-sigh- You guys wanna know something funny? Earlier this year, I wrote a fanfic about Blaine cheating on Kurt with Sebastian...and I basically got crucified for it. "It is extremely OOC for Blaine", they said. I'm not gloating or anything, it's just...I dunno. I'm surprised I'm basically right, but at the same time, I wish I wasn't.
I GUESS MAX GOOF IS GOING TO BE IN KINGDOM HEARTS, THEN! XD [/random, I know. But hey, I was right about Blaine cheating on Kurt...]
I don't own Glee. It belongs to Fox.
One day, you will wake up with nothing but your sorrys...
Blaine laughed derisively at the irony of those words. Those same words he sang with Kurt at Regionals that one year. Was that a bad omen? Those problems they had with Sebastian and Chandler, were they a sign that things were not going to work out?
How was he going to face everyone? He went against everything he stood for all because he was lonely and his boyfriend was inattentive.
He was surprised that Finn didn't beat the ever living crap out of him (he knew he deserved it). Of course, Rachel was extremely pissed at him, too. She kept glaring at him the rest of his visit. When he told Sam what happened...yep, you guessed it- he was pissed.
"What the actual hell, dude? You freaking slut shamed me last year- I didn't even cheat on anyone, and you cheat on Kurt? Really, Blaine? Really?!" His voice was shaking with anger.
Blaine curled up on his couch. He never felt so horrible. His heart ached terribly, his throat closed up, and he felt sick to his stomach. He needed someone to talk to. But who? His parents were out of town and could care less about his relationship...Sam and Rachel were pissed at him, he can't talk to Finn or Kurt or their parents, Ms. Pillsbury sucks at relationship counseling...
He supposed he could call Cooper. He would be as disappointed as Rachel, Finn, and Sam; and he would be over critical about his shortcomings as a boyfriend, but it was someone. He was desperate and alone, and he needed his brother.
He slowly dialed Cooper's number and took a deep breath. "Cooper? It's Blaine. I know you're probably busy, but...I am so alone right now. I made the biggest mistake of my life, and...I'm not going to resort to it, but I feel like killing myself, Coop. I need you more than ever. Please...even if you only have a minute...please call me."
A few hours later, Blaine got a text. 'On a plane to Lima. Be there in a few hours.'
XXX
"Blaine? I'm home." Cooper walked into the house and closed the door. "Blainey?"
"In here." Blaine said in a small voice from the living room. He was still curled up on the couch.
Cooper walked in and sat on the armrest of the couch. "Hey...what's wrong?"
"I went against everything I stood for. I didn't want to screw things up with Kurt, but...I did in the worst possible way." Blaine answered.
Cooper grew very concerned. "Oh, Blaine, what did you do?"
"I cheated on him." Tears started running down Blaine's face and his voice cracked. "After everything we've gone through, what he's gone through, I betrayed his trust and hurt him."
"Why would you do that?" Cooper asked, aghast.
"He wasn't returning my calls. He was ignoring me. I just...I was so lonely."
"So make new friends, eat pound cake, steal a damn yacht! Don't freaking cheat on him!" Cooper exclaimed, shocked. "I mean... you freaked out when Kurt texted another guy, and you sang a song about cheating in front of all your friends. I saw what that did to you. Now you go and do something worse to him? Can you be any more hypocritical?"
Blaine's breath stopped. He hadn't thought about that. He groaned loudly. "I'm a despicable human being. I don't deserve to live."
Cooper let out a huge breath and shook his head. "Does Kurt know?"
"Yeah...I told him."
"Well..." Cooper shrugged. "At least you were honest. That's...honorable. Then what happened?"
"We didn't break up, but we didn't make up either." Blaine answered. "I sent him flowers as an apology, but...he hasn't returned my calls. I just...I really want to fix this. I really hurt him. You should have seen him, Coop. It was like his whole world ended. It kills me that I'm the one that put it there."
"I dunno, Squirt. Cheating is pretty unforgivable." Cooper replied. "I'm actually surprised he didn't break up with you on the spot."
Blaine was openly sobbing now. "I just wish...I just wish that this is all a dream and I'm still in a coma after that Sadie Hawkins dance, and I want to wake up. God, I feel like a slut."
"Nah...you're just very needy and co-dependent." Cooper squeezed Blaine's shoulder comfortingly.
"I blew it. I wrecked everything." Blaine lamented. "Now everyone hates me."
"Hey, I don't hate you." Cooper said sincerely. "And...you know, Kurt not breaking up with you is probably a sign that everything's going to work out. Just talk to him or sing to him your regrets. It seemed to work last time."
"This time is different, though. I behaved irrationally and immaturely." Blaine replied. "I will never forgive myself."
"Aww, come on. You know, you could've done so much worse."
"What could possibly be worse?" Blaine asked.
"Lying about cheating...cheating on him with his brother..." Cooper supplied helpfully.
"Oh..." Blaine sighed. "What am I gonna do? I really want to make things right."
"Well, you can start by apologizing and explaining yourself." Cooper advised. "Make it up to him...send him gifts or something. Show him that you're sorry and you're willing to change."
Blaine nodded and sat up. "Thanks, Coop. I...I really appreciate it."
"No problem." Cooper smiled and pulled Blaine into a comforting hug. "Mmmm. It'll be okay."
Blaine sniffed. "I hope so. I feel like I set off a nuclear bomb in a major city. I should be banned from having boyfriends."
"You're being very dramatic. You made one mistake!" Cooper exclaimed. "Don't beat yourself up about it."
"I'll try..."
XXX
Kurt lay in the middle of his and Rachel's apartment, a pillow under his head, and was staring blankly at the ceiling. How could Blaine do this to him? He thought faith meant something to him! Kurt blinked away tears as he heard a soft thump next to him. Rachel threw down a pillow and lay next to her friend.
"Are you okay?" Rachel asked. Kurt turned to glare at her as if to say "what do you think?" "Sorry. Standard question."
Kurt slowly exhaled. "I ignored phone calls twice in my life. The first time was Karofsky and he tried to hang himself. The second time was Blaine and he cheated on me. You know, I think the universe is trying to tell me something."
"Don't ignore phone calls?" Rachel guessed. She chuckled lightly. "I can't believe Blaine would cheat on you."
"Neither can I."
"Remember when we all thought you cheated on him?" Rachel asked lightly. "Ironic, huh?"
"You know, somehow, this isn't helping." Kurt said dully.
"Sorry. This is so sad, Kurt. Finn and I, Brittana, and Tike broke up; you and Blaine and Mr. Schue and Ms. Pillsbury are on the outs...what is happening to us? It seems like everything's falling apart." Rachel lamented.
"That's life, I guess." Kurt shrugged. "Long distance relationships never last."
Rachel nodded slowly. "What are you going to do? I mean, I'd break up with Blaine if it were me."
Kurt swallowed. "Blaine is the only happiness I have outside of my family and my job and friends, Rachel. I...don't want to lose him, but...what if he does it again?"
Rachel's heart went out for Kurt. He was so hurt and broken. Was this how Finn felt when Quinn and she cheated on him, or how Sam felt when Quinn cheated on him, or how Mercedes' ex-boyfriend felt when she cheated on him? "Personally...I think you guys should take a break from each other. Blaine needs to grow up a little and get over his neediness and loneliness. But...ultimately, it's your choice."
"Thanks." Kurt smiled slightly and nodded. He sighed and sat up. "We better go. NYADA and Vogue are waiting for us."
Rachel smiled, nodded, and got up. She pulled Kurt into a comforting hug.
XX
After a week of thinking things through, Kurt hopped on a plane to Lima. He texted Blaine to meet at an abandoned warehouse outside of town. He walked slowly towards Blaine still angry, hurt, and betrayed.
"Hey." Blaine said slightly nervously. "Um...why are we meeting here?"
Kurt took a deep breath before speaking. "Because we've never been here. I figured it would at least be easier if I said what I need to say." Blaine nodded in understanding. "Do you recognize this facial expression? Because if I remember correctly, you had the exact same expression when the Warblers betrayed you by throwing a rock salt slushy at you, and when you found out I texted another guy. I knew you weren't perfect, Blaine, but I never imagined you'd be unfaithful."
Blaine hung his head in shame. Tears spilled from his eyes. "I'm so sorry. I wish I could take it back."
"But you can't. The damage has already been done." Kurt said dully.
They were silent for a minute. "Are we breaking up?"
Kurt swallowed down a lump. "You know...you were the first gay guy my age I've ever met. My first love, my first time, my first duet with a guy, and I don't care if there's photographic and video proof against it- my first real kiss. Outside of my family, you were the only good thing that's happened to me over the past few years. You were the best first boyfriend anyone could ever ask for: you saved me from McKinley, you went with me to that stupid junior prom, you transferred schools to be with me, you took a slushy for me, you gave me a promise ring, you convinced me to go to New York. You ruined all of that by being unfaithful. After three weeks of me being in New York. You could have at least broken up with me first. Or flew to New York the moment you felt the temptation to cheat. I told you to visit me every weekend. Yet you spend one weekend fucking some other guy!"
"We didn't get that far." Blaine said quietly.
"That's supposed to make me feel better?" Kurt argued back. Although, he felt slightly relieved it didn't get that far. He sniffed and wiped away tears. "You know...when Sebastian put you in the hospital...I was so so mad. I wanted to beat him up for doing that to you. But what held me back was the fact that if I did hurt him, I'd be going against everything I stood for and against. Plus, I knew you'd be disappointed in me for going against everything I stood for. I didn't...for you. And you repay me by going against everything you stood for and against?"
If Blaine felt bad before, he felt worse now. "I was lonely."
"I was lonely even before I met you! You don't see me messing around with random guys!" Kurt exclaimed. "I want you to know that I forgive you and I still love you. I'd take you back in a second. But how can I when there's always that chance of you betraying me again? I'll always have this fear that you'd be unfaithful. That I'm not good enough."
"You are good enough." Blaine insisted, sobbing.
"If I was, you wouldn't have cheated." Kurt said simply. "I'm sorry, Blaine...but we're done." He turned and walked away crying.
Blaine hugged himself and sank to his knees, crying. How could he do this? How could he be so stupid? He hurt the only thing that mattered most to him in this world and now he's gone.
He is never going to forgive himself.
