It's one of those nights again. Much like the previous one, but this time it's also a hundred times worse. I'm lying down on my bed, and I feel horrible. My walkie-talkie's next to my head, and on the floor is that bottle of whiskey which I confiscated from those two girls. I'm a little drunk. I shouldn't have been drinking, but I did anyway. I feel like I need company in this slightly drunken state of mine, so I grab the walkie-talkie. I feel tired so I slowly close my eyes. Soon after that I open my mouth to speak, but I can't come up with any words. For a few seconds there is nothing but silence, until Delilah finally decides to break it. She had been waiting for me to say something.
"Henry? Are you there?"
she asks a slight hint of worry in her voice. I let out a heavy sigh and finally force myself to say:
"I shouldn't be troubling you with this.."
"What?"
Delilah asks, confused.
"What do you mean? I'm just doing crossword puzzles, so you're not exactly troubling me. So, what is it?"
She's in her shrink mode once again, and I feel bad about it.
"I.. I've been drinking, Delilah",
I say, and she laughs.
"Well, you don't need to apologize about that, Henry. You're a man, you can do whatever you want."
I don't respond right away. I've heard her say that before.
"No, you don't understand.."
I end up saying. I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling.
"I can't take this anymore. I came here so I could forget about everything for a while. Delilah, I failed to take care of Julia on my own, I let her down. And I even failed to forget about all that. I don't remember the last time I did something right."
Delilah stays silent, she's just listening what I have to say.
"I close my eyes and I see Julia, the way she used to be. She was always smiling. And all the while I'm humming the tune of Africa. I can't help it. It used to be one of our favorite songs. It still is one of mine. I'm just not sure if she even remembers it anymore. You know that song?"
I ask Delilah, and she says yes.
"Of course. It's great. I heard you say one line of it when you were in that cave and played with its echo."
"It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had.."
I say half to myself, half to Delilah. She nods even though I can't see it.
"Yeah. And.. I don't care if this sounds weird to you, but I think you should do as the song says."
"What?"
I ask. I don't understand what she's trying to say. All I understand is that I've sort of started to cry.
"Hurry boy, she's waiting there for you. Henry, what I mean is that when the summer's over, you really should go see her. It's the right thing to do, but it's just going to be harder and harder the longer you're away from her. I'm sure she's waiting for you",
Delilah states. She sounds firm.
"Yeah, okay.."
I reply. Delilah sighs.
"Didn't we just talk about this the other night?"
she then asks. I won't deny it because I know that we did.
"Henry.. are you crying?"
Delilah goes on.
"No.."
I first try to say, but then decide to tell the truth.
"Yes. I am. I'm a failure, Delilah. I've been making all the wrong decisions for as long as I can remember",
I admit. But Delilah firmly disagrees.
"Henry.. There is no failure except in no longer trying."
"Oh yeah.. and who said that?"
I ask because I am sure that Delilah didn't make that one up herself.
"Chris Bradford, I think. The point is that you can't give up. And you're not a failure. Think about it, if you really love her, you'll get back to her."
Delilah is right, once again. I know it. Sometimes all of this is just so hard to handle.
"Delilah.."
"Yes?"
she immediately asks.
"You're right. I'll go to see her after summer",
I say, and I sound more confident about it than I've sounded in a long time. After some more reassuring words from Delilah I finally decide to call it a night.
Wait for me, Jules. After all, it's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you. I understand it now.
