Disclaimer: I own nothing dealing with db, dbz, or dbgt. All belongs to Akira Toriyama.

A\N: 7th story. 2nd Chi-Chi/Goku fic. Takes places right after Cell is defeated. Flames aren't welcomed, but constructive criticism is.

Ages: Chi-Chi-30, Goku-31, Bulma-34, Vegeta-39, Gohan-12


Chapter 1: Heartaches and Headaches

Chi-Chi let out a sigh of frustration as she sat up abruptly, wiping away yet another batch of tears. The fact that Goku was gone was surreal, and she had hoped that if she received even an once of sleep, she'd wake up from the harsh reality she found herself sucked in, but unfortunately, that wasn't so. She had known that there was a possibility that her husband wouldn't come back when he and Gohan took off in order to fight against Cell, but she pushed it away and ignored it - similar to the previous times when Goku had to go against someone for the safety of the world - determined to see her family come back to her. Something tugged at her heart to see them go, but she knew that no matter what she told them, they wouldn't change their minds, not when so many lives were at stake.

The whole time they were battling Cell - during the time the camera's were able to catch what was occurring and from the time that the camera's sudden went out and even after that, she worried immensely for the safety of her husband and only child, hoping that they'd come back to her in one piece. She hardly focused on doing or indulging in anything else until she knew for certain that they were okay. But when her son was the only one to return home many hours later, a grave expression on his face...she just knew something was amiss.

And she didn't know just how right she was.

When her only child had told her that her husband was dead, it pained her deeply. The father of her twelve year-old son; Gone. Ever since she heard that particular news earlier today, it seemed as if her downpour of tears were endless. No matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't stop crying and for the life of her she couldn't grasp the concept of why it always had to be him. Why did he have to go? Why did he have to die? And most importantly why was it always her husband? Her Goku?

She wasn't oblivious to the fact that Goku was strong and was very capable of protecting the world, but that still didn't explain why he always had to save the world, and why it was him, that had to step up and take that responsibility. Wasn't there someone else capable of protecting and defending the world?

Apparently not, she thought bitterly.

Chi-Chi shook her head, slipping out of her bed before heading towards her bathroom. Once she entered the bathroom, she grabbed the washcloth she bathed with earlier and positioned it under the faucet that belonged to the sink, before turning the water on and silently watching as the water wet the rag. Once she deemed the washcloth wet enough, she ringed the water out of the washcloth as much as possible, and then used that same washcloth to erase the tear stains that covered her cheeks.

After she was finished with the washcloth, she put it back up and turned the water off and began to observe her appearance in the mirror located in front of her: her eyes were red and swollen, her hair was a mess, strands of hair going in different directions, and her skin looked a bit pale and if things possibly couldn't get any more worse, she could already feel a headache coming along. Just her luck.

Chi-Chi released out another sigh before exiting the bathroom and heading back towards her bed, slipping back under the thin sheets the moment she reached it. She was in desperate need of some sleep, and it honestly didn't do any good that she has been waking up every fifteen minutes every time she succeeded in falling asleep - at least, that was what it seemed like. Her thoughts just seemed to continue to linger on her husband even when she attempted to lead her mind elsewhere. She looked at the clock, only to see that it was just about one thirty. Just how long has was this 'sleep for a while and then wake up moments later' going to continue? She shook her head and decided on trying to get some sleep. Just because Goku was gone, didn't mean she didn't have to get up to make breakfast in the morning - she still had a son to take care of, after all.

~~Later that same morning~~

Chi-Chi sat up, yawning sleepily as her eyes fluttered open. She was still a bit tired, but she had a son to take care of. Plus, she couldn't afford to slip up and perform her daily duties just because her husband was gone. She yawned once more before getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom to take a hot shower. Upon entering the bathroom, she quickly took off her clothes and started the water for her shower, before getting in. After that was taken care of, she let out a relaxed sigh as she eased into the shower, the hot water hitting her stressed body.

This was just what she needed. A nice hot, shower to take her mind off things and of course, a certain someone. She closed her eyes, trying to enjoy every minute of feeling relaxed before it was snatched away; for she knew it wouldn't be long before her thoughts began to linger towards Goku again.

About half an hour later, she turned the water to the shower off, before carefully stepping out and heading out the bathroom to get dressed. Once she was finally dressed, in her usual Chinese garb, she headed downstairs to start on breakfast for Gohan. He was probably hungry by now. It was already 9:00 in the morning and she usually had breakfast done by now.

She mentally scolded herself, realizing that she was already starting to slip as well as the fact that she was behind schedule.

Once she made it in the kitchen, she pulled out a few pots from underneath the cabinets and began starting on breakfast. Yesterday for breakfast, she cooked scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast. Maybe today, she should cook one of Gohan's favorites. She smiled lightly as she nodded her head. Yes, that will be what she'd cook.

%%%

Breakfast was finally done. She cooked Miso soup, tempura and some Yakitori along with rice balls. It wasn't really breakfast, in her opinion, but it would have to do. Now to wake Gohan up. Hopefully, he slept better than she did last night.

She made sure the stove was off, before heading upstairs to her son's bedroom.

"Gohan," Chi-Chi called lightly as she entered his room.

"Gohan, get up," she tried again, after she received no response the first attempt.

Gohan stirred a bit, rolling over on his back. It wasn't the response she was looking for, but she supposed it was better than nothing. Then again, Gohan was usually a light sleeper, and normally all it would take was a call of his name and he'd be up. Chi-Chi sat down beside Gohan, studying him intently. Did he experience trouble sleeping like she did last night? It was then that she noticed his cheeks were covered with dry-tear stains.

She let out a faint sigh as she turned her head away from his sleeping body, not being able to bear the thought of her little boy experiencing any form of pain. She wished that Gohan didn't have to lose his father at such a young age. It just wasn't right, nor fair. And then the fact that Goku could have came back, but refused just tore her heart up even more. Was it because of her that he didn't want to come back? Was she really that bad of a wife, that he wanted to stay away? Dead. Or... was he just getting tired of her?

She shifted on the bed, now looking out of Gohan's window. Maybe she yelled too much. Was that it? Or was it the fact that she always complained and fussed about how messy he was? She never meant any harm, she honestly didn't. She just wanted what was best for her family. And sometimes it just felt like the only way to get through them was to be strict and fuss. Maybe she pushed him too far. She dropped her head down in shame. A lot of people never understood the things she did from her view. Her perspective. She wasn't yelling just to yell. She loved her family with all of her heart. And she wouldn't trade them for anything in the world -

"Mom?"

Chi-Chi lifted her head up, "Gohan? Honey, you're up. Good, breakfast is - "

"Are you okay, mom?"

Chi-Chi smiled sadly, "I'm fine son."

"You don't have to lie for me, mom. I miss him too."

Chi-Chi looked at Gohan in shock for a moment before sighing. She should have known that she wouldn't have been able to keep anything from him. Her young boy was smart and could solve any math problem in a matter of seconds to minutes.

"Don't worry about me Gohan, I'll be fine. And I know you miss your father."

"I know he'll be back mom. I can feel it."

"Come on, son. Breakfast is ready. Go wash up and meet me downstairs."

He nodded his head, "Right."

She watched as he took off and headed for the bathroom before heading downstairs herself.

%%%

Chi-Chi let loose a faint sigh as she subtly picked at her food. She just couldn't free her mind of him. It wasn't like she wanted to forget he existed. She just wanted to be free of the heartbreak and the pain. But as long as the heartbreak lingered around, she was like a caged bird in her own mind. Sure, Goku died a handful of times, probably more, but this time she was uncertain on whether or not he'd come back, which made it different. Extremely different. After all, he refused to come back after he was granted the option to do so.

She gripped her fork tighter. How could he be so selfish…yet selfless at the same time! He has always pushed her aside like this! Always! He has always put the world first! Including in front of his own self!

She let out an exhausted sigh. She didn't know how much more of this she could take, yet this was just the beginning. This was only the first day. If she was already like this on the first day, then how would she be from a month or two for now? Would he even be back then?

"Mom?"

She loosened her grip on the fork as she raised her head. How could she forget he was there?

"What is it, Gohan?"

"Are you upset about Dad still? I -"

"Eat your food, Gohan." Chi-Chi interrupted, stuffing her own mouth with food even though she wasn't up to eating.

"But Mom, I'm already finished." Gohan protested.

"Have you completed your studies for today?" The raven-haired woman inquired.

He gave a quick nod, "Yes ma'am."

"Good. Why don't you play outside for a bit? Just don't go too far."

"Right. I won't."

She nodded in response, "Good."

Chi-Chi watched as he ran out the door before standing up and collecting the dishes and then heading for the sink.

As much as she hated to admit it, her little boy was growing up. In a couple more years or so, he was going to be an adult, all grown up. And it doesn't help that the days are going by as fast as the weather can change. She only wondered how much more of Gohan's life Goku was going to miss. He already missed a little of Gohan's childhood when he died against the battle with his older brother, and then after the battle with Frieza. How many days or years was he going to miss this time?