Author's Note: So if anyone notices the title of the story changed that's because I was contacted about how having a curse word in the title (the name of the song) is a bit of a no no... Awkward. Anyway I changed it and to anyone familiar with the song it's nothing drastic; I just used the first line in the main chorus of the song which luckily enough fits with the story anyways. Sorry about any confusion to previous readers, this is indeed the same story!

Edited 9/20/15

Quinn groaned when she realized she had forgotten her phone. She was not looking forward to taking her pregnant body back up the three flights of stairs to the apartment she shared with Rachel. It had taken a ridiculously long time to find a place that they could both agree on. Sometimes late at night when she was trying to sleep she imagined she could still hear an echo of Rachel's lectures on the necessities for the perfect living space in which they could live.

Even as she turned to slowly head back up the stairs cursing the broken elevator she couldn't help but feel the familiar flood of warmth rushing through her at the thought of sharing an apartment with Rachel. Their relationship was still new, and to many of their fellow glee clubbers made little sense but she cherished it and did her best to focus on how lucky she was to have been forgiven and accepted by the incredible girl who quickly became the most important person in her life.

Quinn had thought her life was over in summer after graduating high school when she learned of her pregnancy. Even almost 8 months later she still couldn't remember much of that night aside from wine coolers, awkward fumbling, a stinging pain, waking up next to Puck the morning after and regret.

A fucking lot of regret.

The stress of it all, her parents constant fighting and subsequent divorce, her loneliness, and the ache of knowing that she could never have the one person she longed for had been too much. It all culminated in finding herself doing her best to drink herself into oblivion and numb it all for one night at one of Puck's summer bashes. At the time she thought it had been the worst mistake of her life. She thought she was ruined, how was she supposed to go to college now? Not to mention the inevitable fallout once her parents found out.

But now, even with the fear and the stress; and the shame she had felt towards herself at the time for resorting to alcohol to cope. Which brought unpleasant similarities between her and her father to surface she didn't care to think about, she still wouldn't change a thing.

How could she ever change anything when it had eventually lead to her getting together with Rachel? The woman she desired but feared she could never have, that she didn't deserve. Even now she marveled at how lucky she was. Lucky both that Rachel had reciprocated her feelings and that the beautiful diva had made the effort to understand her. Understand and forgive Quinn for all of the terrible things done during high school. Something Quinn still hadn't quite managed to forgive herself for no matter Rachel's understanding smile and the way she waved the whole thing away as if it were a non-issue as opposed to a systematic and cruel bullying campaign.

Absently rubbing her stomach as she reached the second floor she stopped to catch her breath. Being pregnant and living on the third floor did not mesh well together she thought ruefully.

She still remembered the conversation that changed her life forever, even if she hadn't realized it at the time. She doubted she'd ever forget it.

She had been crying in the bathroom of the mall. It had all hit her at once, the enormity of change her life would go through. The difficulties she would face as a consequence of one nights drunken unfulfilling stupidity. The worst part was that it didn't even help anything. She was still just as stressed from dealing with her parents and just as lonely as she was before and now she had Puck in her life trying to make some fucked up family with her. As though the fact she had been stupid enough to drink and he had been dumb enough to not wear a condom meant they should be together. The thought made her want to wretch. As she sat there on the floor hands clenched into fists on her head crying furiously and unable to stop she heard the sound of the door opening. Desperately trying to stop her tears before being seen she wasn't able to and only succeeded in making choking hiccuping noises.

"Quinn?"

Quinn froze. There was no way her life sucked this much. She clenched her eyes shut and prayed it was anyone else in the world who had walked in on her like this.

"Quinn…. are you alright?"

Fuck. Of course she wasn't that lucky. Slowly she opened her red rimmed eyes in an effort to delay the inevitable. It took her a few seconds for her eyes to focus past the tears and clearly see the worried brown eyes looking down on her. Of course it was Rachel. She stood in front of Quinn in a simple pair of jeans and a green coat. Her compassionate eyes looking down on her with worry lightly biting her lower lip. Quinn just stared unwilling to break the silence; half mortified to be caught like this by the person she cared so deeply for and half distracted as she often was when confronted by Rachel.

"Quinn are you okay?" Rachel asked gazing worriedly down to Quinn, wringing her hands nervously as she were physically holding herself back from hugging her and asking what was wrong.

Quin jolted and realized she had been staring at Rachel for close to a minute not saying anything. She opened her mouth to reply ...

Author Notes – The song used in this fic is "Shit, Man!" by Skylar Grey and as such does not belong to me. The acoustic version (not the one with Angel Haze) is the one I had in mind while writing this fic and really I am just sorta of writing this out because it's an idea that I've had kicking around for a while now and thought I'd try to get it in print. It will probably be a short story something like 2-4 chapters but I might eventually add more depending on response and if I feel I can add something meaningful to the story. This is really just an exercise to sort of get my feet wet as it were as I've just started posting stories recently.