This is my first story, first post, first lots of things. Let me know what you think! - This follows the Gossip Girl tv show rather than the books as a warning. I tried to keep the characters as true as possible! Also the OC has the same name as a Grey's Anatomy character, no relations or crossover I just love the name a lot.
I was mad at myself. There I admit it. I shared the blame partially. Maybe totally. In my defense though, he should have been there for me. We had a plan. We had a spreadsheet. He made a spreadsheet. Yet, here I was. Lonely and crying. Being the image of a girl he would have been so disappointed in. I knew my make-up was slipping down the streams of my tears. I knew that the Vera Wang dress I was wearing was getting soaked from the rain. I knew that my new pumps were now sinking fast in the mud next to his grave site. Why didn't anybody see me sinking too?
"Ohhh, Addy!" came a voice that was way too cheerful for the morning. It could have been two miles away or right next to my ear, either way the sound was unwelcome. I moaned in response. "Addison, it's time for Bergdorf's and bagels!"
I turned over in the down comforter where I had spent the last week trying to disappear. I mumbled back some kind of response. To be honest, I'm not sure what I was even trying to say, not that it would have mattered. Blair knew the tone I was using.
"I am not letting you spend another day wasting away to nothing. I will have Dorota come in here and remove your sheets. Don't test me, Montgomery." Blair clipped. I could imagine her throwing her dark locks over her shoulder as I heard my door slam shut. That was usually my fifteen minute warning.
I groaned again, painfully and pathetically to myself. With all the willpower I had left, I threw the covering off my body. Stifling the dramatic urge to shiver, I rolled, gracefully I might add, to the plush carpet floor. At least I was out of bed.
Blair came charging in for round two, all five foot three of her blazed in frustration. "Addison Isabelle Montgomery, get your depressed ass off of the floor. Dorota didn't have time to vacuum this morning and who knows what crumbs you have been accumulating in your ivory tower."
I pushed myself up when I realized she was probably right. I hadn't taken a meal outside these four walls in days. I waved her away, a decision I immediately regretted, "I'm going, I'm going."
She scoffed as I made my way to the shared bathroom, "I'm letting you have a free pass because of the whole 'you being in a hard place in your life' thing, but I will have no more attitude from you for the next twenty four hours!"
I could hear Blair's distinctive voice echoing from the halls even through the pounding of the water on my body. The shower felt nice, I did owe her some credit there. It was like a temporary fresh start.
I was pulling out some summer dresses in order to pretend to participate in Blair's planned cheer-up Addy parade, when she entered my room for a third time with a solemn look on her face.
"What happened? Did I take too long and we missed the sale at Barney's?" See I could act normal and even pull a joke or two. I glanced away from the outfit I had laid out when Blair made no response to my snide comment. "B?"
"It's Serena," she almost whispered. "I...I know why she wasn't at the funeral." I stared at Blair expectantly, thankful there was something else to focus on. "She's gone."
"Gone?" I repeated. "What do you mean gone? How is someone just gone? Blair what do you mean?" I asked urgently, grabbing her shoulders trying to force her eyes on me.
"She is in Connecticut. At boarding school. And she's not coming back."
_one year later_
I adjusted my plaid skirt as I stepped out of the girls' bathroom, wiping the corners of my lips as I did so. As if there wasn't enough pressure to keep myself together, I had to face Blair and what was sure to be the tornado of stress she had summoned.
"So can I call you?" the blonde from St. Jude's asked as he tightened his tie. As if that was going to compose any dignity he could have after coming out of a girls lavatory.
"Not gonna happen, Doug," I muttered as I shifted my shoulder bag and headed down the hall. I was already five minutes late to biology and Mr. Matthews was on his last nerve with me, even if I was acing his class.
"It's Mike, actually," the boy stammered. "Well you know where to find me!" His voice was annoyingly loud. I didn't bother to turn around before crashing into room 105.
"Ah! And here she is! Right on time, five minutes behind everyone else. How are we today, Ms. Montgomery?" Mr. Matthews was an older man with kind eyes. He was the kind of guy that taught his sons tee ball, and spent long weekends upstate.
I threw my bag down on the seat next to an attractive boy with brown hair, "Always good, Mr. M, but you knew that already." I sent him one of the smiles that had gotten me out of extreme amounts of trouble. Saved for special occasions, of course. "I see we're doing the mudpuppies today, sir?"
I could have sworn he blushed before letting me be. I turned to grab surgical gloves and a scalpel, ignoring my lab partner completely. "Too busy charming innocent boys to throw a greeting my way, Red?"
I shot a tight smile to the snake who had graced me with his lovely presence that lab day. He usually was smoking a joint in the courtyard, flirting fondly with the rules of the school. "Charles Bass." I could almost feel my breakfast start to leave my stomach. "It looks like you've left naive freshman to their own devices this year. Oh no, I must be mistaken because I'm so sure I saw Lilith Henning leaving the free clinic two weeks ago. The night after Issy's pool party. The night after she was seen leaving with you." I delivered a perfect three inch incision right down the center of the lizard. "Good thing most of your diseases are treatable, am I right?" I stabbed a pin through the skin I had pulled back to get a better look at the inside of the creature. I flashed him another smile.
"My skills in the bedroom are infectious, what can I say?" he purred, trying remove the blade from my hand.
I had known Chuck Bass nearly all my life. He was sweet, innocent, and lovable until puberty. Hormones paired with his growing daddy issues had turned him into one of the biggest horndogs on the planet. With a disposable income and a hotel chain under his belt, he essentially got everything he wanted. And he loved his vices. He was a manipulator, a liar, and a jerk, but I had to love him all the same. He did pinch Becca Prinkly in fifth grade when she stole my pencil case.
"You're gross," I offered to him as I refocused my attention on dissecting the animal on the table.
"Sweetheart, you have no idea."
I said goodbye to Chuck after bio as I crossed the courtyard, headed to what I was sure was my death. Blair had been planning the most perfect party for the start of our Junior year pretty much all summer. It was to be black and white themed to welcome us all to the world of class we were meant to mature into this year. If the things on Gossip Girl were meant to be true, there was no semblance of class left in our area of Manhattan.
"No I told the caterers to be there by 6 o'clock, not 7. We will be moving on to cocktail hour by 7!" Blair was whipping her long locks over her shoulders as she paced angrily over the brick pathway. Her voice jumped three octaves as the party planner delivered news Blair very clearly did not want to hear.
"How is this going?" I asked Kati as she fawned over Blair's every movement. Her dark eyes followed Blair like a tennis match.
Kati snapped her attention to me as my voice reached her ears, "Oh, Addy! I didn't see you. Apparently the caterers had the wrong time for the dinner and now Blair is losing her patience. It just seems ridiculous that they employ such careless workers. They did the banquet at the White House last month."
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Blair would have only the best for this party. She was my other half, but sometimes I wondered how we meshed so well together. At that moment Blair motioned subtly for me to fix my scarf to cover the evidence of my morning with the blonde boy as she told the head chef where to shove it.
"Alright, well a full course meal is out for the party, but who needs the extra calories anyway?" She snapped her phone shut and shoved it in her new Coach bag. "Kati," Blair chirped. The minion snapped to attention. "Go inform the lessers that the party will be pushed back an hour."
Kati was quick to make a dash to the busy halls of the school and tell the masses. She was better than a town crier.
"Had another...appointment this morning, A?" Blair pressed her lips together as she gestured to my neck.
I sighed, "Had to get it out of my system so I could behave for the party of the year, of course."
She shot me a wary look, but let the subject go, "Fair enough. Did you finally settle on that dress from Bendyl's? The party is tonight and I think it would be best if we represent the yin and yang of this theme."
"Absolutely. I'm picking it up after lunch," I assured her as I closed my eyes letting my skin soak up the last of the summer sun. Fall would be on us much too soon. "You need to send it, B."
I could sense the tension in Blair's body from my mention of the unmentionable. "I'm not having this conversation again, Addy." Blair let out a quick breath. "I have more important things to...I mean with the caterer...I'll see you at home."
I snapped my eyes open, "No, come on, I'm sorry. It's just you need her to hear you out. It couldn't hurt if you just slipped the letter in the pretty blue mailbox-"
"Enough." Blair held a manicured hand up. "I will do it when I'm ready. It's been a year, A. I can give up if I want to." I bowed my head in defeat. "Anyway. I'm headed home to see if the decorators are as inadequate as the caterer. Don't forget to pick up your dress. I'll see you at home."
And just like that I was left alone in the courtyard, needing another dose of emotionless kissing to distract from the thoughts in my head. "Hey, Jackson!"
My afternoon was a whirlwind of running from store to store, desperately trying to put the rest of my outfit together before heading home. If Blair had any idea how much I had left to do she would have killed me. But just as it usually works out, I was slipped into my faux leather dress and gold heels before Blair had even been zipped into her white, lace gown.
I touched the small braid that was entangled into my ponytail as I casually trotted into Blair's room. "And look who has time to spare?" I sang, falling onto her bed. She scoffed at me as she threw a ring back into her jewelry box.
"You also aren't one that is trying desperately to seal the deal with her boyfriend," she muttered, glaring at another fabulous diamond on her hand. "I really don't understand what is so difficult about this. I have planned nearly ten scenarios, all which he has somehow ruined or avoided at the worst possible moment."
"Maybe it's not supposed to be a perfect plan," I suggested. "Maybe it's supposed to be passionate, intense, and chaotic. Like you lock eyes across the room, and you feel this magnetic pull towards each other. At that point you just know, it's going to happen. And it'll be awkward and weird at first, but then it just is this emotional experience that takes over every sense you have," I sat up as I noted the silent response from my audience. Blair was staring at me from her mirror as she held up a pair of earrings. "Or something, I don't know. We're going to be late to our own party, so put on those earrings, and I'll meet you downstairs."
Blair's deep brown doe eyes haunted me as I escaped her room and my embarrassment. I clearly have been listening to too many love songs lately. With a secret vow never to fall asleep to Taylor Swift again, I made my way downstairs to help with the last details.
It didn't take long for the beautiful penthouse to be filled with the social elite that inhabited our lovely island of New York. Nearly every one had shown as was expected of a Waldorf-Montgomery hosted party. To be honest, it was mostly Waldorf with a touch of Montgomery.
"Now, now, Addison, I thought we were taught in grade school that biting was intolerable," Chuck's index finger grazed my neck that was still slightly sore from my excursion. Damn that stupid Greg...or Doug...Matt?
I narrowed my eyes as Chuck gracefully fell into the seat next to me, his eyes wandering from my head to my heels. His eyes widened almost imperceptibly, but I had known Chuck for far too long. "Tread carefully, Bass," I warned, suddenly feeling self-conscious. "You're looking at someone who knows better." My voice was confident, but I felt myself sit a bit straighter despite my better judgment.
Chuck smirked, "It's inevitable, Montgomery. You and I, we're two people who know what they want and take it. It isn't long before we grow bored with everyone else."
I rolled my eyes, snatching a martini from one of the waiters traveling by, "Please. Chuck, the only way I end up in a bed with you is if someone slipped me very powerful drugs. And no, that is not meant to be a proposition for you."
Chuck swallowed what I'm sure was a disgustingly suggestive comment as Nate joined us on the couches. "Have either one of you seen Blair?" He asked halfheartedly.
"You would think for someone about to have the 'most special' night of his life, you'd be more excited to find your girlfriend," I questioned, avoiding Chuck's stare. Usually our banter and his obvious come ons were easy conversation, today I was getting too ruffled. Definitely no more Taylor Swift before bed.
Nate sighed, running a hand through his perfect tousled hair, "You would think." The phrase was mostly under his breath, and I was suddenly on full alert.
"Nate, is there something wrong?" I asked, temporarily forgetting the way Chuck was watching me.
He sighed again, "I-"
"Serena?" Kati squealed, her voice cutting through every conversation in the sitting room.
My head whipped around and it only took a quick glance of blonde hair for me to match the squeal to the truth. She was standing shyly at the elevator doors, bag in hand. Her casual high-waisted shorts and blazer combination would have sent Blair reeling. Blair! I searched the newly forming crowd to find her familiar face. She locked eyes with me. She had no idea this was happening. Was this even happening? What was even happening?
I felt a warm hand on the small of my back as I stood up, heading to the familiar phantom. I glanced back to see a smirking Chuck.
"Well it's official. Serena Van Der Woodsen is back."
