Author's note:I DID REDO THIS CHAPTER! This account is owned by two people but this story is written by one person. It is written by Wizard-Theif or as Spidey (who is scared of spiders) calls me Wizzie, you may use either. This is my first Fanfiction by myself. Please don't let this info hold back what you really think about this Fanfic. Please be truthful. Or else you may learn that I'm not called Wizard-theif for nothing. I earned it. See bottom closing note. Hope you like the story. Thank you Spidey, Mossnose, Miss bossy-boots(How it pains me to say it) and me!

This is for all the Lockhart haters and if you like Lockhart (why do you?) why on Earth (or in the universe) are you reading this?

Disclaimer: I'm not J.K.Rowling because if I was Gilderoy Lockhart would have gotten hit with something worse than a memory-erasering charm (he would have gotten killed if I was able) and I own nothing except Diana Stealer. I don't own Captain Underpants either. Boo Hoo and I am insane Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

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"I see that you've all brought a complete set of my books-well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about-just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in..." Said Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of the Idiot, First Class, Unhonorary Member of the Dark Defense League and infinity times winner of the Witch Weekly Most Idiotic Moron Award.

When he had handed out the test papers he returned the front of the class and said,"You have thirty minutes. Start-now."

This is what one Miss Diana Stealer wrote/thought.

For question 1: What is Gilderoy Lockhart's Favourite Colour? He can see colours I thought his teeth blinded him. Hmmm, I think I'll put down … brown, the colour of poop.

2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition… hmm? Ooh! OOH! I KNOW THIS ONE! It's himself .

3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatness achievement to date? This could be hard. Hmmm… I guess learning to walk and talk.

4. How did Gilderoy Lockhart get rid of the Bandon banshee? How should I know I didn't read the books!! He must have smiled at her and she disappeared/ran away from his very horrible teeth that were unclean with spinach stuck in his …dun dun dunnnnn… braces. Hahaha

5. Where does Gilderoy Lockhart spend his summer holidays? Uh…In his mother's basement reading Captain Underpantswhile modeling after him….. IN HIS UNDERPANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ugh…. Creepy vision, creepy vision.

6. What is the most recent book Gilderoy Lockhart has written? Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide To Life When You Live In Your Mother's Basement while reading Captain Underpants in your underpants. It's the only thing he could write. I think…

7. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's best feature? Uhhh… His face now that it's mangled or will be. Muahahahaha Cough… cough.

8. What is Gilderoy Lockhart favourite song? Easy very easy. He has four: the Barney Theme Song, the song he learned in therapy A.K.A I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty, It A Small World After All, and I Too Sexy. Creepy again. Be gone I don't believe in you!!!

9. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's best book? Do I have to answer this? Her concince: Yes you do! Ah man!! OK… His autobiography- The Moron Inside.

10. Where did Gilderoy Lockhart get his first big break? You mean break as in nose or job? In the Daily Prophet when he wrote an article on the magical properties of poop.

11. What is Gilderoy Lockhart favourite hobby? Scooping up poop and shopping Yes, dare I say it shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!! Also looking in the mirrors. Vain Git!!

12. What do you think about Gilderoy Lockhart? Does he really what to know?? Well he asked for it. He is an airheaded, pigheaded, moronic git. Who deserves to be tortured in the most horrible ways.

13. What other Gilderoy Lockhart books have you read that weren't on the book list? Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide To household Pests only because my mom made me) I wonder if it will work on Lockhart. Santa, that is what I want for christmas…or halloween… or Hanukkah… or any holiday! For it too work on Lockhart. Please work please, I'm begging!!

I sure hope Lockhart can take a joke. Santa, Save me.

Author's note: In regards to this "Or else you may learn that I'm not called Wizard-theif for nothing. I earned it." I borrowed Spidey's hat many times I have never stolen anything else in my life. I just borrowed Spidey's hat for a few seconds to test her. She failed every time so far. Get it?? Got it?? Good.

Also My ear hurts 'cause I was talking on the phone with Spidey, while typing this story from No.5 to No.11. It took forever. Happy???

Please Review... or my friend will visit you. Just kidding... or am I? Yay I sounded like Cosmo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, I did just copied this out of the second book but I did say "I own nothing.

PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And if you have some Ideas do tell.