Title: Animal
Author: Bluehaven4220
Disclaimer: Own Alexander and Hephaistion I do not. If I did, we would've seen a lot more action between those two.
Summary: "Why do they hate me so, Hephaistion?"
Reviews: Reviews? I like reviews, reviews make me happy.
A/N: Baliansword, I wrote this one for you. I hope you like it.
"Why do they hate me so, Hephaistion?" he pleaded with me. The hurt in his eyes, it was so profound. Good sweet Aphrodite, how could he think such a thing? He was graceful, powerful, had united nations, freeing them from the slavery they'd endured for so many years. He, as Alexander the Great, had everything he wanted. How had he come to believe that his army had turned on him?
"They don't hate you, Alexander," I insisted, "they share your passion. Ah, by the fear of Hades... these men could have only dreamed of having the success they have now." I enveloped him in a tight embrace. "By Zeus, they were the grandsons of goat farmers and sheep herders before they sought refuge in the army of Alexander…"
He pushed me away from him, like a wounded animal attacks when cornered. Clearly this was not what he wanted to hear. He wanted an answer. I did not want to answer truthfully, and the fact that he was my best friend weighted heavily on that decision. In truth, I was not prepared for what came next out of his mouth.
"Do you love me, Hephaistion?"
I stopped. There were tears in his eyes. "Do I what?"
"Do… you… love… me?" he repeated, slowly sounding out each word, as though I were dumb, speaking slowly so that I may read his lips in a vain attempt to understand. I did not bother to voice that I had heard his question the first time, but I did not know how to answer.
Instead I said nothing, turning my back to him and walking out of his tent. He had once said to me that on the eve of battle, it was hardest to be alone.
And it was true, though I was not fighting the Persians, the Indians, or even with Cassander (I do not understand why he hates me so). I was fighting my own battle, inside myself.
As a man, to honour my family, I was to take a bride, preferably a Macedonian, to make the son we conceived of what was considered 'pure blood'. As a man, it was my obligation. As a man, it was not looked kindly upon to express feelings for those of the same gender. I could not, and was not permitted to, love Alexander. He was my best friend; we had grown together all our lives. I can even recall a time where we were schoolboys, and we had been wrestling together. In the small class we had, all the other boys let him win, simply because his name was Alexander and his father was King Philip of Macedonia. I never did. I had once asked him if he wanted me to let him win. He had refused the offer, saying that one day, he would defeat me.
He by no means accomplished that goal. Even as young men, he could not defeat me. I can recall, that when we first served his father as young soldiers, and as part of our conditioning we would wrestle. He never defeated me, try as he might.
Now, as he begged me for answers, I was dumbfounded. I had no answers, and it pained me to know I could not help. His eyes filled with tears as he came back to me. He put his hands around my upper arms and looked me right in the face, refusing to let me go.
"Do… you… love… me?" he repeated, determined to get a response from my lips.
Again, the only thing I could do was remain silent.
"Damn it, Hephaistion, answer me!" he shook me. "Do…you…love…me?"
I couldn't contain myself any longer. I slapped him to get him to move away. He was not expecting the sudden contact. As he stumbled backward, I struggled to bring my breathing back to normal. I watched as his eyes grew round in surprise.
"Have I become so entangled in your web of deceit and hate that you will not give me a chance to explain myself?" I asked. "You've fashioned yourself to be loved by all, yet some of the ones closest to you, you ignore!" I could feel my blood racing through my veins. "I…" I turned my head again, mumbling "do not love you."
Alexander turned my face and cupped his hands on my cheeks. "Look at me, in my eyes, Hephaistion, and tell me you do not love me." He was patient, waiting until I would say something.
"I…" I stared at him.
Not giving me a chance to answer, his lips caught mine in a kiss.
Grinning, he had said all I needed to hear.
So I'm thinking this might be a one shot, unless my oh so talented readers would like more. Please review.