Life is absolute shit. My parents got divorced once and for all, my mother went off and married my uncle Jimbo. Way to keep it in the family, right? Shelly was still here, not that she could help that; the economy was absolute shit these days. I figured that at eighteen I'd already have my own apartment, but nope, I didn't even have a job. The worst possible thing in my life though was the fact that my dad was dating my friend. Not just any friend though, my super best friend.

I wasn't sure if I wanted to call him that though, I can barely even look at him without imagining him in bed with my dad and that's the shittiest image ever.

I didn't understand what my dad saw in Kyle, he looked like a twelve year old girl to say the least. He was small, a little less than five feet, and he was super thin with feminine hips. His large eyes and long lashes didn't help either.

I was the complete opposite, I was tall, about five eleven and I was slightly chubby. I had gone vegetarian two years ago but since I wasn't a big fan of fruits and vegetables, I gorged on pastas and snack cakes.

I groaned when Kyle and my dad walked out of his room and started kissing, right in the middle of the hall, right in my line of view. I hated the churning in my stomach every time I saw them kiss, I hated how my heart felt like it was on fire; it was absolute shit.
"Hey dude." Kyle greeted me after he stopped sucking face with my dad.

"Hi." I said flatly. I had been giving him the cold shoulder for months now but he was either too oblivious to notice or he didn't care.

"Do you want to bowling with Kenny, Clyde, and I?" He asked.

"Are you sure you could lift a bowling ball?" I asked smugly. Yes, I know it was a bit immature but nothing pisses Kyle off more than when people think he's weak because of his size.

"You know what? Forget it; you'd probably just be a downer again anyway." Kyle replies with a glare. I had to restrain myself from reaching out and slugging him. It was mostly his fault that I was being such a downer. I know I couldn't put all the blame on him though, thinking back on what happened eight months ago, I wasn't sure that I could put any of the blame on him.

Eight Months Ago

Kyle and I were sitting in my room playing Bully, a game that Cartman had recently told us about.

"It's totally kick ass you guys, you get to beat people up and the dialogue is amazing." He claimed.

For once, he was right, the game was really fun. You didn't beat up people just to beat them up though; you beat them up to stop the bullying. I let my eyes drift over to Kyle who seemed to be lost in thought.

"What's wrong?" I asked when I noticed a frown start to cross across his face.

"There's something I need to tell you." He mumbled out, I felt my heart catch in my throat when I saw fear in his eyes. What if he was dying? He got sick a lot, what if he caught some incurable deadly disease?

"What's wrong?" I asked trying to keep the fear out of my voice.

"I uh, well you see, I'm in love with you." He muttered with his face down. I opened my mouth in shock; I couldn't believe what had just happened.

"I'm sorry, but I don't love you, not in that way at least." I said softly.

"Oh, that's fine, I kind of expected that." Kyle said letting out a small laugh, the tears in his eyes betrayed his fake happiness though.

Present Day

I lied. When I told Kyle I didn't love him that way, it was the biggest lie I had ever told. I loved him more than I ever loved anyone. I wasn't sure now why I had lied, probably to protect my reputation or something like that, nor did I even care, I just knew that my lie had cost me the person I loved most in this world. The worst part was that I had to see him every day as he shared his love with my own flesh and blood, his love that was meant for me.

My thoughts were soon interrupted when Cartman came crashing through the door with a hot dog in one hand a chicken leg in his mouth. I groaned; I hated how he never knocked and how he always stole our food. He claimed that Kenny was too poor and that Kyle just had gross Jewish food.

Cartman wasn't very tall, he was about five eight, but he was massive, he looked like a cross between a bowling ball and a marshmallow.

Speaking of bowling, I regretted making Kyle mad because now I was stuck here with the fat ass.

"Where's your faggy boyfriend?" Cartman asked taking a bite of his hot dog.

"He's not my boyfriend." I muttered.

"You know, if he and your dad get married, he will be your step dad." Cartman said with awe.

"I know it sucks; I mean can you imagine having a step parent younger than you are?" I asked shaking my head.

"My mom hooked up with Butters last week." Cartman said with a shrug.

"Butters is older than you though." I pointed out.

"That doesn't matter, he's still our age." Cartman retorted. Hard though it may be to believe, Cartman was the youngest out of the five of us. It went, Butters, me, Kenny, Kyle, and last and definitely least, Cartman. If it ever bothered Cartman though, he didn't let it show.

I was about to ask Cartman what he wanted to do when my dad came bounding into the room with a look of excitement on his face.

"Did he leave yet? Please tell me he left." He said looking wildly around the room. I felt my heart leap up with excitement, maybe my dad was getting tired of Kyle, maybe they would break up and Kyle would be mine.

"He left." I said trying to keep the happiness out of my voice.

"Okay good, you may want to sit down for this."

I could barely keep myself from squealing, for some reason my dad thought I was happy that he and Kyle were together, he thought it would break my heart if they ever split. If there was one reason to tell me to sit down this would be it.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Well, Kyle wanted to wait until we had everyone together to tell our news, but I just couldn't wait to tell you." My dad replied with a beaming smile. I felt my heart sink a little, it sure didn't sound like they were breaking up; instead, it sounded like they were getting married.

"What news is that?" I asked feeling tears prickle the corners of my eyes.

"Kyle and I are having a baby."

I felt my mouth drop open in shock,
"When did you decide to adopt a kid?"

"We're not adopting one, Kyle is having one."

At this Cartman started bursting out laughing.

"Hahahaha, I always knew Kyle was a girl."

"It's not April Fools." I said rolling my eyes.

"This isn't a joke, Dr Mephesto offered Kyle five hundred dollars to try his experiment that would allow males to get pregnant; we figured we'd be doing it for the greater good of Science, so we agreed. We found out yesterday that Kyle is about twelve weeks along." My dad said smiling the biggest smile I had ever seen him smile.

I felt my mouth drop open in shock and I couldn't control the tears that had started spilling out of my eyes. My dad thought they were tears of joy; idiot. I was shocked, how could I have not noticed it before? I mean Kyle had been throwing up but I thought he just had the flu or something, I didn't even think about something like, well, you know. I was angry that he didn't tell me, I was supposed to be his super best friend and he didn't even bother to tell me one of the most important things ever. I wondered what his parents would do when they found out, not that it mattered, his parents had kicked him out for being gay before moving to Idaho, they haven't talked to him since then. I then wondered what my mom and Shelly would think, Shelly would probably laugh and my mom would probably be heartbroken. She had thought of Kyle as a second son, and now he was having a kid by her ex-husband.

"Holy shit." I said out loud when I realised that Kyle was having my little brother or sister. The thought of that almost made me smile, I always wanted a little brother, I have always dreamed about it. I wanted a brother to teach how to play football, how to be strong yet romantic; I wanted someone who would look up to me. A little sister would be fun too; I could protect her and beat down any guys who broke her heart.

"I'm done." Cartman said in a sing song voice before hanging up the phone.

"What did you do?" I asked narrowing my eyes at him; you couldn't turn your back for five seconds without Cartman being a sneaky bastard.

"Oh nothing, I just called everyone I know and told them about Kyle." He said with smirk.

"Who all did you call?" I gasped out, I was pissed at Kyle and my dad but I wouldn't spoil their surprise like that.

"Oh no one, just Mr Garrison, Token, Clyde, Butters, Kenny, Craig, Wendy, Bebe…."

I listened as he kept rambling off names of students that we had gone to school with.

"Did you tell his parents?" I asked.

"Are you crazy? His mom's a bitch, there's no way I'm calling her."

I breathed out a sigh of relief, I didn't want there to be more drama than there already was.

"How did you get all these numbers?" I asked curiously.

"Stan, I hack into the school computers all the time to change my grades, all the numbers were listed in there." He said in a bored tone while inspecting his finger nails.

"Why didn't you ever change my grades? I mean I had a D in History, I could have been eligible to go on the trip to Galveston but no, I had to have a C or above."

"Don't be such a baby, if it wasn't too much of a risk changing my grades, I would have changed all of Kahl's grades to F's." Cartman said crossing his arms against his chest.

"How is it that you never got caught?" I asked curiously, I mean, thinking about it, someone was bound to notice right?

"I did get caught; I just blamed it on Tweek and said that he was in love with me."

"I was wondering why he got expelled." I muttered. Tweek had gotten expelled from school before moving away to South America, I kind of missed him to be honest. Instead of saying anything back, Cartman started eating out of the tub of ice cream that he had gotten out of my freezer. I knew it was no use in lecturing him; that fat ass would never learn.

"I hate you Stan!" I heard a voice shriek out; I looked over and saw Kyle standing in the door way with tears streaming down his face.

"What did I do?" I asked in shock.

"You called everyone and told them my secret! I wasn't ready yet!"

"Like you're so high and mighty, you didn't even tell me this secret of yours and I am supposed to be your super best friend." I said with my voice rising.

"Yes I did! I told you the day after I went to Dr Mephesto." He said angrily.

I thought about it for a minute, maybe he had really told me, after he started dating my dad, I tuned him out whenever he mentioned him because it hurt too bad to hear him talk about someone else that way.

"What makes it think that it was me who called everyone?"

"Clyde told me! He let me listen to it on speaker phone." Kyle said with his eyes blazing, I swear if looks could kill, I would be deader than a door nail.

"It was Cartman that called everyone!" I protested. I hated now how Cartman and I could imitate each other's voices.
"Cartman?" Kyle asked softly.

"Yes, if you were really my friend you would have trusted that I would never do that to you." I said flatly.

"Stan, I-I, I'm sorry." Kyle muttered out.

"Save it, you may live in my house, you may be dating my dad, you may even be having my little brother or sister, but you will never be my friend again." I said darkly. I glared at Kyle as his mouth dropped open and tears started rolling down his cheeks, after what seemed like five minutes, he ran upstairs to my dad's room. I groaned thinking of what ways my dad would comfort him.

Shit.