Nightmare
X
X
Ever attuned to his younger brother's needs, it was no surprise that Dean promptly awoke to the low keening sounds and thrashing coming from Sam's bed.
His brother was in the throes of a bone-chilling night mare.
Practically all his life Sam had suffered from them, never seeming to embrace sleep as other kids had. It had always been a problem and Dean could remember from his earliest childhood days having to soothe his brother's fears with stories or simply by holding him close and banishing his terror with his solid presence.
Since his memories of Hell had been alleviated though, Sam hadn't seemed to suffer from dreams or visions any more; occasionally Dean would even wake mornings to find Sam still asleep, so what could have happened to provoke a resurgence of his old tendencies.
X
In the half-light, Dean could make out Sam's octopus-like flailing, long limbs twitching and lashing out as if he was truly fighting some underwater predator.
He crossed quickly over to the other bed, not that it was more that a couple of steps away, and took a good look at him.
Sam had always been a furnace, sweating easily and copiously at the slightest exertion and now he was glistening like a dolphin that had just exited he water.
It always unnerved him when his brother was upset and as far as Dean was concerned, nightmares were included in the Sam-hurts catalogue.
He leaned over and put his hands firmly on his brother's shoulders, shaking gently.
"Sam! Sammy! Wake up man; you're having a nightmare. Sammy!"
X
Whether it was the familiar touch of his brother's hands or the sound of his voice, Sam quickly responded by opening wide terror-filled eyes, the same ones that would open in his younger years; the eyes that Dean had never been able to refuse when they had stared at him with a pleading expression and which he knew would always have the same effect on him until they were both old and hobbling around on sticks; days that Dean could only imagine, as sure as he was that neither he nor Sam would ever reach them.
Right now however, those eyes were looking up at him confused and helpless like some lost puppy and Dean wanted nothing more than to cancel whatever nightmarish thoughts had hurt his little brother.
X
"De..n?" Sam murmured sluggishly as he began to take in the reality of his surroundings. He had been dreaming.
As always the solid presence of his brother took away the anxieties and palpitations that the nightmare had caused but the contents were still clear and vivid in his mind.
He looked away, not wanting to meet Dean's eyes, afraid that his brother might somehow be able to see the flickering images of his dreams reflected in them as if they were screens of some miniature TV, but Dean wasn't one to be easily misled and he was having none of Sam's evasive tactics.
X
"So, a nightmare, huh! Care to share with the class, Sam?"
Sam tried for a nonchalant half-smile.
"It was just a shitty run of the mill nightmare, Dean. I've had them before and probably will again."
"True, but since you got your head back together, you've been sleeping better than Rip-van-Winkle, so why are they starting up again?"
X
Sam shook off his brother's concerns.
"Come on, Dean. It's no big deal. It was just a dream."
"Well, tell me about it then. You were going through some serious crap, like you were fighting Godzilla and the Creature from the Deep all in one!"
Sam made to swing his legs down from the bed but his brother's hands held on firmly with no intention of letting go.
"Dean, unless you want a mini-lake on the bed, I gotta take a leak," he threatened, rolling his eyes.
X
Dean studied him carefully before releasing his shoulders.
"All right but when you get back; I'll still be here waiting!"
Sam dragged himself off to the bathroom. He did have to take a leak but truth was he needed time to pull himself together. The nightmare had left him shocked and terrified, terrified that what he had done would transfer itself to real life.
He glanced at the bathroom window; too small for him to slip through.
He sighed, he would just have to go back and face Dean.
He knew his brother would get him to spill eventually but the last thing he wanted was tell Dean that in his dreams he had just killed him and done so with eminent satisfaction!
X
Dean hadn't moved from where he had sunk down onto Sam's bed, his expression that of expectancy.
"Okay, now that any flooding danger has been averted, out with it 'cos if not you're gonna be brooding for the next month and you don't know how bitchy you are when that happens."
Sam didn't deny it, he knew he could be moody and mopey and he also knew how pissy it made Dean when he was silent for days on end. He had thought that things were improving and now he had been unexpectedly hit by a nightmare again.
He sat down on Dean's bed facing his brother whose green eyes drilled into him as he waited for Sam's words.
X
Sam passed a hand over his face pushing back the heavy mass of hair dangling down over his eyes.
"I was back at Stull, the day of the big prize-fight. I was beating you to pulp…." Sam's voice stumbled as the memories of that terrible day came piercing through his mind like spears.
"I... was enjoying it; in my nightmare I mean," he specified. "I wasn't being ordered to by Lucifer. It was all me, Dean. I was fiercely happy to be killing you with my own hands," Sam eyes filled with tears.
"It was horrible; I was feeling the greatest of pleasure, better than the wildest rush in reducing you to pulp. I..."
Dean came to sit next to his brother and turned him to the side.
X
"Hey, it was only a dream, Sam. It wasn't you. It was Lucifer. You were possessed Sam, and you were damn strong in taking back control from that ass-hole. You can't blame yourself for what he did with your body," Dean soothed hating to see his brother's distress.
"I know, Dean but here it was me, not Lucifer," Sam insisted. "It was me killing you and taking delight in doing it as if I was actually him. You don't think it could ever happen, do you Dean that I could ever turn into a demon like Lucifer? I have demon-blood in me still even although it has never made itself felt until..."
"Until?"
Sam looked away.
"I felt it stirring during the nightmare. As if it was calling out to me, telling me that I was a demon and that although I had outdone my fate once, I wouldn't the second time; that I would turn into what I was meant to be and rule Hell as I was destined to."
He gripped his brother's tee-shirt yanking on it as if it was a life-line to safety and it was. It was Sam Winchester's personal emergency services all rolled into one grey piece of cloth.
As the emergency services respond to a call, so did Dean respond to Sam's.
X
"Enough, Sammy. I told you once that as long as I'm around, nothing bad is ever going to happen to you. I'm gonna swear on those words again. I don't care about the demon- blood or the Lucifer crap. I only care about you and if the demon blood is part of you, fine! " he avowed
"God knows, it's a part I'd rather have done without but that blood has been in you since you were a baby, no different now than an arm or a leg. Without it you might have grown up to be a whole other Sammy. Maybe fighting off the effects of the blood made you the man you are today. Who knows?"
X
Sam's eyes followed him wildly as he talked.
He couldn't believe what his brother was saying, that Dean had accepted him unconditionally for what he was, demon blood included.
A new wave of tears threatened to overwhelm him.
He cursed impatiently. How was it he could kill monsters with a panache and coldness of a born assassin but when it came to his brother he was like an emo- teenage girl. Dean had it right when he called him princess!
X
But Dean hadn't finished yet.
"Maybe there's a way to get the blood out of your system, but you know what, I would think very hard before going for that. It might do more damage than good, and I like my little brother just as he is, warts and all."
"But Dean…" Sam tried.
"Listen Sam, nightmares are just projections of our imagination; well maybe in your case not quite, bro' but that's what I'm here for, to keep your ass on the straight and narrow. Anyway," he smirked offhandedly. "If you become King of Hell, you're gonna need an overseer and I'm the man for the job."
X
Sam stared at him horrified. "Dean, how can you joke about it like that?"
"My one priority is looking out for you, Sammy. That's my job. It's what I'm best at and it's what I'm going to do until the bitter end, whatever that 'end' entails. So suck it up, little brother. Now," Dean stated coolly." We got things to do, monsters to kill and people to save, so enough emo-angsting Sammy and let's go whup some ass."
X
Sam watched heartened as Dean made a beeline for the bathroom.
What had he done to deserve a brother like him who accepted him totally and loved him despite his defects? Well it worked both ways; Sam too had once told Dean that there was nothing he wouldn't do for his big brother and that held true now as much as it did then.
X
He could feel the demon blood calling to him as it circulated through his veins but there was a living breathing antidote to it and it went by the name of Dean.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The enD
