It was cold and the dark room felt so big, so very big and empty. The only light was coming from the hallway outside. She sat back with her head resting against the wall. That was cold too, it sent a shiver down her spine. Each breath seemed to be harder to grasp then the one before, her chest ached like her heart. She had lost all concept of time and didn't know how long she had been locked away in that cell of a room. He mind was blank, but that's how she liked it. She could feel no pain that way. This never lasted for long though because a thought would always float into her mind eventually, all she had to do was wait. And there it was:* He looked so scared, so afraid. His body leaking the fluid that bought him life. His uniform was stained from the open wounds. He was still holding his stunner in his hand, but he was losing his grasp and it clattered to the ground. This was not heard over the commotion that was taking place in the gate room. Doctor Beckett was shouting orders to the other medics while he inspected the damage, the rest of the away team were bruised and battered trying to explain exactly what had happened and Dr Weir was struggling to get to Sheppard, just one glimpse. *
She opened her eyes to be surrounding by the familiar sight of the dull living quarters. The light in the corridor was still on but no one had passed through the corridor for hours. She forced herself up and wandered to the bathroom. Splashing cool water onto her face, she thought it might wash away the vivid memories. Looking in the mirror she saw what this had really done to her. The lines on her face were deeper and her eyes were no longer full of anticipation and wonder. Walking back to sit on the bed her head exploded with another flashback:* Weir was running down the corridor after Beckett and the trolley carrying the body of Col. Sheppard. Why did the infirmary seem so far? Beckett rushed into the room and began switching on machines to connect to the Col. As he removed the Col.'s jacket the damage was clear to see. Three separate shot wounds pierced his chest, his shirt was no longer black but crimson in colour. Beckett cut this away to reveal the puncher holes. The wounds were deep and Beckett shock his head. Weir looked up at him with questioning eyes.
"We need to get this man prepped for theatre."
The Col. was wheeled out of the room and down the corridor. As Beckett followed his team Weir walked up the staircase outside to watch from the observation room.*Resting on the bed she felt her body ease, even only slightly. She was so tired yet she didn't want to close her eyes. She didn't want to live the nightmare again. She began to feel colder and her body was so tired it was no longer keeping her warm. As the minutes ticked by she could feel her eyes lids getting heavy and she began to fall asleep.*Beckett had been working for almost an hour now and had one last bullet to remove. He was doing so well, but the look on his face said that this was going to be difficult. Weir had been watching attentively through the glass panel, holding onto the rail for support. She had barely blinked, not wanting to miss a second. Beckett looked up to her and she could tell from the look in his eyes that they needed a miracle. He turned back to the Col. and began one last time. Minutes ticked by and not once did the doctor's concentration slip. He continued to work as though his own life depended on it. Then it began, the beeping of the machines, the red flashing lights and the commotion all over again. Beckett was ordering his staff to get equipment and drugs while others were ordered to start CPR. Two minutes later and they were still working manically on the Col. Beckett took over from the nurse performing CPR. He was still continuing to give orders and the staff responded. Eventually however one by one they began to stop. They stood still watching over the doctor not wanting to give up hope. Weir was clinging to the rail with what little energy she had left. Then Beckett stopped, he collapsed onto the floor as one of the nurses stepped in to switch off the machines. The look on his face would haunt the staff in that room forever. He managed to peel off his gloves, covered in the Col.'s blood. As Beckett fell as did Elizabeth, the railing no longer able to hold her. She screamed, tears streaming down her face as she slammed her fists against the glass panel. She stared down at his body. His arms by his side as the blood continued to trickle from the last open wound. His eyes were now closed, his face looked so peaceful at last. She heard a noise from behind her, McKay walked into the room and helped her up. With his arms around her he supported her through the doorway. She looked up at him and whispered:
"Take me to Sheppard"
McKay began:
"I don't think that…"
"Take me, please"
He nodded as he guided her down the hall. Beckett was walking out of the room as Elizabeth arrived:
"I don't think.."
He began, but the look in her eyes silenced him.
She walked towards the table. McKay was now standing behind her, waiting for her until she was ready. She reached for the Col.'s hand, it was already beginning to get cold. She ran her other hand through his hair. She had always loved his hair, the way it always looked as though he hadn't bothered to comb it. Her hand ran down the side of his face to his cheek. She began to cry again, unable to control the tears any longer. She rested her head against his chest, the blood was now dry. McKay wanted to step in but he held back. She cried like this for several minutes until she finally looked up at his face again. She forced a smile trying to remember what he was like just hours ago. She bent down to kiss him on the forehead. His scent waking her senses, his smell she would remember forever. The scent she never got to smell on her own body. At this sudden awakening of senses she felt dizzy. Stumbling backwards McKay caught her before she hit the ground. Holding her close he walked her out of the room and away from the Col. He took her to her quarters, resting her down on the bed she closed her eyes.*That was the last she had seen of him. She switched off her radio and locked the doors to her quarters. He came by so often, even Teyla and Beckett tried to get her to come out and talk, but she wasn't ready and she didn't know if she ever would be. The pain was still so intense, it hurt to breathe knowing that with every breath he was not with her.
She woke with a start, sitting up the sweat ran down her face. Her heavy breathing resounded of the walls. She climbed out of bed and walked to the bathroom. The cool water woke her slightly and cooled her down. She didn't switch on any lights and so she stumbled back into the bedroom. When she slipped back under the covers she felt that she wasn't alone. Turning over she saw his face smiling at her. She gasped, blinking several times she tried to make sure it wasn't a dream. He lifted his hand to her face. Running his fingers down her cheek she closed her eyes, giving in to the thought that he was with her."Everything will be O.K."
He whispered the words to her:"Know that I am watching over you."
He leaned in to kiss her. The taste of him was so needed by her that she wanted more. She moved in to kiss him deeper but he was gone. Opening her eyes she stared into the dark. She wanted to scream out to him, but instead she smiled:He was watching over her.
