A/N: Okay so I've been toying with this idea for a while and decided to write it down to see how it would turn out. This takes place in the present, the cliff incident never happened and Tracy never told Carla the truth, she has had to live with the guilt of what happened in the fire for years until she finally breaks. So Aiden's death, losing the factory, Carla's transplant, etc have all happened and she is pushed to the edge, so to speak, so the cliff incident is taking place now, in the present, instead of when it did. I really hope that makes sense ;)

She stood there, motionless. Fear engulfed her as she looked down to the fate she has been trying to escape for so long. The cold air circling around her face kept her out of her thoughts long enough to deny her the opportunity to overthink what she was going to do. It was quiet. She was far enough away from the hustle and bustle of towns and main roads that the only noise she could hear was the flapping of wings as a murmuration of starlings flew above her. Oh, how she wished she could fly. She dipped her head and looked into the depth of the quarry, biting her lip. How did it come to this? What would happen to the things she would be leaving behind? She had run the thoughts threw her head a million times; who would miss her? Who would care? What reason did she have to stay? She simply came to the conclusion that the world would be so much better off without her. Life had been so cruel to her, more than most, she had spent years learning how to deal with each disaster until the point where she thought, why bother?

She squeezed her eyes shut tight, taking a deep breath in and holding it. "Red or black. Heads or tails. It's just the way things fall," she released, opening her eyes and bending down to pick up the bottle of vodka she had been sipping at. She tipped the bottle back against her mouth allowing the sting of the liquid to grace her throat as she drank before finishing it and throwing it over the edge. There was a moment of silence before she heard the bottle shatter to pieces off a rock at the bottom. "Heads I stand, tails I fall." Reaching into her pocket she pulled out a ten pence piece, rubbing it between her thumb and index finger before flipping it into the air and catching it again, placing it on her forearm with her hand still on top so she couldn't see the result. It didn't matter anyway, she had made up her mind. It would take more than a coin to change it.

She glanced around, taking in her surroundings. She had been so focused on the task that lay ahead that she hadn't taken a moment to think about what she was leaving behind, the memories she had made. She thought of her brother, Rob, how they used to play on this very same quarry as children and how she had came up with the idea of putting one of his long forgotten action men figures into a supermarket trolley and launching it over the edge to see if it would survive the fall. Despite her being the only girl amongst the gang of Rob's friends, and the youngest, she was fearless. They would play chicken on the edge of the cliff, each of them tossing a coin to decide who would stand on the edge and count to fifty with their eyes closed. She volunteered to do it almost every time. There was something about the thrill of standing on the edge of death that excited her. Looking over the edge now she felt nothing but numb, empty, wishing she had have taken just one step forward all those years ago, before she had a chance to screw everything up.

She removed her hand from the top of the coin on the forearm, a slight smirk creeping over her face as she looked down at the answer it gave her, the answer she had already accepted long before she tossed the coin. "Tails I fall." She took a breath, a small part of her hoping and wishing that someone had followed her, that in a few seconds they would call out her name and beckon her away from the edge. She didn't have to turn around to look to know that wouldn't the case. She thought of Nick, how much she loved him but also how much she knew she would hurt him if she stuck around. He was too good for her, she didn't deserve him. She had fought with him just before she left, ultimately finishing their relationship. She was cruel and said hurtful things in hope that it would be easier for him in the aftermath. She could never love him as much as he loved her, he would do anything for her but she couldn't even stay alive for him.

"Carla, babe, please talk to me.." Michelle's voice crept into her head. Only an hour ago had she been perched beside her, trying to say her goodbyes without making it too obvious. "Chelle, I love you, you know that. I just need some time alone." Michelle had only sighed and nodded at her, knowing not to prod her too much as she had her own way to deal with things so she simply let her go. It felt like such a waste of all the years of friendship. Although grateful that she had Michelle in Helen life to give her few moment she of joy they had experienced together, she wondered whether Michelle's life would have been far less painful and dramatic had she never been in it. She thinks back to Michelle's pained look just before she had left her. Carla was sure that if she knew the truth she would have held onto her and never let go. A small tear made its way down her cheek as she thought about her, the only true and constant thing that was in her life, the only person she would really miss. Michelle was her best friend and she couldn't bare the thought of what this would do to her. "I'm so sorry, babe.." she voiced out loud, knowing that she couldn't hear her but somehow she would know. The sound of her hoarse and raspy voice brought her back to the reality that was unfolding before her.

She looked up, taking in the blueness of the sky and she smiled as if she were at peace already. This was the only thing she had been sure about for weeks, and now it was time. She shut off her thoughts for they had only caused her to stall long enough already. Taking a deep breath she took a step forward where she was now veering over the edge, small rocks crumbling and falling from under her feet. "Tails I fall," she repeated, closing her eyes tightly and exhaling. It all came down to this. Red or black, heads or tails, live or die. The silence deafened her, her head spinning with conflicting thoughts that wouldn't switch off. A slight whimper escaped her lips as she knew it was time. Her breathing increased, her heart pounding painfully against her chest, threatening to rip through it at any moment. She reached out her left foot, leaving it to hover in the air for a moment before leaning forward.

It happened quickly. The wind rushed through her hair, her body falling almost gracefully through the air. She kept her eyes shut because although she wasn't scared to do this she didn't want her last seconds to be as terrifying as the reality was. Instead she pictured the faces of all the people she had loved, all the happy moments she had experienced, everything good she was leaving behind. Then, and only then did a moment of doubt shroud her thoughts. 'Why am I doing this? I don't want to die.' She panicked, opening her eyes just a split second before everything went black. It was too late. She had made her decision and now she would have to live with it, or rather die with it.

A/N: I really hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. I have a few ideas for the story so please review and let me know whether you'd like me to continue :)