Sun Tzu and Sundaes
By
Thevalravn
Disclaimer: I don't own or claim to own "Glee", Fox, or any of the associated properties/characters that appear in this story. This story is for entertainment purposes only. References to The Art of War by Sun Tzu are taken from the wikisource page. Parts of this story are set around "Preggers" (Season 1, Episode 4 of Glee.) General spoilers apply. This story contains a homosexual character, over simplification of certain Buddhist practices, offensive language, and references to bullying. If any of those ideas is offensive to you, I recommend you stop reading now. Without any further ado I give you…
He had been nine years old when he had gotten the book. For his birthday, his father had taken Kurt to the malt shop which had been a favored gathering place of the Hummel family while his mother had been alive. They hadn't been since she had died and re-entering it felt like he was breaking some sort of promise. In his shoes, Kurt felt his toes curling and uncurling. However they sat down and ordered, Kurt insisting on a strawberry sundae while his dad got a peanut butter milkshake. After the waitress left, Burt handed the package to his son. It was clear that the wrapping was done by someone who knew what they were doing, so it hadn't been Burt. Despite himself, Kurt lifted the package to his ear and tried to shake to gauge what it might be hiding. Burt grinned as his son fastidiously undid the amethyst ribbon and brilliant sapphire wrapping paper. He was always so neat, even when being shown around in the garage.
Kurt looked down at the book, The Art of War, and then at his father. While Kurt was indeed a self-described bookworm, having devoured all of The Chronicles of Narnia as well as every Harry Potter book he could get his hands on, this book wasn't like those ones. It was different somehow, much thinner and didn't seem like a book that would have much of a story. His father's expression had become rather serious as he locked eyes with his son. Their waitress came back, leaving their orders and privately thinking about just how similar their eyes were. "Listen Kurt, I know that it's not what you were expecting, but it's something I think you should read. I read it when I was in high school, and I know you're young but it's got some of the best advice about how to deal with tough situations," Burt explained slowly. Kurt nodded gently in response and slid the book off the table and next to him in the booth. He proceeded to go at the ice cream sundae with as much gusto as a meticulously neat nine year old could. Burt laughed when his son got a dollop of whipped cream on his nose.
When they got back home, Kurt retreated to the basement room and read over the book his father gave him. It took much longer than he expected and he had to stop at one point to go upstairs and grab the heaviest dictionary off of the shelf. He couldn't say he understood what the book was saying, but if his dad felt it was important, than it probably had to be. No matter how many times he studied over the lines, he didn't come any closer to seeing any of the advice that his father had spoken about. If anything, all the sayings seemed like riddles omitted from The Hobbit. In a way, the seeming nonsense phrases reminded him of a field trip to Columbus to see a group of monks demonstrate sand painting. The teacher had explained that these monks would also ask questions which made no sense and when the answer was truly understood than the person had become 'enlightened' whatever that meant. He decided to look that word up in the dictionary and leave The Art of War for another night.
As he moved through the various phases of elementary and middle school, the teasing which had begun on the playground for his high voice and his carefully kept wardrobe grew ever worse. One day is seventh grade, Robby Sanders pushed him when he's getting a drink from the water fountain. Kurt came home from school spotting a small bump on his head and he can't keep himself from whimpering. For the first time in a while, he pulled The Art of War off of a shelf and turned almost frantically through the pages, willing the book to tell him anything, something that will help him deal with everything that's going on around him. Much to Kurt's surprise, the passage he finally rests on gave the best possible advice in the situation: "All warfare is based on deception." In that moment, Kurt understood it to mean that no matter what his bullies were doing, they were doing it to fool either themselves or someone else. They were trying to deceive someone, and it didn't matter who.
That was the beginning of how he his thoughts began to change. For every time he was pushed, every time he had something thrown in his face, every time he was given the cold shoulder by the boys in his class who didn't want to be seen hanging around the school fag, and for any snide comment he heard about him, Kurt would can the pages of his well-worn copy of The Art of War. While not all the solutions to life's problems were within the thin volume, it gave him guidance and a new way to see the world. He soon began trying to understand what people were doing and why they were doing it. Each day before school, he made as many plans as he could think of and began to bring back up clothing and copies of his homework. He didn't want to be like the general who had made few calculations and lost the battle. Also, as the hallways of high school were open ground, he knew he always had to be on his toes.
The dancing it seemed, paid off, and he was indeed a good kicker. When standing before the assembled football team in his sophomore year, Kurt couldn't but reference the most influential book he had ever read. Of course, the looks of complete puzzlement on most of their faces was expected. With a few exceptions, the entire damned football team didn't have two brain cells to rub together. He'd be shocked if any of them knew where Sun Tzu came from or why he had written it. Why would they know? In the pause where everyone was looking at him, Kurt had to think quickly and try to put it as simply as he put. Despite his limited interest in the sport, Kurt would have thought the last thing any football team would want would be for the opposing team to be able to read the moves that were coming. He prevented himself from rolling his eyes or sighing too dramatically. That was something he was proud of, at least in some small measure.
After the game, when he was performing his nighttime skin care regimen and his father walked in, he remembered a different passage from The Art of War and found himself standing tall and talking as a man would. While he credited football and the glee club, he knew that both he and his father were thinking of The Art of War. When his father took Kurt into his arms and gave him a strong hug, Kurt wondered for the first time if The Art of War was his father's way of preparing him for what was at times a rather harsh world. It didn't matter if it was though. All that mattered was that his father loved him, and one day when he was Mr. Kurt Hudson, he would pass The Art of War to his son to prepare him for a world that might not be ready to see a same sex couple happily raising children.
