DISCLAIMER: I own none of the characters, this pure fun and non-profitable. XD
EM POV
I walked into the dining room to see Bella staring intently into the wall length mirror, her immortal honey gold eyes darting back and forth, a dumbstruck look on her face.
"Hey little sis, what's so interesting?" I stood next to her and stared at the mirror too.
God, I'm sexy. I flexed my muscles a little and winked at my reflection. "Hey! You look drunk! How did you do it?!"
I nudged her, for me this answer is the equivalent to a human's desire to know the meaning of life. It's fourty-two by the way. "snoggle tab roller cat." Bella stated simply, silently twitching as if she was being shocked, still not taking her eyes off the mirror.
Oh. That makes sense. Wait, no it doesn't!
"EDDDIIEEEE!" I screamed at the top of my vampire lungs, I'm sure everyone in Forks could hear me and probably in the next continent too. Score!
Edward burst through the front door, wearing a cape and on his back was Nessie who appeared to be enjoying an icicle, drooling a blue substance down his neck. Eddie looked uncomfortable.
"What have I told you about calling me EDDIE!" He whined, putting little Nessie down.
"What's wrong Emmet? – We were about to go to Candy Mountain, right Nessie?" He patted her head affectionately then returned to pouting at me. God, no wonder his wife is wasted.
"CHWARRRLIEE!" Nessie squealed getting impatient and throwing her icicle at vampire strength, it hit the mirror which shattered on impact.
"Whoaahhh…"
We all turned to see Bella staring at the shards of glass on the floor. This caught Edward's attention, finally.
"Are you okay, love?" Edward ran to Bella and nudged her, looking worried now.
Bella turned, delighted to see Edward and licked his nose, giggling she fell to the ground and rolled around in the glass.
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAR!" Nessie screamed as she tackled the still giggling Bella. Whoah. Bella is really out of it.
This is a great time to mention that I ate her entire collection of books to see what would happen ... Edward turned to me, looking concerned for my sanity.
Oops, forgot he could hear my thoughts. Stupid shiny Volvo owner. He's like so gay. I wonder!! I looked down at Edward's clothes, Italian shoes, a cravat.
"LE GASP!" Edward just stared at me with a whiny pout on his face and one well groomed eye brow arched skeptically.
"I'm not gay, Emmett." Sure and white doesn't stick on rice. I wonder where Rose is.. my thoughts strayed.
"Really? Ugh. Now Emmett? Seriously. Ugh." He flinched. Ignoring him, I picked up a stick that just happened to be lying around and began poking the now passed out Bella Cullen. No idea how that happened.
Might as well have some fun while she's not conscious. I love sparkling, it's a shame it's a cloudy day, we're not sparkling…
LIGHT BULB! I ran and got a bucket of glitter before Edward could even react to my thoughts and grabbed some glue –
I stood in front of him as he edged to see what was in my hands while I blocked my thoughts with intimate pictures of Bruno – hahahah! I saw that movie a couple of days ago. Hilarious.
Although no one really had the same reaction as I did. Bella's was the funniest.
Nessie had stayed with Charlie as Edward didn't trust Jacob around her still, he still got the strange glint in his eye.
I mean, who imprints on a baby? I can't wait until Bella and Edward explain to the little loch ness monster, Jake's history with Bella. I vowed to tape it and show it at her 21st. She'll be 21 forever! I can just replay it each year.
Wait is that evil?? I shifted through my thoughts, contemplating this. No.. it's a family's job to embarass.
Why should Ness miss out?
My determination faltered when I realized Edward was listening to my thoughts. Crap.
His eyes got dangerous and he started counting. "1....""EDWARD NOOOOO PLEASE!" He looked scary and he cheats in a fight.
I used then, my secret weapon I had been saving up against Edward. Biding my time. Haha. "2..."
And then, he lunged at me.
In the same second, I thought as hard as I could. Edward crumpled to the floor in terror. "Noooooooo."
EM POV
I began the countdown, threatening Emmett as I listened to his ridiculous thoughts. Esme will be pissed I'm about to ruin her table but I can't help it and the mirror is already ruined. I lunged at Emmett just before I reached three.
He reacted in a way I didn't think he had in him. No.. he wouldn't! He's not that cruel! I underestimated him.
"WHASSUP?! I'm Bruno!The most disturbing movie I had ever seen in over 100 years although we hadn't gotten pay TV until recently. I whimpered as I was caught up in his flashback which overtook all his thoughts, he was smug.
FLASHBACK!
Bella screamed, cringing into me as a really detailed film of Bruno's genitals were shown on big screen.
I looked over at the rest of my family and read their thoughts.
Esme: Wow..
Rosalie: My teddy bear is way manlier than him. Still…
Alice: He has the cutest accessories! I wish Edward had been like that when we all suspected he was gay… I still kinda do!
Alice's eyes darted to me then back to the screen.
Emmett: Wow...
Carlisle: Limp!Limp!Limp!Limp!!!
Jasper: Holy…
END OF FLASHBACK!
I blinked as I pulled myself out of the disturbing thoughts this fool had sent me.
I turned to Bella when I realized she was now unmoving and covered in glitter that had dried in big uneven globs of superglue.
Emmett. He was no where to be seen. "SONOFA-"
Just then Jasper walked downstairs.
