The only light in the room was seeping under the door from the bathroom. I left that light on intentionally; I hadn't much enjoyed the darkness since my term as the Dark One. When you don't sleep, you get used to the dark. Its silence becomes appealing, enveloping you so the darkness feels like home. Shuddering, I push those thoughts from my head. It's 4:39 A.M. and I still have yet to fall into the tempting sleep that my body craves. Every time I get into the near-sleep state, my mind wanders to places that my heart can't bear to go: Henry running away, Killian's face as he kissed my hands goodbye, my parents being separated because of my choices, and Robin's funeral…
The last one was the worst memory. It was the one that hadn't been fixed, that couldn't be fixed. I wondered what Regina was doing right now. After our adventure in New York we had all gone to Granny's for dinner, but she had slipped out quickly and no one had heard from her since. I understood, however. It seems silly to be celebrating our success in New York and against the Evil Queen and Hyde when the loss of Robin was still so fresh.
I turned my head and looked at the body sleeping peacefully next to me. I held my breath for a moment, until I could hear Killian's steady breathing to reassure my skeptical heart that he was still there and alive. His breathing filled my own lungs with faith, and I resumed breathing. My heart stung as I contemplated the thought of his death. I wish I could just erase the memories of him ever not living so I don't have to think about what I lost. I reached my hand out and ran it gently through his hair, causing him to shift a little in his sleep, a pleasant look on his face. I smiled, and tried to push the thought of his death out of my mind, and instead focus on his breathing. He was alive. My true love was alive.
It almost made me chuckle, really. The thought that I had a true love in this twisted reality I live in. And that my true love was none other than Captain Hook. When I think of true love, I think of the iconic stories like that of my parents, not my own misadventures with this one-handed man. Sighing, I wondered idly what this even meant for us. We had barely had time to discuss it given the chaos that the day had held. Just hours ago, he had been in another realm. I closed my eyes and tried to wrap my brain around that. I had been in this fairy tale reality for so long, that it had almost become normal to me, until the times like now where I actually think about the weight of my words and it all sounds so crazy.
Killian turned in his sleep, stirring slightly and I saw his ice blue eyes open a slight crack and look at me. "Still awake?" He mumbled, sighing as he opened his eyes the rest of the way. "Emma, you need to sleep." He reached out and pulled me down into the bed, wrapping his arms tightly around me. "It's okay to sleep. Nothing is going to happen. Henry is in his room, your parents are home with Neal, and I'm here with you. And everyone wants you to sleep."
"I know." I whisper, not wanting to tell him about my thoughts that I'd been trying, unsuccessfully, to shut out for hours. "You're right." I close my eyes, and concentrate on his heartbeat, steadily beating slowly as he fell back into his rhythmic breathing as sleep overtook him. I keep my eyes closed, determined to sleep.
When the morning sun woke me, as it seeped through the windows, I welcomed it. While I had finally fallen asleep, it wasn't without the nightmares that always accompany it. I wondered if that would ever stop, but I didn't dwell on them. Today was a new day, without a new threat, and I wanted to enjoy it.
Killian, the epitome of a sailor, had risen before me, and I could hear him downstairs fumbling in the kitchen. With a smile on my face, I quickly dressed and went downstairs to find out what mess he had gotten himself into.
It didn't take long to find out. This morning his battle was with the toaster oven, a contraption that was "a mysterious piece of metal" according to the mumbling pirate who was trying to not burn toast.
"If you have it on the darkest setting it's gonna burn every time!" Henry instructed. He was standing next to Killian, and he turned down the dial and tossed the burned toast in the trash.
"Why is there a setting that dooms you to fail every time you use the bloody thing?" Killian questioned, looking up at me with a grimace.
I shrugged. "To test the intelligence of those who use it. A test you have clearly failed."
Henry laughed and pulled out the freshly toasted pieces, and gave one to Killian, keeping the other for himself. "What's the plan for today, mom?" He asked, his mouth full of toast. "Back to the sheriff's office?"
I sighed. Going back to work seemed so strange after everything we had been through. "I suppose I should go by and see what's been going on in this crazy town." I say, idly wondering what my parents would be doing today. "What are you going to do, Henry?"
"I have school, duh!" He says as if this should be obvious. School. I blink at him in surprise as he happily leaps up and runs up to his room to gather his belongings. After all we've been through, today is just another day for the kid. Inspired by this, I look at Killian.
"As for you," I begin, "I am not letting you leave my side today. I've spent too many days not seeing you, so you're coming to work with me."
He smiled, coming over to invade my personal space the way I had grown to love so much. "Bring your pirate to work day?" He asked, reaching out and running a hand through my hair.
I lean in, breathing in his musky smell. "Something like that. Maybe if it gets slow we can slip into an interrogation room or something." I winked at him, before following Henry up the stairs to retrieve my keys and phone.
Today was day one of life after the hell we had been through. It was a new day, a fresh start, and I was more determined than ever to live the crazy life I had been given.
