AN: I hate Rosa. She's a super bitch and way too annoying. If you like Rosa and want her to have Ezios bambinos (please gag me) then go away.
Shrew in Distress
As Ezio stood in front of the monstroso palace of Emilo, he was furtively pondering how he was ever going to scale the white marble edifice of Veniza without sprouting wings.
He was rudely interrupted by a dirty gang of common street thieves. They were obnoxiously running too close to him, barreling straight towards the platoon of foppish guards. The guards, which for some reason always seem prone to violent fits of righteous attention deficit disorder fury, collectively ran after the obvious decoy, brandishing their weapons and yelling unintelligibly.
As Ezio watched this happen, he was antsy to take advantage of this unexpected opportunity, but before he could act, the putanella that tried to steal his coin off of his belt ran by him. She shot him a look that he thought was intended to be sexy, flirtatious and mysterious, but only succeeded in making her look exceedingly smug and somewhat lopsided.
As a brief after thought, as she darted away and slammed her body against the wall, he thought perhaps there was something wrong with the musculature in her face.
She was started scaling the wall. He watched with a sort of surprised stupor as she jumped from a hanging position from the window and caught on to the ledge he was fruitlessly pondering not a few moments ago.
Why didn't he think of that? He was sure that he had done that several times in the past… actually he was quite positive he had done that in the last tomb. Also, in Tuscany when there were at least three guards he didn't feel like killing all patrolling the same damned rooftop.
Then there were arrows streaking towards the woman making her way up the building, clinking off stone. The guards never really were a great shot at the best of times, but they got her leg.
Ezio felt that little part that loved to rescue damsels in distress flex in protest at her scream of pain.
When she fell and then imploringly shrieked at him for help, he couldn't exactly say 'no thanks.' He wouldn't be a gentleman—and he always had a weak spot for women in distress. Even though the putanella attempted to steal his coin! If a lady doesn't act like a lady then don't bother to treat her like one, his madre Maria had said.
This one was clearly not. Especially when her mans shirt was unbuttoned quite a ways down. Not that he didn't appreciate it in a lover when it was for his eyes only, but he wondered how any man could stand there and respect her poor lopsided face as she was blatantly showing her le tette.
Especially when she obviously had some talent.
He wondered briefly, as he resignedly drew his sword, how the hell she kept herself modest when jumping and scaling walls and such.
When she started screaming at him to hurry up, and what was wrong with him, insulting his mother at one point, definitely creating more trouble than she was worth, and then turning around and blaming him for trouble that she was obviously the one starting- Ezio Auditore de Firenze had enough.
"Clearly, you have all the help you need from all the thieves in Veniza, and you clearly do not desire my help, so I will take my leave. Buena sera, senorina."
He jumped onto a crate as she engaged yet another group of idiota bastardo guards, without looking where she was going, or even making an effort to avoid the battle when she so clearly needed to. The thieves descended on the guards as he made his escape on the roof tops.
It was time to go and see Leonardo. Perhaps share with him this ridiculous tale.
Then- he would seek out the infamous thieves guild of Venice and get some answers.
