x

I hate it when you do that you know.

Do wha'?

Leave before I have a chance to say bye.

x

Goodbyes

He never liked saying goodbyes. The first time they met each other in Seireitei after graduating from the Academy, they spent the day catching up. But before parting ways at the day's end, he'd smiled, waved and swiftly turned on heel. She only watched his retreating back as she stood by the entrance of her living quarters. She opened her mouth to say something-anything, but within a blink of an eye he had disappeared, leaving on a burning after image of a black number three emblazoned within her eyes for a millisecond in the setting afternoon sun.

She never questioned why, she'd always forget to anyway. Besides, it wasn't like he would have given her a straight answer. Smiling, his infuriatingly wide, elusive smile that danced around her questions, teasing her. Though their meetings were short and brief during the busy duties of the Gotei 13, they were frequent. Previous conversations would be picked up as if there had only been a five minute delay, ongoing jokes would continue and she'd laugh as if she'd just heard him say it for the first time.

Gin was always there. It seemed as though she never had to utter a word to voice her desire to see him again. He just knew. Gin was always there. Waiting for her after Captain and Lieutenant meetings, wandering into the 10th Squad's office, much to Hitsugaya taicho's chagrin, just to talk to Rangiku about his observations and general chat about the state of Seireitei. Work was never completed around Ichimaru taicho but Rangiku wouldn't have it any other way.

In the end, Rangiku began to wonder if there was any point in leaving meaningful words behind when they left each other's presence, it wasn't like he stayed around long enough to hear them. It seemed silly to acknowledge the brief distance between each other, when she would see him again soon. There was no need for goodbye, if they were to see one another again. For they could take for granted the times spent and the times to be spent together.

It was only when one night, they lay tangled up in each other. It wasn't the first time, but as always she'd hoped it wouldn't be the last. With glassy eyes she'd cupped his angular jaw, admiring the icy blue that lay hidden usually. Rangiku's throat ached with words she'd only murmur into the crook of his neck. Heat raced across her body as Gin's fingers quickly caught up with the liquid fire. It was only then, in the thick of the night, during the heaviest of kisses that he'd whispered one small word.

Blood was roaring through her ears at the time and passion quickly overtook her. The small syllables were lost amongst the various other sounds and soft words of affection and were quickly forgotten.

It wasn't till the next morning till she'd realised what he'd said.

But by then, the bedsheets had gone cold and the only thing that lingered was the soft unique scent they created together that night and nothing more. His fine presence that she was so keenly attuned to had disappeared altogether, further highlighting the pounding beat in her chest.

Blood was roaring through her ears but not because of passion this time. Her throat ached and constricted and she tried to hold on to the wisps of what remained. For all the times that they spent together, it all had blurred into one moment in time- nothing to document and anchor the memories in place.

It was only then, that Rangiku had realised just how painful and final one word could be.

And perhaps, that was why he never said it.