, but I'm glad I did it.
He hasn't come down for brakefast yet… I wonder what he'll do when he sees me next. I hope I like the answer.
January 28 – additional… (Some hours later)
I did like the answer, very much so. When Sanzo got up, he came straight down for brakefast. Without so much as looking at the food, or the other people in the room, he walked straight up to me. He pulled me from the chair that I was sitting in and held me close. With one arm around my waist, holding me close, he used the other to bring my chin up so that he could place a kiss on my lips.
He didn't leave time for me to respond. He pulled back and walked away without so much as a word. Gojyo and Hakkai stared at his retreating back as I tried to catch my breath.
Sanzo had kissed me again, and this time, I think he meant it.
January 29
I talked to Sanzo yesterday after he kissed me. When we were finally alone, I asked him why he had kissed me. He said that he owed me one and now we are even. Then he kissed me again. I asked him why he did that and he smiled and said, "Because I wanted to." He then went on to say how I now owed him one. I paid him back straight away and things began to get a little heated. But before long, Sanzo stopped and pulled back.
As it turns out, I was right, Sanzo is a virgin. He didn't want to go too far all at once, so I held back.
We sat and talked for a while before Hakkai called us for dinner. After dinner, I talked with Sanzo. I asked him to be my boyfriend. I also told him that he didn't have to give me an answer straight away and that I'd be patient.
With that said, and the question asked, I went to bed.
January 30
Sanzo hasn't answered me yet, nor have I asked him for one. I'll give him as much time as he needs. I hope he'll say yes.
January 31
Those bastards read my diary again. This will be my last entry.
Hakkai left comments and Gojyo left tips… I am so sick of those two…
As I promised before, I will not write anymore entries.
A/N tee-hee-hee, if I get over 10 reviews, I will write the month of February… If I get more than 15 reviews, I will write the version of January that Hakkai and Gojyo edited….