Disclaimer: I am not Yoshihiro Togashi, therefore I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or any of its characters.

Pairing: Touya x Yukina

Rating: R – due to graphic violence, language, and sexual content.

Summary: Through Touya's point of view, you will learn of the often-tragic life he led –before the Dark Tournament. The story of the struggles and losses he was forced to deal with while living among the traitors of his world. Despite his escape, death seems the only course of contentment he has left to turn to, until he meets the strange girl he's been envisioning for the past year and half.

Author's Notes: I've been itching to write a fanfic about Touya for a while now; something about his character seems to fascinate me. Sexy Shionbi Boy. Yum. If you have any questions or comments, well you know the drill. Feedback makes for faster updates.

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His Hereafter Providence

::: Chapter I :::

Her Haunting Reminiscence

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Life is just a never-ending cycle of loneliness.

In life you're surrounded by selfish identities- people who only keep your company with the intentions of using and dropping you in the end.

You have no one but yourself to trust. Never confide in anyone, they don't care. Never give yourself to anyone, they don't want you. Never show love, it only leads to excess pain. Never show remorse, what's done is done.

...And never grow attached. Not to anything or anyone in this world. -Once you are emotionally involved, there will be no hope left to comfort yourself with.

We are destined to die in our own arms, the only arms that ever truly held us.

The next existence will be better; that is where my reliance lies.

-

-

I stood atop a familiar mountain ledge, mere inches away from its border of solid rock and the pureness of nothing but air. The air's wind encircled my presence, and in a moment of appreciation, I took in the freshness of its breeze.

I noticed the scent of casualties the wind must have picked up while traveling, forever journeying. You could hide nothing from the wind, it would always find you; however sheltered you thought your life to be.

Even in death, it would pass by just to wince at you. The smell of their dried blood was somehow comforting to me; it was such a familiar scent. I was fated to forever recognize it, but that wasn't something I frowned on.

It gave me wisdom. Everything I allow myself to grow accustomed to is another way of developing, learning to better survive in my ambiance. There had been a slaughter. Significant for the killers or a pointless murder?

I didn't care. Most people's actions are pointless, what's one more fruit fallen from the tree?

No one wants to pick up the fruit that had escaped on its own; they'd rather pick their own to tamper with- deciding for them- that is their time to go.

Enough. Pondering this life will not do any good, my thoughts have no power.

I leap off the edge, into the air; landing gracefully on a tree branch and making my way through the seemingly never ending forest- jumping from limb to limb. Time to return home.

An acquaintance spots me as I'm walking through the ruins that is my home. He shouts my name and I turn to him.

"Where have you been all day? Yah'know yah missed Reishyo's get together, he's not too happy with'yah." He spoke to me as if he were informing me of something I didn't already know.

I shrug and turn my back once more, but he attempts to further our conversation by jumping in front of me. – "Seriously! I wanna know wha'cha been up to, had to'uv been more fun than this crap." The friendly grin on his face came off as ignorant to me.

"Don't worry about it." I murmur and continue my pace, walking around the opposing figure.

I enter the shelter I have been seeking; to outsiders- it appears to be a cave of sorts. To us, it was home. My weakened body falls as I reach what I call my bed, a sound of exhaustion escapes my mouth and I shut my eyes.

I break away from the chains of this world once again, seeking refuge in my mind's imagery. However, something is odd...

Her face again, why do I continue to dream of her? Who is she? I ask her these questions and she only smiles, I go to touch her and can feel her soft, pale skin. I can sense her presence. But that's ridiculous because I know I am alone while I sleep, I'm not reaching to anyone.

She's doesn't exist, she's trapped in my world. I can see her lips moving, she's trying to tell me something. She smiles warmly at me, as if I can hear her- as if she thinks I understand. But I don't. I can hear other things, the sound of the water journeying, the insects playing their music.

But not her voice. I question and obsess over this fact, but can she hear me?

She stares at me with such compassion, as if she were reading my soul- learning and experiencing all the sorrows of my past.

She waves goodbye to me- she knows somehow that I'm about to leave her.

My body violently jerks its self up as my eyes flash open. I realize my bed feels wet; I'm drenched in my own sweat. I pant uncontrollably, as if I had been running for my life. Did I perhaps dream of being chased in such a manner?

No, I dreamt of her again. –Or do I not remember what came after this strange girl; had she had that much of an impact on my mind?

I have to remind myself again, enough. It's time to rise and face the day.

I wait to catch my breath, -then head out into the wilderness of my world.

I stand outside the cave, taking a whiff of the air to calm my nerves. It's hardly what I'd call fresh air, however better than that steamy cavern.

Reishyo will be expecting me, I remind myself.

And so I gather my thoughts and head forward, I know where to find him. As I pass by the tortured souls I live among I can tell they're staring at me; I keep my eyes fixated on my destination though. I don't want to look any of them in the eye.

I have grown and spent countless years surrounded by these people, yet they all remain strangers to me. I couldn't tell you any of their names, though they all know mine.

I prefer to keep it this way. They mean nothing to me, I mean nothing to them. I have no attachments, leaving here will be simple –when the time comes that is.

"Touya." I recognize his cold voice as he touches my shoulder; I flinch away –startled by his greeting.

"Do you not care anything for learning our team's strategy?" I despise that cynical tone he uses when he speaks directly to me.

I want to say something but I keep my mouth shut, sarcastic remarks will get me no where. Besides, he's not through lecturing me.

"You can't expect to achieve victory by skipping out on participation." He speaks with such pride, I see right through him though. He's only trying to intimidate me; those eyes are not the ones of a proud man.

"Win," I finally speak up, "Hardly what I'd call a strategy."

He raises a brow to me in disgust; I suppose he doesn't realize that I refuse to be treated lower class than him. His strength may surpass mine, but I am far more skilled in my element of choice and techniques.

His facial expression quickly changed. "Very cute Touya, I always did enjoy that sense of humor of yours." He rests his hand on my shoulder, leaning in to whisper in my ear- "I don't think they'll ever forgive you."

My eyes widen as a reflex to his words, I turn to face him.

"What are you—" Before I can finish my sentence, he directs my vision toward a family whose eyes seem to be staring at me. Their glares cease my confusion and guilt returns to me once again.

I turn to face Reishyo, even his stare shames me. I irritably hide my face and turn away from them, walking further into the distance than I had intended to.

Why must I be consumed by these things called emotions? Why must the way I feel fuel my actions? It was not my intention for Miyoko to follow us that day; I should not feel responsible for a naïve child's mistake.

So...enough then. Stop this foolish remorseful thinking.

I will continue walking, though I can hear Reishyo shout something to me –I will act as though I were already too far away to hear him. His words mean nothing to me.

My eyes deceive me as I believe to see a ghost of her petite-child figure dancing to long forgotten music of our inhabitants. She loved to dance.

I can hear her laughter echoing in the wind, and that sweet small voice.

-

"Touya-kun!" Miyoko called out as she ran towards me, cheering and waving a flower in the air.

She jumped into my arms as I greeted her, "Mimi-chan!" I smiled.

"I picked this for you, Touya-kun!" She cheered, longing for my approval –urging for me to applaud her effort. I found it cute, how proud she was over such a simple thing as picking a flower. Of course flowers were hard to come by, they could be considered extremely rare even in the spring.

"Wow, all by yourself?" I asked, though I knew the answer.

"Yes! I swear nobody helped me!" She beamed, placing the flower behind my ear as she remained supported off the ground in my arms. "It looks good, keep it there."

I paused, shifting my eyes to the plant -"I don't know.. I think we need a second opinion." I teased her, tickling her belly.

She struggled not to laugh, folding her arms grumpily, "Fine, let's go ask!"

"Reishyo-sama! Come! Come see!" Miyoko called out across the field, Reishyo turned his head to face us. Obviously irritated by her request, he proceeded to walk toward us.

"What is that you want, child?" He questioned, aggravated.

Miyoko giggled and whispered something in my ear, I could roughly make-up what she said though, "Doesn't my flower look pretty, Reishyo?" I asked sarcastically.

He raised an eye-brow of uncertainty, seeming to be debating on whether or not I was serious. – "Yes Touya, your flower is...very pretty." He returned my sarcasm.

Miyoko clapped her hands in amusement, "See Touya?" she giggled.

"Yeah, I guess you were right." I congratulated her, lifting her up on my shoulder. I began to slowly walk away, opposite of Reishyo- whispering, "His opinion doesn't really count though." I attempted tickle her belly once again, as a reaction the most adorable laugh I had ever heard bursted out from her. So innocent.

I could tell she looked up to me, she would always get excited whenever I came around to visit her or whenever I agreed to taking her to the grounds I used for training.

She and her family had seen many tragic times, two years prior they had lost Miyoko's eldest brother, Ryo. Not only that, but Miyoko was forced to watch his death. He'd been ambushed and slaughtered by some low-class-demon scum while walking with his little sister one day, she watched helplessly as they tore her brother apart.

She looks to me as a replacement of sorts; I suppose the presence of an older male-role model comforts her.

Out of all the low-lives I am forced to associate with, I enjoy her company the most. If there was one thing she learned from me, it was to believe in honor; without honor only came shame. The more honorable your deeds, the higher you could raise your head.

"I love you, Touya-kun."

-

I had been so engrossed in my trance; I hadn't noticed that I had stopped moving. I looked around, curious where I had wandered off to. I knew where I was.

I felt at ease by the solitude of my location. I was alone, the bliss of tranquility. My eyes soared up above me to the mountain I had been meditating atop the day before.

I was fine where I was however, and sat down. Shaded by the mountain's long, thick ledge, I could smell the rain. When did I learn to do that?

I rest my head against the hard rock and shut my eyes, relaxing all my senses.

I'll get myself away from this place soon enough, the Dark Tournament is only a few weeks away after all. Just a few more weeks of training –and I'm free. I'll be much better off without these wretched souls clouding my judgment, and I'm sure they'll all be much better off without me. No more painful memories when I look at their faces and no more of the same when they see mine.

Miyoko and I will be nothing but ghosts of the past.

-

I sat contently atop a random rooftop watching as small crowds seemed to rush to some random house in what these people dared called a town, barbaric village was a more suiting title. I raised an eyebrow out of curiosity. What's all this about? I wasn't interested nor was I bored enough to join these fools in their gathering, so I remained sitting. I had spotted Jin near the house not much earlier, associating with someone equal to his caliber. My eyes searched hastily for him among the other nameless faces, I didn't have anyone close enough to ever consider a 'friend'. To me, they were all acquaintances; Jin was one of my betters ones.

I finally noticed him smirking and waving his hand at me like a fool, I raised a brow again –this time out of ill feeling and slight embarrassment for his little friend. He shrugged off the look I threw him and continued his conversation; I rolled my eyes. Curiosity got the better of me, or shall we say boredom as I leapt down off the roof and approached Jin.

"I didn't think you were comin' down." Jin laughed mindlessly.

"So what's going on?" I questioned, eager to cease my inquisitiveness.

His associate spoke out, "Mihoko is having her baby."

My puzzled expression quickly faded to a dull one, "Is that it? All these people making such a big deal over such a simple thing."

Jin shrugged, the reaction I had expected from him. "Aye, you try givin' birth to a wee-one and then tell me its no big deal!" His attempted at making a joke failed due to the lack of laughter.

We could hear Mihoko's struggles and cries from where we stood, I felt Jin tap me shoulder. I faced him and he motioned for us to take a look inside. No sooner had we forced our through the crowd than no sooner could we hear the newborn's first moans and cries upon entering this world. Jin and I stood close to Mihoko, getting our first glances at the child.

Wow, so tiny. Ugly little thing, though I probably looked the same.

"Look how little the lass is." Jin whispered, smiling and speaking as if he'd never seen a newborn baby before.

I heard one woman exclaim rather loudly, rather rudely, "I didn't think babies could be so small!" And another one –"Maybe something's wrong." I rolled my eyes.

I noticed Ryo, Mihoko's eldest son, sneer at the women as he approached his new little sister. Though Mihoko and I shared a somewhat friendly relationship, Ryo and I had a sort of unspoken rivalry between us; we'd never gotten along. He was a decent individual though. He kept a lot to himself, sort of like me.

"You doin' okay?" He smiled tenderly at his mother, and she nodded in response. Ryo slowly lifted the baby up and placed it gently in Mihoko's arms. You could tell how worn out she felt just by the look in her sea-green eyes, her long brown locks were tangled and drenched in sweat –but her expression also told that it was worth the struggle. She was a kind woman, probably the most unselfish I knew. She would do and go through anything for the sake of her loved ones.

"What's her name?" A random soul called out.

Mihoko smiled warmly at her daughter, seeming to be deep in thought –she whispered, "Miyoko."

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