Supernatural Fan Fiction: "Seeking Pardon"

Story by: Lizaredlion

Characters: Dean/Castiel (pairing), Sam, Bobby, Claire Novak, Meg, Inias, Crowley and several other characters.

Spoilers: SPN season 6—season 7, alternative reality.

Genre: Angst, Romance, Adventure

Rating: NC-17 / M

General Summary

After Castiel returned the souls of Purgatory to it's rightful place something terrible stayed inside him and then it escapes from his body, becoming a dangerous threat to the world. Castiel will be again in Team Free Will to end this threat, and also the angel will seek the forgiveness of his friends for the mistakes he did.

Warnings: Graphic violence, explicit sex scenes, language

Disclaimer: None of these characters, except the original ones, are mine; they remain the property of their owners. I'm just borrowing them to have a little fun and make an incredible written adventure.

No copyright infringement is intended.

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Chapter 1: PROLOGUE

Bootback, Kansas, USA

May 20, 2011

In the middle of the place that used to be one of the many lairs of the demon and king of Hell Crowley, the angel Castiel fell to the floor unceremoniously.

After returning all the souls from Purgatory that he ate, the blue-eyed celestial couldn't keep himself on his feet. He was already too fragile before throwing the monster souls back into their rightful place, so now this procedure had done something worst than just weakening him. It was causing an unbearable pain to his grace and body. Castiel stayed in the floor and for one moment he thought he was seeing all the wrong things he had done since he started to work with the king of Hades until he opened Purgatory's door and sucked all the power of the souls into himself and claimed he was the "new god", only to end up bloody on the floor of Crowley's lair, dying and trembling, in a lot of pain.

-Cas! –Dean Winchester exclaimed, calling the quivering angel on the ground. The voice and face of the blonde and green-eyed young man were full of concern. In a few seconds, the hunter and his father-figure and friend Bobby Singer were close to Castiel to check over him.

At that same time, the tall and dark-haired younger brother of Dean, Sam Winchester, was in the room with them too. He was sick and a little dazed due to the fact that not long before Cass had proclaimed himself as the "new god" he broke the protective wall in Sam's brain which was put there to shield the young Winchester from his awful memories when he was in Hell being tortured by his inmates, the archangels Michael and Lucifer.

However, when Sam saw Castiel's body on the floor he couldn't avoid being worried about the fallen angel. Sam knew his celestial friend had tried to redeem himself for his mistakes.

Castiel was curling in fetal position, shaking and moaning with pain and desperation. And then Dean saw it first: Cas was bleeding profusely from every orifice of his vessel.

-Oh, my God. –said Bobby, with a terrified low voice –What's wrong with him?

-I don't know, Bobby. –whispered Dean, trying to put Castiel on his back with Sam's and Bobby's help. Cas was resisting at first, but at the end he couldn't fight the strength of the three hunters in his current state.

-Please… please, make it stop! –pleaded Castiel, with broken voice and his face filled with pain –It hurts! It hurts a lot! Please… make it go away!

-Cas, what's wrong? –asked the blonde hunter, putting his hand on the angel's shoulder –Tell me what's going, buddy.

-It…it hurts, Dean. –replied Castiel in a whisper –It's eating… my insides.

-What can we do to help you, Cas? Tell me!

-I don't k-know… I… don't know, Dean… I t-think… I think I'm d-dying.

-No, Cas. You're not going to die, you hear me? You're not going to die, not on my watch, buddy!

-I'm… I'm s-sorry, Dean.

Castiel rolled his eyes to the back of his head and then his body started to convulse. It was a wild and violent movement. The hunters had to hold the angel down while they all could hear the creepy sounds of flesh and bones breaking inside Cas's body. The bleeding got worst, and an intense white light was now visible in his eyes, nose, ears and mouth.

And then it happened: Castiel's body stopped moving and a brownish thick fog emerged from the angel's orifices of his head, drowning the white light completely. The fog was alive and it was moving slowly around the celestial, absorbing his blood into itself. The angel was whimpering but he couldn't move his own body. His cheeks were wet with his own vital red fluids and tears of pain. Castiel didn't know what was happening to him, but it scared him to death. And in the middle of that anxiety, the helpless creature could only think in just one name:

"Dean"

He wanted to scream that name, to call his best friend's attention, to tell him the secret about his feelings. He wanted Dean to save him from the obscurity of that evil fog that was sucking his blood dry.

-What the hell is that thing? –asked Dean, with surprise and terror in his eyes.

-It looks like a… a living dark mist. –whispered Sam, his voice trembling with fear.

-Cas' blood… that fucking thing is drinking his blood!

-I don't know guys. –said Bobby, who was terrified just like his two boys –But I think we gotta move away from it.

-Yes, Bobby, I think we have to…

Dean couldn't finish his sentence, because the brown fog threw itself over the three hunters, flying them all across the room until they fell violently on the floor. Then the fog was in front of the trio, and it took the shape of two deformed heads, one of them was bigger than the other. Then a scream sounded very loudly and the fog went away through one of the air ducts, escaping from the building.

Everything was in complete silence again; however, Cas' weak voice was heard in the room a few more seconds later. The angel started to talk in another language. He sounded like he was begging for something. Castiel's desperate sapphire eyes were over Dean's emerald ones.

-Cas…I can't understand what you're saying, buddy. –said Dean with a frantic whisper. But the angel kept talking. He was stuttering, begging and crying softly.

- Olani londoh mahorela… Olani l-londoh ma-mahorela.

-In English, Cas, please. –begged Dean.

-Olani… l-londoh maho-mahorela…

-He's speaking in Enochian. –said Sam, recognizing the strange language.

Castiel put one trembling hand over Dean's chest and his voice and facial expression suddenly softened. His eyes were too heavy for him and his breathing was more difficult. He was entering into a peaceful darkness, but before that could happen, the angel managed to say something to the blonde hunter:

-In monons amiran.

And then, Castiel's hand fell limply on Dean's lap. The angel closed his eyes and he stopped breathing. If it wasn't for all the blood and ugly wounds on his face and hands, one could say that the dark-haired heavenly creature was asleep.

-There's no pulse. –said Bobby after putting the back of his hand on Castiel's neck.

-Check his heart. –said Sam, touching the angel's wrists, hoping for a pulse that wasn't there.

-His heart's not beating. –Bobby spoke while his hand was on Castiel's chest.

-And he's not breathing either. – said the dark haired hunter, with sadness.

-It's not fucking possible. –growled Dean, putting his hand in one of the dead celestial's arms, squeezing it hardly.

-He's dead, Dean. –there was sorrow in Bobby's voice, just like in Sam's face.

Dean's eyes were full of grief for the friend he had just lost. After all, even when Cass had betrayed his human friends and had made all those awful things as the "new god" when he had the Purgatory souls within his grace and flesh, Castiel tried to make amends at the end, returning the souls where they belonged. And Dean couldn't forget the fact that the troubled angel was one of the best friends he ever had.

-Fuck it. –It was a whisper from the blonde man's mouth. It came out with a lot of pain and impotence. Dean, Bobby and Sam were on their feet again, watching with sadness at the prone body of the unfortunate holy creature who was also their friend.

The older Winchester's eyes were on Castiel's bloody face while he was trying to hold his tears. And his voice was almost broken…

-Stupid, dumb child. Why did you do this to yourself, my friend?

It was a question without an answer. Castiel would never open his mouth again to explain his actions that eventually lead him to his own demise. His holy and reckless friend was gone forever.

The three men stayed there watching the corpse for a while, until Bobby spoke with a soft voice.

-He should have a hunter's funeral. No matter how many stupid things he did… he was part of this family.

-Yeah. –said Dean, with a monotonous voice. – We have to salt and burn Cas.

-I'll carry him outside. –suggested Sam, but Dean refused immediately.

-No, Sam. I will.

-Okay.

They stole a car, so they could take Castiel's body to a field outside the limits of the town, close to a little forest. They cleaned up Cas' face and hands and then he was set in place to wait for his funeral.

Dean was close to the altar, watching his friend's peaceful face with not just pain and sadness, but also with anger.

-This is my fault. –whispered Dean to the dead celestial creature –Angels are not supposed to have free will and feelings. I thought you could handle it… but…in the end it was so confusing for you. You were just a child in this world, buddy. That's why you needed our help. Why didn't you come to us for help, Cas? Why were you so stupid? I know it's my fault because I should have seen it coming. Maybe I treated you like crap in all these past months. Maybe I ignored all the signs. Maybe I was mad at you and that's why I ignored your own troubles. You said you were in a war. You had a lot of baggage on your shoulders… and with the Ninja Turtle Raphael and his douchebag allies behind your tail you must have been desperate. You should have come to us for help. Why did you go with Crowley? Why did you do such a stupid thing, Cas? I just… I wish…I wish I could have told you…told you that I… Anyway…never mind. I don't even know if you… if you felt the same… I wish… I wish it wouldn't have ended this way. Goodbye… Cas.

Castiel's body was wrapped in a white sheet and then, after a few more minutes, the celestial's remains were burning in front of the only three persons who attended to his funeral. Cas was a warrior, a soldier, just like Dean, Sam and Bobby were, and that's why he had the right to have a hunter's funeral, just like the one his human friends would have someday eventually.

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Author's note:

1 REVIEWS ARE VERY WELCOME. Thanks for reading

2 The story will be updated every one or two weeks. If I update late someday it's because I'm sick. I suffer from Crohn's disease, and that causes me a lot of troubles. But I will do my best effort to update the fanfic in time.

Thanks for your understanding.