Just so you know, I don't re-read most of my stuff.

I could, but half the time I don't even bother, so there might be a few mistakes here and there...It's just been beaten into my head to use proper grammar, and I'm a spelling nerd for the most part.

The only trouble I have, most of the time, is when I start to type so fast (usually out of excitement, I usually really get into writing some things, it makes my heart-rate go haywire ;) that my fingers occasionally hit the wrong key. That, and "affect"/"effect". I mess that up...often. I tend to pick another word when I get stuck on one, so sometimes you might come across some ... interesting ... uses of words.

So yeah.

In any case... I present to you:

Peaches

Because we all know that life is peachy.

We also know that I love bad puns.

Humming an ironically cheery tune to himself, Hidan stared in boredom... at the face of a rock, always seeming so close to tipping over and impaling his eyes, yet never doing so.

Quite suddenly, a strange lapping sound drew his attention. He struggled to turn his head (his neck being severed by a jacked shard of rock might have made that difficult) to look at it, to find a stray cat attempting to lick up his spilled blood.

Said cat appearing starved and otherwise drained of nutrients for some reason, it was no wonder it had gone so low as to drink what appeared to be the nearest puddle of liquid around. (Which was mighty damn sad, if one thought about it. Which Hidan, having nothing better to do, did.)

...Except for the drip, every few hours, that would land squarely on Hidan's forehead.

Even more suddenly, the cat began to hack and choke.

Apparently really not liking the taste of his blood, it scrambled away, stumbling here and there to hack some more.

"Well fuck you, too." Hidan grumbled, resigning himself to staring at the rock...again. He had named it Shikamaru, for the one who had to resort to resigning him to a fate worse than death in order to dispose of him; it was an honor, really, he loved that rock.

At least now he knew why his body wasn't being eaten by insects...

Oh, yes. He went and thought it, just as a maggot began to crawl over his finger on its squishy body, followed close and far by its squishy, maggoty friends.

Well, at least he knew spiders did not taste like chicken. More like ham... yes, honeyed ham.

...Hell, no. Hidan thought bitterly as his stomach began to grumble.

Peachy.

Fucking peachy.

...Dammit! Now I want fucking peaches!

...Can peaches even fuck?

...Huh. Now that's an interesting mental image.

I like it.