Josephine had been reading the same line of the insufferably dry report attached to her clipboard for exactly 14 minutes now; an inexcusable waste of time she had to acknowledge. Drawing an elegant, olive finger over the line, she tried desperately to force herself past the same word she kept getting stuck behind;
"After further investigation, the Dalish mage concerned was found to be largely innocent, although..."
The tick in her conscience spurred again, and her mind was dragged back to two weeks ago as her eyes reverted back to that glaring word and the rest of the sentence trailed off into the void.
"Leliana said I was an 'innocent in love'?!"
Josephine threw the clipboard down in an uncharacteristic display of frustration, sending two or three sheets of other, neglected reports and diplomatic documents violently off the edge of her ornate desk.
"Oh! Curse that infernal menace of a spymaster" she growled, as she planted her trembling hands onto the immaculately polished edge of the furniture, and pushing herself out of the luxurious chair she had languished in for an hour now. Even before she had been caught in this recurring loop of the same ridiculous word, the Ambassador had been uncharacteristically unfocused; half-heartedly tolerating the various inquiries and demands she was obliged to entertain or deliver today.
Worst of all, her blunders were not limited to this one day. She had been unforgivably distracted for days now, her uncultured behaviour belying her otherwise erstwhile mind. The few errors she could think of at that moment were enough to make her toes curl up inside her silk boots; addressing a potential Orlesian donor to the cause by the wrong title and having to offer several favours to get the arrangement back onto its original terms before the blunder was the first.
After that she had sent a letter designed to give damning gossip about one noble family to a key contact in the Orlesian court (and as thus gain leverage over them), to the actual family themselves. That had been a very costly mistake, and if the family had already not been incredibly unpopular in Josephine's well-established circles, social suicide.
Finally, and at this Josephine did screw up her hands and face with the force of embarrassment it caused, she had addressed the Inquisitor by her first name to someone else. To have the gall to do this in front of polite company, during professional matters...she couldn't imagine a greater slip to make in the game. Oh, it had only raised an eyebrow above the lacquered mask that was facing her at the time, but the next day she could practically feel eyes watching over her every time she spoke to Lady Trevelyan the next day, dissecting every look, watching for another over-affectionate accident.
Josephine sighed under her breath, exasperated by the whole affair. Before she could even stretch her legs and bend down to retrieve her lost work from the floor, she felt guilty for her words against her old friend. It was a confusing mix of emotions that hung over Leliana's unwanted interference in her love life. On one hand, Josephine was adamant that she did not need to be watched over in such a proprietary manner; Leliana seemed to have taken some form of guardianship over her believing Josephine to be incapable of dealing with matters herself. The cheek! The Ambassador had wrangled deals out of stubborn royalty, negotiated with hardened war leaders, even consorted with criminals when required, and Leliana still treated her like a naive child at times! She was no Nug sitting blindly in the path of an Archdemon!
But then, it had to be admitted there had been a certain oversight, perhaps even a wilful ignorance? Josephine had taken all of Lady Trevelyan's comments to be a form of courtly intrigue, refused to read anything more into it that a certain noble...what would Sera call it, banter. Josephine knew all too well from her long career that people tend to see a reflection in others of their own intentions; what they want to see – in short. If it hadn't been for Leliana's meddling, who knows if the truth would have surfaced between the two of them?
And now, now she really was proving that she was that "innocent in love"; two weeks gone by with nothing but stolen kisses in the courtyard, open compliments, walks around Skyhold. The sweetness of it all was almost sickening; not because it was unwelcome, but because it proved that dratted rogue right. Her resentment of Leliana's astute assumptions about her nature had meant they had not talked except to conclude business manners since Leliana's little 'talk' with the Inquisitor.
Josephine began to shuffle the papers into her hand hurriedly, crouched on the floor with her back to the door, not wanting anyone to see the state she had made. She desperately wanted to prove to the Inquisitor that she was not devoid of romantic complexity, was more than the words used to describe her, but she was dreadfully afraid of scaring the woman away. The Inquisitor could have anyone in Thedas if she wanted, and half of Skyhold was already vying for her affection. Josephine already felt in a disadvantaged position; she didn't get to accompany Lady Trevelyan out on her excursions, whereas other potential suitors barely left her side. Why, even now the Inquisitor was on some expedition in the Fallow Mire, a thought which made her shiver with dread.
She could discount a few of them as genuine threats quite easily based on the Inquisitor's obvious...preferences, but that infernal imp Sera made absolutely no secret of what she would do with Trevelyan if given the opportunity, and even Scout Harding looked up to her with eyes brimming with unspoken adoration. Before she considered herself a player in this game, she would have happily disregarded all this information, but now she had a potential standing in the Inquisitor's affections she felt uncomfortably attuned to all. One wrong move and the Inquisitor would not have to run far to find a willing replacement.
"Maker Josephine!" she spat at herself before sighing dejectedly as she began to rise with the crumpled papers huddled in her arms, "Already you are thinking of ways to ruin everything, and you haven't even..."
"So it's true."
Josephine practically squealed, and then turned so suddenly that she threw all of the paper back onto the floor to float to the sleek boots of the resident spymaster, who leant against the doorframe with a half smile lifting one side of her pale face which almost reeked of smugness.
"Ugh!" Josephine threw her hands up, "You!" she scrambled to pick the papers up again, not caring how ungainly it made her look, and stormed back to her desk, "I suppose I don't have to ask you what it is you are referring to" she growled.
"Hardly Josie" Leliana lifted a triumphantly amused eyebrow as coughed out an indignant laugh, "I've never seen you flap around like this before. You are like one of my birds in the mating season!"
Josephine coloured, feeling the sudden rush of blood to her olive cheeks burning a clear confirmation of Leliana's argument and froze with her back to the spymaster, clenching the paper so tight her fists began to flush white. Paralysed by embarrassment, she could only continue to listen to Leliana's bemused tirade,
"All these little errors in the game Josie, you can't think they have gone unnoticed? Letters gone amiss, revealing comments...this is exactly what I had hoped to avoid" her smile faded and her gaze became suddenly more thoughtful, "You are distracted; I had hoped that my talk with the Inquisitor would prevent all this..." Leliana took a couple of steps towards Josephine, who could barely prop herself up on the side of her desk, "But it seems she is still insistent on her desire to toy with your emotions..."
"No!" Josephine felt her shame morph to indignant anger, which made even the perceptive Leliana jump and stop in her approach, "No – this is your doing" Josephine practically screwed the paper up and threw it down on the desk, and abruptly swivelled to look her old friend directly in the eyes, "Do you not think I can look after myself?! It is your words that have dogged me these past few days, not hers!" Josephine felt her voice rising, and took a moment to compose herself before continuing, she did not want to broadcast this to all of Skyhold, "You think I am some naive girl who cannot..." she paused as she struggled to think of a polite way to phrase the unspoken act that was implied, "Deal with matters of the heart" she managed to hiss out, under her breath. This only re-ignited Leliana's mirth.
"Oh...I see. So you were just about to declare your feelings for her were you before I intervened? Or, hmm" Leliana posed with her chin in her hand, comically tapping her face, "Or had it gone completely unnoticed by you?" Josephine felt her combative words sink in her throat before they had a chance to form, "Goodness Josie, you can't even say the word. You can't lay all the blame at my feet." She chuckled, "Besides I miss our little chats, especially now you may have something juicy to tell me about!"
Josephine could hardly keep up with Leliana's incessant flitting between the role of overprotective sister and girly best friend. She knew the there was more to the rogue than the shrewd face she put on in public (her adoration of shoes was proof enough of that), but a moment ago she had looked ready to gut the Inquisitor the next time she saw her.
"So...are you against this association on not Leliana?" Josephine queried, exasperated.
"Not if she treats you well" Leliana deadpanned back.
"Wonderful" Josephine shot back sarcastically, before allowing herself to indulge in a sigh "I can't stand to admit it, but maybe I do need your help..." she admitted, "I think..." she screwed up her face to build herself up over her own cringing before continuing, "I think I am worried that you were right" she spat out the last word, "What do I know of romance?" she asked rhetorically, "You know what I do when I don't understand something; I read, I liaise, I cajole recalcitrant nobles, I deploy diplomacy" she recited, counting them off on her fingers, "None of that is any use now, in fact, this whole situation is compounding my ability to do the things I am best at"
"You are approaching the problem from the wrong angle Josie" Leliana sidled up to her companionably and placed an arm around her shoulder, "This is not a puzzle to be solved by logic, nor one of your gaudy love novels. Ah, ah ah" Leliana rose a hand to still Josephine's objections, "Do you want my help or not?"
Josephine settled, but was still stupefied that Leliana had managed to obtain that last little point of knowledge. When she found out who had given that one away...
"Just relax old friend, and stop revealing your hand to everyone in the room" Leliana smiled, patting Josephine on the back, "If she is as sincere as you seem to think she is" she continued sceptically, "Everything will fall into place. You can't keep blundering around like this – there is a war raging on, if you hadn't noticed".
"You act as if everyone already knows!" Josephine grumbled, pushing off Leliana's arm and pacing the room once more, "I know I have messed up a thing or two, but I couldn't be that obvious"
"So it's true"
Cassandra's deep Nevarran drawl carried from the doorway, through the room, and above the voices of the other two women, as it always did. Josephine could barely bring herself to regard the warrior; this was far too ridiculous to be happening. Only just avoiding the urge to be physically sick from the stress this situation was calling, she smiled meekly and greeted Cassandra with her best attempted at forced ignorance.
"Why Seeker, how pleasant to see you; we didn't expect you so soon. Pray tell, what you are-"
Cassandra's disapproving look and flat expression underneath her harsh black haircut and furrowed brow was enough for Josephine to physically baulk, and retreat into the relative safety of the chair behind her desk.
"Don't treat me for a fool Ambassador" she growled, cutting her off, "The looks alone are enough to turn my stomach" she squinted, "But I hoped you would not be so foolish, can you not see that there is-"
"A war on! Yes, thank you Cassandra I am quite aware" Josephine buried her face into her hands.
"Then what are you thinking?!" Cassandra implored, moving towards the desk and planting her hands decisively on the edge, "Entangling yourself with the Inquisitor, really – as if we need two of the most important members of our castle babbling like morons at the same time" she shook her head and pushed herself from the desk dramatically, as if to convey her ire through the aggression of the action, "Anyone would think-"
"Ha ha! Bit rich coming from you isn't it love?"
"Anything but that!" Josephine pleaded, to nobody in particular.
"I've seen the sort of trash you read Cassie" Sera barged in unannounced and trailing a mocking hand over Cassandra's breastplate, poking her accusatorily with each accentuated word, "You're just jealous that you're not the one getting secret Skyhold time pretending to be the lead in one of Varric's stories: reading your secret love letters by the candlelight, looking off dramatically into the distance – yuck!" the mischievous elf pulled a face, "Makes me sick just thinking about it!"
"I..." Cassandra visibly faltered, horror engulfing her face as she was caught out by Sera's astute observations, "I...don't know what you-I..." Cassandra cleared her throat, too flustered to recover from the conversation and desperate to save face, "I have more important matters to attend to" she announced suddenly, making to leave the room abruptly, "Do as you will, Ambassador" she added icily as she slipped out of view before she could be further demeaned.
"She'll come round eventually" Sera concluded, "Give her space and she'll be clamouring to marry the two of you. Not as hard as she pretends to be that one" she mused.
Josephine just sat there, gobsmacked, desperately thinking of a way to stop this situation from worsening any further, albeit grateful that Cassandra had been so easily scared off. She could not think of anyone she wanted to know about this less than Sera. If she knew, that meant the entire of Skyhold inevitably also knew. All Joesphine desired right in that moment was to be left alone, but she had a feeling her request was going to be denied.
"This is not an open forum on my personal issues!" she snapped, "Can you please just-"
"Do you want to know what I think?" Sera interrupted, sauntering over to Josephine's desk.
"No." Josephine replied flatly, "No I do not-"
"IIIIIII think" Sera drawled, perching herself to sit on the edge of Josephine's desk, "That you need to stop wasting time writing soppy letters and prancing around like you're courting in Val Royeaux, and prance around somewhere else" she grinned, "I mean bed" she whispered conspiratorially when Josephine shot her back and incredulous stare.
"I am not having this conversation, I am not – What do you mean soppy letters?!" Josephine caught suddenly, fear of discovery engulfing her senses.
"Relaaaaaaax!" Sera jovially cuffed Josephine on the shoulder, almost toppling off the edge of the table with the movement but just about managing to cling on, "It's not like I read them – I mean, that's not alright is it? But you should think twice about who you get to carry around your secrets; didn't take much to convince them to spit out the name of who was sending all the sealed envelopes up to Quizzy's chambers."
It was hard for Josephine's trademark calm veneer in the face of all these revelations. She had thought herself to be so subtle, so demure in her expression of her feelings, when she had been blundering around like a tittering barmaid! Out of the corner of her eye Josephine could see Leliana desperately trying to bite back her amusement, but her mirth was poorly concealed. Worst of all, she was now getting a lecture in life advice...
From Sera.
"I mean, I was hoping that I might get in there first, so I had to know how I was squaring off against, but let's face it – nobles always choose their own over a scruffy lag like me. Not a fair contest when you think about it"
It was even more difficult for the Ambassador to maintain her cool in the face of the jealous and indignant rage that was beginning to bubble in her stomach. How dare this wretched girl think that their association was mere noble privilege! Josephine bit her tongue and clenched her skirts up into her fists under the table; desperately trying to rein in her emotions and remind herself that Sera was inevitably trying to wind her up on purpose. Taking a deep breath, she forced her face into a neutral position as the torturous conversation continued.
"So, if it has to be you Ruffles - you need to get a move on! Between Lumpy trashing the whole of Thedas and your noble lot doing her head in, I think the Lady needs something to distract her from all the DOOM AND GLOOM!" Sera shouted the last part of her sentence, throwing her hands out dramatically as if to convey the sense of horror around them all that very moment in Josephine's (usually calm) office, and this time falling completely off the edge of the table. Picking herself up as if nothing had happened, she continued on, "How do you think the Warden managed to get through the arsing blight without going as mad as a cat in a bath tub?" Sera gave Leliana a pointed look before laughing lewdly.
Josephine seemed to recall the Inquisitor mentioning that Sera hadn't known who the Warden was until recently; someone had clearly been doing some digging in the mean time. Before she could interject to question the miraculous source of Sera's new found knowledge, her interruption was itself precluded by a girlish tittering from her old friend.
"Oh yes, yes indeed" Josephine could barely contain her incredulity at the Spymaster's collusion with Sera, her mouth falling open at Leliana's faraway tone of voice, "So many nights with just the stars, the open fire, and my love..." Josephine was beginning to understand where Sera might have got her knowledge from, if Leliana's enthusiasm to speak about it now was any example to go by, "Sometimes we couldn't even wait..."
"RIGHT. ENOUGH." Josephine mentally closed her mind to any further information that was being unceremoniously forced into her head, "I officially do not need to know any of this, and I certainly don't need to be accosted in my own office! All of you, please desist and leave me be."
Sera pouted comically and Leliana merely raised her brow at Jospehine's tone of voice, before looking at each other and shrugging.
"Guess you don't need my help after all Josie" Leliana commented lightly, grinning triumphantly at the Ambassador's wanton display of emotion, "I'll just see myself out - you know where to find me if you change your mind"
The Spymaster slunk out like a cat, all coy swagger and confidence and letting her fingers trail on the doorframe as she departed. Josephine found herself wondering why she couldn't pull that off.
"Well you better think of something fast 'Bassy, cause if you don't take her off the market soon" Sera winked and made a guttural chortle before leaving the room with significantly less class that Leliana, visibly hiding a limp from where she had fallen off the table and leaving the door half open as she lumbered away.
Alone at last, Josephine decided to return to the crumpled papers in the hope that she would not be forced to waste the day entirely. But the flush of embarrassment and anger would not leave her face and the tired Antivan sat back in her seat in resignation, closing her eyes and breathing out a long, tired sigh.
"Oh Brona" she breathed, addressing the first name of her quandary now she was alone again, "Brona, what am I to do?!"
"Do about what?"
Josephine could not bring herself to open her eyes as her heart plummeted to her silk shoes. Of course! How could she be so unobservant? If Sera and Cassandra were back, that meant the party was back from the Fallow Mire, a party which included...
"How long have you been there?" Josephine commented flatly, dragging her hands over her face, now drained of its previous colour, and squinting through her fingers to see the presumably baffled Inquisitor peeking around the door sheepishly.
Brona Trevelyan shyly regarded her toes, going uncharacteristically quiet for a woman of usually such brazen confidence. The sharp-faced warrior seemed reluctant to meet Josephine's eyes, and her lightly tanned skin seemed to reflect a similar shade to that which Josephine felt her own must be. It told the shrewd Ambassador more than words could have managed to; she'd heard it all.
Brona cleared her throat pointedly and ran a nervous hand through her red-brown hair, combed back into a practical ponytail as ever. She was still wearing her dark red and silver jagged, caped armour, strong, stable and imposing – the picture of authority. Josephine felt a rising sickness from the base of her tummy as she realised just how far that had been undermined in the previous conversation. How could she ever redeem herself from such social shame?
"I...I didn't know..." the Inquisitor began, but as Brona looked up, she could only catch a flash of gold as Josephine fled the scene, the heavy wooden door slamming behind her as her ears caught the padding of hurried steps down the corridor towards the room where the War Table resided.