Welcome to the Heist! This fic is a crossover between Achievement Hunter and GTA V and will feature the various heists pulled off in their GTA V let's plays. I originally posted this on AO3, but I figured I should post it here too for your reading pleasure! Enjoy!

Chapter Summary: Geoff, the leader of the Fake AH Crew, decides that he needs to do something about his gang's shitty reputation.


WTTH


"Listen up assholes!"

Geoff Ramsey grit his teeth as he observed that the assholes were in fact not listening up. Instead, they continued to talk, argue, or in the case of Gavin and Michael, fight to see who could hold the other down the longest. (Michael was winning.)

"I said listen up!"

Ryan and Jack were arguing over the pair's latest attempted robbery, which had left a trail of twelve dead and/or maimed civilians and three dead cows in their wake. Jack was busy calling Ryan a lunatic while Ryan was insisting that killing cows sent a message: no one is safe.

"Guys!"

Ray continued to play Pokemon on his 3DS, shouting triumphantly every time his whatever-mon killed his opponent's something-or-other-chu. Geoff couldn't care less what he was playing, but the point was that he was not listening either.

"I said…LISTEN!" Geoff pulled out his gun, raised it above his head, and fired a shot into the ceiling. One of the florescent lights exploded in a shower of glass and sparks and silenced the room as the others looked at Geoff in shock.

"Geoff, what the hell?" Michael shouted, letting Gavin up off the floor. "Matt is gonna bust your ass when he hears you took out another light."

"Well if you idiots would pay attention, I wouldn't have to shoot out the god damn lights," Geoff snapped back.

"And you all call me crazy," Ryan muttered.

"Cows!" Jack yelled at Ryan. "Dead fucking cows, Ryan. Where did you even find cows in Los Santos?"

"Oh, I can always find meat," Ryan said with an evil grin.

"Ryan's a lunatic," Gavin said as everyone stared at the madman uncomfortably.

"Do I need to shoot the ceiling again?" Geoff threatened, waving his gun.

"Shut the fuck up and let Geoff talk," Ray said, finally closing the DS.

"Thanks," Geoff said to the younger man. Geoff surveyed his crew for a minute and, not for the first time, wondered how he ended up leading such a large group of incompetent dickheads.

It all had started out so well. About twelve years back, he had started The Rooster Teeth Crime Syndicate with his friends Burnie, Matt, Gus, and Jason. They dealt in petty crimes and drug trafficking under the front of a now wildly successful internet webseries, Red vs. Blue. They were actors and filmmakers by day and crime lords by night. Things went well and eventually Matt suggested that Geoff start a side project called Achievement Hunter. They would record video game achievement hunting and play throughs on the business side of things while serving as Rooster Teeth's gang front for the Syndicate. Geoff chose Jack "the Beard" Pattillo as his right hand man and they recruited several other members overtime. Jack was a good balance for Geoff, being slightly calmer and more rational. He was also a genius behind the controls of an aircraft or the wheel of a car, making him superb getaway driver.

Gavin "the Brit" Free, the nerdy Brittish guy who'd been long-time friends with Burnie, was their first recruit. He wasn't the smart bulb in the box, but he was entertaining and he did have a weirdly positive attitude no matter how many jobs they failed to do. He was also a fairly decent shot though God help you if you ever needed him to drive a car or fly a helicopter. Vehicles had odd tendencies to crash whenever he was involved.

After Gavin, Burnie and Matt discovered Michael "Rage Quit" Jones on YouTube. He was a loud mouth, angry guy who was a whiz with video games and creative with explosives. He also had money, connections, a cushy apartment downtown, and brought a decent cash and equipment boost to the gang to finance their activities. Unfortunately his rage tended to get the better of him and he would often accidentally sabotage an operation when things spiraled out of control.

Ray "Brown Man" Narvaez Jr. was recruited for his sharp shooting skills and his insanely good video games skills. He was the best of the best behind both controllers and guns. He was also the sole member of the gang that didn't botch things up…but Gavin had a tendency to partner with Ray and drag them both down into failure. He also didn't take things nearly as seriously as a criminal probably should.

Their last recruit was Ryan "The Mad King" Haywood. Ryan was a great shot, a good driver, and a great gamer. But, as his street name suggested, he was bat shit fucking crazy. He was often responsible for the trail of dead bodies and exploded buildings the gang left behind. He also had a nasty tendency to betray his fellow gang members, leaving them to get shot or arrested. He generally made up for it by taking down the cops before they could nab whoever he had double crossed, but it was something of a nuisance. Geoff had once begged Matt to get rid of the guy but his skills were too valuable…and everyone was a little afraid to piss him off. Now Geoff tolerated him. He was still a lose cannon but he had a knack for getting shit done at least.

Together they were the Fake AH Crew…and they were the worst gang Los Santos had ever seen.

"Guys, we are the worst gang Los Santos has ever seen," Geoff said.

"Tell us something we don't know," Ray said immediately.

"Fuck off Ray," Geoff said distractedly. "Look we have yet to complete the simplest of jobs. Things always start off well, but when shit gets critical, everyone loses their god damn minds."

"Ryan lost his a while ago," Gavin pointed out, making everyone except Geoff nod in agreement.

"Wish you could the say the same about your virginity, huh, Gavin?" Ryan shot back.

Gavin opened his mouth to retort, but Geoff slammed his fist down on the table. "This is serious guys! Matt is going to replace our asses if we don't pull off something big soon."

"Replace us?" Michael asked. "But doesn't that mean—?"

"Yes," Geoff said. "Yes it does mean that they will kill us the fuck off. So if you idiots want to keep your damn jobs and your fucking lives, we need to do something big and we need to do it well."

"What do you suggest?" Jack asked. "We are awful with our petty crimes. Ryan couldn't even pull off a simple robbery. Gavin failed to jack Simeon's car and instead jacked Burnie's and crashed it. Michael flipped shit on his drug deal and got everyone but himself killed and Ray executed the wrong fucking gang member because Gavin insisted that he go along and identified the wrong target." Jack shook his head. "Poor Jason. Matt was not happy about that."

"Let's not forget the fact that Jack flew the stolen private jet over the military base and got shot the fuck down," Ryan added. Jack clenched a fist and snarled at the other man, who grinned.

Geoff sighed. "Yes I know, y'all suck something awful in your individual and pair jobs. But you all have your strengths."

"Even Gavin?" Ray asked.

"Even Gavin," Geoff said. "Though fuck if I know what it is."

"So what do you suggest then?" Jack asked again.

"Well," Geoff said carefully. "We suck alone and in pairs, but maybe if we work in a group we can somehow balance each other out. Six brains have to be better than one or two right?"

"In theory," Ryan said dryly.

"Here's what I'm thinking," Geoff said as he went to his desk and pulled out a sheath of papers and a long, rolled up map, which he unfurled and pinned to the wall. On it he had routes inked out in red and several locations circled and starred. His gang looked at the map for a second and then looked back at Geoff slightly awed.

"You wanna do a big job," Jack said, understanding Geoff's intent.

"Yup," Geoff said, grinning evilly. "I wanna do a heist."


WTTH


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