Lately i've been stuck on gakuen alice, which impeded me from posting this. good news i caught up. bad news, i read 134 chapters over 3 days in the course of about 18-20 hours. which is sad... otherwise it's a good manga. more bad news is that i've actually read so much manga/watched so much anime that i figured out what type of boy i LIKE, which is sad, considering i have never had a boyfriend and none of the boys in my skool are cute (that i know of). and then (of course!) my friend texts me, so we talk a bit. and he reccomends a song from a game he's been playing. he loves it and since its in japanese (he knows about my japanese song obssession. wat? its good music!) so at first its like "meh" and now, i'm addicted to it. so that impeded some more posting time. now that i've finished my rant, i dont own fma/fmab (oh how i wish i did) and sorry for gramatical/spelling errors. its winter break. i'm about as lazy as shikamaru. only instead of watching clouds, i'm staring at my ceiling... (i.e. im SOOO BORED OUT OF MY MIND IM GOING INSANE!) on with the story! (as i will mention several times later on because i'm just that weird, no i'm trying to avoid getting killed...)
How to get Yourself Killed by an FMA Character, or at least piss 'em off somehow…
and Maybe Some Results From the "Experiments" To See If It Worked
Ed:
Calling him small/shrimp/etc. works pretty well
Key for this story: the main character speaks (Ed in this case)
I am speaking
The results of the torture-thingie… err…*dances and sings carmarell dansen* ON WITH THE STORY!"What the hell do you mean by that?"
I mean you're short you egotistical moron.
*CLAP*
*holds up hand* Hold it. Before you do something to me with your alchemy what would your fans say?
"Who cares. I'm going to have fun doing something awful to you! *hiss*"
"Uhuh… So what has caused such a huge insecurity about your, er… Size?
"DON'T YOU DARE START TRYING TO ACT LIKE A PSYCHOLOGIST!"
"You're very violent, what do you think causes this?"
"YOU!"
"I'm sorry but I don't cause it. Maybe it's all the pent up anger from when Winry hits you… Yes… That might be it"
"What?"
"Huh? Oh sorry rambling. Ha ha ha! Silly me." *slaps self upside the head lightly*
"Did… Did you just say Winry was the cause of my anger?"
"Yes?"
"SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS ME! YIPPEE!"
*anime sweat drop/glasses partly fall off face* "Err… Alright you may leave now Edward…"
"Really?"
"Yes of course, don't forget to tell Winry to come to my office tomorrow!"
"Yes ma'am!" *closes SOUNDPROOF door*
"Good god… What the heck just happened? Ed might as well have admitted he likes Winry when he started blushing after I said her name 'accidentally'. Ah Well… Oh dear. Winry's coming tomorrow… Crap…" *sticks head out of door* "Hey Rose, could you by any chance come in tomorrow as well?"
"Sure, but… Why?"
"Weeellll… Winry's coming tomorrow and I don't exactly feel like doing a weapons search before she comes in. So I was wondering if you could do it since she trusts you more."
"I could just ask her to leave her gear home. I'll tell her there's no one here has automail and everything was just inspected."
"Thanks Rose!"
"Anytime. But please… Don't tie her hands down when she starts talking about Ed. Tying her hands down somehow gives her extra strength to break free… Just give her something that she can take her anger out on that's not Ed… I don't think our budget covers the chairs in your office."
"That's true. Actually… I'm going to go downtown…"
"Why?"
"To get some insurance on my mahogany chairs… I really like those chairs…"
Ok so that was an epic fail. It turned into a therapy session… NEXT TOPIC! *happy dance*
Dress up as his dad and say hi to him
Do I really need to make a story for this? I mean it's pretty obvious what chaos will happen… Use your imaginations. Think of what that poor person will have to go through. (In other words I'm too lazy to make a character from FMA suffer since I need them to live for my stories.) So we will skip to the next topic. Say it with me Y-A-Y!~ Dontcha just love my *cough* sarcasm *cough* humor?
Steal his stuff
Key for this story: main character speaking
Me speaking
Fan girls
Time Frame
Referred to person. Most likely the character will be implied by the next statement. Anyway ON WITH THE TORTURE! *sadistic maniacal laugh*
"Yo! Fan girls of Edward Elric, we have banded here today to see the great Full-Metal Alchemist! Thank you for coming. We will get started when he walks out. Please hold your excitement in until after he realizes we are here."
10 Hours Later
"Psst. Maes. You gotta get me out of here! There's a mob of fan girls outside! They'll kill me!
"Ed! How are you? Have I shown you my new pictures of Elysia yet? This one is her on my lap in the car and this on-
"MAES!"
"Ah Roy, how are you? Is it time to go back to the office yet? Hey Ed want to come wi- Where'd he go? Huh… Oh well. Let's go Roy." *walks out of library*
"WHERE'S ED?"
"Ah you are the fan girls he told me about… I actually don't know where he went. I think he's still in the library. He's been looking for you all.
"REALLY? EEEE!" *stampede into library screaming*
"My, my, my. What a good disguise Ed."
"How'd ya know?"
"Your hair/bang thing was sticking up behind Maes."
"Ah there you are Ed! I didn't get a chance to show you this picture of Elysia at a park! Isn't she cute in that dress? Oh what about this picture, she's-
Mustang could you please get Ed home safely? Preferably BEFORE the fan girls realize he's not in the library?
"Why should I?"
"I'll tell Riza you're not doing paperwork. Or I'll go get my own gun and shoot you.
*gulp* "You. You wouldn't do that right? I mean I would LOVE to go out on a… date… with… You're going to kill me if I say I'm referring to you aren't you…
"Yup. So start getting Ed away and I won't tell Riza about your lack of paperwork and your crush on a certain person."
*splutter* "I. I don't. I'm not in love with Riza!"
"I never said anything about Riza, did I Ed?"
"Nope!"
"You… You guys are crazy! And YOU! You're a sadistic devil!"
*evil smile* "Why thank you. Now run along. Oh Ed can I have your jacket?"
"Why?"
"Do you want them chasing after you?
"0.0 Not really…" *tosses jacket at me*
"Good bye. Now to brave the fan girls… Wait… Why am I doing this?"
HEY THAT CHICK HAS ED'S JACKET! ATTACK!
"Ooh… I'm in huuuge doo… Umm… Here's the jacket! I. I ripped it off him for you when he was running away towards Ishval(a?)!"
"ED COME BACK TO US!"
"What a bunch of crazies… At least I got out alive. Hmm… ACK! I WAS SUPPOSED TO STEAL SOMETHING FROM HIM! Well that was a lost cause… -_- Maybe I'll have better luck next time…"
… I mean no off ense to any Ed fans or any fans of another sort. Sigh…Yet another epic fail… I think I need to rethink these ideas… On second thought I'll keep the stories. They seem funny. Anyway. ON TO! DUN DUN DUN! *fanfare/ etc. etc.* THE NEXT *hack!* sorry about that. THE NEXT T- Oh hi! What are you doing here Al?
I'm here to help you introduce your next topic, nee-san!
Al… Al, Al, Al… How many times must I tell you?
"Tell me what?"
"I'm not your nee-san. Technically you are my nii-san. 'Cuz I'm sure as heck not older then you…"
"Ok. So now we have the next topic. Me! YAY! *does happy dance*
"Al… Can I ask you something?
"Yes?"
"You usually aren't so willing to do something like this, especially when it comes to your brother…
"Oh… You'll see" ^_^
*worried look* So on to our next topic!
Talk to Al. He'll have better ideas…
Key for this story: me~ (my thoughts) Al~
"Al if you would be so kind as to share with us how to upset your brother (since my ideas have failed miserably…)"
"Well. You kinda already covered them. Those are his greatest pet peeves…"
"Thank you Al. (I'm free. I'M FREE OF THIS WRETCHED TOPIC! J/K I'm just done writing about Ed… T-T the amount I have to do… makes me cry!)"
"Ano… Why are you crying?"
"Huh? Oh no reason. (Just the fact that I have more stuff to type! T-T)"
"… You're crying even more now… Ne, are you sure you're ok?
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine (SOB! Ok. Get ahold of yourself. The quicker you type it up the less you have to do. Breathe in. breathe out.)
"YAY! You're calming down! I thought I made you cry for a moment."
*starts crying hysterically again* "(I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO GET YOU MAD!)
"Oh no. I didn't mean to say that. Don't start crying again! Please!"
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *tears streaming down cheeks*"
"I didn't mean it! Umm… What do I do… What do I do…?" *runs around freaking out like that time in FMA (not brotherhood) that Ed and Al had to deliver a baby for the first time*
"(How interesting… Maybe I can use this for Al's portion… No. I can't. It's not doing anything besides make him freak out… HEY! Maybe I can get him to give me a GIANT chocolate chip cookie!)"
"Is there ANYTHING I can do? Please oh please stop crying!"
"Nnn… Can I pwease have a choc-chippie cookie? Pwease onii-san?"
"Give me a couple minutes, let's see what your nii-san can do to get a cookie." *runs out of studio looking for a cookie*
"Sigh, I love being the author… What a long cry fest… Eesh… I think next time I'll ask for peach cobbler. Yuuummmmm."
The End
~New Chapter means new Character~
A/N: hope you enjoyed. i sure didn't. i think this was crap. so please review, flames must have a reason, thank you for your time yadda yadda yadda, bye~
~Kaida-chan out!~
