Notes:

This took me longer this time. It isn't fluffy like the first but still a lot of fun!

Shoutout to SomethingAsian for requesting a Nancy and Dustin moment. Hope I delivered with this one.

As promised, Mike also warms up to Steve on this one.


Quidditch season was approaching and this meant that House rivalry is turning up a notch. Hufflepuffs weren't really ones to squabble with other students but that Durmstrang transferee named Billy seemed dead set on making Steve feel like he's in Azkaban.

Nancy swore that she saw redhead hit her friend with the spell that got him throwing up slugs for the entire Quidditch practice and well into midnight. Billy said that it was just a badly executed prank but it got him a week's worth of detention. He didn't take it well. Instead of apologizing, he vowed to exact revenge on the boy who had him scrubbing dirty cauldrons and vials in the dungeon.

The trio were in the library when the news broke out. Apparently, someone had blasted Steve's Firebolt which was stored in the broom closet right after he was sent to the infirmary. There were no witnesses to the act. Lucas, who was the Slytherin seeker, was the one who found the Hufflepuff brooms on the cobblestone floor with the Firebolt all but burnt to a crisp. There was no question in everybody's mind as to who should take the blame but without hard evidence, Billy was still roaming the castle scot free. Professor Clarke made a move to put a spell on the boy's wand so that they could reveal the spells that he had previously used. The Slytherin Head of House, Professor Owens, did not allow for this to happen and started rambling about stereotyping and unfair treatment.

"That arrogant prick has gone too far. All of this for a fucking game? We can't let him keep tormenting you," Nancy's voice was thick with fury.

"Calm down, Nancy. I'm sure it'll be over right after our game against Slytherin," Steve said calmly.

"How many times will he be striking until then? If it was me in your place, would you be saying the same thing?" Jonathan said frowning at him.

"First of all, striking? He's not a literal snake, Jon. Second, I'd offer him up to the giant squid for dinner if he so much as thinks of you," Steve replied, blushing.

"Then, it's settled. We are getting back at that fucking creep," Nancy stated with a gleam in her eyes.

"Only because there's no use dissuading at this point, Nance. Fine. But I'm not taking part of it. Also, on one condition," Steve warned.

"I think that would make it two conditions but alright. Name it," Jon said.

"None of the kids get involved," Steve said firmly.

"What about those who actively offer their services?" Nancy asked with a pout.

"No exceptions," Steve said, wagging his fingers.

"You are no fun at all," Nancy said with a sigh. Jon chuckled in agreement.


"No offense to Max and Lucas, but I propose that our party help Steve out," Dustin said in a matter of fact tone while the group of friends were lining up pots at the greenhouse.

Mike had begged them to help out because it was that time of the year for mandrake re-potting and he was the unofficial student assistant to the Herbology professor. He still dreamed of being a neurologist and was sure that mastery of the subject would help his practice greatly.

"I don't know about Lucas but I'm game for it," Max said casually. Billy had been particularly mean to the girl since he received a howler from home.

"El, do you think that we have a chance of winning the match this weekend without the fucking team captain?" Lucas turned to his fellow Serpent.

"Damn shame he's an asshole. Nearly as good as me at beating the bludgers too," the girl muttered. El loved winning at Quidditch but not nearly as much as she loved her friends.

"Well, I guess that answers that. I don't mind losing to Hufflepuff that much. It's a good thing that Tommy is driving the Gryffindor team to ruin," Lucas jokingly taunted Max with that last part.

"Say what you will but I'm still the best damn seeker in this school," she replied in good nature. The two had dated a while back but eventually agreed that they were better off as friends.

"Don't you think Nancy and Jonathan already have a crazy Ravenclaw plan in the works?" Mike rolled his eyes.

"Oh I'm betting on it but what's the use of letting them have all the fun?" Dustin replied with a Cheshire grin.

"Ravenclaw and boredom. The worst combination," Lucas said, shaking his head.

"There is nothing too crazy for a good friend," Dustin said, acting affronted.

"Except maybe bodily harm," Will reminded.

"That's super vague. Is it good enough if I promise that pain will not be involved?," Dustin addressed the latter question to Max with a toothy grin.

"Just don't expect El to save our asses if we get expelled for your stupid plan," Mike said.

The rest of the group chuckled at his statement, El included. A few weeks ago, Max convinced El to charm Troy's underwear into small birds as payback for his constant bullying. The Gryffindor's pureblood father stomped into Hogwarts demanding punishment for the unnamed culprit. Headmaster Hopper didn't allow for the man to make a big deal out of it but his daughter has been under close surveillance ever since.

"I'm serious! El's already in hot water with the Headmaster," Mike exclaimed.

"Yeah. Yeah. We know, loverboy, " Max said with a pat on his back. "Let's just not get Billy suspended either. He may be an asshole but he's a saint compared to my stepdad," she then muttered to no one in particular with hooded eyes.


"Aw. Come on! Can't I have an easier riddle? Or I could tell you a really cool science fact. That way we both got something out of it," Dustin begged the haughty eagle knocker.

Luckily for him, Nancy was headed to the Ravenclaw common room as well. She greeted him and received a rueful smile in return.

"How long have you been standing here?" she asked.

"Long enough. I'm shit at riddles. It isn't as if it's the most accurate way to test cleverness," he huffed.

"Agreed. I'm not very good at guessing either. I always come up here with Jon 'cause he's a riddle savant. Maybe we'll make a good team, Dustin. Alright, eagle knocker. I'm all ears," Nancy faced the eagle with the now hopeful boy at her side.

I drive men mad

For love of me,

Easily beaten,

Never free.

"My answer was knowledge," Dustin said.

"Does all knowledge have a price? Plus what about the beaten part?" she asked.

"Yeah. Learning takes attention. And new knowledge can disprove factual things"

"Good point. Okay. Well, is the answer power?"

"Try again," the eagle replied.

"But power always has a price and if it's built on shaky foundations then it could easily be taken away!"

"But that isn't the answer to the old riddle," the eagle said.

"But it could be!," Dustin exclaimed.

"How about you tell us the answer you're looking for. We provided you with reasonably good ones. I think we earned the right to decide whether or not your answer is as good as ours," Nancy demanded.

"Fine. The answer to the riddle is gold," it answered

"Okay yeah that makes sense. Smart use of beaten. But hardly all men go crazy for gold or even gold medals," skepticism was clear in Dustin's voice.

"What Dustin means is that you have to consider our answers."

"You have both argued brilliantly," the knocker then conceeded and in they went.

The Ravenclaw common room was a charming and wonderful place. With the high ceilings painted with constellations and bookshelves for walls, it was any curious cat's dream. The chairs, ornate and stylish but comfortable, were rumored to have been handpicked by Rowena herself. The witch who owned a famed diadem was definitely a woman of great taste. Going beyond the banning of bigotry, Muggle knowledge was embraced here. Among books about magic were those on things like history, gender and sex, and mathematics. It would be very foolish for wizards and witches to be stay unaware of the truths outside the wizarding world after all.

The northwest side of the circular room functioned as a bit of a student black market. Here Ravenclaws traded things like information (faculty gossip, sketchy spell combinations, NEVER test answers), Muggle items (pens, zines, concert tickets), and student products (charmed sweets, moving fanart, strange custom works).

The northeast side had a bookshelf that was dubbed The Great Wall. It was filled with differently sized volumes from archaic looking tomes to small moleskins. Generations of Ravenclaws have filled pages of these books with things they wished to be passed down. Of course there are one or two burn books filled with names of people from other houses (it couldn't be helped).

Nancy and Dustin approached the wall at the same time. The two had matching mischievious grins on.

"What are you going to look for on the Wall? Reading ghost stories again?" Nancy asked, jokingly.

"No. I've already had my fill for the week. I had the displeasure of meeting Moaning Myrtle last Monday, " Dustin replied, shuddering at the memory.

"Yikes. She was infatuated with Steve when we were third years. One time, she splashed me with toilet water out of jealousy," she confided.

"If you're trying to comfort me, it isn't working. Your misfortunes will never give me joy," he said in a mock solemn tone followed by a grateful smile.

"Okay. But speaking of Steve, I don't suppose you're here because of what happened earlier. Are you?" she asked.

"Steve looks out for us. Of course we should return the favor," he replied.

"Yeah. But I know that out of all the kids, you'd go the extra mile for him. Which is nice," she admitted.

"I hope I'm not overstepping but I'm glad you three sorted out your relationship. He deserves to be happy." he said cautiously.

"Yeah. Thanks for looking out for him when I wasn't," she whispered before ruffling his hair. "Now back to the task at hand. Steve specifically asked Jon and I not to involve you guys in our little scheme."

"I figured. We can go on separate missions but help each other in planning them out."

"Sounds good. I was thinking of checking the prank books for inspiration. But maybe you already have something in your mind?"

"Yes but I want to make sure it hasn't been done yet so I was gonna browse through those too. But I'll tell you if I find anything you could use."

"Okay. I'll start with the Weasleys' while you check the Marauders'."


They were being extra nice to Steve. At first he thought that El and Lucas gave him some slack with the good natured pregame insults and chatted him up on his favorite professional Quidditch matches because they felt guilty about their team captain. He also thought Max was invited him to all her hovering board stunt practices while wearing safety gear for once because she didn't want him to feel alone in facing her brother. He even thought that Will asked him to pose for one of his paintings to make him feel better. Only now did he realize that maybe they were trying to keep him out of Billy's way and keep him from noticing that he hasn't seen Dustin in a while. There was no other explanation as to why he was alone with the little Wheeler at the moment.

"So uh Nancy said that your Mom worked at St. Mungo's," Mike was saying. They were out in the Forbidden Forest to look for Dittany. It seems that Mike was also doing favors for the Infirmary now. It was probably restocking for the upcoming Quidditch matches.

"Yeah. Only been there a couple of times though. Mom hates when family visit her at work. Why'd you ask? You thinking about working there?," Steve replied.

"Not exactly. I was thinking about working at public hospitals outside the wizarding world."

"That's cool. But don't you need to pass Muggle medicine studies for that?"

"I don't think I'm too far behind. I study on my spare time. I just wish we had wifi here so I could take online courses. It'd be a lot easier for me."

"If I become Headmaster, I'll be sure to do that. I can't even imagine what purebloods like me have been missing out on. Spotify, Netflix, and Youtube sound like a dream."

"I'd be the first to admit that doing that would reveal magical society in over a minute but still...you'd probably do a great job at it with student interests as your top priority."

"Thanks? Anyway, can I ask you a question?"

"You're already asking one."

"Right. So are you kids hanging out with me to distract me from something or am I crazy for assuming that?" He felt a little guilty for asking it. If he turned out wrong, he sounded like an ungrateful jerk. Lucky for him his hunches were often right.

"Yeah. I did tell them that you'd be suspicious if I asked you to do this with me alone but nobody else was free this time so here we are."

"It isn't so bad is it?"

"What is?"

"This. Spending time with me."

"I guess not."

Just then Mike spotted the plant they were looking for. They laughed a bit when they got their hands dirty because Mike forgot to bring gloves with them. After that, they spent the walk back to the castle in companionable silence.


On his way to the Prefects' bathroom on a Friday morning, Steve came face to face with the boy he'd been avoiding for a week. Without the kids and his best friends by his side, he was feeling a bit afraid.

"Well. Well. Well. Just the guy I wanted to see," Billy said, his hair still dripping a bit.

"Don't get too excited. I'd pull you in for a hug but see, I haven't taken my bath yet so if you'll excuse me," Steve attempted to sidestep the other boy but got pulled back.

"I'm not done talking to you, Harrington!," Billy snarled. He grabbed hold of Steve's arm and pinned him face first to the wall. Steve had dropped his clothes on the ground and struggled but Billy was stronger. "You're going to eat dirt tomorrow after I make sure that you fucking drop off your broom. Maybe if we roughed you up a bit, you'd realize that I'm the real pretty boy around here. King Stevie ain't shit."

"What do you have against me anyway, man. I'm not trying to pick a fight with you. Merlin's sake," Steve mumbled out while the rough wall was digging in his cheek.

"All Harringtons are pricks."

"What the hell does that even mean?"

Billy then hauls Steve and turns him around so that they were eye to eye. He's giving a murderous unsteady look and starts shaking Steve with his hands gripping the front of the poor confused boy's shirt.

"It means-" Billy is cut short as he takes a sharp intake of breath. He staggers back and gives a yelp of surprise. Slowly his skin started changing color, tanned skin turning into an unflattering green. "What the fuck did you do, Harrington?!"

"I didn't do anything. It wasn't me," Steve replied in equal horror.

The Slytherin prefect was morphing into something big and kinda nasty. Billy's nose was starting to grow. His ears turned into an odd trumpetlike shape. His stomach started to bulge. His legs turned slightly thinner, sort of disproportionate to his upper body. He screamed as he watched his body turn and Steve heard that his voice changed as well. The full transformation was like something out of a movie. Literally.

"I'm going to fucking kill you for turning me into a hideous monster," the hulking creature who was Billy said.

"I swear on my great aunt Marjorie's grave. I didn't take part on any of this. I mean come on, you had me backed up on the wall a moment ago. But uhm I think I know what you turned into," Steve mumbled in fright of the other boy's reaction to what he was about to say.

"I'm going to strangle you with my bare hands," he replied with a funny sounding voice that contrasted with his big frame.

"Shrek. You turned into Shrek," Steve blurted. The situation really would have been hilarious but it appears that having your tormentor turn into a cartoon ogre wasn't ideal when he's got you trapped in a corner.

"You made that name up. Wrong move,

Just as Shrek Billy was about to pummel Steve into smithereens, Barb Holland entered the corridor. She gave a scream and raised her wand, ready to cast a spell on the ogre that has his back on her.

"Wait! Barb, don't!" Steve shouted.

"What do you mean, don't? Steve, that ogre is going to attack whether you're a Hufflepuff pacifist or not," she said, incredulously.

"But he's not really an ogre. He's Billy. Billy Hargrove," he revealed.

Shrek Billy turned and faced the girl. Barb, a halfblood, nearly fell down with laughter after recognizing the face he wore.

"Ohmygod. This is priceless. Wait 'til everybody sees this. They are going to flip," she said and followed this with another round of laughter.

"What's so fucking funny, Holland?" there was no denying the fury that was laced on every word that Shrek Billy uttered in his comical voice.

"Come on, Billy. Why don't we head to the infirmary and see what Madam Pomfrey can do. I'm pretty sure that isn't Steve's fault anyway," she said with a massive eye roll.

With one last sneer at Steve, Billy let himself be led away. Steve then took a quicker bath than usual and skipped three of his nine step skincare routine just to catch his best friends before breakfast.


Breakfast was pure chaos. By then, everyone had heard about the Shrek Billy prank. Halfbloods and Muggleborns were clutching their sides over fits of laughter. Purebloods laughed along but didn't really understand why turning a bully into an ogre was supposed to be funny. Someone had taken a picture of Billy before he went into the infirmary and had made an effort to produce leaflets with his face beside that of real Shrek turning into human Shrek for comparison.

A potions expert at the Gryffindor table was telling everyone how Madam Pomfrey won't be able to fix the boy and that he'd just have to endure it for the short while that it'll last. Another student was reputing her claim and said that she was wrong in assuming that it was polyjuice potion because Shrek wasn't a real creature. A mad debate ensued all round as people guessed at how the deed was done.

Lunchtime was a different matter altogether. By then, Billy had turned back to his regular self. Nobody dared to hoot in laughter though. He was stabbing his bratwursts with conviction. The Slytherins even sat at a distance from the angry boy.

It came as a bit off shock to everyone when, as if in absolute defiance, Billy's hair started to grown into a horrific mullet right before their eyes. They all kept a straight face, afraid to be in his vicinity when he finally notices. Just before lunch mercifully ended, Headmaster Hopper announced from his seat that Billy Hargrove and Steve Harrington were to meet him in his office.


It was the portrait of ex-Headmaster Phyllida Spore that gave it away.

"Now that is a student with a good head of hair," she said.

"Thank you, Ma'am," Steve said as he was used to this compliment.

"It wasn't for you, boy. It was for him," she said, pointing a finger at Billy.

Billy's hand shot to his ginger locks and only then did he realize that he was sporting one of the most unflattering haircuts of all time.

"You're dead, Harrington!" Billy screamed as he was about to lunge at the other boy.

"Hey! Stop that. Nobody is killing anybody," boomed the headmaster.

"Over that disgraceful haircut? I daresay it should be permitted," spoke the portrait of Walter Aragon.

"My term, my rules, Walt," Hopper said, motioning for the rest of the portraits to be silent.

"Then what do you suppose should be the appropriate punishment for what has been done to me, Professor?" Billy asked with gritted teeth.

"Professor, I swear I didn't have anything to do with it. However, I think it would be fair that we also take into account Billy's past actions if you plan to be firm on the subject of retribution," Steve said.

"Okay you boys have to stop talking, you're giving me a damn headache. Look. I don't care about who started this whole thing going on. But I'm pissed that two House prefects are in the middle of what looks to me like acts of bullying. You should know better than this. I don't give a shit if you think they're just harmless pranks. I'm not here to punish but to make examples out of you boys so that's a month of detention for both of you. Tell Callahan I sent for you. I want you knocking on his door at 5pm sharp."

"What?! That's not fair!" Billy exclaimed.

"It really isn't, Professor," Steve added.

"Well, if it's going to take turning me into a shared nemesis to get you boys to get along with each other then so be it. Now, scram or I'll add another week's worth of detention."

The boys didn't need to be told twice. They left, hurrying to their respective classes.


Steve was surrounded by his friends in the common room. Since he was technically in charge and the rest of the Hufflepuffs felt sympathy for him, no one really complained about all the kids from other Houses being there. Nancy and Jonathan were on either side of him on one of the couches. El and Max were sharing a loveseat that they dragged to face it. The boys were all sitting on the floor, squished together in between.

"I'm really sorry we got you into trouble," Nancy's big eyes looked every bit like a sad puppy's.

"Yeah. Tough luck, man. We really thought we were doing you some good," Dustin said apologetically.

"I'm grateful actually. Maybe Billy and I could get along after this whole thing. Though, I specifically asked for you kids not to get yourselves into this mess," Steve added the last bit reprovingly.

"Actually, you asked us not to involve them in our payback. With two separate pranks, we technically honored your request," Jon reminded him cheekily.

"Okay. I admit that is true. But no more pranks. The cycle of bullying ends here," the boy replied.

"You really think he's gonna stop being an asshole now?" Max asked.

"Can't be sure about that but I think I'm starting to figure him out. Nobody is born bad," was Steve's answer. He remembered what the other boy said. All Harringtons are pricks. Maybe one day he'll find out the real meaning behind those words. But until then, he'll have to convince Billy that they're not rivals off the Quidditch pitch.


End Notes:

Steve and Troy aren't siblings here just fyi.

As you can see, I hate bullying. As a proud representative to Slytherin, I would also like to remind y'all that it isn't a House of bullies.

Comment if you want a spotlight on a particular character for the next installment. :)