A second Season: Part 12:
By Splash
So lots of Sophie and Peter in this one! Also Sophie's mom meets Peter finally! Shelby and Auggie struggle with decisions that affect their own futures. Scott says goodbye… Mark starts to open up.
As always I really appreciate your reviews! Thanks!
"Hey Soph?" Peter poked his head into the kitchen where she was still on the phone with her mom. She looked up at him and rolled her eyes as a comment on her on going conversation with her mother. "I've gotta go to the school. Are you spending the day with your mom?"
"Mom, can you hold on just a sec?" Sophie asked into the receiver. Putting her hand over the mouthpiece, "My mom wants a tour of horizon…"
"Fine by me. I could use your help with the Cliffhangers this afternoon—especially the new kid Mark, but other than that you can have the day to your self," Peter offered.
"Thanks. I think I'll need the break from mom—I'll see you later," Sophie said kissing him goodbye. "Mom, sorry to keep you waiting. I know it's rude, but it was about the kids." (one sided phone conversation here…)
"No, mom they're all fine—just trying to work out my schedule."
"Yes, mother. I will give you a tour of the school. Say around 10am—I'll meet you then. You sure you know how to get there?"
"Fine mom. Bye." Sophie said hanging up the phone. She shook her head frustrated by her mother's presence and apparent disapproval.
At breakfast Juliette was giving Auggie the cold shoulder. He was getting tired of being ignored and was ready to make a decision about whether or not to try the new school. He wanted nothing more than to be home with his parents, but he would miss Jules, regardless of what she thought. She was the best thing that had happened to him in a long time. She always made him feel so special—if only she could understand how important his family was to him.
He got up suddenly and knocked his chair over by accident. The rest of the Cliff's knew something was off, but were startled to see him so agitated. He righted his chair and then picked up his tray. He would tell Peter this morning that he wanted to visit this new school next week. Jules watched him leave the table desperately wanting to say something to make things better between them, but she didn't know what else to say. She had told him how she felt—she didn't want him to leave.
Peter was straightening the desk in his office when there was a knock at the door. He yelled, "Come in!" and the door opened. Shelby walked in with a stack of papers and a large book. She walked over to his desk and dropped the items onto the floor with a loud thud. She stared at them for a moment and then slumped into one of the chairs.
"Shelby? What's wrong?" Peter almost laughed. She was acting like a small child. It was rare for her to want to talk to him privately outside of their sessions unless there was something really bothering her. Then again Scott was still here so maybe this all had something to do with that. He leaned over to get a better look at the pile of papers she had just dropped on the floor. He couldn't quite tell, but he thought they might be college applications and information.
"Why in the world would anyone put themselves through this voluntarily?" Shelby asked quizzically.
"Through what Shel?" Peter was playing dumb for now trying to force Shelby to get to the point.
"This college application crap. All these questions: What is the most important thing you've ever accomplished? How would you describe yourself? What do you value most in a person? Blah blah blah…" Shelby whined leafing through some of the applications in the pile.
"We talk about that stuff every day. Shouldn't be too hard to write it down too?" Peter suggested.
"Yeah, but here I know who's reading it. Besides what school would want a reject like me?"
"Shelby, since you've been here your grades have improved steadily. Your test scores are good too. So I can't imagine there isn't a good fit for you somewhere. It may take some time to find it—but its there. Maybe we could set up some campus visits for you?"
"Who said I even want to go to college anyway? Everyone just assumes. I couldn't afford it even if I tried," Shelby chided.
"OK so what do you want to do?" Peter asked willing to play her game for the moment.
Shelby didn't respond—this was the problem. She didn't know. College was the expected step for normal kids her age, but since when had she been normal. She couldn't even decide whether or not to go home for the holidays, let alone what to do for the next four years. She was used to making it one day at a time not planning anything.
"Scott wants…" she started but Peter quickly interrupted.
"Shel this isn't about Scott—I know you two miss each other and it would be great to go to the same college, but what's good for him might not be what's right for you…" Peter cautioned. She didn't want to hear this and neither did Scott. Peter knew this from his last talk with Scott—he had suggested Scott back off the college thing with Shelby—to give her a chance to find it on her own and not to push so hard, but apparently he didn't listen.
"It's so hard… so hard to be with him knowing he's leaving tomorrow. Knowing I won't see him again for months. Knowing I've disappointed him by not agreeing to apply to the same schools, or even any schools for that matter. I don't want to hurt him…" Shelby was on the verge of tears fighting them back best she could.
"Give it some time. Maybe talk to Kat? She had first hand experience with all the above. Leaving horizon, going to college, long distance relationships…"
"It's not the same," Shelby said righteously.
"Maybe not, but you two aren't listening to me—so it was worth a shot," Peter said grinning. Shelby laughed. Peter was giving good advice, just not the advice she wanted to hear.
Out in the yard, Grace and Mark had been spending most of the day together. Sarah was curious about the new Cliffhanger and how he had become so close to Grace so quickly. He had only been there a day and he was already breaking rules. It was expected that you would stay with your assigned group for the first week, but Auggie, his first week buddy, was no where in sight. From first glance you'd think he was assigned to the Rangers…
Auggie was outside Peter's office and heard voices. He didn't want to wait in case he changed his mind. There weren't usually sessions this early, he wondered who it was? Sounded like Shelby—He didn't think she'd mind the interruption so he knocked on the door quietly. He heard Peter invite him in from the other side of the door. He turned the knob and opened the door just enough to stick his head in.
"Hey. Didin't mean to interrupt Shel. But I need to talk to Peter."
"Can it wait Aug?" Peter asked. He wanted to get to the bottom of this college stuff with Shelby before Scott left, but Shelby had another idea.
"Peter, it's ok. We're done. I'm going to think about the whole thing for a while. There's no rush –I have at least another month anyway before I have to decide where to apply," Shelby said. She was actually relieved to have a way out. She got up and left his office, purposely leaving the pile of applications behind. Peter picked up the stuff and placed it aside in case she came back for it later. He had a strong feeling she might. Auggie came in and sat down in the same chair Shelby had just been in.
"So Aug. What's up?"
"Well man. I've made my decision. I wanna go see this art school. Not promising anything. OK?"
"Sounds great Auggie. I'll contact your parents and let the school know. How about next week?"
"Sure…"
"Did you get a chance to talk to Jules," Peter probed. He knew that things were not going so well between the two and that this was probably the reason.
"Yea. She didn't take it so well…"
Jules had looked all over for Auggie after he left the breakfast room, but she couldn't find him. She wanted to apologize for being so selfish and insensitive. She really would miss him. Last night she had gotten so mad at herself, for treating Auggie so badly, that she had almost cut again. This scared her more than the thought of Auggie leaving. She needed to talk to Sophie, but she was no where to be found.
Just as Jules rounded the path in front of the office, Sophie drove up the road followed by another car. "Just in time," Jules thought. Sophie got out of the truck and headed over.
"Hey Jules. What's up?" Sophie asked.
"I was hoping to…" Jules was interrupted by Sophie's mother.
"Sophie dear, would you help me here?" Her mother called.
"Just a sec. mom… Jules what is it?" Sophie pleaded. Jules was surprised to see a well-dressed perfectly made up woman get out of the car behind Sophie. There was a slight physical resemblance between the two—but nothing in their mannerisms.
"Nothing that can't wait. Who's that?" Jules asked curiously.
"That is my mother…" Sophie said smiling at Jules. Juliette knew what that smile meant. It was the "this is the witch from hell" and "it's my mother so I have to be nice" look. Juliette could empathize completely.
"Mom, this is Juliette. One of the students here at Horizon," Sophie introduced the two.
"It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Becker," Juliette said politely extending her hand to the older woman.
"Likewise my child. You are a very pretty young lady," Mrs. Becker shook Juliette's hand gently.
"Thank you," Juliette blushed, proud that someone thought her pretty, aside from Auggie.
"Jules, maybe you could show my mom around some. I need to speak with Peter," Sophie suggested.
"Sure no problem!" Juliette was excited that Sophie would trust her with Mrs. Becker.
"But dear, I want to meet this Peter fellow…" her mom started impatientlys.
"Mom. Please. I promised you would, but he is working right now. After lunch he has some free time and he'll be at dinner tonight—you'll have plenty of time to grill him then."
"Yes, whatever you say, dear. Just thought you'd want to spend more time with your mother. Not every day we see each other," she quipped.
"I won't be long. Meanwhile you're in good hands with Juliette," Sophie assured her. Sophie knew she had to leave quickly before she said something in front of Juliette that she might regret.
"Well darling," Mrs. Becker turned to Juliette. "Looks like it's just the two of us. Where shall we begin?"
"Here, I'll show you around and introduce you to some other students…" Juliette said nervously.
Mark watched Grace run back to the dorm. She wasn't feeling so well this morning, and he was worried. She said it was normal, but it didn't make him feel any better. Sarah saw the opportunity to talk to the new student while Grace was away. Grace had been protecting Mark up to this point and none of the counselors had gotten a chance to talk to him alone.
"You're Mark right?" Sarah asked.
"Yea. So?"
"Hi, I'm Sarah. I'm the Ranger's counselor. Just thought I'd introduce myself."
"Oh. Nice to meet you," he mumbled trying not to be too rude.
"So how are things going so far? Food's not so good, but the rest it pretty good," Sarah teased.
"OK I guess," Mark admitted. He was a terrible liar. Grace knew this and that was why she had been hovering so.
"Something bugging you?" Sarah asked quietly.
Mark closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He wanted his mom, but she was gone. He tried to talk to her sometimes—but lately she wouldn't respond. Since her death he had always felt connected to her, until… Until that night his brothers hurt Grace. Sarah reminded him of his mom a little. She spoke softly and seemed to carry the power to make everything ok. His mom had been good at making pain go away magically, as if it had never happened. He needed that now.
"I miss my mom…" he started.
"Homesickness is common the first few days," Sarah said unaware of his tragic circumstances.
"I wish it were that simple… My mom's dead. She died when I was eight. Sometimes I miss her so much…" Mark's eyes were getting bleary but he was determined not to cry today.
"So you live with your dad now?" Sarah was only vaguely familiar with his background. Since he wasn't part of her group she had just looked at his file briefly. Peter made it a point to have all the counselors know something about each of the students regardless of which group they were in.
"Yeah and step mom…"
"When did your dad remarry?"
"Last year," Mark said looking up at Sarah. She was asking all kinds of questions, what if she was able to put two and two together. Then he and Grace would be busted. He had to stop talking.
"How did that make you feel?"
"OK I guess. She was nice enough. Didn't try to replace my mom. Just that my dad…" He had to stop, but it felt so good to talk about it all finally. He didn't want to stop. He was lost in thought remembering the past year. Grace's mom was so sweet, but she was also very busy being a lawyer. She and his dad were rarely home. If they hadn't worked late that night none of this would have ever happened.
"Mark? What about your dad?" Sarah felt that she was getting through. What she would find on the other side was still a mystery, but she was so close.
"He was so busy with his job he wasn't around much," he lied. He was uncomfortable lying to Sarah, but he knew why he had to. Just at that moment Grace reappeared looking better.
"Hi Sarah, Mark… What's up?" Grace asked suspiciously.
"Not much," Mark said happy to change the subject.
"I was just getting acquainted with Mark. You two seem to have become friends quickly. I'm glad Mark has someone to count on," Sarah covered.
"I guess. Auggie has been hard to find—Peter should have assigned someone else to be Mark's buddy…" Grace admonished.
"Well I'm glad he has you! I'll let you two alone. Nice to meet you Mark," Sarah said waving good bye.
"You too…" Mark said to her back as she walked away.
"You didn't say anything did you?"
"Don't worry Grace I'm not that stupid…"
"Good…"
The Cliffhangers were sprawled out on the couches in the lounge waiting for lunch to be served. Scott was doing his time with the rest of the group just like he'd promised Peter. Juliette entered with Sophie's mom in tow. The tour was almost over and Jules decided to introduce Mrs. Becker to the rest of the Cliffhangers.
"Guys, I'd like you to meet Sophie's mom. Mrs. Becker, these are the Cliffhangers: Scott, Daisy, Ezra, David, Shelby, and… Where's Auggie?" Jules asked searching the room for her boyfriend.
"In with Peter... It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs. Becker," Scott said shaking her hand as politely as possible.
"My what an energetic group of young people. You are all in Sophie's group?" Mrs. Becker asked.
"Yup, aren't we the cutest," Ezra said sarcastically. Everyone, including a hesitant Mrs. Becker, laughed.
"Precocious too, I see. I guess my daughter has rubbed off on you," she said smiling. Just then Peter and Sophie emerged behind Auggie.
"Mom? How was the tour?" Sophie asked.
"Juliette was a wonderful tour guide," she smiled turning to Jules, "Thank you dear for being so sweet, you were very nice to show me around."
"You're welcome Mrs. Becker!" Juliette said beaming from the compliment. How could Sophie not like her mom? She was so nice.
"Guys, I think you should get ready for lunch—we have group in an hour, ok?" Sophie suggested. The gang realized she wanted them to get lost and they got up very quickly. Saying their good-bye's to the three adults. When they had left Sophie took a deep breath and started up again.
"Mom, there's someone I'd like you to meet…" She said cautiously.
"Ahhh, you must be Peter. I'm Marianne Becker," She said extending her hand for him to shake.
"Mrs. Becker it's a pleasure to meet you," Peter said graciously.
"Please, call me Marianne." She looked him over curious what her daughter saw in this man. He was in good shape and quite attractive, but he couldn't be making much money here in the mountains—how did her daughter expect to support herself and her family? Marianne shook her head unconsciously.
"Marianne, would you join us at lunch?" Peter offered.
"Peter, I thought maybe we'd eat at Rusty's for lunch…" Sophie said suggestively.
"What dear, you don't want me here?" Her mother sounded insulted.
"No mom, That's not it. Just that the food here isn't…" Sophie said exasperated.
"Whatever dahling… I'm sure it's fine. If its good enough for all these children, sure it would be good enough for me?" Marianne said harshly. Sophie tried not to read too much into that and let it roll off her back.
"OK then ladies, shall we?" Peter offered Mrs. Becker his arm and escorted her to the dining room. Sophie took longer to get back to the table since she stopped to talk to a student about his late homework. Back at the table Mrs. Becker had started in on Peter.
"So how long have you been here at horizon? Do you plan to make this your career?" she asked sounding like she couldn't imagine there was money or a future in troubled teens.
"I've been here for a long time and I intend to stay as long as there are kids who need me," Peter assured.
"Oh, well then, what about your own family? Don't you want to get married? Children?" She inquired briskly and with that Sophie sat down. She couldn't believe her mother had started in already.
"Mom can't this all wait…" Sophie pleaded.
"I'm just trying to get to know this important man in my daughter's life—is that a crime?"
"No… just…"
"It's ok Soph. I'm glad to answer her questions," Peter said. This comment was rewarded by an icy look from Sophie. Luckily her mother was more concerned with trying to figure out what she was eating at that moment. Sophie wanted to be the one to tell Marianne that they were engaged. Peter hinted that she better hurry or he'd beat her to it.
"Mom, Peter and I are engaged," Sophie blurted out. Marianne dropped her fork and looked across the table at her daughter.
"Oh, I see…" Marianne said sounding offended.
"Mom, I was planning on telling you at dinner—not here at the school."
"I'm surprised you decided to tell me anything. You usually aren't very honest with me…" her mother criticized.
"Mother that's not true… and I'm not the only one who hasn't been so honest…" Sophie snapped.
"What do you mean by that?"
"Just…" Sophie started furiously, then stopped. "Nothing mother. I don't want to fight right now, I have to run group."
"I see nothing has changed. You're either lying or not telling me anything. Perhaps this was all a bad idea," Marianne balked.
"Maybe it was," Sophie sighed and left her mother at the table beside a very quiet Peter.
"You'll have your hands full with that one. I hope you're prepared," Marianne warned him.
"That passion is what attracted me to your daughter in the first place," Peter teased. Marianne just rolled her eyes in bewilderment.
"Well I guess I should be going. I will see you all at dinner tonight, unless I have made her too mad…"
"We'll be there. Both of us, I promise you," Peter assured her.
"I won't hold my breath…"
The cliffhangers decided they wanted to have group outside. It was suddenly warm again--an Indian summer. Everyone wanted to be outdoors. The fight with her mom distracted Sophie, and the group began to lose focus. Especially Shelby and Scott, it was the last full day of his visit. They wanted to make the most of their remaining time together.
"Soph? Jules asked you a question," Scott interrupted her thoughts.
"Oh sorry… What was it Juliette?"
"Just wondering how long your mom was here for?"
"She leaves tomorrow," Sophie said coolly.
"Just like Scott…" Shelby sighed.
"Shel, you want to add something to the group?"
"Just that it sucks Scott has to leave tomorrow… He hasn't been here long enough" This drew a resounding agreement from the rest of the group, well except Mark who didn't really know anyone. Sophie thought, "Mom has been here too long already—it's time for her to leave…"
"Hey guys don't sweat it… I'll be back to visit before you know it!" Scott said trying to add a positive spin on his leaving… He didn't really know when, or even if, he'd be back again…
"We'll look forward to it Scott," Sophie said trying to end group on a positive note. "So why don't you all go make the most of your time together?"
"Sounds good to me!" Shelby said eagerly.
"Ahhh… true love…" David's voice was dripping with sarcasm, "Don't forget to come up for air every once in a while." The cliffhangers all laughed at this and disbanded the group session so fast that Sophie couldn't get another word in. She just shrugged and let them go. She had enough on her mind right now.
"Soph?" Jules asked hanging back from the rest of the gang.
"Hmm?"
"I know this might sound totally weird coming from me of all people, but give your mom a break, ok? She seemed cool and she was pretty impressed with the stuff you were doing here. I just think she misses you more than anything," Juliette offered.
"Thanks Juliette, but it's complicated. Things happened a long time ago that are hard to forget or forgive. It's hard after all this time to feel any connection with her," Sophie lamented.
"I know how that is," Jules said wistfully. Sophie placed her hand on Juliette's shoulder and smiled warmly before heading back to Peter's office.
Marianne was waiting impatiently at Rusty's for Peter and Sophie to arrive. She had gotten there a few minutes early, but was still annoyed the two were not there yet. She paced back and forth in front of the small restaurant looking patronizingly at the people coming in and out of the restaurant. Finally she noticed the dingy truck sputter into the parking lot. She shook her head at the noise that car made—if only Sophie had a real job—she could afford a more appropriate car.
"Hi mother," Sophie said with as much enthusiasm as she could muster.
"Marianne, Good to see you again," Peter smiled.
"Yes, well, why don't we get inside. It is a bit too damp out here for me," She said curtly.
"By all means mother. After you," Sophie snipped.
Peter glared at Sophie urging her to be more civil. Sophie was in no mood to be nice tonight. He mother just got under her skin and that annoyed Sophie the most.
"Hi Annie. I'd like you to meet Sophie's mother Marianne Becker. Marianne this is Annie, She owns the restaurant," Peter explained.
"Pleasure to meet you Mrs. Becker, and welcome to Rusty's," Annie said graciously. "Peter you all can sit anywhere—I'll be over with menus in a sec."
"Thanks Annie."
The three headed for a quiet table near the back. Peter felt it would be best in case dinner got out of hand. They were seated and Annie delivered the menus.
"So, Peter have you set a date for this wedding?" Marianne asked ignoring her daughter for the moment. Sophie was irked that her mother couldn't leave well enough alone and had to push the subject.
"Sophie and I have been discussing it. We were thinking about getting married over the holidays," Peter said smiling at Sophie. Soph was along for the ride on this one. She didn't want to get into a battle with her mother over the wedding—she didn't even want her mother there. "I'm awful," Sophie thought to herself, "Most girls dream of nothing else but a perfect wedding with their mother being so proud—I know I'll disappoint her so what's the use…"
"Christmas wedding? That's interesting. We're you planning on having it in a church," Marianne asked looking reproachfully at her daughter.
"No mother. We were thinking of having it at the school," Sophie added indignately.
"Don't have to be so snippy. I was just curious. It's not every day my only daughter gets married for the first, an hopefully last, time," Marianne declared with disapproval.
"What makes you think you have the right to barge in here and start criticizing the way I live my life or who and how I want to marry. I hear nothing from you for years, and now? Why? Just to make me miserable? Just because you couldn't have the perfect life?" Sophie couldn't take it any longer. She had reached her boiling point. Peter took her hand trying to calm her down, but Sophie yanked it back continuing her rampage. Marianne just stared blankly at her daughter.
"All those years growing up all I ever wanted was your approval. Was it that hard to say you were proud of me? Was it?" Sophie continued.
"Was it so hard to try to make me proud?" Marianne countered. Peter couldn't believe he had just heard that.
"Ladies…" Peter started.
"Stay out of this," Sophie and her mother snapped simultaneously. Peter shrugged and kept his thoughts to himself, for the moment.
"Make you proud? That's beautiful! All I ever did as a kid was to try to make you proud!" Sophie was practically yelling at her mother now.
"Calm down. Really child. We are in a public place," Marianne scolded looking at the starting faces around the restaurant.
"I don't give a damn what they think mother. That's the number one difference between the two of us," Sophie said harshly.
"You think working at this school that you have learned everything about raising a child. Wait until you have children of your own. Only then will you understand. You carry a child for nine excruciating months and give them life and this is what you get in return," Sophie's mother said coldly.
"I guess I'm lucky then!" Sophie said ready to break in to tears any second. She looked at her mother, who couldn't bear to make eye contact, and threw her menu onto the table. "I've had enough." Sophie stormed out of the restaurant and headed for Peter's house on foot. It had turned incredibly cold since sunset and Sophie was shivering—half in part from the cold and half from her uncontrollable sobbing.
"How could she be so cold?!?" Sophie was talking to herself out loud wandering down the road. Had she been rational that night Sophie would have realized her mother had no way of knowing that her daughter couldn't have children. If Marianne had known the truth she would have never said those harsh words to her daughter. Tonight Sophie was in no mood to be realistic—her mother had hurt her again and she would not be able to forgive so easily.
"She never did have the guts to stand up to anyone," Marianne said to Peter back at the table.
"Look Mrs. Becker," Peter addressed her formally causing Marianne to take notice. "There are a few facts you're missing right now. Sophie is trying to deal with her past—to reconcile the pain and alienation she felt growing up, and now compounding it is her fear of the future. She is scared to make the same mistakes you made with her father. It would help her to understand why she never saw him after you two separated."
"You're saying she blames me for her problems? Since I took her away from her father all those years ago she is still punishing me today?" Marianne asked incredulously.
"I think in someway she blames herself for having split the two of you up. Even I don't know the details—she is reluctant to talk about this part of her life."
"I don't know why she is so tied up with all that—it is the past. Done. Finished. Time to move on. She is a grown-up. She shouldn't need my approval anymore. I don't know what more I can do."
Peter took a deep breath. He wanted to yell at this woman—to make her see how much she had hurt her daughter. How reckless she had been with her child's fragile ego. Instead Peter tried to separate his feelings and look at the situation more objectively.
"Mrs. Becker, I think now, more than ever, Sophie needs her mother to be a friend—to listen, to comfort, to help her make sense of her past. Maybe even tell her about her father. She is doing an amazing job with the kids here at Horizon. She has made a good life for herself—something she should be proud of, but her lack of self worth as a child still haunts her and is now compounded by her not being able to have children…" Peter stopped. He had gone too far. He never meant to betray her trust like that. How could he? He wracked his brain to figure out how to fix the mess he'd just made. How would Sophie ever forgive him for exposing her secret to her mother?
"Oh god… Why didn't she say anything? All the comments about not understanding until she had kids of her own. How could I be so obtuse? My dear child…" Marianne lamented.
"Look Marianne, I should have never said anything. It wasn't my place, but I did and now we both have to face the consequences. Sophie needs a mother—possibly even more so as an adult. She may be grown up in here," he said pointing to his head, "but in here pointing to his heart she's hurting as much as any of the children at Horizon."
"I don't know what to do… What could I ever say to make it better?"
"Sometimes you don't have to say anything—just listen. She needs you not to judge her, but to support her," Peter explained.
"Do you think she'd talk to me tonight? After all this?" Marianne asked.
"All you can do is try. Don't give up on her. She loves you—she wouldn't be so difficult if she didn't," Peter said. Marianne smiled—he had a point.
"Would you mind giving us some time alone?" She asked.
"I'll leave that up to Sophie. I'm guessing she's home by now and the walk gave her a chance to cool off some. You're welcome to stay the night," Peter offered.
"We'll see—one step at a time. Right?" Marianne smiled trying to hold back her own tears.
"Sure."
They walked out of Rusty's together and headed back to Peter's house. It would be a long evening for Marianne and her daughter. This talk had been too long in coming.
Sarah was writing in her journal by the fire when she heard a noise from the Ranger's dorm. She saw a figure coming down the stairs. As it approached she recognized the figure as Mark. She closed her journal and watched him walk across to the wood shed. Mark sat down on the ground against a stump looking up to the sky as if he were looking for something or someone. He seemed peaceful on the exterior but Sarah wondered what was going on inside of his head. She wandered over and clearing her throat as she approached trying not to scare him.
"Hi Mark. Trouble sleeping?"
"Sort of…"
"Want to talk about it?"
Mark just shrugged. He wanted to say, "YES!" but he knew Grace was counting on him. He was relieved when Sarah continued.
"I love the stars here," She said gazing up at the night sky.
"They make you feel so insignificant, though. All those stars millions of miles away, light having left so many years before, just to make it to earth now. I have enough trouble struggling to make it through one day. I can't even imagine my presence being around years after I have died..." Mark began coldly. "Heck I can't do anything right. I'm not a good athlete, only an average student, can't cook, can't... can't even stand up for myself... Why should I be remembered?"
Mark spoke so coldly and detached it was as if he was talking about another person in another place, long ago. Sarah was surprised by his lack of emotion.
"It's hard to pass through this world without having an affect on someone. Take for instance Grace. Your presence seems to calm her. She is less jumpy when you're around. That should count for something. (Mark shrugged impassively) No? What about your family?" Sarah pressed.
"Like they'd miss me," Mark answered sarcastically. "Two perfect older step-brothers from my father's first failed marriage, then me from the true love of his life, who died picking me up from soccer practice. (He paused smiling at the thought of his mother, then continued.) Mom had always insisted I try sports. I have two left feet--how could she ever expect me to be any good. I was a colossal disappointment to dad, but somehow she always managed to see the good in it all."
Mark had never talked about her death with anyone before. Not even Grace. He was mad at mom tonight. She hadn't come to him lately in his dreams, to make the pain go away like she usually would. This time he had been on his own. The voices in his head were growing louder, "You are worthless, you made this happen, you hurt Grace, you don't deserve to live…" He squirmed unconsciously, breathing slowly and deliberately, trying rid his mind of the disparaging voices. He found no tears in his pain. He was cold, numb. He couldn't feel her near him--he had lost the sense of his mother's presence--her beauty. He continued talking as if there were no one else present.
"That day she died… (deep breath) Mom watched the last soccer game I ever played. Late in the game I had scored--for the other team --on my own goal. Talk about lame. She just smiled and said it was a really good shot and that she was proud of me. What did I ever do to deserve that? Mom was quiet and calm and beautiful. She was mom… Everything was ok when she was near. (pause to look up at the stars)
"She was singing when it happened. She was singing something beautiful I had never heard her sing before. It was happy, she was alive… Not a minute later she was gone. A drunk driver ran a red light and slammed into the drivers side of the car instantly killing her... He walked away without a scratch… My father never said it, but I know blamed me. I reminded him of her every time he looked at me. I wasn't strong. I couldn't save her. I failed …"
Mark's voice trailed off stopping altogether. Sarah was almost crying for him. Mark had stayed so calm throughout his story. It was unnerving to her.
"Mark, It wasn't your fault. You couldn't have stopped that man from driving drunk or running that red light. It was out of your hands--you said she died instantly. You weren't to blame. You aren't weak--missing your mother is not a sign of weakness. It just shows how much you love her and honor her memory," Sarah tried to reach Mark, but his walls were growing higher. He was lost in his head, and Sarah was concerned.
"She doesn't talk to me anymore. I was weak--I disappointed her. I couldn't protect…" Mark wanted to say that he couldn't protect Grace, but he didn't.
"Who doesn't talk to you any more? Mark, does your mom talk to you?" Sarah asked again this time more forcefully.
"Noooooo!" Mark yelled vigorously rubbing his hands against his forehead trying to get rid of the voices.
"She's forgotten me…" he hissed.
"It's ok… It's ok Mark… I'm sure she hasn't forgotten," Sarah's voice kept repeating. Mark found her soothing--her voice, her gentle touch on his shoulder… It was as if his mother was there for a moment… The tears started slowly, but swelled in his eyes until they flooded over. He rested his head on Sarah's shoulder closing his eyes and savoring the momentary peace.
Peter was sitting on the porch steps looking up at the same stars that Mark had been looking to for answers. Peter was remembering his night with Sophie under the stars, then the night at the MORP under the meteor shower. Her proposal had been timed perfectly, romantically. If only I had been so clever--he chuckled to himself. Sophie was so important to Peter. It was often so difficult for him to watch her struggle with her pain. He wanted to be inside right now, beside her, holding her hand, telling her it would all be ok. She had done so much for him over the years--especially after his latest round with the pills. She had been there to pick him up, to help him through some of the toughest things he's ever faced. She was incredible when his father died, and he had been too wrapped up in his own grief to acknowledge her support. Peter loved Sophie absolutely. Now he only hoped she would forgive him for betraying her trust.
Peter got up and paced. Trying to think of other things to pass the time. His mind could only wander to the looming conversation he would have with Grace tomorrow. He saw the light in Sophie's eyes when he mentioned Grace was pregnant. He knew the wheels were spinning in her head--adoption being foremost in her thoughts. Peter knew to be more careful--he didn't have the courage to put his heart and hopes out on a limb not knowing whether or not adoption would even be a possibility. He couldn't imagine Grace being able to keep the child, but perhaps her parents were more understanding. He had to stop these thoughts too…
Luckily, at that moment, there was laughter coming from the den. He looked to the window, but couldn't see inside. The sound of laughter was alone comforting. Mother and daughter had at least reached some common ground--enough to smile amidst their tears. He steps back onto the porch and is greeted by Marianne opening the screen door.
"Hi Peter. You can come back in now," she said smiling. Peter hesitated and she tried to reassure him that everything would be ok.
Peter walked into the den and saw Sophie, tired, tear-stained, and yet as always, beautiful. Marianne picked up her jacket and walked over to her daughter. Sophie stood up and hugged her mother securely. When they parted they were smiling. Perhaps for the first time, smiling out of love and respect for each other. Peter couldn't help but feel happy for the two. He knew how much his mother had meant to him, and he was happy to see this chapter in Sophie's life end so well.
"Good night mom," Sophie smiled.
"Good night, dear," Marianne responded, then turning to Peter, "Thank you for taking such good care of my little girl…"
"Mom!" Sophie blushed.
"You're welcome--It was of course my pleasure," Peter teased winking at Sophie. "Good night, Marianne."
Peter hugged his soon to be mother-in-law and walked her to the door. Sophie joined him to watch her mother drive away. Peter sensed her departure from the door. He turned and saw Sophie facing the fireplace with her back to him. She was touching a picture of the two of them last spring climbing the mountain during Chloe's video.
Peter wanted to say something, but was having trouble reading her thoughts without seeing her face. He walked closer and finally she turned around. She had been crying again.
"How could you Peter?" she asked calmly.
"Soph. I didn't mean to. It just slipped out. Honest. I never meant to hurt you…"
"I asked you not to tell her. You promised. Now she just feels sorry for me--you heard her call me her little girl. Peter, I am no one's little girl needing to be taken care of--I am a grown up woman who can't have children!" Sophie tried her hardest to holdback the tears, but couldn't fight anymore.
"Soph…" Peter stepped closer to touch Sophie in an effort to comfort her. Sophie recoiled two steps back.
"Don't…" She twisted away from him and walked across the room.
"Please don't walk away from me Soph. We have to talk about this," Peter pleaded.
"I'm all talked out tonight…" Sophie sighed heavily, retreating to the bedroom.
The next morning Peter woke up stiff, trying to roll over. Then he remembered that he spent the night on the couch. Sophie wouldn't talk to him--he hadn't wanted to go to sleep fighting, but she wouldn't budge. So he decided to step back and give her space. Space to deal with her mother and with his mistake. He knew she would forgive him eventually--he had to believe it. She was, after all, one of the main reasons he looked forward to each new day.
He went in to the bedroom expecting to see her sleeping, but she wasn't there. He looked in the bathroom, the kitchen, the yard, the trailer… She was no where in sight. Then he noticed it--the truck was gone. Peter took a deep breath--ok where would she have gone. He called Marianne, waking her up, but Sophie wasn't there either. He telephoned the school but there was no answer--it was too early for anyone to be there and he didn't want to wake Roger--if he'd been sleeping he wouldn't have seen Sophie anyway. Peter got dressed quickly and hurried to the school.
Sophie had been driving for a while now. She was calmer, but still not ready to face Peter. He had ultimately betrayed her trust. Deep down she knew it wasn't intentional, but she couldn't shake the feeling that if he truly loved her he would never have said anything. She suddenly felt the urge to talk to her mother. She wanted her comfort and surprisingly, her advice. Sophie turned the truck around and headed to her mother's hotel.
Peter pulled up to the school and raced through the admin. building, checking his office. He bumped into Graham on the way out, but he hadn't seen Sophie either. Peter looked everywhere but couldn't find her. He hoped she hadn't run away again. He knew he had to trust that she would be back, but her history didn't comfort him any. He walked sadly back into his office. Just then the phone rang.
"Soph?" Peter asked frantically picking up the receiver.
"Uh, no… Is this the horizon school?" a raspy male voice asked on the other end.
"Oh yes. I'm sorry I was expecting a call… What can I help you with?" Peter asked adjusting his voice to sound more professional.
"I am looking for Graham Johnson--he's one of your counselors?" The man asked hesitantly.
"Yes. Can I tell him who's calling?" Peter asked suspiciously.
"Bruce. I'm an old friend… " Bruce's voice trailed off sadly. " It's important…"
"Sure let me go find him… Just a sec." Peter put down the receiver and went to get Graham in the breakfast room where he had last seen him. Graham was sitting at a table with some of the rangers talking to Grace. Peter smiled--finally I can talk to Grace too.
"Graham, There's a phone call for you in my office. He says his name is Bruce--that he's an old friend?" Peter explained. Graham thought for a moment…
"Bruce? You sure? I haven't talked to Bruce since…" Graham started but stopped realizing that it might now be appropriate to mention that the last time he talked to Bruce was when Bruce dumped him for another man… "Thanks Peter." Graham said getting up and hurrying to the office.
Peter surveyed the rest of the room hoping that he might see Sophie hanging out with the Cliffhangers, but she wasn't there. He looked back at the Rangers and again remembered Grace.
"Grace?" Peter startled her.
"Yeah?" She asked tentatively.
"Can I talk to you?"
"Now?" She asked looking at her half eaten breakfast. Peter also saw the food left on her tray and decided she should probably eat first.
"You can finish your breakfast, I'll wait," he said sitting down where Graham had been. Peter looked around the table and noticed that Mark was there.
"Mark, how are things going? (Mark shrugged) You know it helps to get to know your own group the first few weeks…" Peter said trying to encourage the boy to spend more time with the Cliffhangers.
"Uh…They weren't here when I got to breakfast," Mark lied, " I didn't want to eat alone. Is that ok?"
"Sure… Everything else ok?"
"Yeah just fine," again a lie.
Grace was eating as slowly as possible, but she was so hungry she couldn't help finishing everything on her plate. She sat quietly trying not to draw attention to her empty plate. The she got up slowly when Peter looked around again, but her chair squeaked on the floor and Peter turned back abruptly.
"All done?" Peter asked.
Grace just shrugged--there was no avoiding this any longer.
"How about we go to my office? OK?" Peter asked. Again Grace just shrugged unenthusiastically and followed Peter to his office.
Marianne Becker was just stepping out of the shower when she heard the pounding at the door.
"Who is it?" She called from the bathroom.
"Mom, it's me, Sophie…" the voice called.
"Just a sec." Marianne came to the door in a towel and opened it just enough to see her daughter standing there in tears. Marianne unlatched the door and let Sophie in. "Sophie, what is it? What's wrong?"
"I think I've ruined things with Peter. It's all my fault… I…" Sophie started sobbing on the bed. Marianne went over to her daughter and held her as she cried. The towel slowly slipped off her mother's wet hair dropping on top of Sophie's head, burying her. Sophie pulled up from her mother's arms with the towel still covering her face. It was all Marianne could do to keep from laughing at her daughter covered in the wet hotel towel. A moment later Sophie joined in, pulling the towel off her head.
"Oh, mom. I'm sorry to barge in like this. I didn't know where else to go…" Sophie admitted.
"Oh sweetie, you don't know how that makes me feel," Marianne said proudly. "Now tell me all about your fight with Peter and why you won't forgive him for telling me your secret?"
"How did you know…"
"I'm your mother--despite what you think, you're a lot like me and I probably would have been mad too," Marianne teased. Sophie smiled--she was beginning to realize that she was a lot like her mother despite her years of rebelling against the idea.
Marianne got up to get dressed as her daughter started to explain.
Graham was just leaving Peter's office when he arrived with Grace.
"Thanks Peter for letting me take the call in your office," Graham said.
"Everything OK?" Peter asked concerned.
"For now… Thanks again," Graham said hurriedly rushing out of the office. Peter didn't even have time to ask him to stay and talk to Grace with him. Oh well, Peter thought, maybe it's best just one on one.
"Grace why don't you have a seat," Peter offered. Grace sat without saying anything so Peter continued.
"SO Grace how is everything going?"
"Fine I guess…"
"You felling better?"
"Huh?" She asked confused, then as if she remembered something, "Oh yeah… better."
"Grace it's coming up on your two month review and it seems like you're just going through the motions. Part of the process here at horizon is to work through your problems, but we can't help if we don't know what is bothering you…"
"You wouldn't get it…" Grace started, then clamed up immediately. She couldn't get sucked in to his head games…
"Try me…" Peter smiled softly, but Grace just shook her head no.
"Please you have to trust me. I'm here to help."
"Look I'm fine, ok?"
"How come I find that hard to believe? You've been tiptoeing around here for the past few weeks. Sick to your stomach over something for too long to be the food. Scared to talk to anyone. Keeping to your self, even alienating yourself from Lindsay… I thought the two of you were friends?"
"Sort of I guess…" Grace had been keeping her distance from Lindsay over the past few days since Mark had arrived, but she didn't realize it had become so obvious. "Why is it so hard to believe just because I don't spill my guts to you that I'm not ok?" She continued with increased hostility.
"It's been my experience that there's usually something behind all the anger and attitude…" Peter stated matter-of-factly.
Grace knew she couldn't back out of an argument with Peter. He was too good and she was too tired of fighting. She had started feeling better--the nausea was not as bad as before and she was eating better now--almost too well… She would hold out unless things turned for the worse--or Peter decided to send her home…
"Grace, it would make things easier if you would just tell me what was wrong," Peter pleaded.
"Like I've said a million times. There's NOTHING wrong," she was getting agitated now. Peter could see the frustration on her face, he knew that she would give in eventually, but he needed her to talk sooner than later. There was too much at stake with the unborn child. He decided it was time to play his Ace. He took a deep breath before continuing.
"Grace, I had a visit from the doctor the other day, the one from the clinic?" Peter started looking at Grace's face as it melted from defiant to alarmed. "She was worried about you…"
"So?" Grace said indifferently.
"You want to explain why you went to town without telling someone?"
Grace stood up she was tired of being interrogated. She headed to the door but stopped. She realized that he knew--the doctor must have told him… She had to know whether he would send her home, back to that house where this all started. She decided to play along for a while, give him a chance… Maybe if he thought she was cooperating he would go easier on her. Then she would decide what to do.
"Why beat around the bush? What do you really want from me?" Grace asked still facing the door.
"OK then… Why did you feel you needed to see a doctor," Peter was still determined to let her tell him the truth.
"I think you already know that--other wise I wouldn't be here--so cut the touchy-feely crap," Grace said bluntly whipping around to face him again.
Peter was taken aback by her harsh tone and took a moment to recover.
"OK. So I know about the pregnancy, have you thought about what you will do?"
"Have you?" Grace asked turning the tables on him. "Kind of hard for me not too…"
"It would help me to know what happened…" Peter suggested.
"What so you can decide whether or now to send me home on the first or second bus?"
"Is that what you want?" Peter asked.
Grace stopped cold. She had never expected that he would even consider sending her home so quickly. She looked at Peter then back out the window behind him. She swallowed and then sat down hard on the couch.
"I'll take that as a no," Peter was relieved to see Grace sit. He took it as a sign she was willing to talk about this. Grace saw this as perhaps her only chance to get him to agree to her staying--at least for a while…
"I can't go home…" Grace started to cry. Peter came over and sat beside her on the couch putting a hand on her shoulder.
"It's ok, hon. Just talk to me. I promise I'll do everything I can to help you…" Peter implored.
"I can't… It's too… too much…"
"I can handle it--try me…"
"After what they did I could never go back…" Grace couldn't hold back anymore. She hadn't told anyone, not even Lindsay what happened. Of course Mark knew, but he was so upset with him self she couldn't burden him with her pain. She knew it wasn't her fault--that the boys were wrong, so what could Peter say to make it better. The nightmares would never stop…
"Who did what to you, Grace?" Peter pushed.
"My older step brothers…" She admitted.
Step-brothers!?! Peter thought. Her file said nothing about a remarriage--how did he miss it. He knew her father had died years before, but there was nothing about her mother having remarried. Her mom came alone with Grace to drop her off. Peter tried to remember something, anything, that he might have missed.
"What about your step brothers?" Peter was sure he knew the answer --they had raped her, but the details would have to come from Grace…
"It was like they owned the house," Grace started, from the beginning so she wouldn't have to go through it again. "My mom remarried only a few months before I came here. They moved into OUR house. The step-dad and his three sons. The oldest were relentless. They were always looking to hurt someone. One day I guess I was in the way…"
"What did they do that day? Did they hurt you?" Peter asked prodding her to continue.
"They did more than hurt me--they raped me…" She said coldly. Peter was somewhat shocked at her tone--it was as if she was detached from her body. Perhaps she was trying to protect herself from being hurt again, by the memory… Peter didn't want to ask the next question, but he knew he had to…
"Both of them?"
"One right after the other… like it was a game," She barely whispered. "I don't even know which one's child I'm carrying… Great way to start life huh? ..the bastard child of rape, with no idea which jerk your father is…" Grace saw the look in Peter's face--the pity, the growing anger. It made her feel warmer, but not safe. She was afraid of what the next question might be so she preempted the attack.
"Look, Peter. You can't make me have an abortion and no matter what, I won't go back to that house--not with those two living there…"
"Whoa… slow down. No one is going to make you have an abortion against your will and I haven't said anything about going home, yet…"
"Yet… why is that not comforting…"
"I have to tell your mother…"
"Figures… But can it wait, until I figure out what I'm going to do?" Grace pleaded.
"Have you thought about it? What you are going to do? You could ask your parents for help…" Peter said.
"Yeah right… Look I have a couple of options, but ultimately, I've decided to put the baby up for adoption. I'm not sure I could face this child every day knowing…" Grace stopped. Peter sensed that she wasn't finished and just sat there waiting, patiently.
"Peter, I'm scared. I can't go home… I can't…" She sobbed, then looked up as asked the obvious, "Guess staying here is out of the question?"
"As much as I'd like it, Horizon isn't equipped to deal with teen pregnancies. A lot of the activities are too strenuous, and we don't have a full time doctor on staff. But I will promise you one thing…" Peter smiled taking her hand in his. "I will help you find a place that can help--maybe work something out so that you can stay here for a while and then return after the child is born… You won't have to be alone, Grace. Just let us help…"
"DO you have to tell my mom?" She asked again.
"I think you should tell her," Peter suggested.
"ME!?! She's going to hate me…"
"I don't think so… I can be there when you tell her…"
"Thanks, but if its ok, I want to wait until I have another option lined up…"
"You can have until the end of the week, I can't let it go any longer," Peter said frankly. "It'll be ok, Grace. We're here for you…"
Grace buried her head in Peter's shoulder, and he let her cry. Holding her until the tears subsided. He felt relieved to know the truth. What he wouldn't tell her right now was that he had to notify CPS, but that could wait at least until tomorrow…
Shelby and Scott are sitting by the docks talking about his plans for the Holidays.
"So you going home for Christmas, Shel?" Scott asked casually.
"Haven't decided… Jess wants me to, but I don't know."
"Maybe after you could visit me at my Mom's in Taos for a couple of days… She already said it would be ok…" Scott offered eagerly.
"Really?" Shelby said exited.
"Yeah really… She likes you… She especially likes that you make me happy," Scott said kissing Shelby. Shelby blushed.
"Look I'll see what my mom says--still have to get the parental permission slip signed," Shelby said sarcastically. "Maybe I'll ask Peter to help…"
"Sure he'd love that! Yes, Mrs. Merrick--I think it would be a good idea for Shelby to visit Scott for the holidays. They need time alone…" he mocked. Shelby elbowed him.
"Ouch! That hurt… Wouldn't want to hurt the star football player or anything…" Scott teased.
Scott wasn't going to get away with that one. Shelby's face grew playfully devious, as Scott looked at her concerned. Suddenly Shelby launched at Scott tickling him mercilessly.
"Oh Shel! (gasp) Please (laugh) I can't… Stop tickling…" Scott cried thrashing around barely trying to get free from her.
"Say mercy! Or I'll keep tickling you…" she teased.
"OK MERCY… please I can't take it…" Scott yelled. Shelby let up just enough for Scott to turn the tables on her. He started to tickle her and then rolled her over. Suddenly he stopped and let her catch her breath, before kissing her passionately on the lips.
"hmmm…" She murmured. "I like that…"
"I'm gonna miss you Shelby…" Scott said sitting up.
"Me too... (smile) Thanks for surprising me this weekend. It was really special."
"You are really special," Scott said. "Promise me you'll talk to your mom about Christmas?"
"You can count on it… I might even look at some college aps…" Shelby smiled.
"Really? Thanks! It means a lot to me…"
"I know…"
"Hey let's go back--I want to say good by to everyone--I have to leave soon…" he said looking at his watch.
"Already?"
"Time flies…"
They walk back to the lodge and we see the Cliffhangers shaking hands with Scott and hugging him good bye. Shelby walks him out front where they find Peter watching Sophie get out of her truck.
"Glad I caught you two. My ride will be here any sec," Scott said to the two counselors.
"Hey Scott, It was really good to see you. I'm glad things are going so well at home," Sophie offered. "You know you're always welcome here…"
"Thanks Sophie. Good to see you too," Scott said hugging her. Sophie walked up the stairs to the main building.
"Well Peter…" Scott started extending his hand forward.
"Scott… I'm proud of you…" Peter said taking Scott's hand and pulling him in for a bear hug. "Remember I'm always here."
"Thanks, for everything… I'll call when I get home…" Scott said. The taxi pulled up to take Scott to the airport.
"Guess this is it," Shelby said. Peter smiled at the two and stepped back to give them space.
"Miss you already…" Scott smiled.
"Me too…" Shelby kissed him goodbye and looked at the Cab, "better get going--don't want to miss your flight…"
"Yeah… guess not-- too much horizon food might stunt my growth…" They all laughed. Scott shoved his bag in the back seat of the car and kissed Shelby one more time before getting in the taxi. Scott put his hand on the window, and Shelby blew him a kiss good bye. They all waved as Scott disappeared down the road.
Shelby had tried hard not to show Scott her tears, but she couldn't hold them back any longer. Peter got to her just as she started to sob.
"I thought I could handle it…" Shelby apologized.
"It's ok--sometimes our emotions just sneak up on us…" Peter assured her then looked up at Sophie standing on the steps.
"Peter, Thanks for letting him visit--It meant a lot…to both of us," Shelby said genuinely pulling out of Peter's embrace.
"No problem… It was good to see him… Hey, shel? Why don't you go grab some lunch…" Peter suggested.
"Yeah… Lunch…" Shelby said in a daze heading off to the lodge.
Peter watched her leave, feeling proud of the progress Shelby had made over the past year since she had been with Scott, and of how she was dealing with his absence. He turned around at the sound of Sophie's voice.
"You were really good with those two," she said.
"It wasn't hard. They have come a long way. I'm really proud of them," he said turning to face her. "I'm proud of you too. Ya know?"
"Me? Even though I acted like a jerk?"
"Call it even?" Peter teased.
In the next episodes… Is Grace's mistake going to cost a life? Will Sophie forgive Peter? Sarah reacts poorly to a situation--something from her past is still haunting her. Graham's friend needs his help. Roger steps up to help Peter out with the Rangers. The holidays near and everyone is getting restless.
