Oh my gods! I have wanted to do this for so long! The office and Yugioh, together! The awkwardly hilarious comedy in a paper company! It's not a crossover just based off of it with a hint of Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
"So welcome to Shadoreálm Inc. Where we deal in all things paper!"
Ryou's new boss Yami exclaimed. He seemed like a good guy. A little proud but overall nice.
"I don't usually meet my employees at the door to greet them but I'm excited we have a new face." He said, ushering him around the facility, "This is our receptionist, Mai. Mai say hello."
"Do you know how much she's makes, she's obviously sleeping with the boss- Oh, hello, sweetheart!" She smiled before jerking back to the phone.
"She's very gossipy." Yami stated.
"I see." Ryou followed.
The man led him to a cubicle, "This is your new home away from home. Your temple. The place where you come to find peace and hopefully no pranks in your seat if your neighbors are forgiving." He pointed to a tanned man, "This is Akefia and he and Mal- Where's the brat?"
"Bathroom." Akefia stated.
"So Wawa. Just have better gotten me a latte. Akefia I trust you'll be nice to Ryou."
"I might."
Yami shrugged, "Okay then! Sell paper!" He slammed Ryou in his seat, "Any questions go to the meanest salesperson ever: Akefia."
"Meanest?" Ryou mumbled.
"I'll check on you later!" He turned, "Yugi! Yugi don't run!" He chased after someone.
Ryou blinked. What a strange man?
"Um, Akefia, it's nice to-"
"No it's not."
The small man eyed him, "How so?"
Akefia looked at him with annoyance, "Really? Has the 65 seconds you've spoken to me been the least bit pleasurable? I completely doubt it. You-"
"Oh shut the bloody hell up, Akefia! Stop bothering the new guy!" A man yelled, slamming papers on Ryou's desk. Ryou didn't feel his presence at all! He almost jumped a mile high.
"Go fuck yourself, Bakura. It seems like your boyfriend- Oops I mean best friend left the office again."
"Considering you haven't dated in five years, I doubt you can talk."
"Considering I'm not forever cursed to spend eternity in the friend zone, I think I can."
The man who strangely looked like Ryou scoffed, "Hey, Creampuff, don't let him jerk you around. I got to go type the new report." Bakura walked off.
Ryou never thought that they'd be so invested in each other's personal lives. He turned to his desk to look at the files left. They were basically pricing and numbers to call. He dialed the first number.
"Hello, this is Ryou from ShadóRealm-" The person immediately hung up.
He frowned a bit, "Hm." His other attempts ended the same. He started to become a bit discouraged. Though he had to admit if he were home, he'd hang up. He sighed.
"Moshi, moshi!" Was yelled into his ear.
Ryou slowly looked up to a woman with brown hair and blue eyes greet him with a basket of muffins.
"In English, Friendship whore!"
"Baka-teme-"
"English!" Akefia yelled.
She flinched, "Well then, Hello! Nice to meet you! It's so good meeting another friendly face!" She smiled, "I'm Anzu Mazaki!"
"Tea Gardner."
"Anzu Mazaki!" Anzu? Cried out.
"Otaku." The tanned male turned back to his desk.
"Anyway, what's your name?"
"Ryou Williams..."
"Oh! That's cute!"
"If you ever need anything don't hesitate to come right over to my cubicle!" She giggled.
"Wow, Anzu, thank you so much-"
"COFFEE!" The woman from before, Mai, screeched into the room. Anzu practically trampled him over, along with a ton of other people!
"It's crunch time, Creampuff." Akefia said, standing, "Coffee is the only reason we don't kill one another. Get up and I'll show you the ropes."
Ryou wobbled to his feet, "Okay." He wasn't expecting anything like this in the office. He followed Akefia to the facility room. Everyone looked barbaric! Everyone was fighting over the coffee like it was gold yet there was a few no one would touch.
"Those," Akefia pointed to the abandoned cups, "Are decaff or soy milk."
"Why is no one fighting over them?"
"Because they are decaff or soy!"
"Oh." Ryou nodded, scared he snapped so quickly, "How do we get some?"
"Wait."
They stood there until everyone shattered like roaches out of the room. He approached the undesired coffee, handing one to Ryou.
"Um, I don't really like-"
Akefia hissed, "Drink it."
Ryou immediately gulped some down, "French vanilla!" He licked his lips.
"Yea, we label them so no one will specifically touch ours."
"Smart."
"Malik!" Akefia yelled.
"Wait!" A woman ran in from a back room with a box. She was quite beautiful to say the least.
"Meet the new guy Ryou."
She looked at him.
"Hi, I'm Ryou Williams. It's nice to meet you Ma'am."
"What?" Malik narrowed her eyes.
"Malik, here is happy to meet you, another fellow man." Akefia hinted.
Man?
Malik looked pissed, "Pleasured." He said in monotone.
"Ah! I apologize!" Ryou held his hands up in surrender.
The man seemed to calmed down with the gesture, "Welcome to the office!"
"Thanks."
The blonde opened the box, "Donut?"
Ryou practically beamed, "Thank you!"
Akefia grabbed him, "Don't."
"Akefia, if he wants a Donut, let him have one."
"No, you have this whole office in debt to you. I won't let you put another worker in your system of repayment."
"What are you talking about! I would never do that." Malik cried.
"Oh, yes you would! I've been paying you in favours for two fucking years."
"What's going on in here?" Bakura asked, walking in. He immediately headed for the counter.
"Bakura, Akefia is accusing me of wrong doings!"
"Tell your whore to stop forcing everyone in debt!"
"Whore?! Thief!"
"Thief?! Bitch."
Malik lunged at him, "WHO THE FUCK YOU THING YOU'RE TALKING TO! I'LL RIP YOU'RE FACE OFF AND USE IT AS A FRISBEE!"
"See! He is a demon in makeup!" He made a cross with his fingers.
Bakura had to grab the hissing blonde, having trouble with his flailing.
"Malik, do we need more charges. Remember last time?"
"That bitch deserved it! And I didn't rip her weave out!"
"I know," It was actually her real hair. "And as much as of a sexy little psychopath you are, No more lawsuits!"
"Yea, no more, Ishtar." Akefia mocked.
Malik kicked off his shoe, hitting him in the face, "Nice reflexes, mighty thief." Malik smirked. Both parties were royally pissed. Ryou could see a fight breaking out.
"I-I'LL JUST TAKE THE DONUT!" He yelled.
They quickly looked at him. Silence.
"Of course." Malik escaped Bakura's grasp, grabbing the box. "Here you go!" He flashed him an award winning smile.
"Thank you." He took a sprinkled donut. Akefia looked away as Bakura grinned, "May I have a napkin?"
Malik handed him the paper, Ryou grabbed it thanking him. He bit the donut and wiped his fingers. Malik snatched the 'napkin'.
"Thank you for your patronage."
Ryou blinked, staring at it. It was a contract? It's not like he could use a fingerprint. Could he?
"You, evil scheming high school looking like motherfucker."
"I forgot I went to school with you. That acne cleared up nicely, thank god."
Akefia angrily snatched the box. Ripping out a donut.
"Where are you from Ryou?"
The man blinked, "Im most familiar with Philadelphia. Well my parents are divorced so I hopped back and forth."
"Sorry to hear."
"No it was fun biking to see them."
Malik nodded, "That's good. Welcome to the office, again. I like you Ryou. Mild mannered and such you'll fit nicely in with the gang."
"Thanks."
And thus begun the strangest job Ryou would ever have. And the meeting of most crazy people he would ever know.
