Chapter 1: The Reign of Stannis and Gender Inequality in Medieval Times
Many years have passed since the vikings went to war. Through many trials and tribulations, Stannis Baratheon has finally become King of France and driven the perfidious English from the continent. Through His glorious will, King Stannis the Stampedier imposed his power also over the Burgundians and burned down all of the vikings' homelands so that they may never again lay siege to his own. Stannis had three daughters: Elyzybyth, Lyana, and Myrya. I am Myrya. And this is my story.
My life has been hard. The lyfes of all women are hard in medyeval times. (Auteur's note: the 'i's in those words were replaced with 'y's because GRRM loves to do that to character's names to make them sound more fanciful. Obviously, if you are a big enough fan to be reading fanfiction, then you must be accustomed to this sort of behavior, so I have decided to replicate it here to make you all feel more at home.) But the medieval times are over and we have the enlightenment of the Renaissance to rejuvenate us against past injustice to finally achieve Equality. We do not have obligations to our pasts. The Talmud tells us so.
My maid Julia came in to my room as I awoke. She had brought me a plate of heaping sweet rolls. I ate all seven sweet rolls, dedicating each to one of the 7 gods, but also to the past dead who helped save us today. I dedicated one to Jon Snow, who died in battle against Stannis. I dedicated one to Sansa, who was murdered by Ilyn Payne. I dedicated one to the woman Queen of the English because I admired her equality. I dedicated one to the vikings because I felt sorrow for what Stannis did to them. I dedicated one to Julia, for she gave me the sweet rolls. I dedicated one to Stannis for taking over France and kicking out the English. I dedicated the last one to myself for pulling through tough times.
Today was the day. Father had called me and my sisters to Versailles in order to lecture us on our roles to the French monarchy. Since I was a morally righteous and highly intelligent and emotionally strong girl, father saw me as the most useful of us siblings. He sent me to learn royal sowing at westminster abbey. Elyzybyth wasn't looked highly upon by father or anyone because she was mentally retarded although with a high mental-emotional IQ. He forced her to become a nun at Sweden. Lyana was sent as a sign of friendship to the Spanish King Chales II to be his sexy maid.
