Hello, friends. This story is probably going to suck, but after reading a lot of Kigo, I've decided to make a fanfic of my own.
None of this is mine. I don't own Kim Possible, and the story is loosely based on Veronika Decides to Die, because I'm an unoriginal bastard.
Shego, the comet powered, world famous thief extraordinaire, opened the container of pills she took from the pharmacy she robbed earlier that day.
"Well, this is it", she thought as she swallowed her poison.
Finally, it's all going to be over. No more Dr. D, no more stealing, no more annoying brothers, and most importantly, no more being so lonely and unwanted. After the comet incident, it seemed like the green woman's friends just dropped her and pretended she didn't exist. Nowadays, the closest thing to a friend she's got was a certain incompetent blue dumbass that knew nothing about her.
The thief had tried numerous times to make friends with the henchmen, the Seniors, and even Monkey Fist (though he was disgusting and hairy). But whenever it seemed like she made a friend, they never really wanted to be her friend just for the hell of it, they always wanted something else like money, not getting killed or help in stealing something. All that the sad girl knew was that her life sucked, there was no way to fix it, and that every second of her life felt like torture.
And now, she is finally ending it, Hallelujah! But the huge overdose is taking some time, it must be those comet powers she thought. Now she was faced with what to do with the little time she had left, and frankly, she was really really bored. So she did what she normally did in her spare time, she took out a nail-file. It wasn't actually a practical activity because she never really filed her nails, only her gloves. It had no effect on anything, but she did it anyway to pass the time while Dr Drakken was ranting on about his latest plans.
"AGH! I'm still bored!" Shego cried out in frustration, so she decided to do something that actually had meaning. Namely, crank calls.
The suicidal thief picked up the phone and dialed the suicide hotline.
"Suicide hotline, how may I help you?", the man on the other line said.
"Yeah, I'm really bored and could use some entertainment", the green caller said.
"Ma'am, this is a suicide hotline, which means we help the suicidal, and we're not here for your amusement", the worker replied.
"But I AM killing myself!", she whined
"What? What do you mean you're killing yourself?", the reply was.
"I mean exactly what I said. I took a shitload of pills, and I'm gonna die, and it's taking kinda long, and now I am bored to tears! So like tell me a joke or something!", Shego replied with that world famous smirk on her face.
"Uhm, okay, what is your address?", the panicked suicide counsellor said
"What kind of joke is that?! It's not even ffuuuuughh...", the suicide victim said as she fell to the ground.
Her world slowly grew darker, her breaths became shallow and slow, and an overwhelming sense of peace overcame her.
Goodbye motherfuckers was all she could think of before she finally passed out.
