The truth about Cinderella

Cinderella was a brat

That always seemed to talk to rats,

While she'd mop, sweep, dust,

And thoroughly polish all the rust.

When Cinderella was talking bad

Her step sisters would be so glad,

To give her all their work.

Heck yes they were jerks.

Her labor seemed like it would never end,

But that's where the plot takes a bend.

One day in late fall

There was to be a fancy ball.

Held by the prince of their land,

To get a ladies marriage hand.

Cinderella's step family was O so glad;

But Cinderella started thinking bad.

She thought, "I'll go to the ball sure enough

And then I'll steal all their stuff,

The scepters, capes, golden crowns,

And the deeds to several towns.

In my sack they'll go,

And only I will ever know."

Every girl was buying dresses

And trying new things on their tresses,

When Cinderella snuck out of sight

To buy a keg of dynamite.

Her evil plan would soon come true,

And no one even knew.

The Step Sisters decided to go to the ball

And they made Cinderella feel so small.

They laughed and poked fun.

"Ha ha", Cinderella thought, "it has just begun."

They said that Cinderella couldn't go

And instead she must stay home and sow.

Then the step mother decreed

That with her daughters she agreed.

So Cinderella was left in the house,

Ironing a bright blue blouse.

And she was crying hard because she lost

Her chance to make a holocaust.

Not long after that,

While she was singing with a rat,

An orange cab went slowly by.

She decided she would try

To high jack the cab

And maybe even start a tab.

Cinderella rushed outside

And opened the cab door wide.

She through the driver out the door

And stepped onto the cab's damp floor.

A dress lay on the passenger seat.

In beauty it was complete.

she put it on and thought it swell.

The driver was conked out since he fell.

Then she whipped the poor horse,

And by driving with extreme force,

She made it to the ball

And almost crashed it into the wall.

It was long past twilight

So she jumped out with the dynamite.

She knocked the doorman flat,

And he crashed into a tabby cat.

She went inside at a quick pace.

Then Cinderella set up the stick with a flushed face,

At midnight her plan would be complete

But for now, she would eat.

She ate the pheasant, turkey, ham,

Chestnuts, and toast smeared with jam.

Then she took the candle sticks,

Jewelry, and gold bricks.

All the palace's best riches

Made their way into her 'britches'.

At that moment the clack in the hall

Began its twelve o'clock call.

As she raced to her orange escape,

She saw the Prince approaching with a fluttering cape.

He had only come out because he wanted her to dance;

She jumped into the cab without a glance.

Unfortunately for her she lost a shoe,

She drove away as he yelled, "Who are you?"

Sadly he turned around

And was met with a horrid sound,

A huge BOOM!!!!

The palace had met its doom.

All that was left was a glass slipper,

And something that looked like a dolphin flipper.

Meanwhile Cinderella was driving fast

Thinking, "Oh! What a blast!"

She made it home safe and sound;

But the next day she was found

And sentenced to be queen,

Even though she was still a teen.

She that's the truth of Cinderella

Who hooked herself a charming fella'

Yes indeed she remained a brat,

That always seemed to sing with rats.