Random oneshot alert! Sorry to everyone waiting for a TOFOSK update, but this idea just snagged my attention and I found a free moment in my life to write it, so here you are.
(This fic is dedicated to my beloved b*tch of a laptop, who allows me to write and publish these fics, but also deleted the entire, completed rough draft of a college paper that was due Monday and put off my publishing this fic (or doing anything else with my life) for the last three days. Way to go, laptop. Way. To. Go. *grumbles murderously*)
I don't own Durarara!.
Izaya kicked the door open but caught it (barely) with the tips of his fingers before it smashed into the wall beyond it.
"Chiaki! Kojiro! I'm home!" he called out cheerfully, a grin splitting his face in half.
He tapped his ringed fingers against the door as he waited for a response of some kind.
Nothin'.
Izaya raised an amused eyebrow before sweeping into the foyer and slamming the door shut behind him, causing the pictures in their frames nearby to rattle and shift on the wall for visitors to see and admire. Most of them were of Izaya and his sisters in school from years gone by. A few were of all five Oriharas together as a family. It was interesting, Izaya thought as he briefly glanced at them, how they almost precisely caught the moment at which Izaya went from "Izaya Orihara: son and student" to "Izaya Orihara: loner and schemer." Not much of a visual change took place on the outside, not until he reached high school and refused to wear the Raira Academy uniform. Mostly the change was seen, by those vigilant enough to observe it, in his new way of smiling and the brilliant light in his eyes, very different from the duller one that had been there previously. And, maybe in the way that his parents didn't look at him quite the same when the camera caught such a look, not that Izaya cared all that much about it.
Closing the door had left the front hallway dark, emphasizing the apparent absence of life other than Izaya. He insolently began to walk through the house with his shoes still on, stopping in the kitchen to grab a can of Coca Cola from the fridge.
From there, Izaya made his way back to the main hallway and across, through to the living room. Last week his mom had called him, just to check up on her only son, and told him all about the remodel that his parents had done to the living room, including getting a new TV and different furniture to match the new paint color on the walls and rugs on the floor. Izaya had hardly listened, busy reveling in his love for all human beings as he played Kanra (and God) on the 'net, up until Chiaki had mentioned his 'vegetable box.' Izaya had seized onto the conversation intently after that, making sure not to let her know and abandoning his chat with Setton and Taro Tanaka to listen to what others would consider the trite, possibly embarrassing reminiscences of a woman with the encroaching threat of an empty nest once his sisters were gone.
Izaya didn't quite see it that way, not when his 'vegetable box' was concerned. Chiaki didn't call it his 'vegetable box,' of course. No one other than Izaya himself called it that. She'd referred to it as his secret box and had made light of it, retelling the story of how he'd brought the abandoned little wooden box home one day and never let it out of his sight for the next five years, how he'd gone out, "without his parents' permission," she might add, to buy a bike lock that he'd put on so no one else would be able to see what was inside, and how one day he'd just seemed to forget about it and they'd never seen it since.
Not until they moved the old couch out from the wall and had found it stashed behind it. Chiaki had sounded almost ecstatic when she told Izaya about the discovery, as if she'd finally discovered a piece to the puzzle that had once been her son. Izaya had laughed it off, doing her a favor by playing along and making it all seem like one, big, long-term joke, but he knew he would have to retrieve the box, or, at least, a very important part of it.
That's what brought him back on this rare visit home. He couldn't say that he was surprised that neither of his parents was home; Kojiro was most likely diligently plodding along at work and Chiaki was quite apt to be doing… whatever it was that consumed her this week.
With that thought in mind, and knowing Chiaki could come home any minute, Izaya first put down the already sweaty can of Coke on one of the new wooden coffee tables, where he deemed that a moisture ring would look the most attractive, and then, made his way back to the kitchen and the cramped staircase in the corner that was nearly hidden by the industrial-sized fridge that he snagged the soda from and had three separate, full-sized doors to it. Izaya had gotten a lot of use out of a refrigerator that big and that could have so many things stashed in it that no one else would ever need to know about. Sometimes he wondered if even he might have lost track of something within its ample innards…
He brushed his hand along the fridge affectionately as he passed it by, giving a little giggle as he did so. A thorough inspection of the chilly beasty would have to wait for another time, as would several other aspects of the Orihara house. For now, Izaya just needed his vegetable box.
Leaping up the first level of stairs, several at a time, was no problem. But, once he arrived on the boxy landing that signaled the need for a sudden, sharp right turn, he ran into trouble.
Izaya had barely stuck his head around the corner before a butcher knife came whirling in his direction. He just managed to duck out of the way before the blade imbedded itself in the wall behind him where his head had just been.
Izaya remained in a motionless crouch for several drawn-out moments as he locked eyes with his assailants, his flick blade discreetly resting, as yet unopened, in the palm of his hand. Then, his face settled into a smug, mildly forced, grin.
"Kururi-chan. Mairu-chan. It's been a while," Izaya greeted, unobtrusively moving his flick blade further back up his sleeve to its normal placement.
Both twins narrowed their eyes at him in a scowl before relaxing against each other at the top of the stairs. Kururi was holding a wood block of knives that Izaya hadn't noticed was missing from the kitchen. Two of the knives were missing, the one in the wall behind him, and the other held loosely in Mairu's hand.
"We thought you were a burglar," Mairu explained unblinkingly, using the hilt of the knife to push her glasses back up her nose.
Izaya resisted snorting. 'Cause robbers were ever so likely to announce their presence with a shout and sound like their big brother as they did it. They'd known it was him.
"I'm sure," was all he said in response, reaching behind him to pull the butcher knife from the wall with a sharp wrench without looking.
Mairu's eyes narrowed again, but Kururi seemed to be getting bored. Setting the block of knives on the floor, Kururi started, "You haven't been back for a while. Why are you here?"
Izaya widened his eyes in false surprise and insult. One good lie deserved another.
"Why, Kururi-chan, I know we aren't exactly close, but is it so hard to assume that I came back to just see my little sisters?" He squeezed his eyes shut and clutched his hands over his heart as if he were wounded. "Truly—"
"You just came here for your box," Mairu interrupted him, letting the knife she'd still had in her hand carelessly fall from her grip and rattle against the floorboards.
Izaya opened one eye to look at his sisters in barely concealed annoyance. Kururi was nodding at what her sister had said and Mairu was smirking in a fashion that Izaya was pretty sure she'd picked up from him when he'd still been living with them and their parents.
Deciding that prolonging this encounter any longer would be of no benefit to him, Izaya began walking up the stairs towards his sisters. As he got closer, Mairu started to look anxious about so easily giving away her knife her knife to the floor.
As a sign of good faith, Izaya tossed (perhaps a little too forcefully) the knife he'd yanked out of the wall to land with a clatter next to the one she'd dropped.
"Where is it?" he asked simply. The best thing he could do at this point was to get the component of the box that he wanted and go.
"Mom had it in your old room," Mairu answered, seeming to have also come to the conclusion that the sooner he got what he wanted, the sooner he could leave.
"But, we," Kururi began, taking over for her twin, "wanted to know what was in it."
They both turned around and headed down the hallway.
"So, now it's in our room," Mairu finished explaining, twisting her neck around as she walked so she could keep an eye on Izaya.
If they've forced the lock, I'll kill them, Izaya thought to himself, keeping his face neutral and benign on the outside. Mairu was suspicious of him enough as it was, and most likely Kururi was too. That twin just hid it better.
He followed them into the room that, at one point in time, had been painted a bright pink with accent yellow in preparation for the arrival of the two little girls who still inhabited the space. Now, the yellow was still allowed to show through, but the rest of the walls was covered with the occasional drawing or old school project taped up here or there, some odd bits of fabric or clothing tacked up in random places, including the ceiling. But, for the most part, the room was covered with Yuhei Hanejima merchandise. It was as if a shrine had been built to Shizuo's stoic little brother in the Orihara household.
Under his breath, Izaya began humming "It's A Small World After All."
"Stop that," Kururi ordered as she sat down on the single bed in the room. Mairu and Kururi had shared this room since they were born, and, as far as Izaya knew, they still did. If the two sisters had been anyone else, Izaya would have though the absence of a second bed to be odd. As it was, he just rolled with it.
"Don't you like the classics, Kururi-chan?" Izaya teasingly queried, letting his eyes roam aimlessly over the endlessly populating pictures of Kasuka.
"Your box is over there," Mairu stated, almost possessively blocking off Izaya's contact with her twin as she pointed to the far corner of the room.
Izaya felt himself glaring slightly at his one little sister. When they'd been toddlers, Izaya had always found Mairu to be much more interesting and easy to deal with than Kururi. Now, while Mairu was still more interesting, Kururi was the easier, and that wasn't saying much.
Moving over to where his sister had pointed, Izaya noticed the trail of splintered wood chips leading the wall for him. Upon seeing the box itself, he couldn't help but pause and stare for a moment.
"We tried to get into it," Mairu enlightened nonchalantly.
"I see."
"That's why we had the knives," Kururi added.
Again, Izaya saw that. It looked as if they'd gone psycho on the box, hacking at it with no rhyme or reason to guide them. Jagged chunks were missing from the box, revealing the second, metal box concealed inside.
"Who puts a box inside a box?" Mairu asked, pouting.
"People during the Christmas season who consider themselves clever," Izaya offered, getting down on one knee to nudge at a piece of wood hanging by a few fibers to the rest of the box. "And, who like seeing disappointment and frustration on other people's faces."
"We tried cutting off the lock, but it wouldn't budge," Kururi went on.
"You must have ruined Chiaki's favorite knife set, ne?" Izaya suggested, spinning the box across the floor, nearer himself.
"She's out of her cooking phase—"
"—so we doubt she'll care."
With his back turned to them, Izaya had no clue which twin was speaking at which point.
Suddenly, he heard them tromping across the floor to where he kneeled. They sank down to the floor on either side of him, both staring intently at the box within a box in front of him.
"What's in it?" they asked in unison.
"Why should I tell you?" Izaya responded, smiling to himself.
Their attitudes had changed since he'd arrived, and now they both embraced him in a trapping hug and began mewling at him.
"C'mon, Izzy-chan," they whined at him. "We want to know what you have in there. Please? Show us, please?"
Such strange girls, Izaya thought to himself, decidedly glad he no longer had to deal with them on an everyday basis.
But, he made as if he were going to do exactly as they asked, pulling the box even closer and reaching for the lock, breaking free of his sisters' holds.
It was in fact a cable bike lock with five number dials rather than the standard four. The cable itself was wrapped multiple times around the metal box with the lock snaking out through two holes bored into the wooden box surrounding it. It continued through a metal latch built into the wood. Nearly everything just described had damage done to it by the twins whittling at it, trying to discover their older brother's secret.
"Didn't you guys even try to figure out the combination?" Izaya asked, almost in a condescending tone of voice.
"Yes. We tried your birthday and stuff like that—" Mairu defended.
"—but none of those worked," Kururi took up.
"And, that's when Kururi got the knives," Mairu stated proudly, smiling indulgently across Izaya at her sister who smiled quietly back.
"You two could have just asked," Izaya informed them.
Both their jaws dropped.
"Liar," Kururi accused, narrowing her eyes and leaning away from him, becoming the hostile one.
"What is it?" Mairu was tugging at Izaya's coat sleeve eagerly.
Slowly, ever so slowly, Izaya began spinning the numbers on the bike lock, hiding the combination from the twins with his other hand.
"The… combo… is…" The lock clicked open. "'Yasai.'"
"…Huh?" Kururi said after a moment.
"There weren't any letters on that lock! That can't be the password. You are a liar!" Mairu charged, exploding and changing her tune once more.
"Did we not already know that, Mairu-chan?" Izaya teased. He laughed at the affronted look on her face. "But, as a matter of fact, that is the combo. It's a little indirect, but I'm sure a little sister of mine will be able to figure it out."
He untangled the cord and flipped open the lid of the damaged outer box. As he began unwrapping it from around the inner box, his sisters leaned in once again. Now, Kururi had her hand tangled in the shoulder of his coat and was tugging at it, though she didn't say anything.
Mairu was bouncy slightly on her knees and had her hands fisted in front of her mouth, not quite covering up the excited keening she was making in anticipation.
Izaya smirked to himself and tugged the cord completely free of both boxes. He started wrapping the cord around his hand and abruptly stood up, tearing free of Kururi's hold on him.
"Mairu-chan. Kururi-chan." He turned to the door. "I will see you two later."
"Wait, where are you going?" Mairu called after him, sounding alarmed.
"I got what I came for. Now, it's time for me to leave," Izaya laid out plainly. He tucked the wound up bike lock into his coat pocket and spread his arms in supplication. "What else is there for me to do?"
"You came for the lock?" Kururi asked skeptically.
"I did indeed." Again, Izaya smirked. "Sometimes the things you use to keep you secrets are important as the secrets themselves, don't you think?"
The twins blinked at him.
"No," they bluntly answered, not understanding their older brother any more than he understood them at times.
Izaya shrugged. "Oh well. Your problem, I guess. Later." He waved at them briefly before making his way out of their room.
"Can we still open it?" Mairu called after him, still focused on what was important and interesting to her.
"Knock yourselves out," was his answer.
Thanks for reading! Not a very epic oneshot, but quite a bit of fun for me to think up and put down ^-^. For those who don't have a Japanese dictionary handy, 'yasai' is the Japanese word for 'vegetable,' ergo, why he calls it his 'vegetable box' ('yasai no hako'). Eventually, I plan on writing a fic that will explain this idea/theme more thoroughly, but not any time soon. As always, check my blog for updates about what is or is not going on with my fics.
So, tell me… what was in the box? (It is not and never was a box full of vegetables -.)