A/N: The italics stand for flashbacks. Also, this takes place during the last two lines of Never Again. Everything else is AU (Alternate Universe) Scully doesn't have cancer.
M&S
"Not everything is about you, Mulder. This is my life." Scully said.
"Yes, but it's my…" Mulder cut himself off before he could say anything else.
They sat in a strained silence. Mulder had something he wanted to tell her, but he didn't want to offend her.
"Scully, I know it's your life, but you are my life." Mulder said quietly.
Scully snapped her head up to look at him. "Mulder..."
"Scully, I know you're mad and upset with me. I know that your life has spiraled out of control since you've been assigned to the X-Files. I even know that you want control back of your life, but there's a cost to everything." Mulder then got up and left.
Mulder knew he shouldn't have said or done what he did, but he was confused. Things were getting more confusing and out of control as each day passed. Truth be told, Mulder was tired and worn out for this quest for the truth, but he wouldn't stop. He couldn't because he owed it to Samantha, to Scully, and to himself. During his 'vacation' he had gotten some information that could lead him to the truth, but all information was that way.
Mulder realized that he was standing in front of the elevator. He pushed the up button and waited for the elevator. It came in no time and Mulder walked in followed by Scully.
"Oh, I didn't know that you were behind me." Mulder said quietly, while leaning back on the elevator wall. He started to rub his forehead because of a slight headache, and then ran his fingers through his hair.
"Mulder, what am I to you?" Scully sounded hurt.
"Scully…"
"No, Mulder, you don't get to Scully me this time. I'm tired of being treated like some assistant. You may have been on the X-Files before I have, but I am an equal partner." Scully said.
"I know…"
"No, Mulder, you don't know because if you did you wouldn't treat me like you do. You run off and ditch me, you never believe my ideas, until they prove your theories, and you tend to believe people who share the same beliefs with you. I know that I may not think like you, but we have been through so much together and I deserve more than this." Scully didn't say anything else.
"I know you d…"
"Than why don't you act like it, huh?" The elevator doors opened and Scully walked off without looking back. Mulder knew he should've chased after her, but he didn't. He was too worn down by all the lies that he'd been fed over the years.
Later that night Mulder sat in the dark while he drank down bottles after bottles of beer. Nothing was real to him anymore. He needed to search for the truth his own way. The FBI would only hold him down.
A knock on his door interrupted him from his thoughts, but he didn't answer it.
"Mulder, I know you're in here!" Scully said in a loud tone. "I need to tell you something."
Mulder still ignored her and didn't bother to make himself known to her. Scully opened he door and observed the apartment around her. She noticed the beer bottles and how out of order the place looked. But, Scully didn't say anything about it. Instead, she joined him on the couch and took the beer bottle from Mulder's mouth and began to drink it.
"I'm transferring into another office, Mulder. I can't work like this anymore. As much as I want to stay and work everything out, I can't. The Ed Jerse case has got me thinking and I feel it is best for me to leave. Over the past few years I have lost sight of myself." Scully said in a neutral tone. Mulder couldn't read the tone in her voice or read facial features. But, then again he couldn't see her face in the dark and wasn't paying much attention to sound of her voice, but the words. "Being with you only makes it worse."
"Fine." Mulder didn't seem bothered by the words. "Scully, I used to think that if I looked than I could see. That if I touched than I could feel. I used to think that if I tried to listen than I could hear. But, now I know that that is all a lie. I was so positive that I could find my answers that way, but I never thought that I could be wrong."
Scully finished Mulder's beer and thought about what Mulder was saying. "Why?"
"Because that's how you look for the answers. That's what school and people tell you to do. But, if they only knew what I know they wouldn't be so sure."
"What do you know?"
"A blind person has eyes, but they can't used them. A hearing impaired person has ears, but can't use them. You can feel things, but not when our numb or paralyzed." Tears slowly made their way down Mulder's face and Scully knew that Mulder's 'Truth' had somehow hit him in the face.
"What happened while you were on your vacation, Mulder?" Scully asked.
"I didn't find the truth, but the truth found me. Well, bits of pieces did." Mulder said as he heard Scully get up. "I've have found out the truth about my life."
"You always find the truth or bits of pieces of it." Scully walked to the door and was leaving out.
"The truth about Samantha and why she was taken." Scully stopped dead in her tracks.
"Who told you this?" Scully asked, but she didn't turn around.
"That smoking bastard." Mulder said in an angry tone. "I would doubt him, but this time it wasn't all riddles. He didn't tell me the flat-out truth, but he told me something that could get me there." Mulder said as he ran his fingers through his hair.
"They always do, Mulder! Every time they tell you that this could lead you to the truth, you can't get wherever they want you to go fast enough! In the end, you are always up for disappointment. You never have answers only more questions. When is your truth going to show itself, huh, Mulder?" Scully was now in Mulder's face. Only then could she see the fallen tears.
"I don't know, Scully. But, what I do know is that if I don't try I'll never find my truth, Scully. You may have had let downs and bags things have happened to you, but not as much as me. Yours pale in comparison to mine!" Mulder yelled.
"You can't say that. You don't have any right to say that!" Scully yelled.
"Yes, I do. My whole entire life has been a lie. The smoking bastard told me something about my family that all makes sense now, but I don't want to believe it. I don't even know if you'll believe it." Mulder said.
"Try me."
Mulder started to tell his story.
Mulder walked into his motel room and flopped on the bed. Not bothering to cut on the light. Finding himself was harder than he thought. If he wanted dead ends he would be messing with the Syndicate right now. At least they kept him entertained. That's when he saw the small orange light.
"Mr. Mulder, you came back earlier than I thought you would. Bad luck in finding yourself."
Mulder jumped off of the bed. "What a you doing here you cigarette smoking son of a bi…"
"Ah, ah, ah, Mulder, if you want to know the truth about your life, I suggest that you do not finish that statement." CSM warned.
"Why should I believe anything out of your mouth when all you feed me are lies." Mulder said as he cut the light on to see his enemy.
"What's your philosophy, Mr. Mulder? Oh yeah, "The Truth is Out There." CSM mocked.
"The only truth you have on me are lies." Mulder said as he took his gun out of him holster.
"Mr. Mulder, if I was going to kill you I would have done it already." CSM simply said. Mulder knew it was the truth, but still kept his gun out.
"So, tell me." Mulder demanded.
"Mulder, I knew your father before he met your mother. Before he had all of his money." CSM took a long drag of his cigarette.
"And…" Mulder didn't see where this was going.
"And let me finish." He savored the taste the cigarette left in his mouth. He stared at Mulder for a brief minute, and then continued. "Bill Mulder could barely pay the bills. I met him at some bar in the rough areas of New Jersey. He was young, confused, and in love."
"But, you said that he didn't know my mother." Mulder said. He was trying to pick out CSM's lies right away.
"Mulder, you and I both know that your mother isn't the only woman alive." CSM let this soak in. " Her name was Donna Sutherland. She was an aspiring singer, actress, and dancer. Very talented I must admit and Bill was madly in love with her." CSM thought of Donna's beauty and stopped for a minute. "Extremely beautifully. Kind of like Aphrodite or something."
"Why are you telling me all of this?" Mulder was curious as to why he was being told this. The man who sat in front of him went through so much to hide the truth from him and now he couldn't wait to tell Mulder everything he knew.
"You want to know the truth about yourself, Mulder, and I'm going to tell you. Mulder, you can't find out the truth going to fortunetellers or what not. They'll only confuse you and drive you further from the truth." CSM stood up and walked to the window, and then looked out.
"And you know." Mulder said sarcastically.
"Yes, and two other people, but one of them is dead." CSM turned to look Mulder Square in the eye.
"And who is that?" Mulder asked.
"Teena, Bill, and myself, but Bill is dead, so he can't tell you anything. So, that leaves Teena and myself. But, I suggest you hear it from me because I know more than both of your parents combined."
"I find that hard to believe." Mulder said, but he sat and listened anyway.
M&S
A/N: Dun. Dun. Dun. What happens next when CSM tells Mulder his story? (Shrugs) I don't know myself or maybe I do. Don't worry the MSR will be coming up soon, but they have to get over their disagreement and what not.
