(DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fruits Basket or any of its characters)
A VERY CHEESY PROBLEM
PART I
One day, Tohru came home, looking desperate. Kyo walked in behind her.
"What is wrong?" asked Shigure.
"She was silent the whole way home," said Kyo.
"Are you alright, Miss Honda?" asked Yuki.
"...Cheese..." Tohru murmured quietly.
"Huh?" asked Kyo.
"I'm going to fail my Geography exam because of cheese," said Tohru, sitting down.
"What do you mean?" Shigure asked.
"We're covering the United States of America," Tohru explained, "and I lost my textbook. I don't know which United State is famous for its cheese."
"That sounds like a problem," said Kyo.
Yuki stood up and looked at her. "I wish I could help you, Miss Honda, but I can't," he said.
"Why?" asked Tohru.
"I love cheese," Yuki replied, "but I'm not an expert."
Kyo stood up and pointed a finger at Yuki. "Yeah, you're an expert on leeks."
"Quiet, you." Yuki glared at Kyo.
"No," said Kyo. "In fact, I'm an expert on leeks, myself. I can tell you where all the damn leeks grow. Right back at your stupid little secret base."
"My base is not stupid," Yuki said calmly. "Oh, that reminds me, I have not yet adequately punished you for stealing all my leeks the other day."
"Hey, Tohru was sick! She needed leek soup, and I nearly died trying to make it for her!" said Kyo in a much louder voice.
Yuki turned his head. "Quit exaggerating. Anyway..."
"You know," Shigure said, crossing his arms, "changing the subject won't help Tohru pass her exam."
Kyo looked at Shigure. "Oh, shit, you're right."
"Sorry," said Yuki.
Shigure stood up and walked over to the kitchen. "How about we think about it over some dinner? I'll check the fridge."
"I have no idea what to do," said Tohru.
"Couldn't we just go to the library?" asked Kyo.
"Not tonight," said Yuki.
"What?" asked Kyo. "Why not?"
"There's a book sale going on today," Yuki explained. "I saw the waiting line at the library. It is freakin-long. And guess who was at the end of the line?"
"Ayame?" Kyo asked.
"Good guess," Yuki replied.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! AHHAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! NOOOOOOO!"
Shigure was screaming from the kitchen.
Tohru jumped up in alarm. "What?! What is it?!"
"All of our food is gone! Every last bit of it!" Shigure exclaimed.
Kyo stared at him. "What?! Even the milk?!"
Shigure looked back in the fridge. "Wait. No. The milk's still there."
Kyo grinned. "Yay"
"Hey! What happened to my '!'?"
Yuki burped.
Kyo became enraged. "You ate the '!' you idiot!"
"I'm starving," said Yuki. "I couldn't resist."
"Don't ever eat my '!' again, you damn rat!" Kyo spat.
"Well, don't steal my leeks anymore, stupid cat," Yuki warned.
"I already told you," said Kyo, "they were for Tohru."
Shigure approached the front door. "We need more food. I'm going to get some."
"But don't I usually do the shopping?" asked Tohru.
"I need some fresh air and you need to rack your brain for the right answers to your exam until you find your textbook," said Shigure.
Kyo looked at Shigure. "What do you need some fresh air for?"
Shigure placed his arm around Kyo's shoulder. "Kyo, believe me, you will need plenty of fresh air when you are my age-- GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
Shigure raced for the back door.
"'When you are my age GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH?'" Kyo asked, confused.
"I WAS NEVER HERE!" Shigure shouted, fleeing.
"What was that all about?" asked Yuki.
Moments later, there was banging at the front door.
"Only one person could strike fear through Shigure's heart like that," concluded Tohru.
"SHI-GUR-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" Mii screeched from the outside.
