I am Alice. Leader of this band of prisoners and I don't really care about it either. With me is Ray the Eldarin, though I usually group him and Unknown Entity as elves (much to his dismay).

Speaking of Unknown Entity, even though we are of different races, she and I are pretty much like twin sisters. There are others with us, but they come in later. The story I am about to tell right now takes place pretty much after we first met each other, and believe it or not, we all met in jail.

So anyway, I'm alone in this cell, with two others in the cells next to mine. The guard, as you can guess, is just reading a script or something. He seems to be almost nodding off. The dog beside him is still alert; there must be something about to happen.

All of a sudden, we feel a rumbling, as if someone is attacking this castle. The guard falls to the ground at the sudden shock and drops his key ring. Seeing this, the dog picked them up just as an even bigger rumble shakes the ground, letting loose the stone blocks above the guard. Needless to say, the guard was crushed under the weight.

The dog still had the keys in its mouth. It started walking towards Entity's cell, where she tried to quickly grab the keys from the dog. The dog, feeling threatened, moved away from her. Now it was my chance, I started calling the dog over to me in a voice that wasn't like myself…very "sweet." Anyway, I was able to coax the dog over to me and grab the keys. Again, the damn dog yelped and started running away. It didn't really get too far as another part of the ceiling collapsed and crushed it.

I unlocked my cell and proceeded to unlock Entity's cell. I lift up my hand and say "Name's Alice." Entity, taken aback slightly, grasps my hand "Unknown Entity, you can call me Entity for short." Over in the other cell, was another person. A male elf.

"You mind getting this door?" The elf asked us impatiently. I threw him the keys so he can get himself out. "Oh, so you get her out but you only throw me the keys? Damn bitch."

"Listen buddy, the only reason I didn't get you out was because you're too far away for me to walk over." I said coldly.

"So what? Lazy and a bitch? Great combination." Just as he finished talking, another guard came into the room from the door.

"You there, stop what you're doing." The guard pointed to the elf. In the next second, the guard's helmet crumpled under a morning star. We could do nothing but look at the sight of the guard falling lifelessly.

"You three, follow me! Now!" The dwarf yelled at us. The elf had finished unlocking his cell and started to follow him. Entity and I looked at each other and followed as well. We were able to catch up to the elf as he was walking slowly up the stairs.

"What's your name?" Entity asked the eldarin.

"I am Ray." He finally noticed that he wasn't the only elf like being. "Sorry I called you a bitch." Suck up. After heading up a few flights of stairs we find ourselves in the Great Hall (not to be confused with a certain magical school). In it are dead Elvish guards and very much alive Dwarf guards. We are brought to the head honcho, the big cheese, the man, king of all, whatever you want to call him. He was wearing a big set of armour, with a set of weapons fit for a king. His two guards stood beside him wearing identical armour to each other. The dwarf that had led us went up to the king and whispered something to him, my guess would be something like this; "These three were found in the dungeons, what shall we do with them sire?"

The king strode toward us and asked us, "Who are you? And what are your crimes?" He did sound like a king, and he had authority in his voice, unlike a certain elf I know.

As no one else was saying anything, I decided to speak up. "I killed a high ranking official."

The king's face changed from stony to slightly angry. "What race?"

"Human." I lied through my teeth. Truth was, I was to kill a dwarf king, but I got the wrong target…though I wasn't about to let him know that.

He moved on to Entity, "And you?"

"I stole from a king." In a split second, the king had hit her leg with something and everyone in the room heard a snap. "Not from you!" Entity was on the ground writhing in agony.

"My bad, you there." he pointed to one of his guards "Heal her." The guard went over to Entity and mended her broken leg.

"You b-"

The king looked back at her menacingly, "If you want to keep your life, you better not finish that sentence."

What colour there was left in Entity's face drained. It was enough to put a smirk on my face, if I didn't want to end up like her; I better not burst out laughing. The Dwarf then moved on to our Eldarin friend. "What have you done?"

"I stole from a dwarven peasants carriage." This was followed by a swift kick to Ray's gut. That looked like it hurt; yeah I don't think I'll be angering this little dwarf anytime soon. It was still quite hard not to laugh.

"Cuff them and bring them to the carriage." The king ordered. He started to walk away, and his guards cuffed all of us and started dragging us along.

"Ooh, kinky." I heard Entity say, though I couldn't really tell if she were being sarcastic or not.

xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx

Well, this was a thing. This story is pretty much a retelling of a DnD campaign my friends and I did. It was fun (if also a bit vulgar at times, as you guys can see). I might continue this, but as I said, I do have pretty bad writer's block. The only reason I'm releasing this is because it was already written, I wrote quite a while ago, and just forgot about it. So, enjoy? Leave a comment and possibly fav?

xxx xxx xxx xxx xxx

Alice: It seems that we've finally been let out.

U.E.: Yup, it's almost like it's been year.

That's because it has been a year. I just forgot about you guys what with school and work before that.

Ray: You're a dick.

Seeing as you and Entity are pretty much representations of my friends in this universe, you guys are dicks too.

Alice: Until next time.