Drinkin' 'Bout You

by Melodic Thoughts

Just another lonely night after a triad game and Kara’s all alone with several bottles of Ambrosia. What happens when she drinks until all she thinks about is Lee? Not compliant with any episode after ‘Unfinished Business’.

"Drinkin' 'Bout You"

By Melodic Thoughts

A Kara/Lee Fanfiction

Summary:Just another lonely night after a triad game and Kara's all alone with several bottles of Ambrosia. What happens when she drinks until all she thinks about is Lee? Not compliant with any episode after 'Unfinished Business'.

Disclaimer: Just borrowing the characters for a short time.

Things were finally returning to normal. Of course, in this case, normal was a relative term for frakking hell. Normal meant being in love with a man who wasn't your husband. Normal meant that he was married to someone else. Normal meant that even if you deserved him, if the history between him and yourself wasn't so frakked up, you wouldn't even be able to give him the kind of things he deserved in life – like children - because the gods damned toasters had seen fit to render you infertile. At least, you didn't have to worry about birth control anymore.

Ha – at least, right?

No. Not even tonight's triad game held the prospect of any sort of happiness for you. You knew you were going to win, you knew that you would embarrass and humiliate every last person there, and you knew that when it was all said and done you would still be as depressed as ever. So you decide, let's get this bitch over, right?

You wander on down to the mess room where a few of your fellow pilots are already waiting and plunk yourself down right in the middle of all the action. You have to keep up appearances, you know. You take a mental head count – Helo, Athena, Hotdog, Racetrack, Bulldog, and –

"Hey, Chief, whatch you doin down here?"

Galen Tyrol grins, "Cally said I could come down and play a few rounds of triad while she puts Nicky to bed."

You smile back, "Is that so? You sure she's gonna want you to come back after you've lost all your money?"

Galen chuckles, "Who says I'm gonna lose all my money?"

"What? You haven't heard – this is where the nuggets come to pay me tribute!"

Hotdog, Racetrack, and Bulldog all 'Boo!' at your remark.

"Come on, you know it's true!!" You insist and laugh a fake, bitter laugh. "Let's get started shall we?"

Hotdog throws the deck at you, bound up with a rubber band. "Go ahead and deal, Starbuck."

So you deal a round and then another and you've won both.

Galen grimaces, "So is this what you meant when I wouldn't go home with any money?"

You smile evilly, "Don't worry, it gets much worse."

Karl pokes you with his finger, "Come on, Starbuck. Give us a break, just this once?"

You shake your head, "No – nope. No mercy, at all."

Pretty soon you watch as Racetrack folds and then quits, all together. "I think I'm calling it a night."

"So soon?" You ask.

"Starbuck, you are an evil bitch."

"Don't I know it." You bark out a laugh and throw a coin at her. "Here, buy yourself a cigar."

"Frak, you." She says as she leaves. You notice that she took the coin though. Then you deal another round.

"I'm out, too." Athena says as she lays her head on Karl's shoulder. "I may be a machine, but I think this game actually whipped me."

Karl kisses her forehead. "I think we're gonna head off to bed. I've got CAP in the morning."

"Don't tell me you're all leaving me with her?" Hotdog whines.

You deal another round.

"That's it. I'm broke." Galen points out.

"And I'm not about to sit here and play with you one-on-one. See you in the morning." Hotdog drops his cards and scampers out of the room.

"Come on, Chief. One more round?" Do you actually sound like you're begging?

"Nah, I've got to work on your bird tomorrow, remember?" Then he's gone, too.

Finally. You are alone. So you walk over to a cabinet and pull out four bottles of Ambrosia. Tonight you're going to give new meaning to drinking away your sorrows.

You open a bottle, tilt your head back, and drink. Then you shake your head at the burning after taste and grimace. You've learned to like the pain.

All my life I've been telling myself
I don't need no no nobody else
I'm sitting here thinking
Sittin here drinkin bout you

You drink again. And again. And again. And then some more until you can feel the tension easing out of your shoulders. Easing out of that spot right in between where you carry the weight of the world.

I look through the mirror
And all that I see
Is one crazy lonely sucker looking back at me
I'm sitting here thinkin'
Sittin' here drinkin bout you

You look around the room and that's when the memories start to come back.

I'm just a woman on a mission
Tryin to make some decision
Oh what am I gonna do
Cause I ain't going nowhere
If I can't be some where with youboo boo boo

You and him sitting in here, with the others, playing triad. Joking. Drinking. Laughing.

Him and you flying out amongst the stars. Testing. Feeling. Letting go.

You and him in all different places, walking, sitting, playing, teasing, …kissing.

Ohh I'm just a woman on a mission
Tryin to make some decision
Oh what am I gonna do
Cause I ain't going nowhere
If I can't be some where with you
boo boo boo
I'm just sitting here thinkin
Sittin here drinkin bout you

Him and you, confessing your love – shouting it out to the stars!

You and him, beating the frak out of each other only for you to break down, again, and tell him how much you missed him, need him.

Yes I'm just sitting here thinkin
Sittin here drinkin bout you

And then he went home to his wife. You went home to your husband. Only difference is – Sammy wasn't there when you came back. You really are alone.

So you drink until you can't feel your fingers wrapped around the bottle and when that one's empty you move onto the next. Three or four bottles later you know that you're coming to the end. You breathe a sigh of relief. Thank the lords.

The room is starting to fade and you're positive that you've fallen out of you're chair. The bottle's gone, but that doesn't matter now. Who knew alcohol poisoning would feel so good? Then you lose consciousness and you don't even know that you're gone.

Then you hear a sound. Noise. It won't go away. Over and over and you can't understand any of it.

Then the sound begins to make sense – it's your name. Someone is bellowing your name. Over and over – "KARA!"

'KARA, DON'T YOU DIE ON ME!"

More time passes and the sound fades away.

Then you hear a whisper.

"Kara, if you can hear me – please don't leave me. Baby, please don't die on me."

More time passes, but you're beginning to hear other things. Clinks and clangs, more voices, but that one you can hear above the rest.

"I swear, if you come back to me, I'll make it right. I swear it."

More time passes and you think you're seeing lights. There's no way you've gone to heaven. You don't deserve to.

"Do everything you can, but if she goes – I go, too."

Then one moment you can feel something. Something where your hand should be and you hear the voice again. "Kara, I love you."

You open your eyes and look down to where your hand should be. It's dim, but you can still see something there. Then you realize two things: that is a hand in your hand and you are not dead. Your world comes tumbling down once more.

"No…no. It was supposed to be over -" Your eyes water and you feel a pain greater than any pain you've ever had except one. Coming back to this – to life – hurts more knowing that you'll have to live without Lee.

"So close, so close…" You can feel the tears spilling from your eyes and then you hear that voice again.

"Kara…?"

You look down at that hand in your hand and follow it up to the face it belongs to and you recoil, pulling your hand away. "No!"

It's Lee. Cruel lords, it is Lee.

He looks so happy – staring at you in wonder and then he realizes that you've pulled away. "Kara, it's okay. We found you that day, we found you just in time, we had your stomach pumped, it's going to be -"

And then you've found your voice. You're screaming, sobbing, shaking all at the same time. "No! No! No! It was supposed to be over – it was finally over!"

You're pulling tubes off of you, scrambling to escape when alarms go off and Lee is up trying to grab your wrists.

"Kara, it's all right. Everything is going to be all right!"

You know people have rushed in to see what's going on. There are voices shouting and pushing you back onto the bed.

"I can't do this!" You scream. "Kill me, please?!"

You collapse onto the floor with Lee standing over you, still holding your wrists, which are sore from trying to escape.

You're sobbing, but you can't hear yourself.

"Kill me, kill me, kill me…" You beg.

Then Lee is sitting on the floor in front of you while the others stand around waiting to see if you've stopped struggling.

"No one is going to kill you, Kara. Everyone here wants to see you live. I want you to live."

Moments pass and your breathing begins to slow and you look up to see who is there. You see the Commander and the President, both look at you with sad faces. You see Helo and Athena looking at you with hopeful expressions. You see Doc Cottle looking at you expectantly. You see Hotdog and Racetrack and a few more pilots. You see Dee looking at you like she wants to kill you...and you remember why you shouldn't be here.

"Why didn't you let me die?!" You cry.

Half of the people in the room looked shocked at your words, but it's Lee that pales.

"Why would you want us to do that, Kara? You're the best thing that's happened to most of us."

The moments tick away and then you steel yourself. You shove Lee away, "Go back to your wife."

Then you pull yourself up and return to your bed, pulling the curtain and shutting out all of the faces. You'll simply have to wait and try again.

Then you hear the curtain being pulled back and you practically shout, "Go AWAY."

"No, Kara. I'm not going away, ever again."

You turn and see Lee, an oddly determined look on his face.

"While you laid there, one the verge of dying I realized several things." He tells you.

"That's great. Frak off."

He sighs, "Kara, you are going to listen to me whether you want to or not."

In response you pull the sheets over your head. Why won't he just go away?

"The first thing I realized was that I only married Dee because you ripped my heart out and practically ground it to dust."

You grunt as if you don't care, but you do. This comment intrigues you.

"The second thing I realized was that I never stopped loving you, that I never will."

You lower the sheets and peek out over them. You can see the corners of his mouth tugging.

"The third thing I realized was that if I ever got the chance to make it right, to marry you instead, then I would do so without thinking twice."

Then something clicks - "You! You were the voice I heard."

"Kara, I sat by your side every second I could. You should know - Sam petitioned to have your marriage banns dissolved."

You blink. You would never divorce because of your beliefs, but if Sam had petitioned to have the marriage banns dissolved than that meant he found something that made their marriage null and void.

"He claimed that you married him under false pretenses because you were always in love with me."

You freeze. "He said what?"

"He said that throughout your entire marriage that you lied to him, that you were - that you are in love with me."

Breathe, just breathe...

"Do you love me, Kara?" Lee looks at you and you know that this is your one last chance. If you tell him no now, then you had better kill yourself in the morning.

"Kara." He asks again.

You look at him, are you ready to do this, no matter the consequences?

"Yes."

His face erupts into the widest grin you've ever seen on his face.

But you look away, "You're married, Lee."

He shakes his head. "No. Dee had our marriage banns dissolved, as well."

You scrunch your eyebrows, "Why?"

He grins again, "False pretenses."