Title: No Way To Say
Pairing: Harry/Hermione
Song: No Way To Say
Artist: Ayumi Hamasaki
Author: Nanja
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, etc. That's J.K. Rowling's brilliant masterpiece and I thank her again for her brilliant work!
A/N: *takes a deep breath* I was inspired by the wonderfull music of Ayumi once again, listening only to instrumental versions lately. Kudos to Nikki (and her crush) who gave me the brilliant inspiration!




The snow was falling down in such a beautiful gentle way, covering every inch of the Hogwarts grounds, that it was almost cruel. There where once stood flowers, there where once lay grass, now lay white snow that was illuminated by the morning sunrayes. The snow was still fresh, no one had walked on it yet and left their footsteps.
The Great Hall was not crowded, as usually was the case, but almost completely abandoned. Of course, this was due the Christmas Holidays, which most students spend at their homes, but some couldn't return.

Hermione played with her food. Uninterested and not at all appealed by it, she used her fork to make holes in the egg on her plate. She had been awake all night, wondering about so many things she couldn't even remember now, automatically making them unimportant and boring topics. She'd rather not think of anything, she'd rather just sleep during the night, but some part of her made her believe it was important to ponder about her life. She looked round. The only people having breakfast in the Great Hall as well, were Cho Chang and some of her Ravenclaw friends. She sighed. She knew she should've waited untill Harry, Ron or Ginny had finished sleeping.

Half an hour later, Hermione was no longer alone. Ginny had joined her and was talking about how excited she was for the snowball fight Gryffindor house had challenged Slytherin for. Hermione did not even have to look who then sat down next to her, because her heart gave a  strange, unpleasant jump. Harry.

"Good morning!" he grinned. Ginny simply returned the greeting. Hermione bit her tongue and managed a weak smile.

~The old wound left on me
begins to ache,
I hide my trembling heart again
and pretend to smile~

Ron joined the table almost at the same time, but the time between the moment Harry had greeted and the moment he joined, seemed to as long as forever to Hermione. Thank God, she thought, they weren't asking how she felt.

Ginny and Ron couldn't stop talking about the snowfight and Harry was staring at his pumpkinjuice with great interest. "Why isn't it orange?" he suddenly asked her.

"Hmmm?" Hermione replied with such a tone as if she had just been woken up.

"Why isn't it orange? The pumpkinjuice I mean. Pumpkins are orange, why isn't the juice?" Harry asked again.

Hermione stared blankly at the juice in the glass. "Uhmm..." she tried, but the words didn't come.

"Because they made it another color, that's why. Now, drink it up and come outside!" Ron urged.

Harry drank the juice without paying anymore attention to Hermione, who was still staring at him with a blank expression and followed Ron and Ginny outside.

"Come on, Hermione!" yelled Ginny at her and she teared her eyes off of the now empty air in front of her.

"I'll be right there!" she replied and stood up, making sure Harry had already left the Hall before she walked towards Ginny.

~Even in my age now, I'm the same as before
As timid as before
I only learn how to pretend to be strong~

Outside, the illuminated white snow had been removed from the paths. Hermione followed Ginny towards a huge heap of snow, behind which Harry, Ron, Seamus and Dean were hiding. Hermione had no time to wonder why they were hiding, because at that exact moment, someone hit her with a snowball on the back of her head.

Harry laughed at her. She became red. Great, she thought, I get hit in front of him of all people! She turned around, looking into the face of Crabbe. Or Goyle. She could never keep them apart.

"CRABBE!" shouted Draco, "get your butt over here!"

Oh, so it was Crabbe, though Hermione. Well, Mr. Crabbe had better do as Draco ordered, because she was going to get her revenge. Being around Harry all day was embarrassing enough and being embarrassed in front of him was even worse!

Another snowball came her direction. This time she was prepared and she duck aside.

"THANK YOU ... !" she heard Ron growl behind her. 

She turned round. "No problem!" she replied cheerfully. Boy, was she feeling charged right now.

Ron hit her in the face with a snowball that had been meant for Draco. "Ha! Ha!" he added triumphantically.  His victory didn't last long enough for him to enjoy it much, because he got hit in the face as well, by Harry.

"That is for being such a git. Hermione's one of our team, remember?" he added.

Hermione surpressed a shriek, but in the same time she hiccoughed, giving as result a strange, high noise. She wanted to say 'thank you' or at least 'thanks', but all she could do was make funny noises and stare into the complete opposite direction.

~Though my heart is filled with feelings to convey
You see, I can't change them into words well~

Ron stared at Harry with a blank expression and threw a snowball into Goyle's direction. He missed. Seamus and Dean had made a huge snowball together, large enough to fully cover one person in length and they lifted it together, ready to throw it at Draco, when suddenly Ron tripped after getting hit. He fell and took Dean and Seamus with him, causing the large snowball to fly out of their hands and land on top of Harry and Hermione, who both were completely focused in staring at the distance.

Hermione wanted to cry out 'NO!' but her voice was muffled by the snow. Harry covered his face with his arms just in time.

Hermione quickly tried to push away the snow that lay on top of her, but it was surprisingly heavy. She then came to realise, Harry had fallen on top of her and she started to hyperventilate.

"No ... no, no, no!" she repeated, while pushing off the snow and suddenly Harry's face became visible. His eyes seem to penetrate hers and she shook her head fanatically, while crawling away from him.

Harry stood up and shook off the snow. He stared at Hermione with a puzzled expression, unsure why she had reacted that way.

Hermione did not stare back at him and began talking to Ginny about the weather. Curse you, Hermione Jane Granger! she told herself, trying to ignore the fact that Harry was still staring at her.

~If I had not met you
I wouldn't even have such an embarrassing pain ~

She quickly ended the conversation with the bemused Ginny and made her way back inside Hogwarts as fast as she was possible. She tried to think of one of those unimportant topics she was ponding about at night, but all she could think of was Harry and the fact he had just been on top of her. Together with a large amount of snow. She angrily entered the dormitories where she fell on her bed. Hopeless.

After a while, she got bored just thinking about how hopeless the situation was and she discovered the left window had a perfect view on the snowfight.

Suddenly, she sat up straight. Someone, a girl, was attacking Harry by putting a lot of snow in his hair. She blinked and narrowed her eyes. The girl was Cho Chang.

~Little by little, I've come to realize
 that it's no use
fearing a future I can't refuse ~

Hermione sighed and sank back onto her bed. So, here she was. The big baby. The goody-two-shoes, while Cho was having fun with Harry. Cho, of all girls in the world it had to be Cho. Another sigh escaped her lips and she closed her eyes for a split second. What was she going to do when she saw him again, later this day? Had he even noticed she had left so quickly because of him? Had he even noticed she had started a completely random conversation with Ginny?

Did she have the courage to face him again? Maybe she had to act as if she was completely unaware of the whole situation. She stared into the mirror. Could she? Could she pretend as if there had happened nothing?

If she had such courage, wouldn't it be wiser to tell him her true feelings?

~How much more courage do I need
To say with my head held high
"This is the only important thing to me" ?~

 Angry, she threw her pillow against the opposite wall. It wouldn't matter anyway, because she was Hermione Granger, best friend of Harry Potter, one of the trio, certainly not more than a friend. Well, one friend she was! Lately, she had only been running, stumbling and making mistakes, in everything and really opposite of her usual personality.

Never tell him, she told herself, it will only make things worse. With a last look at of the window, she left the room for the Library, trying to pick up her old habbit of being 'just Hermione, best friend of Harry Potter', the girl who did not run, did not stumble and did not make mistakes.

~Though I have firm feelings
You see, I can't change them into words as usual ~

Harry entered the Gryffindor common room, expecting to find Hermione there. He didn't and so he left again.

~Everyone is living this way
With feelings they can't express ~

A/N: First chapter people! Let me know what you think! Next chapter up in a few days! - Nanja