Chapter one- Catherine
Meredith watched her son walking in the back yard, arm in arm with a young girl. They were strolling up the path talking, the girl occasionally laughing. Her son had that effect on people. She turned from the large window of the mansion and left the two with privacy, she had things to do anyway. She planned to go to the docks today to meet with someone, though she had told her husband she was going to gossip with the other batty and respectable know-it-alls. She hated those women, always had and always put up with them because she had to. Her heart though, was at the sea.
Her name was Meredith Louise Johnson, though the tales of the sea knew her as Mary Louis Johanna. The town knew her as Mrs. Johnson, respectable and beautiful wife of Robert Calaway Johnson and mother of John (Jack) Robert Johnson and Rosa Meredith Johnson, the sea knew her as freedom and lover of the pirate Joshua 'Mad Hawk' Dalore.
Her secret life she had kept from everyone, including her family. She saw Joshua every month, when he stopped in the small port town for supplies. She knew when he was coming and would go down to the dock, every month at a prearranged time, and wait.
He was handsome, built well. He had long brown almost black hair that seemed to bunch up in places. His handsome face was roughly chiseled with high cheekbones, tanned golden brown. He had green eyes that could make your heart melt and a sweet deep voice. She mounted the marble staircase and made her way to the top where her bedroom was. There she would collect a bundle of men's clothing, take it down to the village, find a secluded spot and put it on. Then, she would be free to move around in her disguise until she was able to see him. Hopefully he'd be there.
Robert was a violent man, rich and bad tempered. He was the commodore and thought he ruled the world. He never laid a hand on Rosa, which Meredith was grateful for but Jack...He regularly beat Jack. Jack was now fifteen and almost a full adult. He had taken the blows since a young age and Meredith wasn't sure weather it was because of the beatings or something else but, Jack seemed unnormal, almost detached from the real world.
Robert, with his flaming red hair and blue eyes had known, she was sure, that Jack and Rosa were not his children. Jack had brown hair and brown eyes. His face had high cheekbones and Meredith had noticed that, from a young age, women had seemed to be attracted to him. Rosa, though Jack's twin, looked like Meredith with her silvery blond hair and fair complexion. Except for her green eyes, she looked exactly like Meredith. That of course left Robert suspicious.
She entered her room and went immediately to her cedar chest, brown eyes roving through the jumble of clothing and other things, white hands removing this and that until she finally found the secret lever to the fake bottom of the chest. She pulled on it and it slid up easily exposing love letters from Joshua and a wide assortment of gold and jewels. There was also a wooden box, elaborately carved that held a few ornate beads and, beside that, was the bundle of pirate cloths she kept to see Joshua.
She pulled out the bundle, replaced the fake bottom and shoved all the contents of the chest back in. Closing the lid and clutching the bundle to her chest, Meredith made her way from the room into the hall and looked out the window to the field below. Her husband was down there, whip in hand, overseeing the black slaves who did the work for the house. Meredith could tell he was watching Jeana, the new woman they had acquired. She was a good worker and very beautiful. Meredith knew that her husband was doing more with the women then overseeing her in the fields though.
She turned her gaze away, Robert would be down there for a while, probably wouldn't even notice she was gone. She slipped down the spiral white marble staircase and crossed the entrance hall and down a rickety wooden staircase to the kitchens were the slaves cooked meals.
A large black woman greeted her cheerfully and Meredith smiled. She hated what her husband did to there people. She had taught her kids well, black people were the same as them, with the same rights and freedoms. She had taught Rosa and Jack to respect them and, for Jack, respect women as well, like Joshua.
"Are ya ready ta go?" The women asked, they did this every month. Maria, the women, would go with her, picnic basket in hand, bundle of cloths inside, and head to the market with Meredith. Once there they would split up, Meredith would see the women she hated for an hour or so, like she did every week, and the she would leave, saying there was something at home she needed to do. Mary would be waiting by the bushes on the cliff near the beach. Meredith would change, go down to the dock and meet with Joshua. They'd spend a few hours together and then Meredith would head back to the bushes. Mary would get her dressed and together they'd head back. Robert would never know because he usually went to the bar about the time she always arrived home.
Meredith nodded and Mary grabbed the basket. The other slaves watched but said noting as Mary and Meredith made their way back up to the entrance hall. Before they came to the door, how ever, Jack and his lady friend entered the house.
The girl, Meredith could see, was very beautiful with blond hair and the brightest blue eyes she had ever seen. They roved the house taking in her surroundings. Meredith looked the lovely young woman up and down. The girl was skinny but tall, taller then Jack, which, if Meredith thought about it, wasn't that hard to do. She stood tall and proud though her clothing deceived her. She must have been less wealthy then they were because her dress was poorly tailored and her eyes, you could get lost in those eyes, and they showed amazement at the grand scale of the house.
"Mother." Jack smiled showing a perfect row of white teeth; "This is Lily Larson. She just moved here to Britain from Ireland." Lily smiled shyly and looked down at the floor. Meredith tried her best to make the young woman feel at home and hide the fact that she really wanted to leave, the docks were calling her name! She could feel her body almost shaking with anticipation, so hard she wanted to scream and run down to the water, flinging her arms around the man that she loved. "I'm trying to make her feel at home here. Her father was a lieutenant in the Irish Navy," His smile faded. "Fighting pirates." Lily's cheeks were bright reds now and Meredith could almost see the sweat trickling down her face.
"Well, Lily, I hope my son is making you feel welcome." Meredith said, her eyes on Jack who beamed again. "Jack, why don't you take Lily to the tea room, have someone bring you two tea and cakes. I have a pre-arranged engagement I can't be late for." He nodded and Meredith watched them walk down the hall, Lily staring around at the lavish painting and furniture. Inwardly, she hopped finally her son had found the right girl, he was after all fifteen. Somewhere deep down though, she knew he had that kind of heart, one that probably couldn't be tamed. Looking over at Mary who still watched her, Meredith placed a hand on the cool golden doorknob and exited the house.
The pathway was made of stone slabs and lined with tall neatly trimmed trees. Men and women worked the lawns and tended to the garden patches, all of them waving or tipping their hats to her. She acknowledged them with smiles and nods and was quite refreshed when she finally made her way to the garden and down the few stepped to the main path that would take her to the rest of the town.
She passed Rosa, who sat on a stone bench, her blond hair placed in a knot at the back of her head, shinning in the afternoon sun. She held a book to her nose and on closer examination, Meredith noticed it was a book on pirates. She smiled, there was no problem with that, though, Robert might find one.
Meredith had often read to her children as they grew up, giving them a love for books. Jack, of course, had insisted his stories be about pirates but these days, he was really into girls more then the exploits of buccaneers. Rosa, on the other hand, had once liked hearing stories of princesses and horses. One day, though, she had gotten into her brother's library and picked up a pirate book. She, like her mother, had fallen into the love of the pirate lore, the adventure, the mystery, and the romance.
Meredith led the way down the main path and onto the road where horses and riders went swiftly past and traders moved their wagons. At the cross road, Meredith and Mary split up, the black woman making her way to the market, Meredith making her way to the tea shop.
The tables were full of women, all of them high class, drinking their tea and swapping the good stories, all made up and all meant to hurt someone. Meredith hated these women but put up with them. If it were her choice, she'd still be poor and on a ship then with these primped up hussies. She spotted her normal group at the end of the teashop and sat down in her usual chair. Today they were taking about Mrs. Fred Volicoff, like pretty much everyday.
Prudence, a woman with red locks and a face and brain like a pug was giggling at something someone had said when Meredith arrived, and looked up at her through watery eyes. Baring her uneven teeth in a nasty grin she said, "Meredith, there you are dear. Have you hear the latest on dear Hetty Volicoff's daughter?" Meredith pretended to be interested and shook her head. "Oh, well. Martha said that their daughter..." She lowered her voice consperitoriously. "She was caught up at the ridge, kissing that new kid...what's his name? Oh yeah, the blacksmith's new assistant." Prudence giggled. "Such trash!"
The other women joined in and Meredith smiled weakly. Hetty was a very good friend of Meredith's and these women knew it. They didn't care though, and Meredith often wondered what they said about her when she wasn't around.
She could just imagine what they said about her son though. Meredith was sure Jack had gone out with every one of these women's daughters. It was well known in this town that Jack was a ladies man, even at his age.
"Oh, dear old Hetty's had her hands full, what with Fanny's mischief and her husband's sudden passing a year ago." Piped in Jennifer. She had her hands on her lap and was eyeing her teacup with mild distaste. "I bet though that she made him kill himself." She smiled blandly. "What with all the talking she does. Poor man probably wanted to die for a while."
"He was a bit of an idiot though." Prudence said loudly. "I mean, come on. What respectable man goes around with black folks, calling them friends and such? No wonder Fanny is the way she is." All the women nodded in agreement except for Meredith who had her finders wrapped in a fist so tight that the nails dug into her palm. What was wrong with these women?! She hid her hand under the table and controlled her anger; it would not do well to punch one of these women with her husband commodore and all.
The subject suddenly changed to the new Irish family that had just come here. Meredith knew immediately they must be talking about Lily's parents.
"The man seems nice enough, though how they ever managed to get here is beyond me. I think their a little poor." Said Sarah. She was the oldest of the group, about five or six years older then Meredith and the other women. "I think though that the wife, Marta or something, rumors say she's in the trade, you know which one I mean." She winked and leaned forward. "The prostitute ring." Some of the women gasped and closed their eyes tight, jaws clenched together. Jennifer fanned herself with her hand and clucked her tongue. Meredith's eyes screwed up in anger. Sarah had made that up, she was sure of it. There were no rumors of that sort flying around; she at least would have heard them.
Suddenly, Prudence leaned forward and placed a hand gently on Meredith's. Meredith looked down to see the gloved hand on hers a little surprised and wondering what this was about until Prudence kindly said, "It's alright dear. I'm hoping her daughter is not as evil as her mother."
Meredith's eyebrows furrowed and she looked into the ugly woman's eyes wondering what she meant. There was nothing evil about prostitution, though Meredith had never respected the profession; there were a lot of nice women she knew from her pirating days who were prostitutes.
Prudence noticed the look on Meredith's face and sighed. "You poor dear, certainly you know that your son has been seen around with that young Irish girl, Laura or something."
"Lily." Meredith corrected her. Prudence pulled her hand away interested and all the women leaned in closer. She knew they were hoping she'd give them dirt but Meredith wasn't that low. "Very nice young girl, beautiful to." She smiled. "Jack seems to like her a lot." Prudence placed a hand again on hers and spoke as if Meredith was on a deathbed.
"I hope for his sake then that the girl is not a rotten apple." The other women nodded and Susan, who hadn't yet said anything, placed her hand on Meredith's as well.
Meredith had liked Susan from the moment she had met her. Susan had a strong head on her shoulders and had confided that she only really hung out with these women was because she had to. Her husband was a captain in the royal navy. "It'll be okay." Susan said consolingly. "Jack's a strong young man, he has a good head, he'll do what's right and I know that, if this Lily was a bad apple as Prudence says, he'd get rid of her. The girl is probably very decent." Prudence snorted and took a dainty sip of her tea, pinky sticking out.
"Then again, look at the riff raff young Jack has been with before." She placed her cup and saucer down again on the table and placed her hand again on Meredith's, Meredith hadn't even realized Prudence had taking her hand away before. "No offense dear but, sometimes I don't think your son is all there." She spoke the last few words silently as though her insulting Jack silently would be better then if she had said it aloud.
Meredith couldn't take this anymore. Insulting innocent strangers was one thing, but insulting her son was another. Meredith stood slowly and set her napkin on the table beside her full teacup. "I'm sorry." She said as politely and lightly as possible. The women all looked at her, Susan's face a little sad, Prudence's triumphant. "I must go, I have business to attend to at home and I must see to it at once. It has been a pleasure." She nodded to each woman and then turned to leave.
As she walked away between the tables of other gossiping rich snobs, she clearly heard Prudence's voice say, "Did I say something to offend her?" She left the shop and made her way up the dirt streets to the meeting spot between her and Mary. She knew the older women wouldn't be there yet, she would probably still be in the market buying fruit.
She shouldn't have gotten worked up like that but Prudence had hit a nerve. Of course she had offended me! Meredith thought angrily, What? She thought she wouldn't, talking about my son like that, as though he's worthless...as though I wasn't there? Who does she think she is? Look at her son, heck, look at her daughter! That girl has slept with every man in this hole! And more! She thinks she's so perfect because her stupid son is joining the navy? Meredith growled aloud and almost shouted at a man who got in her way with his cart of delicious looking red apples. She waited until had had passed and continued up the street, her mind whirling and her heart pumping fast, pushing the anger like poison through her body.
Oh! How I'd like to punch her. Deep down though, Meredith found guilt and she didn't want to admit it. She felt the guilt of knowing that somewhere in her heart she agreed, Jack was a little strange, almost detached. She felt guilt that she was a little ashamed of him, of his reputation to be a handsome little heart breaker. She felt guilt at the jealousy she knew she had against Prudence, for having a son joining the navy. She knew Jack never would, he hated rules, he hated being told what to do, and he hated the navy...
He had to be free. Meredith turned up a small worn path that she had treaded every month. It was at the far end of a field and wound it's way up a grassy hill, broken from the eyes of people in the town by a thick clump of trees.
Most people didn't come up here because there were rumors it was haunted. Even in the afternoon sun, it did look cold and depressing as Meredith made her way swiftly up the path, tripping on protruding roots and some overgrown vegetation.
Finally reaching the top, Meredith sat down under a large tree, her back against the cool bark, brown eyes watching the harbor. Down there, in the middle of the harbor, bobbing slightly on the breeze swept water was the Catherine, Joshua's ship. No one but her knew it was a pirate ship, they changed the name every time they came into the harbor. Men in these parts knew her as the merchant ship Maryanne, and only a handful of people knew her as the Catherine. She marauded the water between the Caribbean and Britain, Joshua never killed if he had to, making him one of the most honorable pirates, his stories told in bars and on the street. Meredith had heard some of the stories and had to laugh, they were fabricated, most of them, told by Joshua himself and then passed on, becoming wilder and wilder until there was no truth at all.
She leaned her head against the bark and watched the Catherine's men in the little dinghies bringing supplies back and forth. Joshua would never come on land here, there was too much of a chance he'd be caught and, if he were, he'd be hung. She had never wanted him to take the chance, whichs why she went to him.
A crashing on the path brought her from her thoughts and she looked around the trunk to see Mary make her way from the mouth of the path. Her hair was full of twigs and she had dirt on her front. Meredith jumped to her feet to help the poor woman but she held up her hand and started brushing her front off roughly.
"I'm all right miss." She said, she walked over still holding the basket, which also had dirt on it. "I just tripped over a hidden branch is all." She smiled. "You came early." Meredith nodded.
"I couldn't stand to stay." She said heavily. She took the basket from Mary and opened it, her dark eyes catching sight of the bundle inside. She felt a tingling in her body again, a feeling of excitement and anticipation. "I better hurry. My hours are dwindling."
Mary helped her out of her dress and corset and together they managed to get Meredith into the men's clothing, binding up her front and pulling up her hair into a tiered leather hat. Under this she wore a red bandana that only saw the light of day when she visited Joshua, though occasionally she wore it when her husband was out, standing in front of the mirror admiring herself and missing the old days.
When she was done, Mary looked her up and down critically before pronouncing herself satisfied. "You look like a man well enough, and a pirate to be sure." She smiled. "Wish those women could see you now eh?" Meredith smiled back and laughed. She loved Mary with all her heart; the women always knew what was going through Meredith's head.
"Wish me luck." Meredith said simply. She turned and headed to the edge of the hill, away from the path. She would continue down the edge of the hill without help and then make her way along the beach to the dock, a path which was usually unguarded seeing as most of this area was rocks and cliffs.
As she began to climb down, using rocks for support, Mary looked over the edge. "You don't need luck ma'am." She said simply. "You simply have it in your soul." Meredith's eyes stung from the sun as she looked up at Mary and smiled.
"See you in a few hours." She said. The climb took about ten minutes, criss- crossing down the perilous hill and slipping on some rough patches. Once or twice, Meredith feared she would fall into the crushing waves below but, as Mary said, her luck was with her and she reached the bottom quickly. The rocks were slippery but she got across them and headed for the beach. The sand made hushed noises as her leather boots clumped along and she changed her elegant walk to a slight swagger so as to fit in.
No one stopped her or even gave her a second glance down here at the docks. Men loaded their boats with curses and loud conversation. She had a knack for spotting pirates, always had, and found that today it seemed almost as if there was a convention. She picked up snatches of conversation from the men, who had gone to great lengths to hide the fact that they were pirates.
"Ol Joe says to me Tortuga be the bes' place ta go."
"Treasure says you, nah, tha be a fool mission."
"She's a beaut all righ', I'd like anotha go wit her, later though..."
Meredith ignored these men and continued, keeping her head low so they wouldn't see she was a girl. They paid no attention to her though and she turned easily onto the dock where there were some familiar faces, men she had knew pretty much her whole life.
"Meredith." Called one man silently. Meredith turned to see Roger Gibbs loading a heavy looking crate into a small boat bound for the Catherine. "Need a ride deary?" Meredith nodded and he helped her into the small boat. Together, they managed to get the boat away from the dock and he began to row out to the Catherine, which sat in the water a short distance away. "Your lookin' lovely today, luv. Haven seen ye fer a while, beginin ta miss ya." Meredith smiled and looked her long time friend up and down critically.
He had lost a bit of weight since she had last seen him a month ago but his eyes sparkled, same as ever. He had been the first person to watch over her as she had swabbed a deck. He had been a friend of her father's and pretended to be a wealthy businessman as he had posed as Meredith's father as he prepared to wed Meredith off to Robert Johnson.
"Aye, I missed you to Rodge." She said. He chuckled and took a sip from his hip flask before handing it to her. She took it graciously and sniffed at the contents, rum. Not her favorite, but welcome enough. She tipped back her head and let some of the liquid dribble into her mouth. Swallowing it quickly, she stopped her self from making a face as she handed it back to Roger.
The small boat was tied to the Catherine and a coil of rope thrown down from the deck. Meredith and Roger climbed up it and Meredith was greeted with the sight she had been yearning for all month, the face of the man she loved, the father of her children, the best pirate in the world! She restrained herself from flinging her arms around him just yet as he looked at her critically. Finally, he said, "You look well." Meredith nodded. Joshua had a new scar on his cheek but other then that; he looked about the same. She nodded and repeated what he had said.
"Come." He commanded. "I have something I wish to show you. I think it's a map but, I'm having trouble reading it." The men on deck parted and Joshua led Meredith to his cabin, each pretending they were not excited to see each other. Meredith moved her gaze around the familiar deck. She loved the slight rock of the ship and the whine of the sails above her. She was home, and she loved it.
Joshua opened the door and allowed her inside. Maps strewn the table and a compass sat on top like a paperweight, holding them down. He shut the door and locked it, then turned and watched her as she moved around the cabin. Finally she stopped and looked at him.
Rushing over to her began to kiss her and she didn't pull away, she had dreamed about him for so long and now here he was, in the flesh. This was so familiar and Meredith knew that one-day she would be free again, when her children were grown and had lives of their own, she would come back to this life, leave Robert and come here. She would have stayed, she wished she had, but the violent life of a pirate was not one she wanted her children to grow up in, that's why she had made herself marry a man she didn't love and live on land. Her freedom though, was here in her arms. She would be free again, one day.
**
The cool air and pre-sunset gloom hung over her like a mist as she stepped from the captain's cabin three and a half-hours later. She had to get back to the hill, get dressed and then get back to the manor before anyone really realized she was gone. Mary was probably snoozing, like usual and she'd have to wake her when she got to the tree. Pushing that from her mind, she looked to the horizon where the sun hung low on the sky, it's light almost touching the water. The days were getting shorter.
Joshua stepped out after and closed the door, his brown hair blowing in the wind. They had talked over many things like Jack and Rosa, the past and they way life was now. They had kissed, hugged and down other things that made Meredith shudder. She didn't want to leave, go back to her present when her past still strongly gripped her heart. And, as she climbed into the small boat after making her way carefully down the rope, she had to suppress the sorrow that welled inside her making her want to scream. Her throat ached and her eyes stung, she wanted to cry as she looked into Joshua's face, studying every line as she and Roger began to move away from the Catherine and back towards her unmoving and awful life.
Roger made marry banter as they closed in on the dock, Meredith knew that he knew what was going through her head but, like the good man he was, he wouldn't breath a word. That's what had always made her feel at home around him, that's why it was so hard when she climbed out of the boat and onto the unswaying dock. Roger climbed out after her and held her upper arms in his strong hands. It was a half hug, pirates didn't like to wrap their whole arms around you, and it was too risky for their reputation.
"Goodbye lass, take care of those wee ones of yourn." He said gruffly. Meredith could tell he was about to cry. "We'll continue to carry on yer good name, Mary Louis Johanna, daughter of the sea." Meredith smiled sadly at her old name and watched the older man step into the boat. Before he could push off though, she pulled a small piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to him.
"Please." She said quietly. "Give this Joshua, tell him to read and put safe so someday, when I'm free, he can give it back." Roger's eye brows stitched together and he took the paper and slipped it carefully in his right boot. Nodding, he began to row swiftly back to the Catherine, which was to depart at any minute. Meredith stood on the dock the longest time until finally the Catherine began to move, back out to open waters. She watched it go, her heart aching, tears welling in her eyes. Someday, she promised herself, someday it will be mine again. I will have it!
She turned and walked back up the dock towards the rocks and the hill. The climb seemed a burden more then usual, every step took her farther and farther from the sea, every breath she took sharply as her sides ached from exertion, every fiber of her being called out Joshua's name. All to go unanswered. This was her life, her destiny.
As she figured, Mary was asleep as she approached the tree, head resting against the bark, mouth open snoring soundly. Meredith allowed herself to smile, as she looked at the basket that lay beside the sleeping women, one sleeve hanging over the side. She would have stayed at sat beside the women, watched the sea until the sun went down, but she had to get home, had to be there for supper, to see her husband and her kids. Shaking Mary awake, the two women managed to undress Meredith and then dress her back up again, this time in a corset and respectable cloths. The one sleeve that had hung over the side was slightly dirty but she hid it well as she walked through the slowly darkening streets.
People around her were closing up shops, men and women strolled home, arm in arm, talking about their day. She even passed Sarah who looked as though she had been at the teashop the whole afternoon. They made it up the path and past the bench Rosa had sat on, reading her book.
The house was warm and inviting as they entered. A servant told Meredith that Richard had been taken to the fort on urgent business and was told he would not be home till later. Meredith really didn't care and was even grateful, maybe he'd never come back but she shouldn't hold her breath.
She took the bundle from Mary and watched the older woman go down to the kitchens before she made her way up the marble staircase to her own room. She walked swiftly, not wanting to be interrupted and asked questions as the bundle she carried. Of course, life never throws you what you want, and Meredith was a little disappointed when she ran into Rosa stepping out of her own bedroom.
Like usual, Meredith couldn't help but wonder how Rosa had become so beautiful. It seemed only yesterday, her daughter was a small girl with blond pigtails, playing with dolls on her bedroom floor in a brand new pink dress. Now, though, she stood before Meredith in a baby blue silk dress, hair falling around her painted face. Meredith had never liked makeup and thought it a shame that Rosa wished to hide her natural beauty. If it weren't for the high life, Meredith herself would be tanned and paintless, dressed in billowing white shirts with a cutlass at her side.
"Hello mother." Rosa said, eyeing the bundle in Meredith's hand. "Lovely night isn't it?" Meredith smiled and nodded curtly.
"Where is your brother?" Meredith asked, trying to move the subject away from the night. Rosa looked over her shoulders and sighed.
"I think he's still outside in the garden, strolling with that Irish girl." Rosa replied. Meredith suddenly noticed the book in her hand. It was a fairly old edition of a pirate tale, one from the library no doubt. As Meredith stared her heart skipped a beat, she knew that book. Rosa noticed her staring and looked down at it. "What's wrong?"
"That book, where did you find it?" Meredith asked. Her daughter's cheeks, already red from paint, light up more and she looked away.
"I found it, it the library, under a loose floorboard, I'm part way through it, I think it was hidden." She suddenly looked suspiciously at her mother. "Why?" Meredith swallowed and motioned for her daughter to hand over the book. Looking down at the cover, her voice caught in her throat and again tears came to her eyes.
The book she now held, she had not seen for fifteen years. She had hid it, under a loose floorboard below the desk so no one, especially Robert, would find it. Joshua had written it, two years after they had commandeered the Catherine. It was their story, a story about the love between them and how they had met. He had written it, using their sea names of Mary Louise Johanna and his Mad Hawk. She smiled a quivering smile and looked up at her daughter who seemed confused.
"You take care of this okay?" She said seriously. Her daughter nodded and Meredith handed the book back, but not before sticking the bundle under her arms and flipping through the entire book looking for the loose sheaf of paper that should be there. It wasn't, the map was missing!
"Rosa," She said, "Where is the piece of paper at the back? The one that resembles a map?" Rosa's face was darkened for a minute and then brightened again.
"Here." She said, and pulled a yellow stained paper, folded in three parts, from her pocket. She handed it to her mother who grabbed it and placed in inside a fold of her shirt tucked securely beneath her arm. "Thank you dear, now run along and tell your brother that supper will be ready soon, or so I expect." Rosa nodded and walked down the marble hall, her steps muffled slightly on the worn carpet. Before she had gone far though, she turned and addressed her mother.
"What is it? The map, I mean, what dose the treasure hold?" Meredith pretended she knew nothing of what Rosa was taking about so the young woman continued. "I know it's a map mother, I just don't know why it was in this book and why the book was hidden? Who hid it?" Meredith shook her head and shrugged. She knew Rosa understood, Rosa knew Meredith had an idea what the map held or how else could she have known it was there. Faking puzzlement, Rosa turned away and continued down the hall. When she was gone, Meredith quickened to her room and shut the door behind her.
She opened the trunk, took out its contents, pulled on the fake bottom and placed the bundle of pirates clothing inside. She then took out the map from her shirt and laid it on the floor, unfolded; it's face for all to see. The map contained co-ordinates to a treasure of the likes of which no one had ever dreamed. She traced the route with her finger. It was a map, a map to an island that could not be found except by those who already knew where it was. She did, she had never been there before but someday she would go.
The island was called Isla de Muerta; it housed the Aztec gold of Cortés himself. This map said it was cursed but she didn't believe in curses, which had ever heard of cursed treasure? It was laughable. She hadn't looked at this map for so long, and suddenly wished she could see the whole thing. Joshua had the other half, they had decided years ago to look for it together and split the prize but the winds of fate had changed and they had torn the map in two. He also had the compass; the only means of finding the treasure for the compass pointed you to it.
Sighing, she refolded the map and placed it in the fake-bottomed trunk with the rest of her stuff and closed the lid. The sun, she could see through the window above the trunk, was gone now, the sun set. Getting carefully to her feet, Meredith made her way down the stairs and into the dinning room, the smell of food hitting her nose. After a long day outside with the salt air around her, she had become very hungry and, with blessings to god, her and her children began to eat knowing Robert usually was late and had always told them to start with out him.
He's probably done his duty at the fort and is with some other woman right now, she thought. Meredith smiled savagely and cut daintily into her pork finding she really didn't care. At the dinner table, when Robert was home to eat with them, they usually ate silent. When he was not there though, they talked as they ate and shared the day's events.
Rosa had read for about three hours on the bench and then made her way to the horse pens to watch the slaves break in a new filly. Jack and Lily had wandered around town and then returned to the back garden where the slaves had provided them with a picnic lunch.
"What is she like?" Meredith asked. Her son finished chewing his potato and looked over at his mother softly.
"She's alright. A bit silent if you ask me." Rosa rolled her eyes and continued eating. Meredith knew her children well enough to know that the young woman had just bitten her tongue on a derisive comment.
"Moving on though." Jack said suddenly, reaching for his water glass. He took a sip and set it down none to carefully so some of the water splashed over and ran down the glass coming to rest on the tablecloth. Meredith chastised him with her eyes but he continued as though nothing had happened, "What did you do today?" Meredith squirmed uncomfortably for a few seconds and then looked her son deeply in the eyes. Oh, he looked so much like his father with those facial expressions and voice...and the eyes, her color but deep and secret like Joshua's. Oh how she missed him!
"I sat at the teashop with Prudence and them and spoke of things which do not concern you." She moved her eyes to her plate, quite unwilling to discuss it further. Jack, though, continued.
"You talked about me then, eh?" He said bluntly. Meredith looked up and he laughed lightly. "Thought so, they think I'm queer, I know they do. I think it's the way I walk...or maybe the fact that I'm none to steady on my feet." He rubbed his chin absentmindedly as though pondering this before his sister spoke up.
"You are right, of course Jack, they do talk about you. Many times, if truth be known." Rosa took a sip from her glass and set it down carefully with a pointed look at her twin. "I'd say you didn't deserve it, if that were true. You do make yourself rather well known." Jack looked unfazed as he took his glass and gulped the rest down.
Meredith sighed and was about to speak when Robert entered the room. He had, undoubtedly, changed into his uniform to go to the fort but now he wore his normal cloths again, though they still represented his power. He strolled in, hands clasped behind his back. Jack stood immediately and waited until his father had sat before taking his seat again. The man hardly acknowledged any of them until a servant had loaded his plate and he had begun to eat. From that moment on, the room was silent.
**
That night, Meredith retired to bed while Richard smoked a cigar in the lounge with one of the captains from the fort. They were long time friends and got together almost every night for an expensive cigar and brandy.
She sat in front of the mirror for a while, fiddling with her hair as she ran a brush through it. She had been with Joshua, even if it was only for a few hours. She sighed, maybe, someday, they would know. Standing, she went to the window and looked out over the moon-bathed town below her. The balcony outside looked inviting and she stepped through the double glass doors and out on to it, the cold stone tingling her feet. Standing at the wood railing, she closed her eyes and pretended it was the Catherine. No one, ever, would ache to have a ship back like she did; no one would ever do anything for a ship like she would at that moment.
A shadow in the garden caught her eye and she looked down to see her son sitting on the stone bench below, watching the moon glimmering on the water in the bay. Meredith suddenly wondered what the future held for him, what it held for all of them. She watched him for the longest time until she grew cold and turned back into the carpeted safety of the room.
Climbing into bed, the lights off and her husband still downstairs chatting to his friend, Meredith whispered her name under her breath. "Mary Louise Johanna." She smiled and her eyes lingered on the cedar chest under the window until she drifted off to sleep.
Meredith watched her son walking in the back yard, arm in arm with a young girl. They were strolling up the path talking, the girl occasionally laughing. Her son had that effect on people. She turned from the large window of the mansion and left the two with privacy, she had things to do anyway. She planned to go to the docks today to meet with someone, though she had told her husband she was going to gossip with the other batty and respectable know-it-alls. She hated those women, always had and always put up with them because she had to. Her heart though, was at the sea.
Her name was Meredith Louise Johnson, though the tales of the sea knew her as Mary Louis Johanna. The town knew her as Mrs. Johnson, respectable and beautiful wife of Robert Calaway Johnson and mother of John (Jack) Robert Johnson and Rosa Meredith Johnson, the sea knew her as freedom and lover of the pirate Joshua 'Mad Hawk' Dalore.
Her secret life she had kept from everyone, including her family. She saw Joshua every month, when he stopped in the small port town for supplies. She knew when he was coming and would go down to the dock, every month at a prearranged time, and wait.
He was handsome, built well. He had long brown almost black hair that seemed to bunch up in places. His handsome face was roughly chiseled with high cheekbones, tanned golden brown. He had green eyes that could make your heart melt and a sweet deep voice. She mounted the marble staircase and made her way to the top where her bedroom was. There she would collect a bundle of men's clothing, take it down to the village, find a secluded spot and put it on. Then, she would be free to move around in her disguise until she was able to see him. Hopefully he'd be there.
Robert was a violent man, rich and bad tempered. He was the commodore and thought he ruled the world. He never laid a hand on Rosa, which Meredith was grateful for but Jack...He regularly beat Jack. Jack was now fifteen and almost a full adult. He had taken the blows since a young age and Meredith wasn't sure weather it was because of the beatings or something else but, Jack seemed unnormal, almost detached from the real world.
Robert, with his flaming red hair and blue eyes had known, she was sure, that Jack and Rosa were not his children. Jack had brown hair and brown eyes. His face had high cheekbones and Meredith had noticed that, from a young age, women had seemed to be attracted to him. Rosa, though Jack's twin, looked like Meredith with her silvery blond hair and fair complexion. Except for her green eyes, she looked exactly like Meredith. That of course left Robert suspicious.
She entered her room and went immediately to her cedar chest, brown eyes roving through the jumble of clothing and other things, white hands removing this and that until she finally found the secret lever to the fake bottom of the chest. She pulled on it and it slid up easily exposing love letters from Joshua and a wide assortment of gold and jewels. There was also a wooden box, elaborately carved that held a few ornate beads and, beside that, was the bundle of pirate cloths she kept to see Joshua.
She pulled out the bundle, replaced the fake bottom and shoved all the contents of the chest back in. Closing the lid and clutching the bundle to her chest, Meredith made her way from the room into the hall and looked out the window to the field below. Her husband was down there, whip in hand, overseeing the black slaves who did the work for the house. Meredith could tell he was watching Jeana, the new woman they had acquired. She was a good worker and very beautiful. Meredith knew that her husband was doing more with the women then overseeing her in the fields though.
She turned her gaze away, Robert would be down there for a while, probably wouldn't even notice she was gone. She slipped down the spiral white marble staircase and crossed the entrance hall and down a rickety wooden staircase to the kitchens were the slaves cooked meals.
A large black woman greeted her cheerfully and Meredith smiled. She hated what her husband did to there people. She had taught her kids well, black people were the same as them, with the same rights and freedoms. She had taught Rosa and Jack to respect them and, for Jack, respect women as well, like Joshua.
"Are ya ready ta go?" The women asked, they did this every month. Maria, the women, would go with her, picnic basket in hand, bundle of cloths inside, and head to the market with Meredith. Once there they would split up, Meredith would see the women she hated for an hour or so, like she did every week, and the she would leave, saying there was something at home she needed to do. Mary would be waiting by the bushes on the cliff near the beach. Meredith would change, go down to the dock and meet with Joshua. They'd spend a few hours together and then Meredith would head back to the bushes. Mary would get her dressed and together they'd head back. Robert would never know because he usually went to the bar about the time she always arrived home.
Meredith nodded and Mary grabbed the basket. The other slaves watched but said noting as Mary and Meredith made their way back up to the entrance hall. Before they came to the door, how ever, Jack and his lady friend entered the house.
The girl, Meredith could see, was very beautiful with blond hair and the brightest blue eyes she had ever seen. They roved the house taking in her surroundings. Meredith looked the lovely young woman up and down. The girl was skinny but tall, taller then Jack, which, if Meredith thought about it, wasn't that hard to do. She stood tall and proud though her clothing deceived her. She must have been less wealthy then they were because her dress was poorly tailored and her eyes, you could get lost in those eyes, and they showed amazement at the grand scale of the house.
"Mother." Jack smiled showing a perfect row of white teeth; "This is Lily Larson. She just moved here to Britain from Ireland." Lily smiled shyly and looked down at the floor. Meredith tried her best to make the young woman feel at home and hide the fact that she really wanted to leave, the docks were calling her name! She could feel her body almost shaking with anticipation, so hard she wanted to scream and run down to the water, flinging her arms around the man that she loved. "I'm trying to make her feel at home here. Her father was a lieutenant in the Irish Navy," His smile faded. "Fighting pirates." Lily's cheeks were bright reds now and Meredith could almost see the sweat trickling down her face.
"Well, Lily, I hope my son is making you feel welcome." Meredith said, her eyes on Jack who beamed again. "Jack, why don't you take Lily to the tea room, have someone bring you two tea and cakes. I have a pre-arranged engagement I can't be late for." He nodded and Meredith watched them walk down the hall, Lily staring around at the lavish painting and furniture. Inwardly, she hopped finally her son had found the right girl, he was after all fifteen. Somewhere deep down though, she knew he had that kind of heart, one that probably couldn't be tamed. Looking over at Mary who still watched her, Meredith placed a hand on the cool golden doorknob and exited the house.
The pathway was made of stone slabs and lined with tall neatly trimmed trees. Men and women worked the lawns and tended to the garden patches, all of them waving or tipping their hats to her. She acknowledged them with smiles and nods and was quite refreshed when she finally made her way to the garden and down the few stepped to the main path that would take her to the rest of the town.
She passed Rosa, who sat on a stone bench, her blond hair placed in a knot at the back of her head, shinning in the afternoon sun. She held a book to her nose and on closer examination, Meredith noticed it was a book on pirates. She smiled, there was no problem with that, though, Robert might find one.
Meredith had often read to her children as they grew up, giving them a love for books. Jack, of course, had insisted his stories be about pirates but these days, he was really into girls more then the exploits of buccaneers. Rosa, on the other hand, had once liked hearing stories of princesses and horses. One day, though, she had gotten into her brother's library and picked up a pirate book. She, like her mother, had fallen into the love of the pirate lore, the adventure, the mystery, and the romance.
Meredith led the way down the main path and onto the road where horses and riders went swiftly past and traders moved their wagons. At the cross road, Meredith and Mary split up, the black woman making her way to the market, Meredith making her way to the tea shop.
The tables were full of women, all of them high class, drinking their tea and swapping the good stories, all made up and all meant to hurt someone. Meredith hated these women but put up with them. If it were her choice, she'd still be poor and on a ship then with these primped up hussies. She spotted her normal group at the end of the teashop and sat down in her usual chair. Today they were taking about Mrs. Fred Volicoff, like pretty much everyday.
Prudence, a woman with red locks and a face and brain like a pug was giggling at something someone had said when Meredith arrived, and looked up at her through watery eyes. Baring her uneven teeth in a nasty grin she said, "Meredith, there you are dear. Have you hear the latest on dear Hetty Volicoff's daughter?" Meredith pretended to be interested and shook her head. "Oh, well. Martha said that their daughter..." She lowered her voice consperitoriously. "She was caught up at the ridge, kissing that new kid...what's his name? Oh yeah, the blacksmith's new assistant." Prudence giggled. "Such trash!"
The other women joined in and Meredith smiled weakly. Hetty was a very good friend of Meredith's and these women knew it. They didn't care though, and Meredith often wondered what they said about her when she wasn't around.
She could just imagine what they said about her son though. Meredith was sure Jack had gone out with every one of these women's daughters. It was well known in this town that Jack was a ladies man, even at his age.
"Oh, dear old Hetty's had her hands full, what with Fanny's mischief and her husband's sudden passing a year ago." Piped in Jennifer. She had her hands on her lap and was eyeing her teacup with mild distaste. "I bet though that she made him kill himself." She smiled blandly. "What with all the talking she does. Poor man probably wanted to die for a while."
"He was a bit of an idiot though." Prudence said loudly. "I mean, come on. What respectable man goes around with black folks, calling them friends and such? No wonder Fanny is the way she is." All the women nodded in agreement except for Meredith who had her finders wrapped in a fist so tight that the nails dug into her palm. What was wrong with these women?! She hid her hand under the table and controlled her anger; it would not do well to punch one of these women with her husband commodore and all.
The subject suddenly changed to the new Irish family that had just come here. Meredith knew immediately they must be talking about Lily's parents.
"The man seems nice enough, though how they ever managed to get here is beyond me. I think their a little poor." Said Sarah. She was the oldest of the group, about five or six years older then Meredith and the other women. "I think though that the wife, Marta or something, rumors say she's in the trade, you know which one I mean." She winked and leaned forward. "The prostitute ring." Some of the women gasped and closed their eyes tight, jaws clenched together. Jennifer fanned herself with her hand and clucked her tongue. Meredith's eyes screwed up in anger. Sarah had made that up, she was sure of it. There were no rumors of that sort flying around; she at least would have heard them.
Suddenly, Prudence leaned forward and placed a hand gently on Meredith's. Meredith looked down to see the gloved hand on hers a little surprised and wondering what this was about until Prudence kindly said, "It's alright dear. I'm hoping her daughter is not as evil as her mother."
Meredith's eyebrows furrowed and she looked into the ugly woman's eyes wondering what she meant. There was nothing evil about prostitution, though Meredith had never respected the profession; there were a lot of nice women she knew from her pirating days who were prostitutes.
Prudence noticed the look on Meredith's face and sighed. "You poor dear, certainly you know that your son has been seen around with that young Irish girl, Laura or something."
"Lily." Meredith corrected her. Prudence pulled her hand away interested and all the women leaned in closer. She knew they were hoping she'd give them dirt but Meredith wasn't that low. "Very nice young girl, beautiful to." She smiled. "Jack seems to like her a lot." Prudence placed a hand again on hers and spoke as if Meredith was on a deathbed.
"I hope for his sake then that the girl is not a rotten apple." The other women nodded and Susan, who hadn't yet said anything, placed her hand on Meredith's as well.
Meredith had liked Susan from the moment she had met her. Susan had a strong head on her shoulders and had confided that she only really hung out with these women was because she had to. Her husband was a captain in the royal navy. "It'll be okay." Susan said consolingly. "Jack's a strong young man, he has a good head, he'll do what's right and I know that, if this Lily was a bad apple as Prudence says, he'd get rid of her. The girl is probably very decent." Prudence snorted and took a dainty sip of her tea, pinky sticking out.
"Then again, look at the riff raff young Jack has been with before." She placed her cup and saucer down again on the table and placed her hand again on Meredith's, Meredith hadn't even realized Prudence had taking her hand away before. "No offense dear but, sometimes I don't think your son is all there." She spoke the last few words silently as though her insulting Jack silently would be better then if she had said it aloud.
Meredith couldn't take this anymore. Insulting innocent strangers was one thing, but insulting her son was another. Meredith stood slowly and set her napkin on the table beside her full teacup. "I'm sorry." She said as politely and lightly as possible. The women all looked at her, Susan's face a little sad, Prudence's triumphant. "I must go, I have business to attend to at home and I must see to it at once. It has been a pleasure." She nodded to each woman and then turned to leave.
As she walked away between the tables of other gossiping rich snobs, she clearly heard Prudence's voice say, "Did I say something to offend her?" She left the shop and made her way up the dirt streets to the meeting spot between her and Mary. She knew the older women wouldn't be there yet, she would probably still be in the market buying fruit.
She shouldn't have gotten worked up like that but Prudence had hit a nerve. Of course she had offended me! Meredith thought angrily, What? She thought she wouldn't, talking about my son like that, as though he's worthless...as though I wasn't there? Who does she think she is? Look at her son, heck, look at her daughter! That girl has slept with every man in this hole! And more! She thinks she's so perfect because her stupid son is joining the navy? Meredith growled aloud and almost shouted at a man who got in her way with his cart of delicious looking red apples. She waited until had had passed and continued up the street, her mind whirling and her heart pumping fast, pushing the anger like poison through her body.
Oh! How I'd like to punch her. Deep down though, Meredith found guilt and she didn't want to admit it. She felt the guilt of knowing that somewhere in her heart she agreed, Jack was a little strange, almost detached. She felt guilt that she was a little ashamed of him, of his reputation to be a handsome little heart breaker. She felt guilt at the jealousy she knew she had against Prudence, for having a son joining the navy. She knew Jack never would, he hated rules, he hated being told what to do, and he hated the navy...
He had to be free. Meredith turned up a small worn path that she had treaded every month. It was at the far end of a field and wound it's way up a grassy hill, broken from the eyes of people in the town by a thick clump of trees.
Most people didn't come up here because there were rumors it was haunted. Even in the afternoon sun, it did look cold and depressing as Meredith made her way swiftly up the path, tripping on protruding roots and some overgrown vegetation.
Finally reaching the top, Meredith sat down under a large tree, her back against the cool bark, brown eyes watching the harbor. Down there, in the middle of the harbor, bobbing slightly on the breeze swept water was the Catherine, Joshua's ship. No one but her knew it was a pirate ship, they changed the name every time they came into the harbor. Men in these parts knew her as the merchant ship Maryanne, and only a handful of people knew her as the Catherine. She marauded the water between the Caribbean and Britain, Joshua never killed if he had to, making him one of the most honorable pirates, his stories told in bars and on the street. Meredith had heard some of the stories and had to laugh, they were fabricated, most of them, told by Joshua himself and then passed on, becoming wilder and wilder until there was no truth at all.
She leaned her head against the bark and watched the Catherine's men in the little dinghies bringing supplies back and forth. Joshua would never come on land here, there was too much of a chance he'd be caught and, if he were, he'd be hung. She had never wanted him to take the chance, whichs why she went to him.
A crashing on the path brought her from her thoughts and she looked around the trunk to see Mary make her way from the mouth of the path. Her hair was full of twigs and she had dirt on her front. Meredith jumped to her feet to help the poor woman but she held up her hand and started brushing her front off roughly.
"I'm all right miss." She said, she walked over still holding the basket, which also had dirt on it. "I just tripped over a hidden branch is all." She smiled. "You came early." Meredith nodded.
"I couldn't stand to stay." She said heavily. She took the basket from Mary and opened it, her dark eyes catching sight of the bundle inside. She felt a tingling in her body again, a feeling of excitement and anticipation. "I better hurry. My hours are dwindling."
Mary helped her out of her dress and corset and together they managed to get Meredith into the men's clothing, binding up her front and pulling up her hair into a tiered leather hat. Under this she wore a red bandana that only saw the light of day when she visited Joshua, though occasionally she wore it when her husband was out, standing in front of the mirror admiring herself and missing the old days.
When she was done, Mary looked her up and down critically before pronouncing herself satisfied. "You look like a man well enough, and a pirate to be sure." She smiled. "Wish those women could see you now eh?" Meredith smiled back and laughed. She loved Mary with all her heart; the women always knew what was going through Meredith's head.
"Wish me luck." Meredith said simply. She turned and headed to the edge of the hill, away from the path. She would continue down the edge of the hill without help and then make her way along the beach to the dock, a path which was usually unguarded seeing as most of this area was rocks and cliffs.
As she began to climb down, using rocks for support, Mary looked over the edge. "You don't need luck ma'am." She said simply. "You simply have it in your soul." Meredith's eyes stung from the sun as she looked up at Mary and smiled.
"See you in a few hours." She said. The climb took about ten minutes, criss- crossing down the perilous hill and slipping on some rough patches. Once or twice, Meredith feared she would fall into the crushing waves below but, as Mary said, her luck was with her and she reached the bottom quickly. The rocks were slippery but she got across them and headed for the beach. The sand made hushed noises as her leather boots clumped along and she changed her elegant walk to a slight swagger so as to fit in.
No one stopped her or even gave her a second glance down here at the docks. Men loaded their boats with curses and loud conversation. She had a knack for spotting pirates, always had, and found that today it seemed almost as if there was a convention. She picked up snatches of conversation from the men, who had gone to great lengths to hide the fact that they were pirates.
"Ol Joe says to me Tortuga be the bes' place ta go."
"Treasure says you, nah, tha be a fool mission."
"She's a beaut all righ', I'd like anotha go wit her, later though..."
Meredith ignored these men and continued, keeping her head low so they wouldn't see she was a girl. They paid no attention to her though and she turned easily onto the dock where there were some familiar faces, men she had knew pretty much her whole life.
"Meredith." Called one man silently. Meredith turned to see Roger Gibbs loading a heavy looking crate into a small boat bound for the Catherine. "Need a ride deary?" Meredith nodded and he helped her into the small boat. Together, they managed to get the boat away from the dock and he began to row out to the Catherine, which sat in the water a short distance away. "Your lookin' lovely today, luv. Haven seen ye fer a while, beginin ta miss ya." Meredith smiled and looked her long time friend up and down critically.
He had lost a bit of weight since she had last seen him a month ago but his eyes sparkled, same as ever. He had been the first person to watch over her as she had swabbed a deck. He had been a friend of her father's and pretended to be a wealthy businessman as he had posed as Meredith's father as he prepared to wed Meredith off to Robert Johnson.
"Aye, I missed you to Rodge." She said. He chuckled and took a sip from his hip flask before handing it to her. She took it graciously and sniffed at the contents, rum. Not her favorite, but welcome enough. She tipped back her head and let some of the liquid dribble into her mouth. Swallowing it quickly, she stopped her self from making a face as she handed it back to Roger.
The small boat was tied to the Catherine and a coil of rope thrown down from the deck. Meredith and Roger climbed up it and Meredith was greeted with the sight she had been yearning for all month, the face of the man she loved, the father of her children, the best pirate in the world! She restrained herself from flinging her arms around him just yet as he looked at her critically. Finally, he said, "You look well." Meredith nodded. Joshua had a new scar on his cheek but other then that; he looked about the same. She nodded and repeated what he had said.
"Come." He commanded. "I have something I wish to show you. I think it's a map but, I'm having trouble reading it." The men on deck parted and Joshua led Meredith to his cabin, each pretending they were not excited to see each other. Meredith moved her gaze around the familiar deck. She loved the slight rock of the ship and the whine of the sails above her. She was home, and she loved it.
Joshua opened the door and allowed her inside. Maps strewn the table and a compass sat on top like a paperweight, holding them down. He shut the door and locked it, then turned and watched her as she moved around the cabin. Finally she stopped and looked at him.
Rushing over to her began to kiss her and she didn't pull away, she had dreamed about him for so long and now here he was, in the flesh. This was so familiar and Meredith knew that one-day she would be free again, when her children were grown and had lives of their own, she would come back to this life, leave Robert and come here. She would have stayed, she wished she had, but the violent life of a pirate was not one she wanted her children to grow up in, that's why she had made herself marry a man she didn't love and live on land. Her freedom though, was here in her arms. She would be free again, one day.
**
The cool air and pre-sunset gloom hung over her like a mist as she stepped from the captain's cabin three and a half-hours later. She had to get back to the hill, get dressed and then get back to the manor before anyone really realized she was gone. Mary was probably snoozing, like usual and she'd have to wake her when she got to the tree. Pushing that from her mind, she looked to the horizon where the sun hung low on the sky, it's light almost touching the water. The days were getting shorter.
Joshua stepped out after and closed the door, his brown hair blowing in the wind. They had talked over many things like Jack and Rosa, the past and they way life was now. They had kissed, hugged and down other things that made Meredith shudder. She didn't want to leave, go back to her present when her past still strongly gripped her heart. And, as she climbed into the small boat after making her way carefully down the rope, she had to suppress the sorrow that welled inside her making her want to scream. Her throat ached and her eyes stung, she wanted to cry as she looked into Joshua's face, studying every line as she and Roger began to move away from the Catherine and back towards her unmoving and awful life.
Roger made marry banter as they closed in on the dock, Meredith knew that he knew what was going through her head but, like the good man he was, he wouldn't breath a word. That's what had always made her feel at home around him, that's why it was so hard when she climbed out of the boat and onto the unswaying dock. Roger climbed out after her and held her upper arms in his strong hands. It was a half hug, pirates didn't like to wrap their whole arms around you, and it was too risky for their reputation.
"Goodbye lass, take care of those wee ones of yourn." He said gruffly. Meredith could tell he was about to cry. "We'll continue to carry on yer good name, Mary Louis Johanna, daughter of the sea." Meredith smiled sadly at her old name and watched the older man step into the boat. Before he could push off though, she pulled a small piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to him.
"Please." She said quietly. "Give this Joshua, tell him to read and put safe so someday, when I'm free, he can give it back." Roger's eye brows stitched together and he took the paper and slipped it carefully in his right boot. Nodding, he began to row swiftly back to the Catherine, which was to depart at any minute. Meredith stood on the dock the longest time until finally the Catherine began to move, back out to open waters. She watched it go, her heart aching, tears welling in her eyes. Someday, she promised herself, someday it will be mine again. I will have it!
She turned and walked back up the dock towards the rocks and the hill. The climb seemed a burden more then usual, every step took her farther and farther from the sea, every breath she took sharply as her sides ached from exertion, every fiber of her being called out Joshua's name. All to go unanswered. This was her life, her destiny.
As she figured, Mary was asleep as she approached the tree, head resting against the bark, mouth open snoring soundly. Meredith allowed herself to smile, as she looked at the basket that lay beside the sleeping women, one sleeve hanging over the side. She would have stayed at sat beside the women, watched the sea until the sun went down, but she had to get home, had to be there for supper, to see her husband and her kids. Shaking Mary awake, the two women managed to undress Meredith and then dress her back up again, this time in a corset and respectable cloths. The one sleeve that had hung over the side was slightly dirty but she hid it well as she walked through the slowly darkening streets.
People around her were closing up shops, men and women strolled home, arm in arm, talking about their day. She even passed Sarah who looked as though she had been at the teashop the whole afternoon. They made it up the path and past the bench Rosa had sat on, reading her book.
The house was warm and inviting as they entered. A servant told Meredith that Richard had been taken to the fort on urgent business and was told he would not be home till later. Meredith really didn't care and was even grateful, maybe he'd never come back but she shouldn't hold her breath.
She took the bundle from Mary and watched the older woman go down to the kitchens before she made her way up the marble staircase to her own room. She walked swiftly, not wanting to be interrupted and asked questions as the bundle she carried. Of course, life never throws you what you want, and Meredith was a little disappointed when she ran into Rosa stepping out of her own bedroom.
Like usual, Meredith couldn't help but wonder how Rosa had become so beautiful. It seemed only yesterday, her daughter was a small girl with blond pigtails, playing with dolls on her bedroom floor in a brand new pink dress. Now, though, she stood before Meredith in a baby blue silk dress, hair falling around her painted face. Meredith had never liked makeup and thought it a shame that Rosa wished to hide her natural beauty. If it weren't for the high life, Meredith herself would be tanned and paintless, dressed in billowing white shirts with a cutlass at her side.
"Hello mother." Rosa said, eyeing the bundle in Meredith's hand. "Lovely night isn't it?" Meredith smiled and nodded curtly.
"Where is your brother?" Meredith asked, trying to move the subject away from the night. Rosa looked over her shoulders and sighed.
"I think he's still outside in the garden, strolling with that Irish girl." Rosa replied. Meredith suddenly noticed the book in her hand. It was a fairly old edition of a pirate tale, one from the library no doubt. As Meredith stared her heart skipped a beat, she knew that book. Rosa noticed her staring and looked down at it. "What's wrong?"
"That book, where did you find it?" Meredith asked. Her daughter's cheeks, already red from paint, light up more and she looked away.
"I found it, it the library, under a loose floorboard, I'm part way through it, I think it was hidden." She suddenly looked suspiciously at her mother. "Why?" Meredith swallowed and motioned for her daughter to hand over the book. Looking down at the cover, her voice caught in her throat and again tears came to her eyes.
The book she now held, she had not seen for fifteen years. She had hid it, under a loose floorboard below the desk so no one, especially Robert, would find it. Joshua had written it, two years after they had commandeered the Catherine. It was their story, a story about the love between them and how they had met. He had written it, using their sea names of Mary Louise Johanna and his Mad Hawk. She smiled a quivering smile and looked up at her daughter who seemed confused.
"You take care of this okay?" She said seriously. Her daughter nodded and Meredith handed the book back, but not before sticking the bundle under her arms and flipping through the entire book looking for the loose sheaf of paper that should be there. It wasn't, the map was missing!
"Rosa," She said, "Where is the piece of paper at the back? The one that resembles a map?" Rosa's face was darkened for a minute and then brightened again.
"Here." She said, and pulled a yellow stained paper, folded in three parts, from her pocket. She handed it to her mother who grabbed it and placed in inside a fold of her shirt tucked securely beneath her arm. "Thank you dear, now run along and tell your brother that supper will be ready soon, or so I expect." Rosa nodded and walked down the marble hall, her steps muffled slightly on the worn carpet. Before she had gone far though, she turned and addressed her mother.
"What is it? The map, I mean, what dose the treasure hold?" Meredith pretended she knew nothing of what Rosa was taking about so the young woman continued. "I know it's a map mother, I just don't know why it was in this book and why the book was hidden? Who hid it?" Meredith shook her head and shrugged. She knew Rosa understood, Rosa knew Meredith had an idea what the map held or how else could she have known it was there. Faking puzzlement, Rosa turned away and continued down the hall. When she was gone, Meredith quickened to her room and shut the door behind her.
She opened the trunk, took out its contents, pulled on the fake bottom and placed the bundle of pirates clothing inside. She then took out the map from her shirt and laid it on the floor, unfolded; it's face for all to see. The map contained co-ordinates to a treasure of the likes of which no one had ever dreamed. She traced the route with her finger. It was a map, a map to an island that could not be found except by those who already knew where it was. She did, she had never been there before but someday she would go.
The island was called Isla de Muerta; it housed the Aztec gold of Cortés himself. This map said it was cursed but she didn't believe in curses, which had ever heard of cursed treasure? It was laughable. She hadn't looked at this map for so long, and suddenly wished she could see the whole thing. Joshua had the other half, they had decided years ago to look for it together and split the prize but the winds of fate had changed and they had torn the map in two. He also had the compass; the only means of finding the treasure for the compass pointed you to it.
Sighing, she refolded the map and placed it in the fake-bottomed trunk with the rest of her stuff and closed the lid. The sun, she could see through the window above the trunk, was gone now, the sun set. Getting carefully to her feet, Meredith made her way down the stairs and into the dinning room, the smell of food hitting her nose. After a long day outside with the salt air around her, she had become very hungry and, with blessings to god, her and her children began to eat knowing Robert usually was late and had always told them to start with out him.
He's probably done his duty at the fort and is with some other woman right now, she thought. Meredith smiled savagely and cut daintily into her pork finding she really didn't care. At the dinner table, when Robert was home to eat with them, they usually ate silent. When he was not there though, they talked as they ate and shared the day's events.
Rosa had read for about three hours on the bench and then made her way to the horse pens to watch the slaves break in a new filly. Jack and Lily had wandered around town and then returned to the back garden where the slaves had provided them with a picnic lunch.
"What is she like?" Meredith asked. Her son finished chewing his potato and looked over at his mother softly.
"She's alright. A bit silent if you ask me." Rosa rolled her eyes and continued eating. Meredith knew her children well enough to know that the young woman had just bitten her tongue on a derisive comment.
"Moving on though." Jack said suddenly, reaching for his water glass. He took a sip and set it down none to carefully so some of the water splashed over and ran down the glass coming to rest on the tablecloth. Meredith chastised him with her eyes but he continued as though nothing had happened, "What did you do today?" Meredith squirmed uncomfortably for a few seconds and then looked her son deeply in the eyes. Oh, he looked so much like his father with those facial expressions and voice...and the eyes, her color but deep and secret like Joshua's. Oh how she missed him!
"I sat at the teashop with Prudence and them and spoke of things which do not concern you." She moved her eyes to her plate, quite unwilling to discuss it further. Jack, though, continued.
"You talked about me then, eh?" He said bluntly. Meredith looked up and he laughed lightly. "Thought so, they think I'm queer, I know they do. I think it's the way I walk...or maybe the fact that I'm none to steady on my feet." He rubbed his chin absentmindedly as though pondering this before his sister spoke up.
"You are right, of course Jack, they do talk about you. Many times, if truth be known." Rosa took a sip from her glass and set it down carefully with a pointed look at her twin. "I'd say you didn't deserve it, if that were true. You do make yourself rather well known." Jack looked unfazed as he took his glass and gulped the rest down.
Meredith sighed and was about to speak when Robert entered the room. He had, undoubtedly, changed into his uniform to go to the fort but now he wore his normal cloths again, though they still represented his power. He strolled in, hands clasped behind his back. Jack stood immediately and waited until his father had sat before taking his seat again. The man hardly acknowledged any of them until a servant had loaded his plate and he had begun to eat. From that moment on, the room was silent.
**
That night, Meredith retired to bed while Richard smoked a cigar in the lounge with one of the captains from the fort. They were long time friends and got together almost every night for an expensive cigar and brandy.
She sat in front of the mirror for a while, fiddling with her hair as she ran a brush through it. She had been with Joshua, even if it was only for a few hours. She sighed, maybe, someday, they would know. Standing, she went to the window and looked out over the moon-bathed town below her. The balcony outside looked inviting and she stepped through the double glass doors and out on to it, the cold stone tingling her feet. Standing at the wood railing, she closed her eyes and pretended it was the Catherine. No one, ever, would ache to have a ship back like she did; no one would ever do anything for a ship like she would at that moment.
A shadow in the garden caught her eye and she looked down to see her son sitting on the stone bench below, watching the moon glimmering on the water in the bay. Meredith suddenly wondered what the future held for him, what it held for all of them. She watched him for the longest time until she grew cold and turned back into the carpeted safety of the room.
Climbing into bed, the lights off and her husband still downstairs chatting to his friend, Meredith whispered her name under her breath. "Mary Louise Johanna." She smiled and her eyes lingered on the cedar chest under the window until she drifted off to sleep.