Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

Note: Spoilers - Starts from manga chapter 183.

When Roses Fade To Black

Prologue

Staring at my cold, monotone bedroom ceiling as i lay on my bed, soothed the headache that was beginning to set in. I was glad to be back in my own, boring world. After returning from Soul Society i couldn't do anything, i felt so weak. Everyone else could wait; right now I need the rest I had duly earned and had taken the day off. What? Don't think i deserved it after what I've been through? Heh, you can go screw yourself. I'm a 15 year old boy, or had you forgot? How many kids or for that mater, even adults do you know of that vanquish soul sucking monsters from another dimension on a daily basis? What's that… none? Didn't think so. If you want to be picky i suppose there's Inoue, Chado and Ishida, but we all know they don't count… do they? I mean, I can handle cyber arms and laser bows… but pixies…? Anyway, it's not like I asked them to come with me to Soul Society or even help me out in general, but that's the way humans work I suppose. One could say I'm their inspiration to fight, but I'm not the arrogant type.

Soul Society… ah what a dump, a huge one at that. All the so called 'good guys' killing and betraying each other. It was more like Hell then any Heaven I'd want to end up in when I eventually kick the bucket. Hmm… come to think of it, I guess I'm already a gonna… hah! How about that, my chain of fate was completely eroded when I regained Shinigami powers back at Urahara's place and from what I recall that alone makes me, well… technically dead. Yes? So right now I'm in one of those Giga things? Damn, that sucks! Can I even have sex now…? What…? Hey I'm no Keigo or Mizuiro, but nor am i as innocent as you might believe. A guy has his needs and desires you know.

That being said, i still had to go, as it was part of the deal. And to become strong, you must fight the strongest. 'What about Rukia?' you say. Nah, I didn't go for her, though I could see she was pleading for me to save her a mile away as she stepped through the Senkaimon to Seireitei after kicking me while i was down. How pathetic. All it did was give me the excuse I needed. I'm not quite as dense and stubborn as i appear you see, it worked to my advantage. 'What did?' you ask. To make me whole again of course. It may sound daft to you, but I felt incomplete without 'that' part of me. I needed to be whole again and I used Rukia as a basis to which I would claim it back.

Unfortunately for me, only one person could help me achieve that goal. Yup, you got it in one; Urahara Kisuke. Damn that guy is messed up in the head. Seriously, no wonder he was banished. Helping me to get into Soul Society, relying on our merry little band to save Rukia, or should I say his precious Hougyoku? I knew he was trouble from the first time we met. It's the hat you know, it just gives off a weird vibe. I learnt to stay away from his kind long ago unless absolutely necessary. Saying that, I'm probably in some other plan of his that's been set in motion. He can always hope I suppose. Anyway, he allowed me to retrieve what was rightfully mine and for that I am grateful. But what I didn't expect was the price that came with it. You know; the extra little bundle of joy that came free with the rest of the package. I should slit his throat for not warning me in the first place, but what's done is done.

So off I went to 'save Rukia', when really my primary goal was to become stronger. Saving Rukia was fun since it pissed off Byakuya so much and i owed him for nearly killing me anyway. Shithead. That's why I tried beyond the norm, to level up in power quickly. You don't seem to understand that I haven't even scratched the surface of using sealed Zangetsu, let alone Shikai or Bankai. Surely Aizen showed you that much? I just haven't had the time like he has… say 500 years or whatever. I had to drastically advance in levels in order to possibly do anything against those such as Renji and Byakuya. That, and I just have the talent for it. Don't ask me how, it just seems to come natural to me. And now it's possible for me to train at each level. Without the will to fight, you're nothing. Though he's an enemy, you have to admire Aizen for his determination to be the best, sadly he's using a cheap method to achieve it.

Its funny you know? From the moment i became a Shinigami so many things were expected of me. Hey, i only did it to protect my family. What would you have done? Exactly, don't kid yourself. You wouldn't want your family murdered before your eyes by something completely unknown to you and not have the power to stop it. I did what had to be done. Though my father acts younger than myself most of the time, I still love him and my two sisters, of course i do. And now i will do all i can to defend them from Aizen and his army of Hollows. Even if it means working with those Shinigami asswipes once more.

Ah, he's back again, what must one do to get a minutes peace? It keeps me going though. It was fun at first, but now his attempts to take over are becoming tiresome. Don't worry; he's a funny guy once you get to know him... really he is. He just picked the wrong guy to become a Hollow for. We both act on impulse; well that's what he thinks anyway. I keep my real thoughts from him and have done ever since the beginning. Oh that's right, you were clueless to that little bit of information weren't you. Don't you think i can hear an extra voice in my head? Though he's part of me, he's still completely different and will have to either be silenced or eternally subdued. Then again, maybe we could work something out? Another me in my head could be fun to have around for comedy purposes, perhaps even come in useful. Hey, you never know.

From what I gathered the 'Hollow me' is just another variation of myself like Zangetsu. You may think me and my Zanpakuto are one and the same, and it is true that in some respects we are. But although we are connected, we are still very much apart. It's difficult to explain and best that I don't go any deeper than that for now. Suffice to say we share an eternal bond and he is an extension of me and i of him. It's the same for every Shinigami as I've gathered. What? I didn't get Shinigami 101 from anyone, so i piece together what i can. Right now my thoughts are my own and unless i want him to, he can't hear me or visa-versa. Speaking of Zangestsu, what is the deal with my 'inner world' whenever i see him, cause there's no way that's what my inner landscape would look like. Horizontal blue sky scrapers! What the hell is that all about? A nice open beach with the waves gently crashing against the rocks and the beautiful sun beating down on my face is what I'm talking about. To be without a care in the world…

Shit, he is a persistent one, I'll give him that. I can feel the darkness clouding my every thought and blinding out the light. Don't get me wrong, I don't detest or fear the darkness; it's just difficult to see when its pitch black. What...?

I'm no good guy like you seem to think you know. The middle ground is where it's at for me. My family is all that matters. I couldn't really give a crap about anything else. The world is too big to protect everyone anyway. Go watch your fantasy films where the stereotypical hero always saves the day if you don't agree. Who cares about other people's problems when you have mountains of your own to deal with? Charity begins at home as the saying goes.
I can feel the whites of my eyes being drained by the blackness. Can he not do anything else, get off my back already! Geez, is he really trying here or what? I let out a sigh in annoyance and closed my eyes; I'm going to put an end to this once and for all.

A cool but faint breeze whistled across my face. Slowly I opened my eyes and looked at the sight before me. Once again I'm back in my 'inner world'. How exciting…and with him no less. He looked at me in that creepy, crazy way he always does to try and scare me as he sat on one of the million ledges that were going. What a tool. I rolled my eyes. This is my Hollow? Give me a break. The ones that taunt you the most are nearly always the weakest. Remember how stopped him last time, i didn't even get to fight!

"Wassup… my king?" he said in his usual maniacal tone. I really had to keep my composure from tearing up. What the fuck was he talking about now? 'My King'? Christ I feel another lecture coming on. I've got a radar for these type of things and can see them coming a mile away. And always with the crack head sounding voice, I never did that stuff, honest! Is something wrong with his vocal cords, or is he high 24/7? Hey, i didn't say i was a comedian, but it keeps me as witty as ever.

"Heh, you're sure making one wimpy ass face over there" he added with a giggle. Damn this guy is genius! And he's part of me! What an embarrassment...

I tried to put on my best scowl, really I did, and looked around. Hmm, that's odd though, the Zangetsu guy isn't here. Usually he'll be floating mysteriously in the background on his pole of doom trying to look cool or babble something incoherent that you wouldn't want to hear anyway. Don't get me started on the shades and cape.

Finally I set my attention to him, "Where's the Zangetsu guy?" I asked in a flat tone after a few more seconds scanning the area filled with endless blue buildings and a cloudy sky to bout.

"Huh, he's right there with you, isn't he?" he responded. "Or maybe, he's right here with me!" As he held a white Zangetsu behind his back, swinging it around and slamming it down to the ground like he owned the place. My inner world of all things, who does he think he is? Bizarrely, I watched him lick his lips and smile from ear to ear like some freaky circus clown. Oh great, I know where this is going already. The classic, yet predictable battle for dominance inside the mind like in some crap sci-fi show… how delightful…

Still, I had to react fast. By now I've become quite the master in the art of deception. It's easy when you've had the practice. You should try it sometime.

"A white Zangetsu!" I gasped with all the surprise I could muster. What…? I'm 'Captain Obvious', remember, its what I do. Plus, it always helps to play your part well and let your enemies think they've broken your spirit with an unforeseen play. But I had to admit, the white one did look pretty cool!

Disturbing me from my thoughts as I continued to survey the mirrored Zangetsu, he continued, "I'll tell you where Zangetsu is…" as he leaped from his position and pulled the blade back for an aerial attack. I already know what he's going to say, but it doesn't matter since I'm not going to spoil his one and only moment we have together this time. In any case, I'd already decided from the minute I got back, that the next time we met; he was going to see the real me.

End Chapter Notes

Easier than expected and didn't take long at all.

Tell me what you think - Thanks!