Dean had never been mothered before –at least not that he could remember too well. All he had to reminisce about were a few glimpses of his mother's honey blonde hair swiping his cheek as she squeezed him in a hug so warm it could have chased the ice out of his heart.
Dean could only think about all the times he mothered Sammy. Always caring for him as his own child…his baby brother…his baby.
When he showed up at Lisa's door looking soft and broken for the first time since Sam died –which she didn't know anything about-, she didn't ask questions nor did she even think about turning him away with his harsh abruptness. She sighed in relief at the sight of him and stared into his malleable eyes love.
"Thank God," She breathed in a harmonic voice. Dean did with all his feeble strength that was left held back the emotions he always rejected and sent them swarming, bubbling inside him. He knew he would one day go literally and inevitably insane –probably criminally insane. "Dean, are you okay?" Lisa's soft voice brought him back into the reality that didn't seem survivable. He thought for a second on whether to tell her everything. But…that wouldn't make him feel any better, or help anything; nothing could help him now.
He gave a grim small smile –not one a fake happy-go-lucky smile he had forced too many times to count- but a smile with a small ray of light searching to the depths of his skin to find a way out to its family of lighted hope. "Yeah, I'm going to be fine." He assured hoarsely but he didn't know how true or transparent his words were.
Without a second guess or thought, he enveloped his Lisa in a hug that wasn't for her reassurance but his and his much, much needed comfort and warm support. He needed love. He needed a mother.
He couldn't see any reason to restrain the rejected emotions that promised the revenge they were endowing. His eyes tightened and his chest rattled gently with the tears now flowing down his cheeks with loss. He lost his brother to a powerful force that they both hoped would turn out to be an unbelievable triumph.
But nothing ever goes as planned –not in his life, not in his father's life, and not in his brother's life. Bobby was probably the only one who really understood the depth of the unexpectancy in the Winchester boys' lives.
Lisa could feel the slight dampness on her shoulder but she wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly to her. This warmed Dean but only on the surface. He needed the real warmth that only his family could produce. He needed his family. He needed his brother. He needed his baby…Sammy.
