Rin stood before Haruka, by the tree that always reminded Rin of his childhood. And why? Why did he always find himself back here? Is it because it makes him think of a time when Haruka was his friend? Or was it for the weak nostalgia's sake? In any case, it filled Rin with heartbreak, with happiness, with agony. It filled him with anger. He was so fucking mad, and he had no reason. But he was sure as hell going to find a reason.
"Why?! Why are you like this?" Rin choked on his words. He had hardly started talking, and there was already a suffocating knot in his throat. But at least he knew what he was mad about now. Now if only he could word it. "Why do you always manage to pull me back? Why do I love you so much?" Rin felt a dampness roll down his cheek, and with a loud sniff, he continued his voicing of his anger. "This is the last time we'll swim together! Your goals and my goals are polar opposites! Why? Why do you pull me back?! Why, Haru?!" Rin meant every word. What had he done to deserve this? "I'm just going to leave you again, and its going to kill me again! That's what happened when we were kids, and its happening again! What will you do? Do you care about me too?! Do you realize what this means?!" Rin's words were forced, but choked back. He put some pressure, some emphasis, behind every thought. Because Haruka has to know what he's done wrong. "I'll come with you." Rin laughs at that comment, but its an inward laugh. Haru can't see anything but anger in him right now. "That's stupid. You've built a team here." "So have you," Haru replies. Rin scoffs. "That's different. Makoto and Nagisa and Rei need you. Sousuke and Ai can carry Samezuka if they have to." "Rin, I know for a fact that you care for them more than you're letting on. It won't be as easy as you think to leave them behind."
Rin was angry. Rin was angry that Haru had managed to shift the conversation. He had to get back on track. "Fuck you, Haru. Fuck you for always being a step ahead of me. Fuck you for being so goddamn beautiful out there. Fuck you for not caring as much as you should. And fuck you for being so perfect." Haru looked confused. Rin noted in his mind that Haru was still a bonehead. "I forgot. Fuck you for always being able to pull me back. I just... I want to carry dad's dreams.. And you're getting in the way. Why do I care about you so much?! Is this love? I have so many questions, but I'm not getting shit for answers." Rin hangs his head. Talking hurts. Breathing hurts. And something deep in his throat, and high in his chest hurts. But he knows that that's emotional pain. "Yes. This is love." Rin looks up slowly. Haru is looking straight in his eyes. "It's love. Love is knowing that it hurts to know you have to lose your love." Rin clenches his fists. What does Haruka mean? Why is he always so complicated? "Do what you must, Rin. I know these emotions are love. I don't want you to, but if you have to leave me behind again, then go. I don't want to hold the one I love back."
Rin was heartbroken. "You wouldn't be holding anyone back if you weren't so easy to fall for. Fuck you for making me fall in love with you. Fuck you, Haruka Nanase." Rin turns on his heel and sprints off. If he cries anymore, he feels his throat might clog up altogether. Haru heard what he had to, anyways. Rin was angry. Angry that he found himself running from the place that used to make him so happy.
