Heyo :3

Haven't written in like 3 days ! OMG !

Haven't had any inspiration !

I found a little inspiration in the singer Demi Lovato.

This is another self harm/suicide story.

I did not come up with the list, I give full credit to whoever did, I don't know, my friend sent it to me.

I hope that if you self harm this helps you.

Hope you enjoy and please REVIEW ! ;)

Stay Strong

Stay Strong... Those were Maka's first thoughts before she used the razor to cut her beautiful skin. She winced in pain, but slowly found comfort in it.

This was the first time Maka had done something like this.

To her friends, she made them think she had a perfect life.

To her partner Soul, well, even he couldn't see through the fake smile she had been wearing for years.

Her parents were divorced, and most people knew that, but they never realized how she really dealt with it. Most of the time she would work herself to death by running, or going to the gym for extensive amounts of time. It worked for a long time, but lately she began to feel more and more stress and the death runs weren't working anymore. She decided to try something she had been wanting to do for a very long time, but was too afraid. She wanted to cut herself, and on this night she did. This is only the beginning of a long and painful road for Maka Alburn, but their may be one hope left for her. A boy she had known for a long time, someone she trusted. He would be her light at the end of the tunnel.

After the first day there were three cuts on her wrist, so no one really noticed. The next day, there were five. No one but her partner Soul knew what it meant. He knew what she was doing, because he had tried it once as well, but stopped himself before it got too serious. He now could see what she had been hiding, and at that very moment, he intended to stop her.

"Hey, Maka." Soul said as he approached his mister.

"Hey !" She said smiling.

"You know that big test we are having tomorrow?" He asked her.

"Yeah." She replied not knowing where this conversation was going.

"Well, can I come over today and study with you?" He asked.

Maka was slightly shocked because, she knew that Soul didn't care at all about his grades, but she took this as a 'I am ready to study and make myself useful!' thing, not knowing that he was really planning to confront her about what she was getting herself into so she said,

"Sure ! Around 4:00 maybe?"

"Yeah, that'd be great." He replied. Pleased that she didn't question him. Phase 1 of his master plan was complete !

Soul's intent was the same intent of his friend who had stopped him when he was going to cut. Instead of telling them that they were wrong, you tell them how to prepare for what they are going to do, like you are encouraging them, but really the outcome saves them from continuing what they are doing, and possibly saving their lives.

Soul really did care for his partner, even loved her. He wanted this to work so bad. He wanted nothing more than to save her.

Later that day...

Soul arrived at Maka's apartment at 4:00 just like they had planed. Only when Maka opened the door Soul hadn't brought his books, or anything for that matter.

"I thought we were going to study..?" She asked with a confused expression.

"Sorry, I lied..I just...really need you to hear something." He said as he walked into her apartment and sat on one side of her dining room table. He motioned for her to sit on the opposite side. She did without a word.

"Let me see your wrist." He said motioning to her and she did.

He turned her hand over to reveal now six cuts on her wrist. He only looked at her with a sympathetic look. She yanked her wrist away. Now angry that she had realized his reasoning for coming over today.

"Is that why you came over?! Just to tell me to stooppp and I'm not only hurting myself but I'm hurting the people that care about me ?!" She asked him almost yelling. He said nothing and only looked at her.

"Well, if that's all you want to do you can leave !" She yelled pointing to the door.

"That's not why I'm here." She replied calmly. He had also responded this way when he was confronted. Maka was surprised.

"I'm going to tell you how to prepare for what you are getting into, and how your life may change." She was more calm now and interested in what he was saying now. She didn't know why, but she liked the passion in his eyes and she decided she would listen to her partner.

Soul saw this and knew his words had made an impact on her. He was pleased with this and began to tell her what his friend hat told him. The life saving words..

" Even though you think you can make a few tiny cuts that aren't deep and will heal easily, they will get deeper.

They will scar.

They will take sometimes months to heal, and years for the scars to fade.

If you think you can limit the cutting to one area of your body, think again.

It will spread when you run out of skin.

Be prepared to withdraw from others and live in a constant state of shame.

Even if you are the most honest person to ever live, you will find yourself lying to the people you love most.

You will jerk back from your friends when they touch you as if their hands are dipped in poison.

You will be terrified that they will feel something under the cloth of your shirt, or because it just plain hurts so much to be touched.

Be prepared to get so out of control you fear your next cut because you don't know how bad it will be.

Wait until 10 cuts turn into 100.

Be prepared for your entire life to revolve around thinking about cutting.

And just wait until the first time you cut "too deep".

And you freak out because the blood won't stop.

You are gasping...

And you feel yourself shake all over.

You are having a panic attack and you are terrified, but you can't tell anyone.

Swearing you won't let it go this far again..but you will...and further.

Don't worry, you will learn how to take care of your cuts so that you can go deeper and deeper to avoid the ER.

And the better you get at treating your cuts, the deeper they will get.

You will lie to yourself and justify it when you find yourself spending 20, 30, 50 dollars every time you go to the pharmacy.

You will feel the flutter of your heart every time you go to the counter to ring up your order.

Butterfly strips..

Three or four kinds of dressings.

Antibiotic Cream..

Scar reducers..

You will tap your foot impatiently hoping the line will just move and no one will stare at you or wonder why you need all these things.

At the same time secretly hoping someone will notice.

Someone who is standing in line with an armful of the same supplies..

Someone who understands.

But of course that never happens.

Medical supplies won't be the only thing you will spend all of your money on.

You will need a new wardrobe.

Long sleeve shirts in summer colors, bracelets, wristbands, boots, the list goes on and on.

You will start looking at everybody in a different way, scanning their bodies for signs of Self Harm.

Just hoping that you might see someone like you so you don't feel so terribly alone.

You won't even think about it as your eyes scan their wrists and arms.

You will see their clean arms and feel terribly ashamed and alone.

You will start doing a lot of things alone.

You will always have to wash your laundry in private so no one sees the blood stains on your clothes and towels.

You will always be cleaning up the blood, scrubbing your bathroom floor.

Wiping the blood off of your keyboard.

You won't be able to make it through a day without cutting.

Next thing you know you are in a public restroom somewhere breaking open a scab with a sewing needle you keep in your wallet for emergencies.

When you get really desperate, anything will be a cutting tool.

Scissors..

A car key...

A needle...

A paperclip...

Even a pen...

Doesn't matter what it is, if you need to cut bad enough you will find something.

Say goodbye to things you took for granted, like wearing shorts, sandals, pedicures, sleeveless tops...

A normal say at the beach or swimming pool will become a far off memory to you.

So much that you will look like you have fleas or a skin disease.

You will become an expert on your body as you destroy it carefully.

You will dream about cutting..

You will dream about being exposed.

You will wish that you never made the first cut because while you absolutely hate cutting..

At the same time you love it and can't live without it..

Cutting can and will ruin your life, Maka.."

Soul had finished his speech and by this time Maka was crying and rubbing her arms. Soul got up from wear he was sitting and hugged her. She melted into his arms and the both ended up on the floor. Soul kissed her forehead and whispered into her ear,

"I will be with you through it all, I just need you to...Stay Strong.