She has nightmares.

Not the murky shadow-filled blur of confusion and a bad feeling, a sour taste to wake up to, a sleep-addled hangover.

She has nightmares.

Her bones creak and crack under her as she half-crawls, half-limps, down the whispering smoke-red halls, as her mouth fills with blood and it spills through her gasping mouth to choke the words on her breath.

Shepard.

Is that her own voice? A wraith? Anderson?

Kaidan.

His eyes are blue, not brown, the viscous sickening electric blue of a monster. His mouth is full of cables.

Kaidan lurches toward her, fast, too fast.

She turns, bone on bone grinding in her ankle, one hand still pressed to her ribs, fingers clutching her intestines. She screams but nothing comes out. The wraiths cling to her, claw at her, pull her away – she runs, down the red red hall.

Shepard.

She reaches the door and Balak opens it for her, his skull split, his eyes as brilliant blue as Kaidan's.

Shepard.

Balak pulls the door aside and she falls, falls down into empty space, into nothingness, the blood sucked from her lungs and nothing taking its place. She falls, and Kaidan falls behind her, his hands still hunting her.

She falls, and below her the earth burns. Reapers tear its skin apart, burning, scorching, hating.

Shepard falls.

When she wakes, for a moment she thinks she is back in that tiny little apartment, she thinks she is lying on the mattress reminding herself to breathe while Vega and Cortez work out and fix things and make tasteless protein mush for dinner.

When she wakes, she stares blankly and counts down, down. She counts, endless numbers, out of order – what is left of order in this broken universe to rely on, anyway – and gradually the shimmering biotic blue surrounding her burns away.

Her breath eases down, her heart rate still thudding.

Across the room she can feel Kaidan, pressed against the far wall, one hand on the door latch. She can feel him watching, but not watching, as she gradually regains control.

She wonders what it would take for him to call Liara for backup, to pin Shepard down and mute her biotics through sheer force.

The last time that happened, Liara's wrist was broken and the bruises Kaiden suffered now give her fresh nightmares.

A final hiss of pale blue biotics, and the shadows creep back into their room. She hears Kaidan breathe out, but he doesn't leave the door.

"Shepard?"

She swallows, and realises she is cold, deathly cold. Her body is soaked in sweat.

"Yes."

"Are you here?"

For a moment all she sees is a small, flickering vision of a vengeful monster-child. She hears Kaidan move, shifting across the room. His body warmth is enough to change the air in the room as he takes a cautious step closer.

Shepard blinks away the last image of a blue-eyed, tech-consumed Kaidan clawing her throat out and says, quietly, "Yes."