Bloody Satin: The Truth
(one-shot)
Disclaimer: Oh, you know the drill. They're not mine. It's not mine. Story, Aullius, Sacrea, Fenriar (never actually named in the story) and Selvienne aremiiiiiine. There, all done now.
Ratings: Femmeslash, slash, Remus being a git (I know, I'm sorry! I hate it too, but it's necessary) swearing in a few places, violence, implied rape.
A/N: This story is basically going to illustrate why I am so strongly opposed to the Lupin/Tonks relationship that JK seems to have decided upon (with a little - or a lot of - inventive embellishment. Well, I'm a fiction writer, that's what I do!). Set relatively early in Tonk's career as an Auror.
I intended this fic to be able to fit in which the universe and story that JK introduced us too, so I created my own characters rather than mess with any I didn't have to.
Lastly, do not be decieved. This may be a one-shot, but it's a damn long one and a whole bunch 'a stuff happens.
---------------------------------------Bloody Satin: The Truth------------------------------------
Tonks murmured softly in her sleep, rolling over but hampered by the considerable tangle of sheets she had managed to contrive around her. Looking over from the dressing table, Selvienne smiled to herself. As though woken by the girl's gaze upon her, Tonks' eyes flickered open, blinking against the morning sunshine. Extracting herself painstakingly from the mess of covers, "What time is it?" She peered suspiciously through the window at the bright light outside, as if accusing it of being distressingly ahead of schedule. Selvienne's eyes rolled, a slight chuckle escaping her lips. "After midday, love, so you can't accuse me of denying you your beauty sleep." Tonks, meanwhile had wandered around behind her, kneeling on the floor to rest her chin on the blonde's shoulder, sliding her arms gently around her waist, fingers playing idly with the strings on her dressing gown.
Gazing at their reflection in the tall mirror, she muttered in attempted sullenness. "S'pose not." Sel couldn't hold back to quiet laugh of amusment at the other's reaction. Tonks looked hurt and started to pull away. That only made Sel laugh the more, but she swung around on the low stool and dragged her lover back into a soft kiss, her fingers trailing over her sleep-warmed cheeks.
"Not that you need beauty sleep, of course." Tonks' turn to roll her eyes. She whispered something under her breath, that might have included the words "flatterer", "bribery" and "easily". Selvienne didn't have time to find out, before she was tugged unceremoniously off the stool to land in a graceless sprawl on top of Tonks, who was grinning. The blonde had a brief moment to think that it was only lucky the stool hadn't toppled over onto them as well, but then such mundane considerations were driven unresistingly from her mind.
Their embrace was only broken by a knock at the door.
Tonks gazed up at Selvienne's lightly flushed face, pleadingly. "Aw, ignore it, Sel, love . It's probably not important..." This prompting she followed by pressing another insistent kiss onto the girl's mouth. Inspite of the soft moan that fled her lips, Sel looked less convinced.
"Nymph, my love, how many people except Aurors know you live here?" Tonk's ignored the attempt at reasonable, rational thinking.
"My parents." A look of exaggerated horror flashed over her face. "Really, let's not answer it!" She whined piteously when Selvienne withdrew her fingers from where they had, quite unaccountably, slipped beneath Tonk's pyjama top and stood up, offering Tonks a hand. The girl stubbornly crossed her arms and refused to move. With a sigh, Selvienne withdrew the hand, hurrying to answer a second, more urgent, knock.
She ran a hand quickly over her hair before opening it, sure that all her patient grooming in front of the mirror had been totally undone by Tonk's attentions. The figure she found standing in the hallway had its back to her, but the neatly tied, golden hair was easily recognised. "Hey, Remus."
Tonks got up, hearing the name. She had been worried it would be something serious. Oddly, the few words that were exchanged before she got there were not interspersed with the gentle laughter that conversation with him usually precipitated. When she got to the door, she wished she'd stayed on the floor. Remus' face was, indeed, uncharacteristically sober.
"Remus," She whimpered, hanging on her lover's shoulder. "Don't you know it's bad manners to bring bad news before..." Her eyes danced to the clock. "Three o'clock in the afternoon?"
The simple way he looked entirely unamused by this quelled her, still relatively chirpy, comments. "What is it?" She was made more anxiously to find that Sel's expression was as grave as his. "Guys?"
Selvienne didn't answer her, exchanging a look with Remus. "I'll go get dressed, wait a minute."
Tonk's was left staring in confusion at Remus' unhelpful face, before Sel returned, dressed in muggle clothes, tucking her wand into the back of her jeans. It seemed that she had been about to sweep out without so much as a word of goodbye, but Tonks wasn't having that. She caught the girl's hand and held her back. "Where are you going?" Her eyes flickered between her and Remus, clearly not planning to let go until someone had told her what was going on. Remus sighed.
"Oh, fine. But we haven't got a lot of time."
---
"Well, why didn't you tell me? I' m going to put some clothes on. I'll be with you in half a minute." She had her back turned and didn't see the look of helplessness in her girlfriend's eyes before Remus called her up short. "You can't come, Tonks. Dumbledore's orders. You're to stay here." Tonks had stopped dead in her tracks, her face a picture of shock and disbelief.
"What? That's ridiculous! You lot can't be expecting to handle this without me! Anyway, where she goes, I go. " Selvienne slipped a comforting hand into Tonks', trying to assure her that this was of course so, and Remus was about to say that Dumbledore had probably been half asleep, hadn't meant it, tell her to hurry up and get dressed so they could get going. Remus, however, was unobliging.
"No. Not this time Tonks. It's too important. And Dumbledore seems to think... Well, not just him really..." Tonks' expression was cold.
"What, Remus? What does he think?" The man looked uncomfortable, fiddled nervously with the edge of his sleeve, looked anywhere but at her face. "What!"
"He seems to think that you two aren't the best combination to have working together, particularly not on anything as dangerous as this." He avoided the twin disbelieving stares. "Well..." He tried casualness, nevermind its unappeasing effect. "You have to admit, you distract each other. You can't concentrate on what you're doing if you're constantly worrying about each other!" That was the final straw. If he'd been watching more carefully, he'd have spotted the change from staring to glowering and might have stoped while he was ahead.
Tonks' face still showed no new emotion, although Selvienne's expression had become one of downright outrage. The older of the two girls, her hair an incongruous shade of light pink, spoke in a voice that could have shattered glass with its pointed malice. "So, Sirius won't be going either then."
Remus seemed finally to realise how deep he had dug himself in. "Now, that's completely different. Me and Sirius..."
"IT'S NOT DIFFERENT AT ALL!" Tonks was shaking with anger. "The only "difference" is that you get to assign the teams. Let me guess Remus, this plan of yours conveniently has the two of you sneaking off together into the jaws of death, during which time I'm sure you'll find a moment for at least one "last kiss, just in case we don't make it". Am I right? Contradict me, Remus. Tell me I'm out of line. Tell me I'm not right." Remus stuttered, caught off balance.
"Tonks, that's..." It wasn't going to calm her down.
"TELL ME I'M NOT FUCKING RIGHT, REMUS!"
Nothing. He could say nothing.
---
Having tidied the kitchen for the eighth time that day, Tonks leant back against the kitchen table to survey the spotlessly shining surfaces and neatly ordered bottles, jars, tins and other assorted items. Merlin, the waiting was killing her. A sabotage mission that would take six of the most highly trained Aurors, the ones it would cripple them to lose, into a lair known to contain most of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's most treasured acolytes was being carried out in her absence. She had been deliberately excluded from one of the most difficult and critical excursions yet, and usually she would havebeen thrilled. She would have been glad that she was well out of it, would have curled up on the sofa with a book and Se-... and Selvienne. That was why she couldn't even think about taking her mind off it. The normal tight anxiety she felt in the pit of her stomach when her friends were throwing themselves into danger had been multiplied a hundred fold. Not only was she not there to look out for them, but Selvienne was being thrown along with them, and she. wasn't. there.
---
It was dark, terribly so. Remus' nerves were blazing, flaring at every tiny sound or flicker of light. His fingers were clenched so tightly around his wand that his knuckles were white, the bones straining against his thin, pale skin; sweat and blood - some his own, some not - streaked his face and hands. For the moment, the only noise he could hear was Sirius' soft steps behind him, and their wavering breaths that they struggled so hard to keep quiet.
"Where are James and Sel?" Remus flinched instinctively at the whisper from behind him, smothering the urge to shush his lover frantically. He forced his nerves to settle... a little, anyway. And thought about it. He had to guess the time; he wasn't in favour of the quick death that luminous watch hands could, and probably would, bring in this situation.
"They should be almost level with us, I guess. There were a few more obstacles on their side, but we should be meeting up at the back in a few minutes. I wouldn't think we had more than five hundred metres or so from here..." He assumed Sirius nodded behind him, not turning around.
"Remus Lupin." The oily, treacle-think voice made Remus' skin crawl, just as it had done since Hogwarts. He put a hand behind him, instinctively pressing Sirus to stay back, stay quiet, stay... out of this. He, meanwhile, edged forwards a little more, wand braced before him. There was an amused snigger from the blank darkness ahead. "So tense, so anxious Remus. It can't be good for you." He didn't answer. But they were right, his taught muscles spasmed in panic as the waxy, mocking face emerged from a wall of shadow barely inches from his own. A shading charm, it must have been; no way could he have gotten so close in normal darkness. Still Remus said nothing, a shuddering familiarity staying his wandhand, his clining grip on humanity stopping the killing curse on his lips.
"Oh, don't sulk, Remus. We were schoolmates once. Now you own't even have the courtesy to say hello? I think that very poor of you, Remus." The werewolf was still trying to work out what this man was doing here. He should still have been in council with his fellows. Oh Merlin, someone must have heard something. They must have known someone was there.
His heart plummetted as he heard an almost inaudible whisper from the cavernous darkness behind him. "Kill him, Remus." Again the curse leapt to his lips, trying to cast itself out into being, but he kept it back, fought it down. He couldn't do it, not in cold blood like this, not when he was just standing there.
"Ah, we're not alone." Oh Merlin, he'd not seen Sirius before. Now he... What now? "Hello, Master Black. I should have known, I suppose, that where I found Remus here, you couldn't be far away. Still inseperable, then?" Remus didn't answer, but the murderous words were getting harder and harder to hold. "Well, isn't that nice."
Remus whirled in terror, turning his back on Aullius as he heard Sirius start the curse. "Sirius, don't!"
Senses quicker than human slammed pain and shock into his head as he felt the blast, before he heard the shout or saw the flash of red light. Aullius' voice was cruel and venomous as it spat the word he enjoyed so much, more even than killing. Remus dived forwards, but too late to intercept the blur of light that struck Sirius in the chest, throwing him to the floor, shrieking in agony. "Avada Kadavra!" A momentary lapse in his attention from Sirius, sent Aullius crashing to the ground; still; dead. It was a mercy compared to what Remus would have called justice for this. The Death Eater despatched, Remus turned back to his lover now lying almost still on the ground, Aullius' curse lifted. "Sirius?" He touched the Auror's clammy, pale cheek gently. He was still breathing, at least... just. "Sirius, love?"
"Love?" A scoffing voice commented. Oh Merlin, not another one... "Why Remus, I never knew you were such a softy." They continued. Remus hadn't looked to see who it was, but he thought he could have a fair guess.
"Sacrea." Past the level of "one side versus the other", a lot of personal feuds had sprouted, like fiercely barbed vines, out of this war. Sacrea had already killed a number of Remus' family, for pure spite as well as deeming it vengeance for those of his own circle that Remus had removed.
"Very good, little Wolfie. Bright for a dumb animal." His self control jarred and nearly broke, but he didn't spring to his feet and start firing off curses as instinct ordered him. That would leave Sirius all too exposed. He swivelled slowly, very slowly, stopping on his knees facing him. That, perhaps, hadn't been the wisest move he could have made, he realised too late. True, Sirius was shielded from the Death Eater, as well as Remus could manage, but his wand hand was now in full and unguarded view. Well, no way to help that now.
Spells kept running hectically through Remus' head, mixing up with each other, knocking his thoughts into confusion. As with Aullius, it rubbed every inch of his humanity raw, to think of murdering him as he just stood there. But what that bastard had done to Sirius had certainly hardened the werewolf's heart. The unforgivable words pressed that bit closer to freedom now.
Sacrea, disappointed with Remus' lack of reply, seemed ready to abandon pleasantries in any case. His wand was beginning to twitch in his fingers, anxiously... impatiently. Someone had better move soon or... There came, suddenly, the sound of running feet from the corridor behind Sacrea, accompanied by the zip and zing of piercing curses and hexes rebounding of the stone walls. The Death Eater did not turn and seized the momentary flicker in Remus' attention to raise his wand. "Rendio!" The Auror's concentration snapped back in just barely enough time to block the curse, intended to snap any bone it encountered agonizingly, incapacitatingly and beyond repair. It fizzled out against his powerful shield charm. And the look of rage and hatred was stiffened dead on his face as the owners of the footsteps hoved into sight around the curve of the corridor and a jet of livid green light caught the Death Eater in the back, knocking him off his feet, broken in the conquering.
Remus shook off his moment's shock and pressed his own wand into use, firing off a volley of random curses at the place where his companions' pursuer, or pursuers, would shortly appear. James skidded to a halt on one side of him, Selvienne on the other and they joined him in his assualt, even though no enemy was yet visible. Over the cacophony of their own attacks, they did not realise the footsteps had dissolved into, apparently, thin air, with only a small "crack!" to mark their vanishing.
Finally, when no pursuit arrived, James held up a hand for the others to stop. The three wands dropped to respective sides and Remus and Selvienne turned to their friend, and superior. "I suppose they dashed off for reinforcements. Or to hide, wouldn't put it past this lot just to lay low until we've gone. They might just be waiting to- Bloody hell, Remus, what happened to Sirius?"
The blonde's grey eyes flickered guiltily back to his prone lover. He did, indeed, make a distressing sight, to Remus most of all. His lips were caked in dry blood - he had bitten his tongue, Remus supposed - one wrist was bent at a very strange angle. It looked as though he had fallen on it, when he went crashing to the floor. He was still deathly pale. But one brief look told Remus that he was still breathing. Sirius' breath had always been light; it wasn't unusual, particularly in the early years, for Remus to lie in cold panic by his lover's side, praying to see his slim chest rise again. It always did, of course, but that didn't stop the reccurent terror that one day it might not. The werewolf's eyes were used to tracking the almost imperceptable movement. He knelt at Sirius' side, spelling a bandage out around the broken wrist and did his best to wipe away the blood from his face. He stopped when James' hand fell upon his shoulder. "Come on, Moony. This isn't the place. We have to get back. Then you can coo over him and nurse him all you like. Look out." He stuffed his wand into his belt then leant down and slid his arms beneath the unconscious form's shoulders and knees. It was humiliating for Remus that he couldn't be the one to carry his boyfriend back out of this hellhole, but he and James both knew that he couldn't lift the man, both taller and stockier - though neither of them was especially thick or heavy. They couldn't levitate him and move him that way; if they were attacked, they'd probably drop him and that could do as much as kill him if his head cracked on the stone floor.
"We should apparate. I don't knowabout you two, but I'm not in a hurry to run into anyone else, when we're all in a state like this." Selvienne eyed James, his already tired body sagging under Sirius' weight. "It'd be quicker too, and we need to get him out of here as quickly as possible." The man had slipped out of unconsciousness once, only to cough more thick, dark blood onto his lips. His breathing was shuddery and rattling. Remus was quick to agree with her. But James knocked that plan aside.
"No." They were about to argue but... "It's the state we're all in that I'm worried about. We're all tired, shaken and scared. Trying to apparate like this'll end us in a thousand little pieces each, spread right across England, like as not." There was a growl of irritation to the words that Remus couldn't quite explain, but James was not pleasant in such moods and the protesters fell meekly into their places without another word. Remus lead the group, wand in hand, James came second with Sirius loading his arms and Selvienne followed, one ear constantly cocked for a sounds of followers. They set off in silence, all twitching reflexively at every tiny sound. After about a hundred uneventful metres though, they relaxed a little. The Death Eaters that were left had probably evacuated, until the pesky little Aurors had gone.
"You two ran into a spot of bad luck too, then?" Selvienne's thin voice, hoarse from shouting over spellfire, ventured as they set off back the way Remus and Sirius had come. Remus hadn't realised how tired his own voice sounded until he attempted a reply
"Yeah. Aullius showed up in front of us, taunted, sneered. Sirius was about to curse him and I..." He hesitated guiltily, almost able to hear Sel waiting for the last words, itching to hurry him on. "I wouldn't let him. I mean Aullius was just standing there. I could let Sirius become a cold-blooded murderer like that, not for him. To have killed him like that would have made us as bad as them."
"No, it wouldn't." Remus looked up sharply. He hadn't realised James had been listening. "To be as bad as them would require cursing him into paralysis, torturing him then killing him, just after promising to let him go. The fact is, Remus." The blonde winced a little; he hated to hear his friend's voice so cold and harsh, rasped with yelling like all of them. "That you did exactly what you said Tonks would do if we let her join us, something I've never seen Tonks do in all our time in the Order but something I've seen you two do time and time again. The fact is," He repeated. "That Tonks isn't here because you so wanted Sirius to be wandering dark, perilous corridors with you. How many oppotunities did you two snatch for "one last kiss" tonight then, Remus? Or did the gravity of the situation warrant more than that? "One last fuck in a dark cupboard before you went off to face your deaths"? That more accurate?" The sniping questions did not want answer, only to sense the damning effect as the truth struck home.
One set of footsteps fell quiet. Selvienne and come to a dead halt in the middle of the corridor, her face contorted with horror and disgust as she stared at Remus. "How dare you, Remus?" He tried to splutter out a reply, some excusing answer, a false allibi. But there was no chance.
With a loud "CRACK!" a figure flashed into the space behind Selvienne, pulling an arm tight around her neck before she could turn. A second hand caught her wrist, twisting until with a sickening snap, her wand clattered to the floor and her hand hung limp. A spasm of pain twisted her face. Remus raised his wand instantly but the amused laugh of the Death Eater stopped him in his tracks. "I wouldn't if I were you, Auror." It was a voice he knew. "How good is your aim? Can you be sure you won't hit this darling creature by mistake?" The creature's wand hand ran nauseatingly up Selvienne's side, fingers tickling her chest before they stopped against her pale cheek. "You know, she is rather a pretty little thing. Death seems a bit of a waste, and it would be terrible to spoil such beauty with torture. No, I think I might keep her for myself." The offending hand crept down to slip probing fingers just below the waistband of her jeans.
The girl's face was frozen in terror and revulsion. Remus could just discern the words she mouthed at him. "Do it, Remus." He swallowed down the immediate surge of fear and took aim.
"Ooh, how very daring, young man. Willing to risk your comrade's life for the possibility of killing me. I'm impressed at your foolhardiness." As he spoke the arm was pulling her even closer back against him, she whimpered pleadingly, eyes begging Remus to do something. He... couldn't.
"Oh now, hush, my dear." She was trying to squirm away from the hand that persistently rubbed against her. "Well, I'm sure this encounter shall not be our last, Aurors. And thank you for the beautiful present. That gave Remus the resolve he needed and the words blasted from his lips at last.
Too late. With a "Crack!" that resounded off the stone walls, they were gone, Selvienne's wand lying abandoned on the floor. Remus' curse flashed into the nothingness they left in their wake. James looked like he was about to fall, collapse to the ground. Luckily he seemed to remember the injured body in his arms and merely slumped heavily against the wall, knocked dumb by sheer, unappeasable trauma. Remus was struck differently. He was thrown into wild, frantic action. "Oh Merlin, this can't be happening. Look, they're probably still in the building, right? No one wants to risk apparating far with a passenger trying to escape, right? So, right, all we have to do is find them, right?" Panic was making him babble almost senselessly. And before James could stop him, he was charging off back the way they had come.
"Remus!" James screamed after him, but to no effect. He was already far gone into the darkness, feet tripping and stumbling, his uneven gait nearly throwing him to the ground more than once. James sank to the ground, laying Sirius down gently. He took a muggle handkerchief out of his pocket and began to carefully wipe away a little of the blood, sweat and dirt that covered the man's face. "You should never have been here, Padfoot. Too hot-headed and too distracting. It should have been Tonks with Remus." If he hadn't got himself hurt, they could have moved faster, that bastard might never have caught up with them. He cut himself off there. thinking like that would just make him bitter and would solve nothing.
At several points, sitting there in the corridor, virtually alone, James thought about just taking Sirius and getting the Hell out of there. But that meant giving Remus up for... dead. No, he may not have been being greatly helpful to him, but James refused, point-blank refused, to leave Remus alone in this forsaken Hell-pit. But he could be dead already. What if Sirius dies while you're just sitting here, and there's not even anything left of Remus to save? That thought was firmly banished with the rest.
Almost an hour and a half past with no sign of him and the thoughts returned with a vengeance. James nearly leapt out of his skin when his friend suddenly appeared from thin air in front of him, collapsing to the floor as soon as his feet were on solid ground. Rushing to his side, James was relieved to see that Remus was not only still breathing but still conscious - only totally exhausted, hurt, his face flecked with blood. The older man rolled him over onto his back, laying the blonde head in his lap, although it wasn't too long before Remus could sit up on his own. Kneeling, leant against his friend's shoulder, Remus was first able to speak, haltingly, still breathing heavily. "Ran into more Death Eaters. Subordinates, luckily for me. Weren't up to much in themselves, there were just too many of them." James patted his shoulder comfotingly.
"Come on, you're still alive. Your odds couldn't have been that bad." Remus gave him a dead, unamused laugh.
"You'd think." They fell back into silence.
A few minutes later, James felt damp creeping through the shoulder of his shirt. Terrified that it was blood, he turned to Remus but it was no leaking wound, he found. The werewolf was crying. Through his sobs, he choked out what no one had been willing to admit. "I couldn't find her, James." James shook his head. He hadn't thought he would.
"It's my fault, James. If I hadn't been such a..." His expression seemed to say that he could find a word despicable enough. "We'd be out of here by now, Selvienne would be fine." It was a mark of the effect the night's events had had on him that the next came as an after-thought. "...and Sirius wouldn't have gotten hurt." James sighed. There was nothing he could say. It was true.
"Come on, can you walk? We ought to get out of here as fast as we can. Who knows when they'll figure ot that we're still here and come hunting." Remus nodded weakly and pulled himself to his feet. Too tired to carry him anymore, James levitated Sirius and guided his body carefully ahead of them.
---
They broke ground level about half an hour later, coming out in a muggle warehouse, somewhere in a gloomy, non-descript city. The door down into the Death Eaters' headquaters was magically sealed, no muggle was going to be wandering down there by accident.
Outside all was dark; it must have been gone midnight hours ago. James was about to head straight off for their portkey, when Remus' hand gripped his arm and held him back. He looked around for what Remus had seen and... He stayed just calm enough to lower Sirius to the ground before a thousand different shrieking voices let rip inside his head. Remus released his arm and dropped to his knees, wretching.
In the shadows, close to the warehouse's big double doors a shape, blurred by the orange streetlights was slumped against the wall. For some reason, the first thing that James noticed was that the pale, slender throat had been slit, drenching everything in blood, though it was hard to tell which puddle had been spilt from where. That bastard hadn't left anything for the imagination, had he? Her jeans and underwear had been yanked down to her ankles, deep red gashes covering her thighs. Her top had been ripped open, similar marks covering her chest and stomach. The thing that continually, repulsively held James' eye, though, was the black marks on her left cheek. He forced himself to go closer and confirmed his suspicion. The Dark Mark... branded into her fair skin. And a few feet from her body, he saw the piece of paper on the floor beside her. He summoned it to him, unable to press himself any nearer to the hideous scene the Death Eater had left behind him. Half the paper was soaked with blood, but the writing, magically seared across the page, was not obscured.
Aurors,
I was so satisfied with your little gift that I thought I should give you one in return.
I do hope you like it.
She really was worth the trouble, even though she would keep struggling irritatingly. I hope you two gentlemen had a chance for a go yourselves before I took her off your hands.
I'm sure I'll be seeing you again soon, Aurors. Look out for me.
As he finished reading, though howhe made his eyes follow the repellent words, he couldn'tguess, the note curled out of his grasp and twisted away in a flicker of fire until there was nothing. James sagged to a crouch, tear-drowned face in his hands. He felt Remus' hand tentatively touch his shoulder.
"What did it say?" James just shook his head, gasping for breath between silent, shaking sobs.
"This is your fucking fault, Remus. Now one of my best friends is hurt, one's dead, one's an insensitive bastard who chose a thrill-seeking tryst with his boyfriend over his friend's safety and..." The rest of that he didn't finish aloud, but his thoughts continued it for him. ...and I don't know how I'm going to break this to the other one.
---
He took a wary step back as the door was yanked open. It broke his heart, again, to see the relieved and elated smile vanish from Tonks' face. Searching the corridor and finding him alone, her eyes filled with tears and her face paled in terror. "She's hurt, isn't she? Badly?" He made no reply, but she seemed to take this as a confirmation. "Well what are we waiting for? We have to get to Mungo's!" She was half way out of the door, when James had to stop her. The anxiety on her face mixed with annoyance and she pushed his hand from her shoulder. "We can't just hang around here! I need to be with her!" But she didn't carry on moving; she stood fearfully watching James' face. "James... what?"
"She's dead, Tonks." He stared at the floor, unable to look her in the eye.
"No... no, she can't be... she can't! Why would you lie to me about something like this James!" Oh Merlin, he thought. She's in shock, she really doesn't believe me. "She can't be dead, James! Where is she? Did you leave her behind? We have to go and get her! We can't just leave her there, what if she's in trouble?"
James did all he could think of to knock her out of her frenzy. And regretted it, necessary as it was, as soon as his palm connected with her cheek. Stunned, she raised a hand to her reddened cheek, staring at him in disbelief. "What did you-"
"She's DEAD!" He shouldn't have shouted, but there was nothing he could do to stop himself. The time it had taken to get to the hospital and his brief spell there with Remus and Sirius had not been enough for him to recover from his own shock. He had done nothing to deserve what he had been forced to see. "She's dead, Tonks. I would never lie about this to you. Never. I'm..." Sorry. He was cut short because he had to stoop quickly to catch her as she half collapsed, half flung herself, to the floor. He hugged her tightly as she trembled with hysterical sobs.
He couldn't have said how long they stood there, Tonk's only kept on her feet by his arms around her. Eventually, though, she pulled back a little from him and, staring vacantly past his shoulder, tried to speak. "I want to see her." He nodded softly, stroking a little of her long, black hair back from her wet face, ignoring the tears on his own cheeks.
---
The ceremony finished and wizards and witches filed away, in small groups or alone, until only five figures remained. Dumbledore studied the young Aurors' faces for a moment before following the rest of the group away through the graves, with only a consolatory nod to Tonks and a soft murmured word. "She'll not be the last, I fear. Poor Selvienne."
Fighting his better sense, which was ordering him flatly to keep his mouth shut, Remus, shuffling nervously in his dress robes, gave a small cough before he spoke. "It's not going to be the same without her, is it?"
"No. It isn't." Fresh tears started off down Tonks' cheeks, moistening the tracks of salt left by their predecessors. "That's generally what happens when people die, Remus. Perhaps you should have thought of that at a moment when you could have done something about it." Her words were bitter, stained with anger too fierce to be directed at him alone, but he had chosen to speak. It was only fair that he was in the firing line. "Did such a great job of protecting your boyfriend, Remus. I'm not surprised that you were too preoccupied to think about looking after my girlfriend as well. I'm sure this has all been so very hard on you!" She pushed past James, next to her, and ran, robes flapping around her feet.
Remus looked as though he was about to follow, but James grabbed him and firmly held him back. "Don't. She'll probably curse you into a thousand pieces." He might once have said it as a joke, but their was nothing humorous about it now. Tonks, overcome with grief and fury, had looked ready to kill. He nodded subtley to Sirius; someone ought to go after her. There was no telling what she'd do if allowed to go off on her own like this, but he intended to say and force some sense - possibly even sensitivity - into Remus' head, by force if necessary. Even Sirius didn't seem to object, shooting Remus a glare of his own as he jogged away.
---
"Hey Tonks! I'm sorry, there was no call for him to- I mean, he shouldn't have... I'm sorry." He put a hand out to touch her shoulder but she shrugged it roughly away.
"No need to apologise, Sirius. You were unconscious, there was nothing you could have done." ...but you shouldn't have been there in the first place.It was pointless to point it out to him. He knew full well what Remus had done and she knew he knew it. Word had it that he hadn't spoken to Remus since he had found out. He was staying with James and Lily, who was at home, heavily pregnant, rather than in the house he shared with the werewolf; that much was certainly true. No, she didn't blame him. Not really.
"I could kill him, Sirius. I swear to Merlin, I could kill him." Sirius took a step backwards in alarm. He had known Tonks was mad, stricken with loss and pain, but he hadn't thought her rage with Remus went so deep that...
"Tonks, don't say things like that! I understand. Sel might still be alive if he hadn't been so stupid, and Merlin knows even I can't stand to be around him right now because of it, but killing him won't bring her back!"
Tonks turned around, confusion and misery on her face. "What?" Something dawned on her. "You thought I meant-! Oh Merlin, no, I didn't mean that! Sirius, I doubt I'll ever really forgive him for it and right now I hate him more than I ever thought I could but I don't want to kill Remus!"
"Then-?"
"The Death Eater, Sirius. They all deserve executing anyway, but ifanyone besides You-Know-Who ever deserved real torture..." He walked up behind her and put his arms around her shoulders.
"I know, Sweetheart, I know." He kissed her cheek softly and she didn't push him away. "One thing..."
"Mmm?"
"Can I help?"
"No."
The Sun dived into a pool of clouds, leaving the sky behind it red with bood and anger. Vengeance and red, red roses.
----------------------------------------------The End-------------------------------------------------
A/N: C'est fini! Nyaha! Took me forever, but it's finished! -dances- I'd really love some reviews for this. I worked so very hard on it and it'd suck if I got no feedback at all! I'll give you cyber cookies -dangles temptingly- Mmmbribery
Also, I realised after writing this that something I included totally contradicts some suppositions by Harry in the actual books. Anyone who can find what I'm talking about can have MORE cyber cookies.
TTFN folks. -waves-
