Scientists
Written by xmystorytime.
Full Summary: The scientists are at it again. Unfortunately for them, this time Yu Kanda was sleeping. Thank goodness he has a sword. Humor.
Warnings: Laughter. Hopefully.
Ships: Nada.
Disclaimer: I don't own this show. Is that not obvious?
A/N: I always wanted to write a funny story that starred Kanda, but I was never sure on how to write one. I'm always worried about being IC, but I think I did okay with this one. I based it on Kanda's previous reactions to the Komurin and the che... are the result of an odd thought. Enjoy.
It was yelling outside of his room that first woke him up.
He was not accustomed to such things, especially within the place exorcists called home, and for a second the world seemed to freeze as he hovered in the land between sleep and awareness. If the male was lucky, there would be no more noise and he'd be able to go back to sleep.
"Oh sh-"
"Lavi! Watch out!"
But it appeared luck was not on his side, as the screech of some nameless idiot who called himself a scientist echoed into his room and disturbed the spell. Yu Kanda was awake within an instance.
It was not the first time he'd encountered such things, although it was a first for him to still be sleeping by the time the scientists had managed to lose control of their experiments. Perhaps he really had been worn out after the mission yesterday.
"It's gonna shoot! Run for it!"
"Where?!"
Seeing as how it had already happened more than once, it was a safe bet to suggest it would happen once more. Fortunately for Yu Kanda... his lips curved slightly as his gaze fell upon the sword that gleamed on the floor beside him. Fortunately for him, he had a sword.
Maybe if he used it correctly, he'd be able to avoid future accidents like the one that was occurring outside.
There was another explosion, followed by series of yells and he decided enough was enough. He wasted no time in sliding out of bed, picking up his sword, crossing the floor of his room and pulling the door open. He let it slam against the wall, alerting everyone in the vicinity that he was up and pissed.
"What the hell's going on here?!" he snarled, fingering the helm of his sword and glaring around the room. The glare ceased when he realized that the scene he was looking at... might not be such a good scene to be part of.
Allen Walker, the walking replica of a bean sprout, waved from behind a face half-hidden by a t-shirt. He was just about level with Kanda and didn't seem too bothered that he happened to be dangling upside-down, or that his chest had lines of yellow paint down it, or that his hair was streaked blue. Che.
Yu lifted his eyes to the next figure that dangled from the level above Kanda resided.
The once red-haired-now-blonde exorcist saw his gaze and gave a mimic of the bean sprout's wave. It was only due to his tight grip on Walker's ankle, Yu realized, that the teenager hadn't plunged to a bloody death. Unfortunately the chain didn't seem to end there - despite Lavi's nonchalance, he, too, seemed to be held in place by another person.
Yu raised his eyes higher still, past two nameless scientists until he reached the platform that rarely appeared except in case of emergency.
Reever Wenham was the only scientist Yu knew by name and he was the only person who didn't wave to Yu when he realized the exorcist was looking at him. He seemed more concerned with keeping his grip on the thin support bar of the platform and the other scientist's wrist. The man was half on, half off the platform that hung slanted in the middle of the room. One of the cables had been snapped, which explained why there was a human chain running several floors long.
Once Yu Kanda had assessed that, although awkward, none of them would die within the next minute, he took the opportunity to study the circular area and wonder if the person who'd re-decorated it was colour blind.
It was as if someone had got a paint gun and shot blindly, creating a mesh of colours that eventually pooled into a murky brown where they all met. There were also several deep dents with the walls, like something large and strong had attacked it.
If it were akuma, there would be more panicking than this. Therefore, like he guessed earlier, the source had to be yet another experiment of the scientists that had gone wrong.
The list of Komurin's was actually growing quite long now. Che.
There came a sudden rumbling, seemingly from inside the walls, and there were shrieks from the scientists still on the platform. Those were the clever ones and had had the sense to hold something so that gravity wouldn't let them follow their colleagues like sheep.
"Ah, Kanda! You're going to have to be the one to deal with it now!" the bean sprout had the audacity to say, voice a little strained. Yu stared darkly at him, refusing to take any orders or suggestions from him, and Walker blanched before looking away, mumbling something darkly.
"If you're going to say something, bean sprout, say it to my face." Yu snarled and Walker snarled back.
"My name is Allen!" he hissed and Yu lifted his sword, ready to slice through the other at the slightest temptation... and found himself stumbling forwards from an explosion beside him. He coughed and peered through the dust, but only truly saw the culprit when the rubble had settled. His heart sank.
"Look, Yu! You've got something to point your sword at!" Lavi called cheerfully, sounding like he didn't have a care in the world. Yu's lips curled into a sneer of disgust, ignoring the comment as he took in the pathetic sight in front of him.
"You can't hurt my baby! You can't you can't you can't!" Supervisor Komui Lee bawled from on top of a monstrous machine. "I won't let you! It's had my sweat and tears and blood poured into and I can't -" Yu's eye twitched.
It was yet another Komurin that the supervisor had built.
Che.
It didn't take long before he became aware of the expectant looks from the human chain in the centre of the room. He glanced at them, wondering if they were expecting him to do something about this. Che, not likely.
As far as he was concerned, it was their mess: their problem.
"What the hell are you doing Kanda?! Knock it out already!" Lavi demanded, only succeeding in increasing the weeping mess that had become the supervisor. Yu opened his mouth, about to reply back with another snappy comment, when a swift movement caught his eye.
It was quick reflexes that saved him from being hit by a dart. The room seemed to get several degrees colder. With the darkest look he had, a look saved only for the bean sprout, he turned to stare up at a cackling Supervisor.
"You do that again and you'll find my sword rammed down your throat." he hissed, raising the sword to show he wasn't joking.
Once he was sure that Komui had got the message (if the rapidly retreating large robot was anything to go by), Yu straightened up and turned his back on the scene. It was far too much trouble to deal with so early in the morning.
"No! Don't leave us!" shouted a terrified person. Yu didn't bother looking back as he spoke.
"Deal with it yourselves. I'm going to eat." he said. Without a doubt the chaos would be over by the end of day, but thankfully by the end of the day Yu Kanda would be long gone on a mission.
He ignored the indignant cries of the other people behind him but couldn't quite hide the sinister smile as he thought of all the suffering they'd soon go through at the hands of the person he was about to go and fetch.
Komui wouldn't be able to hurt his baby sister, after all, and that was when the real fun would begin.
A/N: I had fun writing this. Can you tell?
