I'm a huge TVD fan, and I'm Team Stelena. This is my first fan fiction ever, I've always wanted to write one, and finally I did.
It's a one shot on my version of things after Damon and Elena kissed on 3x10. I hope you like it =)
Please review and let me know what you think.
P.S. if you're team Delena I don't think you'll like it!

"You should know this Elena, Stefan didn't screw us over. He screwed us over but he had a good reason "
"what ? "
"He saved Klaus to save me. And then he stole the coffins to get even "
"Damon , if he did it to protect you then why would he even do that , I mean … What does that even mean ?"
"It means I'm an idiot, because I thought for one second that I wouldn't have to feel guilty "
"What are you talking about? Guilty for what?"
"For wanting what I want "
"Damon… "
"I know, believe me I get it, brother's girl "

Elena was replaying the whole thing in her mind like it's a video tape , she replayed everything until before the kiss . If only he did leave after saying she's his brother's girl. Why did he have to turn around? Why did she allow him to kiss her like that? What was wrong with her?

She felt so guilty. How will she look in Stefan's eyes knowing what she did? Yes, everyone is convinced that Stefan is really gone, that Stefan will never be like he used to. But he did save Damon when he was compelled, that meant that he still cared, Right? What if he came to her and told her that he wants her back? Would she say no? Of course not, even after everything he did, she still cared for him. He will always be the one for her. She still had hope!

But what was she feeling for Damon? It could be just physical attraction because well he is hot. But could she have real feelings for him other than friendship? She knew for a fact that she didn't love him like she loves Stefan .But if Stefan really is gone , wouldn't he want her to move on ?Wouldn't he want her to be happy again ? Damon kind of made her happy, he also made her feel safe and she could trust him now. He changed. He really did.

Another voice in Elena's head was yelling at her. Did he really change? Because what he did today is just what old Damon would do. He would kiss his own brother's girlfriend, or ex-girlfriend, when he knows it would hurt his brother so much!

Elena looked at the clock next to her, it was 3:14 in the morning and she still couldn't sleep. Her mind wouldn't shut up. She decided to get up and do some morning exercises. Because it was obvious that no sleep would come any time soon.

She exercised, and then had a shower. One thing the shower did was clear her mind a little bit, enough for her to know what she was going to do today. She got dressed and went down to the kitchen to drink some coffee to get her through the day.

She sat out on the porch not wanting to wake Alaric up , and dialed a number she hadn't called in a very long time .

Stefan was in his room trying to figure out what more he could do to get rid of Klaus, he wanted him dead. He needed him dead. He couldn't stand the idea that Elena will always be in danger of losing so much blood because Klaus needs it for his super loyal hybrids. He couldn't stand the idea that Klaus won't hesitate to harm her if he needs Stefan to do something. But that wasn't what hurt him so much, what hurt him was the fact that Elena hated him, even though he was doing all this to keep her safe. What hurt him was that his own brother doesn't trust him anymore even though the reason behind all this was to pay the price for saving him. But one thing's for sure, he could never regret saving his brother although it meant scarifying his relationship with Elena , he knew that if he could take it back he wouldn't because even after all those years , he still feels responsible for bringing Damon into this dreadful life , and he would always try to somehow make it better . He just wanted to kill Klaus so that he could be with Elena again.

Elena , Elena , his strong confident little princess , how much he wished he could tell her he loves her one more time , or kiss her , or look into her eyes . But he couldn't because if he wanted his plan against Klaus to work, he has to make sure that no one knows how much he still cares, and even if that means he will suffer alone while everyone accuses him of betrayal, he didn't mind as long as everyone else is safe. As long as she is safe.

Suddenly his phone rang, he looked to see who it was , and he couldn't believe his eyes , he must be dreaming . She can't be calling him.

"Elena?"
He sounded surprised, extremely surprised. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as some memories made their way to her mind .She took a deep breath to calm herself.
"Um... Yeah, hi Stefan "
"Hey Elena, what do I owe this amazing phone call? "
He let his guard back up, she could feel it from the way he was talking, from the way he said her name.
"Can we meet today? I need to talk to you "
There was a long pause on the other end, she began regretting calling him.
"Why? You wanna introduce me to your new boyfriend?"
God, she hated this Stefan. But she couldn't help but wonder if he could he possibly know about the kiss.
"No, Stefan! I wanted to … uhh never mind, just forget it "
She was about to hang up on him , when she heard him laugh quietly .
"Always self conscious, aren't you Elena?"
She stayed quiet but he spoke again.
"To answer you, yes we can meet today. How about we meet at the lake house at about 3?"
Her breath caught when he said the lake house, she didn't want to ruin the old happy memories she had there with a new bad one.
"Couldn't you just come over?"
"Ok fine, whatever suits you "
" Then I'll see you today"

As soon as she hung up, she realized what she was planning to do, and she started freaking out. It's good she had 6 hours till their appointment. She needed to get some things organized. First, she had to make sure Alaric and Jeremy were both not in the house. Second she had to occupy Damon with something so he wouldn't come over or call her which will only make things worst. And last but definitely not least, she had to decide what exactly she was going to tell him and how.

What does she want? Stefan thought. Maybe she wanted to get back together with him; maybe she wanted to kiss him and hug him and tell him everything is okay. Stefan laughed bitterly at those thoughts , of course Elena didn't call him to take him back , she wanted to see him to tell him that she's moving on , that she found someone , that this someone makes her happy , and no matter what he can't stop her , she deserves to be happy and to be loved . No, not to be loved but to feel loved. He will always love her even if she never knows.

Time was moving by so quickly! It's already 2 and the only thing Elena did was calling Damon, Caroline and Bonnie and asking them not to come over today because she had to focus on her studies, and strangely they believed also made sure that Jermey was out with some friends and Alaric was on a date . But she still hadn't decided what she's going to tell him, or how to tell him. She knew she had to tell him about the kiss and about how Damon makes her feel , she wanted to confront him about how bad he's become and how much she wishes she could be with him but can't . About how sometimes there's a voice inside her telling her that Stefan still cares, but his actions make it clear he doesn't.

At exactly 3, Stefan was at The Gilbert's doorstep ringing the bell. Elena took a deep breath and opened the door, and there he was as beautiful as ever, with his dark blue trousers and blue shirt, with his full lips that had kissed her lips thousand times, that had whispered I Love You at the right times, those lips … Elena made herself stop staring at his lips and look at his eyes to show him that she's confident. God … His eyes are beautiful, she had forgotten how gorgeous his eyes were, deep green eyes with tall brown eyelashes. STOP! She ordered herself. Focus, you invited him.

"Stefan, you came"
"I said I was coming didn't I? "
"Yes, you did. Come on in. "
The way they spoke made Elena feel so sad, they were talking in a very formal way . And it hurt her so much to remember how they used to be.
They reached the living room. she turned around to tell him to have a seat when she found him looking at her upside down , That's when she noticed that she had no idea what she was wearing , she was so focused on what to tell him that she forgot to change her PJs . She was wearing shorts and a tank top, Ugh! How could she forget to change?
"Take a seat " She forced a smile, and tried to be as friendly as possible.
"Thanks Elena. Aren't you being a great host?"
Deep Breaths, Elena. Don't let him get to you!
"What a lovely compliment Stefan. You're as sweet as always "She tried to make it sound sarcastic as much as she can. She knew it worked because Stefan rolled his eyes and said "Jee. Thanks Elena, you're making me blush"

She rolled her eyes and took a seat; he did the same and sat as far away from her as possible in this small room.

"So, now that we've established that you're a great host and I'm a great guy, can you tell me what you want?" He was trying to seem careless, like he wasn't dying to know what she wants. But she could see right through him.

"Well, I guess I wanted to talk to you about us and … "She couldn't look him in the eye while she said this" I just wanted a closure, so I wouldn't feel guilty about … doing something"

"You don't have to feel guilty about doing anything, you're a free woman and I'm not your father so you can do whatever you want"

"Stefan, I'm serious! Can you please not pretend like we don't have a past? I'm trying to be an adult about all this and you're not making it any easier!"

"Ok fine, what do you want me to say? "

"I don't want you to say anything , just listen to me and when I'm done tell me what you're thinking without editing it and adding snarky comments , Just be Stefan for a few minutes . Can you do that? "

He stayed quiet thinking about what she said while trying to stay cool, uncaring Stefan . "I don't know what you mean about being Stefan, the last time I checked I was Stefan "

"God! Come on Stefan, you can fool everyone but you can't fool me! So just answer me can you or can't you? For old times' sake?"

He took a deep breath "Ok, fine, I'll do my best"

Moment of truth Elena thought before she started : "I have to tell you something just to get it off my chest .Ok , so... yesterday after Damon drove me home, we were at the porch talking and then I don't know how exactly, we kissed. And um... I just felt you should know considering that… "Elena couldn't continue, he was looking at her in a way that made her heart ache, he was almost crying. But why? He said he doesn't care and she's free to do anything she wants. Why does he look this way?

Stefan didn't know what to do, it's the past repeating itself all over again. Except that this time Elena told him right after it had happened. He appreciated her honesty, but how could she? She knew what Damon did with Katherine years ago, she knew how hurt Stefan was the first time and yet she's doing it again. He never thought Elena could hurt him like this, but she did. He couldn't blame Damon because this is who Damon is and he'll always be the same. But Elena … that was a shock!

"Stefan, say something"

He realized he'd been staring at her for a long time, he had to say something. But he can't lie to her when he's not thinking clearly.

"Thank you for telling me but I have to go"

He got up to leave without even looking at her.

"Stefan, wait! You said you'll tell me what you're thinking and now you're leaving? You're supposed to at least keep your word!" Elena was yelling now. He can't just leave after her saying something like that. He can't.

Stefan turned around and looked at her, he knew she was right. He has to tell her what he's thinking; he owes her at least that.

"Elena, I can't tell you what I'm really thinking because then I'll be breaking all my rules. I'll be ruining everything I've been working on for the past couple of months. I can't show you I care! Don't you get it, Elena? I wish I could but I can't! If I could I'd tell you how much I wish those months were just a bad dream, how much knowing that you kissed my brother hurts me , how much it reminds me of Damon and Katherine and how they betrayed me , how much I wish I could hug you and kiss you , how much I love you . But Elena I can't!"

Elena stared at him, waiting for him to say something else that explains what he just said something that made sense! But he kept looking at her like it's her turn for speaking. Her mind was blank, she couldn't think about anything to say. He moved closer to her, so close that their noses were almost touching, so close that she could feel his warm breath on her lips, so close that if she moves the tiniest bit their lips would touch. Her heart was beating so fast that he could hear it. He didn't know what he was doing , he didn't know what made him do this after all the things he did to keep her safe , after everything he said to make everyone believe that he stopped caring , yet here he was breaking all the rules he set and doing what his heart wants .

"I can't Elena "he whispered "But I want to because I do love you, and as much as this complicates things, it's still true. I lo… "She cut him off with a kiss.

His heart almost jumped out of his chest, she kissed him, she really kissed him after everything that had happened in the past couple of months! Oh God did it feel good … He missed this so much. They kissed for a few moments .She was really enjoying the feeling of his lips on hers, of his hands on her waist, of his soft hair on her hands. She hadn't realized how much she'd missed him until this second.

She broke the kiss and looked into his eyes "Stefan… I'm sorry for everything I did , you've always been there for me and I should've been there for you in your darkest times , I shouldn't have let you face it on your own , I shou… ""Shh..." He silenced her with a quick kiss .He looked deep into her beautiful brown eyes to make sure she was listening "I don't blame you for what you did, you did what you had to do, you moved on. You did the right thing, and if there's anyone who should be apologizing it's me "She put her hand on his lips."Don't … You were being the hero that I always knew you were. I guess I never thought that having a hero as a boyfriend can be a bad thing , because that was one of the many reasons I loved you "

She said Loved you ! Those last two words hurt him more than anything else she could've said . Stefan felt his heart break into pieces, he couldn't look her in the eye. Elena didn't realize what she'd said until she saw the look on his face, he was hurting so much. He was trying to hide it but she knew him more than anyone else. She titled his face back up and said "And I still do. I still love you Stefan and I always will"

The End .