A/N: I got the idea for this when I found out that there was a Swedish folk song about a troll falling in love with a human male.
Apparently in the nineteenth century, Norwegians were stereotyped within Scandinavia as being rural and simple-minded, while Swedes were seen as rich and arrogant.
One spring morning in 1845, Sweden was alerted by a messenger that the new king had requested his presence. After being given some rough directions, the personification made his way to where his boss was supposedly waiting.
As he walked the corridors, he concluded from recent events that the king most likely wished to speak about matters concerning Norway.
His prediction proved to be correct when he was asked to pay a friendly visit to the other nation, for the sake of maintaining their relationship. He then feigned confidence before his boss, despite his own doubts and the king ended the meeting by giving him a pat on the back.
Sweden left the room hastily and retraced his steps, while also trying to figure out what the monarch saw in Norway that made him adopt such a liberal approach to such a rural nation.
A brief mental image of his neighbour dressed in worn clothing while living on dried fish filled him with amusement, though he dared not show it.
"Do you ever feel like everyday is the same, Mr Troll?" Norway asked dully as he stared at the flat piece of bread and meagre lump of butter in front of him.
The troll nodded in agreement while Norway munched on his bread and butter wearily.
"That new flag Sweden showed me last year was hideous. If I ever get to be independent again, getting rid of it shall be the first thing I do. Then, perhaps, I'll find a way to get rich and have all the butter I want."
A few incomprehensible words uttered by the troll made Norway feel mildly embarrassed for a few moments.
"I'd get fat and girls wouldn't like me? Well, why should I care what they think?" He retorted, once his thoughts had cleared.
The troll grunted impatiently and Norway sighed in annoyance.
"What is it now, Mr Troll? Trying to be all motherly again...oh..."
Norway paused as if he were trying to hear some distant noise, before standing up abruptly and slamming his chair against the table.
"Sweden is coming, we need to get tidy this place now!"
A pair of birds fluttered around a branch together, pecking each other affectionately as Sweden observed them in the Norwegian countryside.
"Spring is undoubtedly here..." He thought to himself when he saw the flowers that were blooming all around.
The Swede followed the same path he'd taken the year before and came across several more signs of the season along the way. It was almost as if nature was trying to send him an urgent message this time, but it couldn't be anything more than a coincidence, if he went by his own common sense.
After witnessing two horses mating and seeing a young man propose to his lover in the most sickeningly sweet manner, Sweden felt an overwhelming heaviness in his stomach, as if he had just eaten a large meal and had no room for anything else.
Such a feeling gave way to memories of his former territory Finland, whom he still deeply missed and doubted would ever truly be replaced in his heart.
He eventually reached the small wooden house by the forest and lake, straightening himself up before knocking firmly on the door.
Norway was in the middle of scrubbing the floor when he heard the knocking. He stood up in a panic and slid the bucket into a corner with his foot, tossing the rag aside as he did so.
He opened the door for Sweden and stepped aside to let the taller man pass through. He did his best to stay calm as the latter seemed to be inspecting the cleanliness of their surroundings.
"Do you have anything to drink?" Sweden turned to Norway once he appeared to have been satisfied by the state of the house.
"Not really. Well, not right now."
"Then we should just talk..."
They sat down at the table, afraid to look directly at each other and made futile attempts to converse.
"What's it like being a farmer...?"
"I'm not one." Norway answered sharply.
"Oh."
Sweden apologised for the mistake and got up self-consciously. He looked around the room and saw a large book lying on a bench by the fireplace. Without realising what he was doing, he walked over and picked it up despite the protests of his host.
"Put it down now!" Norway shouted a little too late as his guest opened the book and started to read.
Unfortunately, Sweden was fairly interested in whatever page he had come across, which happened to be about ways to summon mountain trolls.
Norway's hand grabbing his arm was what prevented him from reading any further and he dropped the book to the floor when the former squeezed too hard.
"No one should read it but me!" Norway snapped, retrieving the book from the floor and disappearing into his bedroom.
Night came and Sweden felt confusion at where all the time had gone, as he had originally planned to leave after a couple of hours. Nevertheless, Norway seemed hospitable enough, so he convinced himself that staying overnight wouldn't do much harm.
His sense of control began to fade however, when Norway revealed his own plans for the evening.
"Sorry Sweden, but there's only one bed here. You'll have to sleep on the floor." His host explained when he followed them into the bedroom.
Sweden swallowed as he gazed at the empty spot at the base of Norway's bed. It was hardly what he had grown used to over the years, but he decided to go along with the arrangement for the sake of good relations, as his boss had told him.
Soon he was lying on the hard floor in discomfort and struggling to fall asleep. He glanced at Norway, whom was resting peacefully beneath the sheets, before rolling over to face the wall.
The exhaustion from staying awake for so long eventually overcame him and he fell asleep just as the sun began to rise outside.
Sweden awoke some hours later and sat up abruptly to find that he was alone in the room. As if his sleepless night were not enough, a worrying dream was plaguing his mind even in broad daylight.
He remembered feeling as if he was being watched by an intangible presence wherever he went and being unable to shake off his resulting anxiety.
Dismissing the dream as simply his imagination, he stood up to put on his coat and trousers before entering the main room to see what Norway was up to.
To his shock, Norway dropped a plate to the floor as soon as he saw him. He froze where he was, wandering if there was something wrong with him for his host to have reacted in such a way.
"Sweden, there's something behind you."
Sweden spun around to see that there he was in fact alone and turned back to Norway in annoyance.
"There's nothing."
"Yes, there is. You just can't see it."
Shortly after, Sweden felt something heavy rub against his arm and twitched uneasily. He looked over his own shoulder and thought he could see the faint outline of some strange creature.
"Show yourself. You're making him nervous." Norway commanded unflinchingly when Sweden glanced at him with uncertainty.
The invisible entity materialised and revealed it's presence to Sweden and he put his hand to his mouth, gagging at it's grotesque appearance.
"Your troll friend?" He managed to mutter after taking a step away from the creature.
"No. That one's a female, if you can't tell. I don't know how she got in..."
"Tell it to go away."
"I'm afraid I can't."
"Why not?"
"You attracted her. It's going to be hard to separate you two now."
"What do you mean?!"
"You'll find out soon."
Sweden stood still in disbelief as the troll floated around him in circles a few times before stopping to caress it's face against his. He screamed and tried to shove the creature away, but to little avail.
"What do I do?" Sweden moaned in desperation as he placed his head in his hands, unaware of the amused smile now planted on his host's face.
Norway once again assumed his usual dull expression when Sweden looked up at him however and quickly thought of some advice that would sound practical.
"If you want to get rid of her, you'll have to find her a more suitable mate."
"Suitable mate?"
"She tells me that you have quite a pleasant voice for a human."
The she-troll winked at Sweden as if to confirm Norway's statement. He lowered his head in grief, unable to bear all that had happened in the past day.
"If it makes you feel better, I could find a male troll for her. But not my friend, of course. He likes being single."
The troll frowned at Norway upon hearing his words and he made a rude hand gesture in return. She floated closer to Sweden's side in defiance.
"So what do I do?" Sweden asked nervously, shifting an inch away from the troll.
"You stay here and keep her company while I go and find a good, Norwegian troll."
"Norwegian?"
"That one next to you is Swedish, if you didn't realise. Anyway, my friend will watch over you both while I'm gone." Norway rolled his eyes, before walking outside to embark on his mission.
Sweden could only sit in confusion and try to ignore the obscene way in which the troll was staring at him. This soon proved to be impossible when it began to speak to him in it's deep, guttural voice, that contained not a single trace of femininity.
"You and that boy different from other humans, but I think you are more handsome..."
He shuddered and hoped that Norway's so-called invisible friend would do something soon.
Norway returned a few hours later in high spirits at being successful in his search. Nevertheless, he feigned seriousness upon entering his home and came across a surreal sight.
Sweden had long since shut himself inside the bedroom in terror and the she-troll was now attempting to lure him out with increasingly grand bribes. Meanwhile, Mr Troll was lounging in a corner letting it all unfold.
"I thought I told you to keep them out of trouble..." Norway sighed in exhaustion, as he knelt down to wash his soiled hands in the bucket he'd abandoned the previous night.
"Come out now, and I shall give you a hundred chests of gold!" The troll bellowed, banging it's fists against the door erratically.
"Never!"
"How about all of the finest horses in the world?!"
Norway knew it was time for him to intervene and stood up. He took a stride forward and cleared his throat, before loudly calling the troll's name.
It turned it's head towards him and stared menacingly with it's large yellow eyes, only to be distracted by the male troll behind him.
There was moment of silence as the two trolls sized each other up. Norway uttered a prayer in his mind while Sweden breathed deeply in relief behind the door.
After a torturous minute for all involved, the pair of trolls seemed satisfied with the arrangement and made their way out of the house together, the female briefly looking back to say something incomprehensible to Norway.
He nodded to show his understanding and turned around to see Sweden emerging from his hiding place, looking incredibly pale.
"Is she gone?"
"Yes, it's all over now."
"I guess I should be leaving now. I've caused you much trouble...how did you do it?"
"Gold digger."
"Pardon?"
"She was mostly after wealth and that one happened to own a lot of gold. Apparently, trolls from your place are too shabby for her liking."
"Well, this is all news for me..."
Sweden was gone from the house and back on the road before evening came. Norway was glad to be alone once again and had a very quick dinner before going to bed early.
He was asleep within minutes, dreaming of mountains of gold.
