I did a little jumping around in this story sorry! I just didn't want to have to write something that everyone already knew like the quests etc. It's easy to follow just this all takes place during the Redcliff quest line. Enjoy! Thanks again to my beta reader for all your yelling er I mean constructive criticism :P No swartzvald i do appreciate you looking over my horrible stories even with all my horrible grammar and inability to spell character's name right. Anyways with that said enjoy!
If there was anything Kahlan appreciated about Redcliffe it was sleeping in an actual bed. It made fighting the horde of Zombies from the village worth it. For the past month or so they had all been sleeping on the cold hard ground. Luckily they had managed to pick up some bedrolls and tents after taking care of the mess at the Mage's tower. To everyone's credit no one had really complained about it. Until now at any rate.
Sighing, the warden settled against the head board, working the straps of her leather bracers. It had been over two weeks since they arrived and so far things weren't going the way she had pictured it. First there was the huge battle in the village. Then they after all the blood and sweat they learned that the Arl falling mysteriously ill was only one of the problems inside the castle. The Arl's son, Connor, turned out to be the one causing all the problems in the village and to make things worse he was a mage hidden by his mother from the circle. Throw in a Blood Mage, the entire Circle of Magic, a trip into the Fade, and things were proving very difficult. And they still had to find the Urn of Sacred Ashes that may or may not exist.
Leliana raised her hand to knock on the door frame but caught herself. This was perhaps the first time she had ever seen their leader relaxed. "Enjoying yourself?" The bard chuckled when Kahlan blushed at being caught. Leliana just wished the woman did it more often. Maybe if she did there would be anymore dark circles beneath her eyes. "Don't worry I think even Finn is enjoying himself. Causing much grief for Lady Isolde."
"Good." There was something about the woman that rubbed the warden the wrong way. From the very beginning she lied and tried to manipulate the situation to cast blame at everyone but herself. On top of that she always looked and spoke to Alistair as if he was a bug that needed to be crushed. It was clear the that Arl's wife was still bothered about what must have passed when Alistair was a child. "Have you talked to Wynne?"
"Yes is still trying to recover her strength. The trip to the fade in search of Connor's Demon proved to be much more draining then she thought it would be."
"I was hoping we could set off for the Urn in the morning, but it seems we will need to delay one more day."
"Just one?"
Kahlan bit her lip to keep herself from smiling, "Seems like I'm not the only one enjoying the comfort of a bed again."
"Too bad it's just enjoying the sleep and not other interesting things a person can do in one." Leliana grinned.
"I'll take your word on that one."
The bard sat on the edge of the bed, "Have you never been with a man before?"
Suddenly self-conscious, Kahlan swung her legs over the side and started to idly pack her things she had thrown carelessly on the bed. "I've never felt strongly enough about anyone to give myself in that way. I mean there were crushes and stolen kisses but nothing more than that." Thinking of Nathan Howe gave her mixed feelings. The Howe's had always been around. She could remember the way she used to tag along with Fergus and Nathan as they went off exploring secret passages in the castle. Remember the first time Nathan saw her more than just his best friend's little sister. He had been the first boy she ever kissed. Hell, Kahlan even found herself falling for him at sixteen. Now none of those feelings remained thanks to what his monstrous father had done. "I was too busy sneaking off the training grounds and getting my hands dirty to really take the time to notice anyone. My mother had even given up on trying to arrange a marriage for me."
"But what about Alistair." Leliana wasn't blind to the fact that the rouge's hand stilled if only for a fraction. "I see the way you both look at each other when you think the other isn't aware."
Kahlan shifted so her hair fell over her face hoping it would hide her blush. "And here I thought I was being quiet about it."
"Oh you are to him, just not anyone else. I can't tell you how many times he's asked me if you had said anything about him to anyone. He feels for you, Kahlan, but just sees himself unworthy of you."
"Unworthy? Maker why does he think that!"
"I'm not sure, but I just see the way you both are dancing around what you feel and if anyone deserves some type of happiness it's you two. Just think about what I've said I'll leave you to rest." Leliana gave her friend a small smile before leaving Kahlan to her thoughts.
o0oo0o0o0
(after the temple quest sorry got lazy plus we all know what happens)
("What's this gong do?" "No, don't-" +GONG+ "oh hell...")
Alistair found Kahlan sitting outside on the steps of the temple. He watched for a moment as she tried feverishly to clean her hand of dirt, grime, and maker knew what else. It was no surprise to find her alone, especially after the trials she had to face inside.
"Here."
Kahlan took the cloth he offered but didn't look up, afraid he would see the way her eyes were red from her crying. Seeing the spirit of her father was just the final straw. All control she had on all her grief and pain just all came crumbling down.
"Thanks."
He heard the tears and his heart wrenched in pain. "Kahlan." Sitting down beside her, Alistair wrapped his arms around her saying nothing more. Just simply held her allowing her the time she needed to cry everything out. It was actually a surprise that she held it together this long. From the first moment he had meet the woman, she never stopped to allow herself to simply let everything sink in. Kahlan had become very good at just burying everything so no one would question her command.
When she found no more tears would come, Kahlan lifted her head from his shoulder wiping at her eyes. "Everyone ready to head out?"
Just like that she had pulled herself together and there was no trace of that vulnerable woman he held in his arms only moments ago. "Almost."
"I know everyone is eager to get the Ashes back to Redcliff just so they can have the comforts of a bed again."
Alistair stopped her from standing. "I have something for you." This wasn't really how he wanted this to happened, but maker knew when they would find themselves alone again. Plus he just wanted to chase the sadness from her eyes.
This time Kahlan looked up smiling, "Yeah?"
Suddenly nervous, Alistair pulled his back from his shoulder and dug inside. "Do you know what this is?"
The female warden leaned over to study the red rose cradled in the man's battered hands. She couldn't help but tease him, "Your new weapon of choice?"
"Ah yes!" he held it up like a sword and began to slash at invisible enemies. "Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements." Alistair changed the tone of his voice drawing the attention of Morrigan at the bottom of the stairs. He would never hear the end of it, but it was all worth it just to be able to make Kahlan laugh at such a time. Feel my thorns darkspawn! I will overpower you with my rosy scent."
She was in tears again only this time was from laughing so hard. Leave to Alistair to make her forget about all her trouble. "Sentiment can be a pretty potent weapon." Kahlan agreed drowning in the power of his smile.
"I picked it in Lothering. I just remember thinking," The ex-templar twirled the rose between his fingers. "how can something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness. I properly should have left it alone, but I couldn't. The darkspawn would come and their taint would just destroy it. So I've had it ever since."
"That's a nice sentiment."
"I thought I might give it to you actually." Before he lost his courage, he placed the rose in her hands cursing the way his own trembled. So much for smoothness. "In a lot of ways I think the same things when I look at you."
Kahlan found herself fumbling and unsure of herself for the first time since they started this journey together. "Thank you, Alistair. That's a lovely thought."
He managed a weak smile, "I just thought, here I am doing all this complaining, and you haven't exactly been having a good time of it, yourself. You've had none of the good experience of being a Grey Warden since your Joining. Not a word of thanks or congratulations. It's all been death and fighting and tragedy. I thought maybe I could say something. Tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this…darkness."
Kahlan resisted the urge to press the flower to her chest like a small child would. No one had ever given her flowers before. So she would cherish this one not because it was her first, but because it came from a man she was finding herself falling hard for. When they made camp that night she would have to seek out Wynne and she if the mage had a spell that would help preserve the rose. It was obvious that this rose had some type of magical quality to it if it lasted this long with out withering away in Alistair's pack. However she wanted to make sure she did everything she could to preserve this little piece of beauty and hope in the mist of so much darkness. "Thank you Alistair." There was nothing more she could come up with to say.
Smiling, Alistair just simply shrugged. If he had known that giving her something as simple as a smile would get her to light like that, he would have given it to her weeks ago. "I know for the most part I'm a fumbling idiot-."
"That's just part of your charm." She assured. A charm that she couldn't seem to resist even when she tried to put her mind to it. When they started this quest she had only two things in mind and that was ending the blight and making sure the Howe received the punishment he so richly deserved. Now things were so much more complicated. In mist of everything she found friendship with people she never would ever though would be friends with. No longer did she just seem them as soldiers or helping stones to get to the end. When they hurt she hurt. When they hungered, so did she. When they were troubled they would sit but the fire and spend the night talking it through. Somehow the lines had began to blur and found to herself vowing to make sure that each and every one of them would make it to the end alive.
"So you say." He mumbled turning back to glare at Morrigan at the end of the stairs. She was watching them with a slight shake of the head and could only imagine what she was saying under her breath.
"Don't worry about Morrigan, Alistair. I don't think she knows how to be nice to anyone." In the months they had been traveling together the witch of the wilds showed no signs of letting down her walls to let anyone end. It wasn't something she was going to lose sleep over really. Deciding to lighten up the mood, she bumped his shoulders with hers, "You said I was beautiful."
A deep red blush crept up his neck, "No I didn't."
"Yes you did."
He continued to fumble until the blush reached his hair line, "You know you're pretty, Kahlan."
Kahlan arched a brow, "Oh, so it's only pretty now."
"Well I mean you are covered in dragon's blood, dirt and well, Maker knows what else."
She sighed brushing the rose petal with the pads of her fingers memorizing the texture. "Such a shame really because I was going to tell you how much I love that you're a fumbling idiot most the time. And how nice your smile is and how handsome you were. And well never mind I guess since I'm only pretty I won't bother with it."
"Wait-What?" If it was possible Alistair's face turned redder. "Really?"
What she thought would be a good joke turned into a realization for her. The way he looked at her with such astonishment told her, he thought himself unworthy of such words.
"Alistair."
Whatever she was going to say would have to wait as the rest of their companions filed out of the temples looking more than eager to set off back to Redcliff. Tucking the flower safely away in her pack, she brushed her hands clean and stood ready to lead them back.
The transition from woman to Warden was so smooth and quick that no one saw for the exception of Alistair. Knowing that she had opened up to him and allowed him to see it made him grin like an idiot.
"Oh Maker." Morrigan grumbled when the group finally joined her at the bottom of the steps. "Are you going to be wearing that look through the entire journey back?"
"Yes, just because I know how much you like it." With a little spring in his step, he started of whistling adding to the annoyance on the witch's face. The journey back was going to be fun to say the least.
0o0o0o0oo0
"Me? King!" Alistair still hadn't let the subject drop even as he sat with Kahlan for a late night meal. Being wardens they always had to squeeze in two to three extra meals to keep the stabbing hunger pains away. Which is why they usually where the first and last shift on the night watches.
Kahlan watched him tear a hunk of cheese off and stuff it angrily into his mouth. The man did love his cheese, she silently thought as she made a small mental note to make sure they packed some once they left the castle. "Why not? I think that Ferdeln could use a bastard son to shake things up."
He scowled at her, "You're not helping. I mean I can't be king."
"Why not?"
"Because I don't know how to lead." He stated simply. "Bad things happen when I try. I mean if I have taken command of this quest we would be going in the wrong direction with no pants on."
She let the matter drop for now because it clearly upset him. "I hate that you sell yourself so short, Alistair. You think yourself unworthy of so many things."
The male warden dropped his gaze to his plate as if it had become the most fascinating thing in the world. Being the bastard son of a king wasn't something he was praised for. Every time he thought himself worthy of anything some one was always there to shove him back down into the filth where he seemed to belong. The one person who ever cared about him ended up sending him of the Chantry leaving him crushed. So he learned to make jokes through life to help him cope with all the short comings. "Duncan was the first person to ever see anything in me and mean it. So it's quite hard not to."
"You didn't fail him." Kahlan corrected reaching to take his hand. Their fingers linked on their own accord. "You-we were following orders. We couldn't have known that Logiahn would betray us. We didn't know what would happen. But Duncan believed in the both of us to be able to do this. I wouldn't have gotten this far without you Alistair."
"I doubt that."
"From the moment we left the wilds you've been my moral compass. I was so ready to let my need for revenge fuel my actions. I didn't care what happened to anyone as long as we got the job done and I was able to make both Howe and Loghain pay for what they did. But it's been you," Kahlan squeezed his hand doing her best to try to covey the meaning of her words. 'That has made me realize that this quest is bigger than any personal agenda. You gave me strength to do the impossible, to feel like I'm a part of something, part of a family again."
The corner of his mouth lifted in a slight smile unsure what to say. "You're the closest thing I have to a family. A best friend."
"I have something for you." Grinning, Kahlan pushed away from the table to hunt up her pack. Nestled next to the rose he had given her was his mother's amulet wrapped in a white cloth.
His brow arched in confusion when she placed it in his hands and when he unfolded it his heart ached with a distant memory. "This is my mother's amulet." Emotions clogged his throat making it almost impossible to breath. It was just like he remembered before he threw it against the wall in a fit of stupid rage. "But why isn't it broken? Where did you find it?"
Kahlan wondered for a moment if she should lie and say she found it somewhere else. She didn't know how the truth would affect him. Ultimately, she went for the latter, "In the Arl's office."
"His office." The warden blinked at the news as he struggled to get his mind to wrap around the news. After everything he had said to Eamon about being sent to the Chantry he was surprised the Arl would even bother with something like this. "He must have found it and repaired it. I don't know- I mean why he would do such a thing?"
"Maybe in all your 'youth rage' you forgot the fact that he truly cared about you." Kahlan supplied knowing that seemed the case. From what she could gather from Teagan sending Alistair away was Isolde's doing. Just another reason to detest the woman.
Alistair stroked a finger over the amulet, fighting back tears, "I guess you're right. We didn't talk to much." Also Isolde's doing, no doubt. "Then the way I left..." he trailed off.
Kahlan silently put her hand on his shoulder allowing him to take the time to recompose himself.
"Thank you." He looked up at her, emotions shinning freely on his face, "I mean it. I thought I lost this for forever. I'll need to talk to him about this when he recovers." They had returned with the ashes only hours ago and it seemed to be doing its job already. The healers and mages predicted that the Arl would be awake by tomorrow at the earliest.
"I know how it feels to lose the last piece of your family. Before Duncan helped me get out of Highever, my mother and father gave me their wedding rings. I wore it on a chain." Kahlan reached up as if it still hung around her neck causing a cloud of sadness to flood her eyes. "It was the only thing they could give me there was no time to take anything."
"What happened to it?"
"I don't know and that's what bothers me the most. I had it when we went up to light the beacon and when we woke up in the wilds it was gone." She had done her best to try to forget about it, to just bury it away like she did with her grief and pain. "I was surprised I found it to be honest."
"I wish I had this a long time ago." It would have been a small comfort to have those lonely nights in the chantry as a boy. "You actually remembered me talking about this?"
She almost looked offended, "Of course I remember. I remember everything you tell me."
"I'm not use to people listen to me when I go on about things." Trying to lighten up the mood he gently place the amulet on the table as he shifted his gaze to her beautiful face. "Is this where the music starts and we began dancing?" humor danced in his voice as she struggled not to laugh, "Because I'm game."
Before she knew what was happening, Alistair swept her up into his arms and into a simple two step dance. They moved like they did in battle. Perfectly in tune with each other so their movements were flawless and graceful. "But there's no music." She pointed out and much to her amusement he began to hum a tune. "We could always drag Leliana down here with her lute."
"And have her laugh at my inability to dance? No thank you."
"I don't know," They glided across the room without either of them stepping on each other's toes. "You seem to be doing well for yourself."
Alistair grinned, "That's only because I have a great partner." Ever so slowly he became aware of how close she was to him. This time there was no armor separating them so he could actually feel the curves of her body and the softness of her flesh. Heat, the same type of heat that always seemed to surround them, came sweeping in and halting them in their dance. Maker's breath he wanted her in ways he never wanted any one. The sudden rush of arousal had him fighting back a blush and struggling to keep his wits. "So all this time we spent together... you know: the tragedy, the brushes with death, the constant battle and the whole blight looming over us... will you miss it once it's over?
Kahlan thought for a long moment hoping that he would elaborate on what he meant. "Miss the constant battles?" She was all too well aware of his finger tips stroking the nape of her neck. It was sending shock waves through her body making it extremely hard to concentrate. "Or miss you?"
The ex-templar shifted trying to maintain some type of mental grip on the situation. Having her so close was intoxicating. "I know it might sound strange given the fact that we haven't known each other all the long but I've come to…" He trailed off searching for the right word, "To care a great deal about you. I think maybe because we've both gone through a great deal together. But I dunno maybe I'm imaging things." This could possibly be the case. Or maybe he was dreaming and this was the fade again. Or even better a spell or enchantment that Morrigan used on him to get back for all his witty remarks. "Or maybe I'm just fooling myself? Am I fooling myself? Or do you think you could ever feel the same way about me."
Ever? Maker, didn't he realize that she was already half in love with him already. She had tried and failed miserably to not think of him in that way, they had more pressing things to deal with. But she found as the days went on and they found themselves in more and more danger she learned that she shouldn't deny herself anything. Even this. Life could be over for them tomorrow, if she learned anything with her parents death it was that she should take up every opportunity when it presented itself. And being with Alistair, a man who truly cared for her was like a beacon of something beautiful in such a dark time. Just like the rose he had given her. "I Think." She closed her eyes feeling his breath hot on her cheek. "I already do."
"I fooled you did I." The wit came flooding from his mouth, a defense move but he could see the edge of a smile forming as he gently pressed her mouth to hers. It was short, still trying to convince himself that this was real. He brushed his lips over hers once, then twice, his fingers tangled in her hair like he had imagined so many times before. The next kiss had no trace of hesitance, only heat and need. With his mouth hot and demanding over hers, he held her close deathly afraid to let even a breath of air between them terrified even that would take here way.
Kahlan gripped his shoulders struggling for balance as her mouth moved furiously against hers. She was not a virgin when it came to kissing. Even had lost count how many time she participated in the act. Only none of them had ever been quite like this. Alistair's lips were firm and demanding as if he was trying to burn her taste into his very soul. She could taste his desire and want mixed in with his earthy male taste. Were kisses suppose to so arousing? Were they suppose to make a person's head spin as if it might just roll of the shoulders? "I-." Very reluctantly, she drew away pulling air hard into her lungs. "We need to stop dancing."
A slow and easy smile lit up his face, his eyes dark with desire. "We have."
"Andraste's Flaming sword, I thought you never-."
"I'm a virgin, Kahlan not a saint." He brushed a fallen strand of hair from her flustered face his lips teasing hers with a few more small kisses. "Maker's breath you're beautiful."
This time Kahlan laughed easing some of the hot coils in her stomach, "I'm back to beautiful?"
"Well you know it's the least I could do after you called me handsome."
"I never said that. I said I was going to-." The rest of her words were muffled against his mouth and that was just find with her. Kahlan found she could spend a life time just doing this. The man could turn her brain inside out making her forget every nagging concern, fear, and doubt and just make her simply feel without thinking.
"That." Alistair rested his brow against hers, "wasn't too soon was it?"
"I don't think so."
"Good. Now I think this is where I'll be a gentlemen and suggest that you go to bed while I kick myself for saying such a thing." Maker knew he wanted her, but he wanted things to be right and perfect for her. Plus he needed to time alone to get his body to settle down. There was no way in hell he was going to walk around the castle with a very noticeable bulge.
And that was why Kahlan found herself falling in love with him. "I think you're right, I mean I wouldn't want Isolde or Tegann to see us in such a position. Just think what it will do to you reputation, Ser prince. Kissing a woman before your married, just think of the scandal."
Laughing, he forced himself to step away from her, "Don't tempt me to spread around such things. Maybe then everyone will stop their going ons about me taking the throne. Good night, my lovely warden."
"Good night handsome prince."
Yes no maybe? I hope you liked it and stay tune for the next one. I might think about taking all these down and putting them all together under one collection so they're read in order. Does that sound like a good or bad idea?
