I'm thinking about Sirius again. Why can't I stop? Sure he's tall and tan and muscular and has gorgeous eyes and.. and….

"Snap out of it Lily" I tell myself. "You have a boyfriend. One of the most popular guys in school, besides Sirius, and furthermore your boyfriend is best friends with Sirius. Also, to top it all off, he has a girlfriend!"

It's not that I didn't like James. I did. But we had kind of drifted apart. Well.. that;s a lie. More like I drifted away from him while he was clingy and attached to me, which is nothing like James. I don't know what's gotten into him, and I don't have the heart to break up with him and then see him cry. Also, there's no point in me breaking up with him because Sirius and I are best friends and that's all that he thinks of me. AND Marcey, his girlfriend is beautiful, which is why I hate her.

"Lily, my darling! Where are you?" Oh god here comes James

"Right here, James" I yell. Greaaat. I don't have the stomach for him right now.

But then I hear him talking to someone. Someone with a deep voice. My heart starts beating faster. James is talking to Sirius! I quickly sit up and fix my red hair

"Evans, James reckons he has to tell you something" Sirius says. I can't tear my eyes away from his lips.

"mhmmm" I say, dazed by Sirius.

"Lily," James says. "Lily, I… I"

"You what?"

"I think.. that.. I love you" James stuttered.

I was stunned. Why did he have to spring this on me so suddenly? Oh god oh god oh god what do I say?

"mmmmm" I say

"mmm?" James says, "Tha-that's not very reassuring." James jokes nervously.

"James, we need to talk.." Wow. Why did I say that? It's such a… generic, stupid thing to say. James face fell immediately

"Lily…?" I can see him trying ro reassure himself that I'm not going to break up with him.

"James, I-I just don't feel.. that spark that we used to have anymore. I think that we.. need to break up. And I really hope we can still be friends after this. I'm so sorry, James."

James' bottom lip starts to tremble. I can see the liquid in his eyes about to spill out. But he takes a deep breath and gets his composure back. Then his face turns grim. He turned on his heel and walked away.

"Well I reckon this will be fun. This shit is Sirius." Sirius says with a grin


"You broke up with him? Just like that?" Aleisha says. Aleisha is tall and beautiful with dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes. She could have just about any bloke she wants in all Hogwarts, but she doesn't want any of them. She had a really serious muggle boyfriend but they broke up about a month ago. That's her fetish, muggles.

"Yeah" I say. "Leash? What do you think?" I ask Aleisha.

"Hmmm?" she asks. She was staring at Remus again. "Isn't he so cute? And he's practically the nicest bloke in school, besides Frank Longbottom of course, but he's going out with Alice.

"Yes, we all know you're in love with Remus, Leash, but what do you think about me breaking up with Jamees?" I say.

"You broke up with James?" She said, clearly surprised.

Just then I saw Sirius get up and leave the cafeteria. I got up to go after him.

"Guys, I'm done with breakfast and I have to go start on that foot and a half essay we got from Binns." I say and walk away, after Sirius.

I follow Sirius into the Gryffindor common room where I see him meet Cassandra. Cassandra Abbot. Sirius' girlfriend. They talk for a little while and then start to kiss. I have to look away because it hurts so much. Why can't I just tell Sirius that I love him? But I know I won't, because it took 4 years of fighting with James and pretending I hated him before I admitted that I liked him. And I don't have 3 years to let Sirius know I like him because after Hogwarts we will probably go our separate ways if I never tell him.

I shake myself and see Sirius giving Cassandra a final kiss and walking away. I notice that he's going down into the boys dormitory. I sit down in a chair in the common room as Cassandra leaves to go into the girls dormitory. Sirius comes back into the common room 5 minutes later.

"Hello mate" he says to me.

"Oh. Hey Sirius, whatcha up to? I say

"I was just heading back to James in the cafeteria, but I think I'm gonna sit and wait for him here. We have things to talk about Lily."

"Like what?"

"James is really sad you know, poor bloke. And I just wondered if you have another reason for breaking up with him."

"I-I like someone else. Actually maybe love." I say, blushing.

"Who's the lucky guy?"

"None of your business, Black. So… how are you and Cassandra doing?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"We're really good. She looks really hot in a mini-skirt" He says with a wink.

"I gotta go." I say and walk away quickly.

Oh my god. He's never going to like me. Why in the name of Merlins beard do I have to like him so much?

"Wait, Lily. What's wrong?" Sirius yells after me. "Lily?"